Have you ever judged someone positively only to find out they're an as*hole?

jeanjolie · 15-06-2017 7:47am #1

We usually hear stories of the opposite where you for example a girl in tracksuits, dyed hair, harsh voice sits next to you on the bus with her kids and you think she must be scamming the welfare system only to learn she's getting actually going to DIT to get a degree that will lift her out of poverty (True story by the way).

Seldom do we hear about stories where you meet someone nice and cute only to learn that they tried to strangle their brother/sister to death in their youth. I know this scenario happens a lot in relationships with women and abusive men but I'm wondering if you've had this unfortunate experience with any friends, peers, teachers.

Peregrinus · 15-06-2017 7:51am

Well, I know a poster on Boards whom I took to be reasonable and decent, until I learned that if he saw a girl in tracksuit, dyed hair, harsh voice sitting on a bus with her kids, he thought she must be scamming the welfare system. ;-)

Pac1Man · 15-06-2017 7:52am

Harsh voice? It's not her fault if she can't sing.

D3V!L · 15-06-2017 7:53am

There was this teacher at our school who was really sound. He turned out to be a criminal master mind meth cook !! And a proper c*nt at that.

15-06-2017 8:03am

Yeah, close friend, turned out she was pretty horrific. A few unpleasant things didn't stack up, she had lied about her knowledge about a very nasty business involving money stolen from very vulnerable people, when confronted she got hysterical and threatened suicide, screwed over another good friend etc. Never sure was she horrific all along or did something change.

Surreptitious · 15-06-2017 8:05am

Dyed hair? THE HORROR.

Funkfield · 15-06-2017 8:06am

Thinly veiled Leo Varadkar thread

corner of hells · 15-06-2017 8:23am

Funkfield wrote: »

Thinly veiled Leo Varadkar thread

Can we not just have an ordinarily veiled thread for a change ?

s3rtvdbwfj81ch · 15-06-2017 8:28am

Nope, when I meet people they start high on my assholeometer, and only move towards normalisation, into soundhood, by their actions and utterances should they prove to not be arseholes.

Samaris · 15-06-2017 8:38am

Yeah. I do tend to give people the benefit of the doubt because I dislike making judgments about people based on what someone else said (had it done against me, it was awful). But sometimes I find out that they were entirely right and I am entirely wrong. One situation will stay with me, and I cut that person out of my life eventually.

I rarely regret giving people a shot, even when it seems inevitable in hindsight that I was going to get hurt by it. On the flipside, I believed someone (heh, actually the person I'm referencing above) about someone else, a friend, and it ended our friendship over time. I was wrong in that case and I wronged the other guy. >.> I was also wrong about her and that's one of the consequences.

Badly Drunk Boy · 15-06-2017 8:44am

When I repeated the Leaving many years ago, the 3 or 4 schools in my town had just started a programme to 'centralise' the Leaving repeats to one school (but certain classes were in the other schools).

One lad from the local, expensive fee-paying school seemed grand, and was a really well-regarded singer, of the church and operatic variety. I noticed that he didn't really talk to many people in the class, even though he wasn't the loner type. I was one of the few people he would talk to, for some strange reason. I think he didn't speak to the others out of condescension, not wanting to lower himself to their level.

Anyway, he eventually started telling me stories about what himself and a friend of his got up to. There's an estate near where he lives where the front row of houses faced a grassy embankment on the other side of the road, and with his friend, a few times they'd make wooden crosses, stick the onto the embankment, set them alight (? la KKK) and then ring a few doorbells, a run off to watch to see if it freaked out the people living there. Okay, not the worst but it was an early indicator of what was to come.

The worst one was the story of how he and his friend had a kitten in a field nearby, set it alight, and tried to play tennis with it, trying to fling the burning kitten at each other with tennis racquets. To me that was a sign of a sociopath. Even if he was making up the story, it showed how his mind worked.

Ciaran_B · 15-06-2017 8:44am

jeanjolie wrote: »

We usually hear stories of the opposite where you for example a girl in tracksuits, dyed hair, harsh voice sits next to you on the bus with her kids and you think she must be scamming the welfare system only to learn she's getting actually going to DIT to get a degree that will lift her out of poverty (True story by the way).

Seldom do we hear about stories where you meet someone nice and cute only to learn that they tried to strangle their brother/sister to death in their youth. I know this scenario happens a lot in relationships with women and abusive men but I'm wondering if you've had this unfortunate experience with any friends, peers, teachers.

I've judged you to be a sh1tehawk based on this post. Let's see how that goes.

Samaris · 15-06-2017 8:47am

Mod: Oy, Ciaran_B. How it goes is that you get eyeballed by a mod for making personal comments about posters! I'm presuming it was a joke, but knock it off there.

sbsquarepants · 15-06-2017 9:10am

jeanjolie wrote: »

We usually hear stories of the opposite where you for example a girl in tracksuits, dyed hair, harsh voice sits next to you on the bus with her kids and you think she must be scamming the welfare system only to learn she's getting actually going to DIT to get a degree that will lift her out of poverty (True story by the way).

Bit judgemental, no?

Funkfield wrote: »

Thinly veiled Leo Varadkar thread

This fÃºcker keeps surprising me.
First, he went under my gaydar, I'm straight so probably not that big a deal but it thought it was more finely tuned.
But secondly, I was actually shocked to hear he was a bloody Indian - I thought he was eastern European of some sort!

Basically we have a member of the village people running the country and somehow the bastard snook up on me!:D

The Diddakoi · 15-06-2017 9:15am

Rolf Harris

Senna · 15-06-2017 9:40am

Sure who hasn't played tennis with a burning cat, grand bunch of lads

Widdershins · 15-06-2017 11:28pm

No, I tend to see through the sycophantic, ingratiating stuff that others fall for.

15-06-2017 11:37pm

I tend to give people a good bit of leeway since none of us are perfect. Everyone lets others and themselves down sometimes, I know I've been disappointed in myself plenty of times and haven't always behaved perfectly, so it would be hypocritical to expect others to never do the same. I'd start off positively with most people, and it would take fairly consistently adverse behaviour or opinions for me to write someone off.

There'll always be people I don't warm to, but it's probably more of a failing of mine than theirs and it doesn't necessarily mean I think they're a-holes.

Arghus · 16-06-2017 1:08am

The odd time the better angels of my nature make me suppress that gut instinct feeling I usually get about whether someone is an arsehole or not. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt at first, but sometimes d'ya ever just get that feeling that someone's a dickhead - it turns out to be right an awful lot!

Outlaw Pete · 16-06-2017 1:20am

I remember watching those Naked Gun movies and thinking that black fella looks like he'd be good fun to be around.

Have you ever judged someone positively only to find out they're an as*hole?

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