Would you judge your partner on their previous number?

Paddy Cow · 01-10-2018 8:17pm #1

I was reading the thread about the number of partners a person has had and it reminded me of an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda and Steve were comparing numbers. Turned out Miranda had a lot more than Steve, which wouldn't be the perceived social norm.

I am a woman and haven't had that many partners (not giving the number so don't even ask :P). While I wouldn't judge a friend for sowing his/her wild oats, I have to say I would judge a potential partner on how many they've had if the number was really high. I know I'm probably going to get a lot of flak for this but that's how I feel.

To be clear, this isn't woman shaming. This applies to men and women. If a guy had a really high number I would see it as him wanting to play the field and not wanting commitment. If a "player" wanted to be in a relationship with me, I would be wary. People can change but at what point do you put your trust in someone who has "previous form"?

01-10-2018 8:23pm

I have zero interest in asking

Wildsurfer · 01-10-2018 8:25pm

Practice makes perfect

Signore Fancy Pants · 01-10-2018 8:25pm

If I'm looking for a ride...the last thing I want to know is how many jockeys have been on the horse.

dartboardio · 01-10-2018 8:26pm

It doesn’t tell anything about anyone imo

People could have been happy to sleep with many people in younger years, others weren’t and preferred to keep it to more serious partners

Doesn’t tell a thing if you ask me

01-10-2018 8:28pm

Why broach the subject? Emphasis on 'previous', celebrate the present and leave such matters off the table.

Paddy Cow · 01-10-2018 8:32pm

dartboardio wrote: »

It doesn’t tell anything about anyone imo

People could have been happy to sleep with many people in younger years, others weren’t and preferred to keep it to more serious partners

Doesn’t tell a thing if you ask me

That's my point. How would you know if you were just another fling or a serious partner?

Donald Trump · 01-10-2018 8:38pm

Why buy the Paddy Cow when you can have the milk for free.

Or if every other fecker is after getting the milk for nuttin' :pac:

utyh2ikcq9z76b · 01-10-2018 8:47pm

bluewolf wrote: »

I have zero interest in asking

Ask no questions and you will be told no lies

Hector Bellend · 01-10-2018 8:54pm

Might be better to know the truth

wakka12 · 01-10-2018 8:58pm

It wouldnt bother me that much but if it was a really high number like close to triple digits or more then I would be afraid they are extremely sexual and want to cheat on me or lose interest in me or they might have an STD

Seth Brundle · 01-10-2018 9:01pm

Her count doesnt bother me much seeing as a football team only counts as one!

McMurphy · 01-10-2018 9:02pm

Not at all, she finally joined me on the 087's, I never ever judged her for having an 085 one for so long.

Dravokivich · 01-10-2018 9:02pm

The only time it was ever on my mind was when I had never experienced intimate relationships and I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't even care about how many people they had been with or how much. It was just on my mind that they had and I didn't know what to do because I hadn't.

Now it'll make no odds to me. I don't care how many other people someone was with before or after me. Ill just focus on enjoying their company however we end up doing so.

Southwest Alaska · 01-10-2018 9:08pm

bluewolf wrote: »

I have zero interest in asking

What else do you have zero interest asking, what previous jobs your partner had, if they have siblings, what food they like?

Southwest Alaska · 01-10-2018 9:11pm

wakka12 wrote: »

It wouldnt bother me that much but if it was a really high number like close to triple digits or more then I would be afraid they are extremely sexual and want to cheat on me or lose interest in me or they might have an STD

Or maybe someone with a small number is more likely to cheat as they have more to experience.

LollipopJimmy · 01-10-2018 9:12pm

No interest in asking and had some dodgy years there so wouldntveven be able to guess at my own

OldMrBrennan83 · 01-10-2018 9:12pm

Wouldn't really have bothered me. Maybe if they were a complete buckbag but I don't think I ever asked. I'd never have associated with the type anyway.

dartboardio · 01-10-2018 9:13pm

Well I’m pretty sure you’d have a good idea it’s a serious partner if your boyfriend or girlfriend had many before you and now yer together quite a while.. years etc

01-10-2018 9:18pm

Southwest Alaska wrote: »

What else do you have zero interest asking, what previous jobs your partner had, if they have siblings, what food they like?

