'No girlfriend. Just go to work, go home'

ILoveYourVibes · 21-10-2019 9:27am

Do you at least have time for **** op?

Plopsu · 21-10-2019 11:39am

Have you considered giving up drinking?

Snails pace · 21-10-2019 1:30pm

ardinn wrote: »

Learn to jive, waltz and quickstep - classes are brilliant fun, you dont need a partner, and you will meet 100 people on your first night and 500 at your first gig. It truly is the way forward for you!

Pm me where you are ill put you in touch with the best instructor.

A brilliant idea. I was in Lisdoonvarna there a month ago, I'd love to be able to jive properly. You can just start dancing with a girl and away you go.

worded · 21-10-2019 1:33pm

Arghus wrote: »

Take up fly-fishing.

+1

Women in waders

https://www.caddisflyshop.com/women-in-waders-calendar.html

sbsquarepants · 21-10-2019 1:41pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

No gf means no sex, no love, no happiness. Just empty days spent drinking.

Look at all those bitter loser men who sit at the bar all day. That's what happens when you have no woman.

Don't be one of those loosers OP, head into the lounge, the lounge is always full of fanny.

Candie wrote: »

I would hate to be the woman held responsible for solving all of the the OPs problems and expected to provide him with all the keys to his own happiness.

The key to happiness my dear candie is manyfold, one might search an eternity and be none the wiser....but blowjobs make a perfectly fine substitute:D

Wibbs · 21-10-2019 1:42pm

worded wrote: »

+1

Women in waders

At least the lass in the second pic is holding the fish correctly(and the fish looks alive), while posing in what looks like freezing cold weather in a bleedin bikini. Triple points for being a trooper.

Woke Hogan · 21-10-2019 2:12pm

I'm surprised more people aren't sympathetic to the first lad, considering that so many of the users of this website would also be incels themselves.

To the original poster: you have to figure out why you are repelling these women and work on it. If you're a big fat slob, you need to lose weight. If you have childish hobbies such as playing videogames or watching films based on comics, get into reading and develop yourself intellectually so you have interesting things to talk about.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking everyone else it out at mad sex parties, few are but the vast majority of people aren't and those who are certainly aren't posting on this website. No woman is interested in dating a loser who sits around whining because he can't get any fanny. Sort yourself out and stop whinging.

Ironicname · 21-10-2019 2:13pm

Woke Hogan wrote:

I'm surprised more people aren't sympathetic to the first lad, considering that so many of the users of this website would also be incels themselves.

Jesus...

corner of hells · 21-10-2019 2:14pm

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I'm surprised more people aren't sympathetic to the first lad, considering that so many of the users of this website would also be incels themselves.

To the original poster: you have to figure out why you are repelling these women and work on it. If you're a big fat slob, you need to lose weight. If you have childish hobbies such as playing videogames or watching films based on comics, get into reading and develop yourself intellectually so you have interesting things to talk about.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking everyone else it out at mad sex parties, few are but the vast majority of people aren't and those who are certainly aren't posting on this website. No woman is interested in dating a loser who sits around whining because he can't get any fanny. Sort yourself out and stop whinging.

Howya Woke?

greenspurs · 21-10-2019 2:22pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

"Honestly mate get a fat chick or an ugly chick or an ugly fat chick. Bonus points if they are foreign and like to look after their men.
My missus if good looking but I'd trade her for an ugly bird who doesn't expect too much from me and life in general of I'm being honest" - what a thing to say about the mother of your children... and the attitude to women you display before it.

Some ****ed up attitudes towards women here at times. Only a minority, and I certainly don't blame all men (which would be stupid of me) but it's a bit disturbing.

You are taking one dudes (tongue in cheek?) post as a yardstick ?

Minority or not.
A) Its Boards

Its in After Hours, on Boards

monkeysnapper · 21-10-2019 2:23pm

riemann wrote: »

Start a few hobbies, interests.

Meet like minded people.

Get off boards.ie

Absolutly this .....

I've a few hobbies and I have browsed info on boards and you'll never meet more helpful people but you'll also never meet more negative and miserable people aswell ....

