Hi guys, long time poster, but with some of my previous posts prefer to keep these ones anon.
I'm a father of an amazing beautiful baby,toddler at this stage, girl. Due to me not wanting to be with the mother it's meant that my time with my daughter has been limited, not only as she lives quite a bit away from me but also as the mom hasnt made it easy, I'd to bring her to court. That aside, my query and maybe more so word vomit is around dealing with the aspect of being apart from my daughter.
As court has given me a staged increase in time which will again increase shortly I've been able and allowed grow and develop a relationship and bond with my daughter, while I am ecstatic about that it brings its pains. Bringing her back after only a few hours, returning home to an empty house with her toys thrown around leaves me feeling not only lonely, but as if a part of me is missing. Coupled with anxiety and the person I was dating leaving due to other people's interference has made this all feel a bit worse.
I've spoken to friends, family and a therapist and I do try to keep active especially the day after being with my daughter, but while the physical loneliness may subside that feeling of something missing never goes away and I dont think it ever will and that scares me. I dont know how to deal with it. I catch myself looking at pics/vids of my daughter or wanting to reach out to the girl I'd been dating which just sounds unhealthy(I dont think that relationship should have eneded btw). I like having certainty in my life and this unknown feeling is very uncomfortable.
I dont expect answers or fixes in replies, I suppose just someone maybe to tell me it gets better, easier. Are these things that cant be forced or fixed and just have to leave it to life to sort out? Anyway, thanks for reading.