No you're right, i'm off to ask him for a detailed list of every meal he's ever eaten before he met me

Signore Fancy Pants · 01-10-2018 9:19pm

bluewolf wrote: »

No you're right, i'm off to ask him for a detailed list of every meal he's ever eaten before he ate me

Fixed that for ya Bluey :pac:

Soz

Paddy Cow · 01-10-2018 9:23pm

bluewolf wrote: »

I have zero interest in asking

Are you seriously saying you have never judged a potential partner? That doesn't make any sense. If you are looking for a long term relationship and you meet someone who has many hook ups, would that not ring alarm bells?

01-10-2018 9:23pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Are you seriously saying you have never judged a potential partner? That doesn't make any sense. If you are looking for a long term relationship and you meet someone who has many hook ups, would that not ring alarm bells?

How would i know how many hook ups they've had?

Signore Fancy Pants · 01-10-2018 9:30pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Are you seriously saying you have never judged a potential partner? That doesn't make any sense. If you are looking for a long term relationship and you meet someone who has many hook ups, would that not ring alarm bells?

There is no guarantee that a potential partner who has has 2 previous partners is looking for something serious....they could be aiming for 100 and you are just a stepping stone.

A high number does not equate to a risky future relationship. Some people may see it that the potential partner had enough of messing around and wants to settle down.

You seem to want to quantify that high, or your definition of 'high', is to be a definitive warning sign and to avoid at all costs. Nonsense.

If your thinking was correct there would be a lot less couples in the world.

Hector Bellend · 01-10-2018 9:36pm

We all have our pasts and it would be naive to think your better half doesnt have some sort of sexual history.

I love and trust my better half too much to worry about who she may have slept with before she met me.

Your Face · 01-10-2018 10:27pm

I only judge on her number of previous convictions.

01-10-2018 10:34pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Are you seriously saying you have never judged a potential partner? That doesn't make any sense. If you are looking for a long term relationship and you meet someone who has many hook ups, would that not ring alarm bells?

Ate you seriously saying you would ask someone you just started seeing for their 'number'?

Southwest Alaska · 01-10-2018 10:44pm

bluewolf wrote: »

No you're right, i'm off to ask him for a detailed list of every meal he's ever eaten before he met me

Or you could be normal and give him the gist of what food you like.

Southwest Alaska · 01-10-2018 10:45pm

Hector Bellend wrote: »

We all have our pasts and it would be naive to think your better half doesnt have some sort of sexual history.

I love and trust my better half too much to worry about who she may have slept with before she met me.

Talking about does not equal worrying. Talking about your favourite movies does not mean you are worried about them.

Try_harder · 01-10-2018 10:46pm

Im 086, were a protected species now

Southwest Alaska · 01-10-2018 10:47pm

I think people who are so adamantly against asking or knowing as if it's a sin have a problem just like a person who is obsessed with it has a problem. Both cases are as bad as each other.

JupiterKid · 01-10-2018 11:13pm

No, it wouldn't bother me at all. The sex I and my partner have now is what matters, not how many either of us have f*cked in the past.

The past is the past. Is some residual Catholic shame/prudery/guilt impacting you attitude OP?

Yer Da sells Avon · 01-10-2018 11:29pm

There is no way that I would ever put my penis where other penises have previously been. Put it this way - if your penis has touched something that someone else's penis has touched, that means you've essentially touched their penis with your penis. If that's not gay, then I don't know what is.

Hector Bellend · 01-10-2018 11:46pm

Southwest Alaska wrote: »

Talking about does not equal worrying. Talking about your favourite movies does not mean you are worried about them.

We dont talk about it because it doesnt really matter

Donald Trump · 02-10-2018 12:02am

Hector Bellend wrote: »

We all have our pasts and it would be naive to think your better half doesnt have some sort of sexual history.

I love and trust my better half too much to worry about who she may have slept with before she met me.

Hector, why didn't you just advise the OP to have a **** and forget about it?

Would you judge your partner on their previous number?

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