Especially in the soccer forums....

My advice is to get a dog or just go for walks anyway .... get a cycle, a cheap 2nd hand one if your short of cash and just get out and get some fresh air ....

Join a gym where theres a pool, sauna , steam room .

Go home in evening , eat dinner and get straight out and do something, anything ....dont sit down on phone or watch tv .... especially boards.ie.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 21-10-2019 3:26pm

Sounds like you could do with knocking the drink on the head for a while anyway. Worst case scenario you're a better looking, happier, singleton with more money in your pocket.

And stop going out by yourself looking for women.

Get a hobby for chrissake, they're not things you're born with you cultivate them. Imagine you get a date, how does that play out?

"So what do you do for fun?"
"Well, I go to work, go home, sometimes prowl bars for women, and sometimes drink to the point I'm depressed. But if I had a girlfriend life would be good"

Come on now. I know your situation is painful and feels unfair but nobody can fix it for you and what you've been doing doesn't work.

On the subject of forming bonds with women and they always turn out to be attached, do you think it's a possibility that it's just that they have their guard down with you because they're not single? I have to say, if I was a single woman I'd be incredibly careful not to give you a hint of notion of the wrong idea because you do rather come across as the type who can easily mistake basic manners and pleasantness as romantic interest, and that's just over text.

Bob Harris · 21-10-2019 3:54pm

BDI wrote: »

There is something for everyone.

Do you mean a fleshlight?

Anus Von Skidmark · 21-10-2019 4:19pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

No gf means no sex, no love, no happiness. Just empty days spent drinking.

Look at all those bitter loser men who sit at the bar all day. That's what happens when you have no woman.

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

Yeah well not all men get to live a life of sex and parties and fun. Those of us on the outside looking in get warped.

Imagine if no man ever showed interest in you? You'd be just as bad.

*Ducks*... INCELS INCOMING!!

ToddyDoody · 21-10-2019 4:42pm

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Sorry, I had to call this out. That's an extremely damaging statement. It may be the case for you, but to tell someone that finding a partner gives you a greater purpose is setting them up for depression. Not everyone is able to find someone, not everyone is confident enough or whatever to be able to find someone. Telling them that it gives a greater purpose is like telling a terminally ill child with 2 weeks to live that the new theme park being built next year will be awesome.

OP, i'm not one for advice on finding someone, indeed others are trying to help me in another thread, but the single life ain't all that bad if you think about it. Surely you can see the couples every day, at work or in public/on a night out. Have a good look at them, and you'll see the cracks in these seemingly perfect relationships. They have their downsides too!

I'm lucky, I have 3 brothers and a sister to remind me of the hard times in relationships!

For a minute I thought the happy ever after was going to fly.

I'd recommend visiting the self help section of any bookshop. You can't miss it, the self help section is ever expanding and threatens to take over the entire floor.

I've enjoyed Alan De Botton and The School of Life series. Google the essay 'why you will marry the wrong person' but that's me, there's no end of other styles of book.

Redneck Reject · 21-10-2019 4:59pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

Amigo it seems you have trapped yourself in that scenario. Do some soul searching, discover things you enjoy and then search for like minded groups to join and see what blossoms from it.

Myself being an immigrant, was hard to make friends here since I didn't grow up with them. But persevere and eventually you will make some fantastic friendships and more.

Never give up on that or yourself, thats my advice. I truly wish you well.

gw80 · 21-10-2019 5:09pm

Arghus wrote: »

Take up fly-fishing.

And fly tying, to take up your time when you're not fly fishing,
It will use up all that disposable income you probably have lying around also.

Earthhorse · 21-10-2019 6:12pm

I can't tell what's satire and what's not on boards anymore.

AlphabetCards · 21-10-2019 6:14pm

This dude is pure Doomer material.

21-10-2019 6:19pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

Ask your boss to give one of your 15 minute breaks between 1.45 and 3.00

Then call Joe Duffy / P..

21-10-2019 6:21pm

AlphabetCards wrote: »

This dude is pure Doomer material.

