Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

in need of a poop

Options
  • 09-07-2020 7:49pm
    #1
    GMCED
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭


    Sitting outside rotunda hospital waiting for my wife to go to the delivery ward, not allowed in till I get a phone call that shes just about to give birth... thing is i suffer with IBS ... where do I go to the bathroom when places close, as security guard will not allow me inside the hospital until called ?????


«1

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    unhappys10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭unhappys10


    Into your hand and then fire it at the security guard


  • Options
    #3
    Limpy
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 1,105 ✭✭✭Limpy


    Turn on your ringer near him and pretend you got the call


  • Options
    #4
    Man with broke phone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,201 ✭✭✭Man with broke phone


    I poop at 6 am every morning, its ghost form leaves no need to wipe. I check this by wiping I'm not a heathen. If you remove two or three metres of your intestine yourself you will probably never need to poop again.


  • Options
    #5
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,057 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    At a hospital with a medical condition, asks for help in AH.

    Checks out...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Options
    #6
    Wesser
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    Get yourself a nappy?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    AndrewJRenko
    Registered Users Posts: 28,468 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    It's probably a bit embarrassing, but if you beg the security guy, or get him to get a nurse that you can beg, they will probably let you through.

    Technically, you are entitled to any 'reasonable accommodation' to accommodate any disability, but it's probably not the time to be quoting the law at people.


  • Options
    #8
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    Pubs are open. Just stroll in.


  • Options
    #9
    Jack Imhoff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Jack Imhoff


    Ask one of the 9 months pregnant lasess outside the main entrance having a fag and can of red bull if you can borrow the can when they're finished...


  • Options
    #10
    cdeb
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 7,156 Mod ✭✭✭✭cdeb


    Anyone who uses the word "poop" should have something stuck forcefully up their hole till the ****e comes flying out.

    Two birds with one stone there. You're welcome.


  • Options
    #11
    GMCED
    Registered Users Posts: 26 ✭GMCED


    If that's what your into who am I to argue... each to their own


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users Posts: 3,683 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    Thinly veiled, 'I had sex 9 months ago' thread.

    Stop showing off OP.


  • Options
    #13
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,560 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Head to Centra around the corner, purchase a 4 pack of toilet roll and ask for a plastic bag when you’re paying.

    Leg it back to the car, double time, push the driver’s seat forward, place the plastic bag, open, on the floor behind the seat and just “dump” into that.

    Now, use the bog roll to clean up and “ditch” the bag into a nearby bin, skip or a discreet corner.

    To be honest, you should really have these “supplies” in the boot at all times.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Options
    #14
    hynesie08
    Registered Users Posts: 9,705 ✭✭✭hynesie08


    Go for a pint and some spicy wings, if the parnell is open you're only 30 seconds away


  • Options
    #15
    Jack Imhoff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Jack Imhoff


    hynesie08 wrote: »
    Go for a pint and some spicy wings, if the parnell is open you're only 30 seconds away

    He's better off shítting in the street than going in there


  • Options
    #16
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    cdeb wrote: »
    Anyone who uses the word "poop" should have something stuck forcefully up their hole till the ****e comes flying out.

    Two birds with one stone there. You're welcome.

    Leave it to a Chess mod to bring some class to the thread.


  • Options
    #17
    Jack Imhoff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭Jack Imhoff


    Your Face wrote: »
    Leave it to a Chess mod to bring some class to the thread.

    He's the Sebastian Feller of this thread.....
    :P


  • Options
    #18
    Ted_YNWA
    Registered Users Posts: 71,799 ✭✭✭✭Ted_YNWA


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Head to Centra around the corner, purchase a 4 pack of toilet roll and ask for a plastic bag when you’re paying.

    Leg it back to the car, double time, push the driver’s seat forward, place the plastic bag, open, on the floor behind the seat and just “dump” into that.

    Now, use the bog roll to clean up and “ditch” the bag into a nearby bin, skip or a discreet corner.

    To be honest, you should really have these “supplies” in the boot at all times.



    Listen to Emmet, he is the "pro" in this topic.


  • Options
    #19
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Get a horse costume and start trotting around saying neeeiiiggggghhhhhhh and let loose. Nobody ever questions a horse pooping whilst trotting.


  • Options
    #20
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    It’s tough for a lad caught short these days. No high footing it into the local McDonalds for a McShíte (or a SuperShïte in Galway).


  • Options
    #21
    cdeb
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 7,156 Mod ✭✭✭✭cdeb


    Your Face wrote: »
    Leave it to a Chess mod to bring some class to the thread.
    You're welcome :)


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Truthvader
    Registered Users Posts: 1,826 ✭✭✭Truthvader


    What a delightful thread


  • Options
    #23
    TuringBot47
    Registered Users Posts: 991 ✭✭✭TuringBot47


    Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »
    At a hospital with a medical condition, asks for help in AH.

    Checks out...

    You've obviously never been to the Rotunda as a male.
    They're as welcome as a rat in a tampon factory.
    I paid extra for us to be semi private, still stuck with 6 in a room on the 3rd floor and I had to go down to the ground floor for a men's toilet every time.

    That's in non corvid times.


  • Options
    #24
    Man with broke phone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,201 ✭✭✭Man with broke phone


    TuringBot47 wrote: »
    You've obviously never been to the Rotunda as a male.
    They're as welcome as a rat in a tampon factory.
    I paid extra for us to be semi private, still stuck with 6 in a room on the 3rd floor and I had to go down to the ground floor for a men's toilet every time.

    That's in non corvid times.

    Everytime? Could you not have gone before you left. There is one mens toilet in the whole place and you clogged it up everytime you went there?

    How many kids have you got, how much of a backlog did you create in the place over the years?


  • Options
    #25
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,029 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    Can you just text your inconsiderate wife and tell her to hurry the hell up and get crowning.

    To thine own self be true



  • Options
    #26
    TuringBot47
    Registered Users Posts: 991 ✭✭✭TuringBot47


    Man with broke phone wrote: »
    Everytime? Could you not have gone before you left. There is one mens toilet in the whole place and you clogged it up everytime you went there?

    You obviously don't realise you don't just visit your wife for an hour in a maternity ward and head home...
    Or just check her in when she starts labour.

    Your ignorance and lack of life experience lets you down there.


  • Options
    #27
    Man with broke phone
    Registered Users Posts: 1,201 ✭✭✭Man with broke phone


    TuringBot47 wrote: »
    You obviously don't realise you don't just visit your wife for an hour in a maternity ward and head home...
    Or just check her in when she starts labour.

    Your ignorance and lack of life experience lets you down there.

    I've had four kids, used the toilet in there maybe twice.


  • Options
    #28
    TuringBot47
    Registered Users Posts: 991 ✭✭✭TuringBot47


    Man with broke phone wrote: »
    I've had four kids, used the toilet in there maybe twice.

    You do come across as quite constipated.
    You've obviously forgot how they ramp up the temperature for the babies so everyone drinks more water. Sounds like you weren't there all day a few days in a row either.


  • Options
    #29
    Gemancy
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭Gemancy


    unhappys10 wrote: »
    Into your hand and then fire it at the security guard

    :pac:


  • Options
    #30
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Do you have a Pringles tube handy, OP?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    Sheep Shagger
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 6,246 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sheep Shagger


    Ilac Centre
    Jury's
    Woolshed Pub

    All within ****ting distance.

    Unless you are American, it's a ****e or dump you need.


Advertisement