If architects had to work like software developers

Dear Mr. Architect:


Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the
blueprints to me, I will
make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the
cost breakdown
for each configuration so
that I can arbitrarily pick one.


Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost
less than the one
I am currently living in.
Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies
that exist in my
current house (the floor
of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have
nearly enough insulation in
them).


As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
maintenance
costs as low as possible.
This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features
like aluminum,
vinyl, or composite siding.
(If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to
explain your decision
in detail.)


Please take care that modern design practices and the latest
materials are
used in construction of
the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most
up-to-date ideas and
methods. Be alerted,
however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate,
among other things,
my 1952 Gibson
refrigerator.


To insure that you are building the correct house for our
entire family,
make certain that you
contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My
mother-in-law will
have very strong feelings
about how the house should be designed, since she visits us
at least once a
year. Make sure that you
weigh all of thses options carefully and come to the right
decision. I,
however, retain the right to
overrule any choices that you make.


Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job
is to develop
the overall plans for the
house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is
not appropriate
to be choosing the color
of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.


Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources
to build the
house itself. Your first
priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications.
Once I approve
these plans, however, I
would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.


While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep
in mind that
sooner or later I will have
to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a ide
variety of potential buyers.> Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is > a consensus of
the population in my aea
that they like the feaures this house has.


Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not
necessary at this
time to do the real design,
since they will be used only for construction bids. Be
advised, however,
that you will be held
accountable for any increase of construction costs as a
result of later
design changes.


You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting
project as this! To
be able to use the latest
techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your
designs is
something that can't happen
very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete
ideas and
plans.


PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
instructions I've given you in this
letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these
differences. I have tried in the
past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
responsibility, I will have to
find another architect.


PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel
trailer. Please
advise me as soon as
possible if this is the case.

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