Here ya go OP

Justsuck it up....

https://youtu.be/Fn310KaOxnU

Prominent_Dawg · 21-10-2019 6:29pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Ask your boss to give one of your 15 minute breaks between 1.45 and 3.00

Then call Joe Duffy / P..

Why?

Edgware · 21-10-2019 6:32pm

gw80 wrote: »

And fly tying, to take up your time when you're not fly fishing,
It will use up all that disposable income you probably have lying around also.

Fishing is great. Manys the afternoon I spent down by the river with a rod in my hand

Redneck Reject · 21-10-2019 6:36pm

Edgware wrote: »

Fishing is great. Manys the afternoon I spent down by the river with a rod in my hand

Catching a few Brown Trout steamed with onion, garlic and lemon. Just fantastic.

ILoveYourVibes · 21-10-2019 10:36pm

Originally Posted by Woke Hogan View Post
I'm surprised more people aren't sympathetic to the first lad, considering that so many of the users of this website would also be incels themselves.

He isn't an incel. Incels are people who can't have relationships because of their personality issues not because they lack the time needed to invest in one. And of course we sympathize.

jay0109 · 21-10-2019 10:37pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

When you discover a bar!

DaeryssaOne · 22-10-2019 11:20am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

He isn't an incel. Incels are people who can't have relationships because of their personality issues not because they lack the time needed to invest in one. And of course we sympathize.

Have you read any of the OP's posts rather than just the title? Nowhere is he saying that he doesn't have time for a girlfriend he's saying that he wants a girl to magically find him and make him happy. He doesn't realise that he needs to be happy in himself first for that to happen.

Similarly, he thinks drinking will solve his depression when he doesn't realise that the drink is what is causing his depression.

blinding · 22-10-2019 11:34am

On the bright side .

Women are way more trouble that they are worth especially in the long term .

Give homosexuality a go . Plenty of sex available there or so I am told .

El_Duderino 09 · 22-10-2019 11:36am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

He isn't an incel. Incels are people who can't have relationships because of their personality issues not because they lack the time needed to invest in one. And of course we sympathize.

I'd say you could get lost in the weeds on what is or is not an incel. I think they argue amongst themselves about the definition (never ever had sex vs haven't had sex recently). But I don't think it comes down to personality. It's people who can't get a relationship (or sex) for whatever reason. So it could be because they're not able to understand social interactions (autistic or similar) Or they could be physically unattractive or whatever else.

seamus · 22-10-2019 12:42pm

For the most part what unites "incels" is the lack of relationship and an inability to understand why they don't have one. Often they assign blame for their situation to third parties and external forces. Though many also are aware of a crippling lack of social skills or self-confidence and aren't necessarily your stereotypical misogynist. They just tend to be the loudest.

Ultimately the frustration about not being able to "get" a partner, for both sexes, comes down to an outdated understanding of what a partner is.

People are increasingly no longer looking to "settle" because society says that single people are sad or because you need to have kids. More and more people are realising that being single is better than being in a bad or boring relationship. In fact, the data even supports this conclusion.

But this has left a lot of people adrift. Men and women who in the past would have landed partners who were willing to "settle", are now being left on the shelf. This is not because they're "bad" potential partners, it's because they don't realise that a good relationship requires actual and ongoing effort.

The harsh truth for people like the OP is that you have to prove to potential partners that being in your company will improve their lives. If you're looking for someone to come in and improve your life, then by implication you're going to drag them down.

The drinking is a tough one though. You're addicted OP. I bet if you're sitting at home of a Friday watching TV, you start itching for a drink. **** it, you probably buy it on the way home. And sitting at home watching TV is going to propagate the cycle. But there's not point in giving any advice on breaking the cycle until you acknowledge the problem exists.

AlphabetCards · 22-10-2019 12:49pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Here ya go OP

Justsuck it up....

https://youtu.be/Fn310KaOxnU

'Monsieur Bogdanoff, he bought'

... 'Domp it'

Feisar · 22-10-2019 1:37pm

OP getting yer rock and roll isn't going to magically make you happy. A good chunk of my twenties were wild. Always had a girl or two or three on the go. Often woke up somewhere in Dublin looking for a bus that said An Lár. When the drink/women/mad craic wear off all you got is yourself and the four walls of your mind. If you have a minotaur down in the darkness deal with that first, worry about the women later.

chrissb8 · 22-10-2019 1:46pm

iamtony wrote: »

That's the thing about life. Happiness is based on ups and downs. If it's good all the time your not happy. If you can do whatever you want all the time you will get bored of it and want the simple life. And if he finds a relationship he will get bored of that eventually, but should have fun along the way. We can't win in this life unfortunately unless we are willing to accept life for what it is and what we have and not what we have not. Unfortunately society tells us different..

That's where knowing yourself inside out comes in. If you can honestly figure out what it is you really want then your golden. No amount of advertising, opinions or society will change that for you because you will understand intrinsically what you want. You weigh up the negatives and positives of each lifestyle choice and think ultimately what will make you most happy. That makes letting go of "missing out" on stuff that much easier.

blinding · 22-10-2019 2:41pm

Try a lady boy .

mariaalice · 22-10-2019 2:50pm

According to AH all you have to do is wait till you are in your late thirties and women will be flinging themselves at you, you will be fighting them off.

blinding · 22-10-2019 2:51pm

When women come after you , you will wisely run away .

22-10-2019 3:13pm

blinding wrote: »

Try a lady boy .

You've to call them ladies now..

blinding · 22-10-2019 3:23pm

Deleted User wrote: »

You've to call them ladies now..

My lady boys don’t behave like ladies :eek:

dodderangler · 22-10-2019 3:31pm

Bullet To The Head? wrote: »

I can't be the only one trapped in this hell. When does it get better?

Hell? You are living the best life possible mate. Why give that up? There are times I’d love to get that life back

SusieBlue · 22-10-2019 3:42pm

If you aren't happy on your own you won't be happy with someone else.

Think about it OP, you have complete control and ownership over yourself.
So if you can't do the job, what makes you think someone else will? You're only setting yourself up for disappointment. With your attitude there will be so much pressure on any prospective relationship being "perfect" it'll be over before it even starts. Any normal girl would run from that kind of scenario.

Wibbs · 22-10-2019 4:01pm

SusieBlue wrote: »

If you aren't happy on your own you won't be happy with someone else.

TBH SB I have long thought that an overly simplistic idea. It certainly has some value yes, but on the other hand, we're a social animal and if you strip away the window dressing our main drive is to grow up, pair bond and make little copies of ourselves*, rinse and repeat. For even the most internally well balanced, sharing a life is preferable and yes will tend to increase contentment. I've also known a fair number of men and women who were background a bit miserable when single and perfectly happy and well balanced as part of a couple.

*that doesn't exclude gay folks either by any means as most also want a stable monogamous relationship and many also want kids and adopt or go the surrogate route where possible.

Chelle_C · 22-10-2019 4:02pm

Nothing more off-putting to a single girl than a fella who has nothing going on his life.
I dated a guy exactly like you a while ago and whilst I really fancied him at the start it was only a matter of weeks before I realised he had literally nothing going on (other than seeing me) and I totally went off him. I became his whole focus, if I couldn't see him a particular day he'd get very down and tell me he had nothing else to do and try to make me feel guilty.

Go travelling, doesn't have to be a 6 month stint in India - a few European weekend breaks here and there, stay in hostels if you're broke.
I went to Rome alone for a week once, first time away. Made friends with a couple of the girls in the hostel and had a holiday fling with a local Italian guy that I met on POF whilst there :P was an amazing experience!

You go out 3 times a week alone to meet women?? That sounds so creepy.

Your time would be much better spent doing something productive, maybe go back to college and do an evening course?
I've done this twice and I made friends each time, new people to socialise with which will ultimately lead you to going out to new places/meeting even more people.

No point sitting around moaning, do something about it.

spaceHopper · 22-10-2019 4:10pm

Years ago I was the "driver" on a night out saw this chick and she was F-ing amazing totally my type, didn't have the balls to approacher her. By the end of night I was sober enough to see she looked like a bag of cats, hair a mess, face a mess cross eyed... if you woke up next to her in the morning your'd chewy your arm off. So next time you are going out think of it this way by the time you've drunk enough to have the balls to go up to her - you're too drunk. 3 Second rule applies go straight up with in 3 seconds otherwise you botttle it and by the time you do somebody else has or you are a mess.

Go drinking to get wasted all you wany but when you go on the pull drink less. Even go out at 10 pm or 11 pm when ever it gets bussy. Get a beer buzz with out getting wasted.

SusieBlue · 22-10-2019 4:19pm

Wibbs wrote: »

TBH SB I have long thought that an overly simplistic idea. It certainly has some value yes, but on the other hand, we're a social animal and if you strip away the window dressing our main drive is to grow up, pair bond and make little copies of ourselves*, rinse and repeat. For even the most internally well balanced, sharing a life is preferable and yes will tend to increase contentment. I've also known a fair number of men and women who were background a bit miserable when single and perfectly happy and well balanced as part of a couple.

*that doesn't exclude gay folks either by any means as most also want a stable monogamous relationship and many also want kids and adopt or go the surrogate route where possible.

Oh of course its preferable to be with someone. I think that's true for most people, myself included.
I just think its very naive to believe that getting into a relationship will solve the deep unhappiness he seem to feel - it'll just manifest itself in other ways.
If anything it'll probably make him worse, because his fear of losing the relationship or something going wrong will cause him such anxiety he won't even be able to enjoy it.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 22-10-2019 4:26pm

Wherever you go, there you are. Y'know?

seamus · 22-10-2019 4:30pm

Wibbs wrote: »

TBH SB I have long thought that an overly simplistic idea. It certainly has some value yes, but on the other hand, we're a social animal and if you strip away the window dressing our main drive is to grow up, pair bond and make little copies of ourselves*, rinse and repeat. For even the most internally well balanced, sharing a life is preferable and yes will tend to increase contentment. I've also known a fair number of men and women who were background a bit miserable when single and perfectly happy and well balanced as part of a couple.

We're a social animal, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a romantic relationship specifically makes us happy.

Recent research suggests that a boring relationship may be worse than even being single; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201910/being-single-beats-bad-relationships-and-even-neutral-ones

I do think you're right that it may be overly simplistic to say that a relationship won't make someone happy. But it depends on the root of your unhappiness. If you have issues, then a relationship is not going to magic them away.

But if ultimately you're just stuck in a rut, you procrastinate and can't get off your hole, then a new relationship will break your stagnant routine, and ultimately will form new habits. Which may make you happier. Or may just give you new ways to procrastinate. The easy way to identify it is if all your relationships tend to end the same way, then you've probably got bigger issues to work on.

Chelle_C · 22-10-2019 4:50pm

I agree that we're social animals and it's human nature to seek relationships. Yes, being with a compatible partner can be deeply satisfying.

However, it's a fact that it simply doesn't happen for everyone.
And if you are one of those that doesn't find love, do you just give up and sit around moping?
There's still a whole world out there, a whole life to live so at least try to enjoy it.
You may be alone but that doesn't have to mean being chronically miserable and lonely.

At least try and change your situation, no one is going to randomly knock on your door one day and change it for you.

Wibbs · 22-10-2019 4:56pm

seamus wrote: »

The easy way to identify it is if all your relationships tend to end the same way, then you've probably got bigger issues to work on.

24 Carat True Fact right there.

izzyflusky · 22-10-2019 5:02pm

To be fair, you can easily go to work and back home with not much else on when in a relationship too. In fact, it can be worse because overtime most would end up with kids so you go to work and then your second job after...by the time your evening duties are fulfilled you are fit for bed.

I'm also curious as to how a night out alone works? I can only picture your token creepy guy on a pub or club dancing alone. So it's a genuine question!

For the poster who found the light skinned comment coming from a Brazilian funny, you do know that not all Brazilians are black or tanned right? And in fact they tend to be quite racist I found too...

TheW1zard · 22-10-2019 5:04pm

Conquer your inner b1tch

'No girlfriend. Just go to work, go home'

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