Would you tolerate drug use in an SO?

noubliezjamais · 01-07-2019 11:23am #1

I wonder with all the coke use rising in Ireland, have the attitudes towards other drugs besides alcohol shifted for people in relationships, families.

Would you be okay with it or is it dealbreaker?

Dravokivich · 01-07-2019 11:26am

In a what?

AustinLostin · 01-07-2019 11:28am

Depends on how much and how often obviously.

01-07-2019 11:30am

Dravokivich wrote: »

In a what?

Significant other.

c.p.w.g.w · 01-07-2019 11:32am

psychedelics seem to be much better drug experience

antix80 · 01-07-2019 11:33am

I wouldn't get involved with someone who did drugs like cocaine whether for friendship or a relationship. Just looking for trouble.

noubliezjamais · 01-07-2019 11:44am

antix80 wrote: »

I wouldn't get involved with someone who did drugs like cocaine whether for friendship or a relationship. Just looking for trouble.

You worried about stealing? I understand what you mean in all fairness. One of my mothers 30yr old friends from Uganda got with this 26yr old Irish/Polish girl. She was a big party head but a nurse and pretty intelligent so he didn't mind.

Always asked for some little money here and there. Turns out she developed a coke/benzo addiction and used some before going to work. When he stopped paying her and went back for a two week holiday, he came back to find the place burgled and the wife gone.

Eventually got arrested and a conviction.

NIMAN · 01-07-2019 11:49am

Not an issue with OH or a SO as you call them op, but some friends and acquaintances I have known over the years would be regular cannabis users, and to be honest you'd know it from their general demeanour.

Some are stoners who have made nothing of their lives, and others seem to need that fix to function.

If the OH was such a person, we wouldn't be together.

antix80 · 01-07-2019 11:55am

noubliezjamais wrote: »

You worried about stealing?

Not just stealing. Financial problems caused by drug use. Risk to me of being attacked during an episode of drug-induced psychosis. The person causing embarrassment by doing things "out of character" while under the influence. Health problems caused by drug use. Mental health issues. Getting in trouble with the law for drug possession. The circles said person may be associating with.

One eyed Jack · 01-07-2019 12:00pm

As long as they were willing to share and didn’t keep all the drugs to themselves.

noubliezjamais · 01-07-2019 12:24pm

NIMAN wrote: »

Not an issue with OH or a SO as you call them op, but some friends and acquaintances I have known over the years would be regular cannabis users, and to be honest you'd know it from their general demeanour.

Some are stoners who have made nothing of their lives, and others seem to need that fix to function.

If the OH was such a person, we wouldn't be together.

Have they gotten in trouble for posession? Caught in a sting for dealing?

Funny how I know more "functional" alcohol/benzo/coke users than I do stoners despite the former being way more addictive (if it all) than weed.

Would drugs like benzos, GHB, morphine be an issue?

Jimmy Bottlehead · 01-07-2019 4:47pm

Not anything risky, serious or regular. I have some leeway for using *some substances* in a manner to grow and develop, but someone doing lines in the jacks on a weekend? No thanks.

I was dating someone last year I'd told the above to, and who'd told me she had tried various things in the past, but didn't do them any more. Then she went and did speed out of the blue and was in bits for a few days. I ended it a few weeks after. Just not my kinda gal.

Same view on drinking. I dated someone in the past who arguably had a problem with alcohol. Again, just not my thing in a partner and something I was wary of afterwards.

Each to their own though, and I'm sure I'd be a dry ****e to people who do like to use or drink heavily or regularly.

NIMAN · 02-07-2019 12:33pm

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Have they gotten in trouble for posession? Caught in a sting for dealing?

Funny how I know more "functional" alcohol/benzo/coke users than I do stoners despite the former being way more addictive (if it all) than weed.

Would drugs like benzos, GHB, morphine be an issue?

???

No, no-one caught. Nor got in trouble.

But some people I know still blast away at the weekends in their late 40s. I just think its a bit sad. Its grand when you are in your 20s and out partying etc, but when you are 25 years past that point, you're just a stoner for me.

Wanderer78 · 02-07-2019 12:35pm

NIMAN wrote:

But some people I know still blast away at the weekends in their late 40s. I just think its a bit sad. Its grand when you are in your 20s and out partying etc, but when you are 25 years past that point, you're just a stoner for me.

Is it really 'grand' at any stage in life?

c.p.w.g.w · 02-07-2019 12:50pm

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Is it really 'grand' at any stage in life?

Could say the same for alcohol.

Although alcohol is drug that leaves you with a hangover. Never heard of weed hangover.

Sleepy · 02-07-2019 12:56pm

A bit of weed or a few drinks at the weekend, not a problem. Either to the point they cause problems, or anything harder and I'm a nope.

sbsquarepants · 02-07-2019 1:06pm

I have no issue with drug use per se, so long as it's under control. I believe all recreational drugs should be allowed, and that the excuse of being under the influence of drugs be banned upon pain of death. You are responsible for the things you do, sober or otherwise.

In the past I've been with women who were varying degrees of anti drugs and others who were out and out party girls. (The party girls are much generally much more fun to be honest)

I wouldn't tolerate an addict though - fúck that shít!

These days however, drugs hold very little appeal for me, I doubt I'd have much in common with someone who was still running amok.

Gimme A Pound · 02-07-2019 1:37pm

Yeah I do tolerate it once it's only a rare occurrence - music festival or the odd big event.

As a standard socialising thing though, nope.

theteal · 02-07-2019 1:44pm

I don't think I would mind the odd occasion of bit of weed but thankfully mrsTeal is way too straight laced for even that. She's a critical care nurse who has seen the damage first hand that the likes of coke does so there's nothing for me to tolerate, it's just a non-starter on that front. A couple of martinis is about the extent of it. . .

. . .now how she tolerates me is a different matter!

noubliezjamais · 02-07-2019 4:07pm

theteal wrote: »

I don't think I would mind the odd occasion of bit of weed but thankfully mrsTeal is way too straight laced for even that. She's a critical care nurse who has seen the damage first hand that the likes of coke does so there's nothing for me to tolerate, it's just a non-starter on that front. A couple of martinis is about the extent of it. . .

. . .now how she tolerates me is a different matter!

Do you mean deaths, heart problems, psychosis....

What about the likes of legal drugs (benzos, codeine, hydrocodone)

riffmongous · 02-07-2019 4:15pm

Interesting question to think about it since it never came up before.. but no I wouldn't. Neither would I want to be with someone who drinks excessively either. I don't mind it in friends to a point, but I don't want a partner who is in an altered state (more than I am in the case of drink)

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 02-07-2019 4:22pm

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Do you mean deaths, heart problems, psychosis....

What about the likes of legal drugs (benzos, codeine, hydrocodone)

Legal or not, if somebody is dependent on a drug then it's a deal breaker.

noubliezjamais · 02-07-2019 5:45pm

Anabelle Colossal Goalpost wrote: »

Legal or not, if somebody is dependent on a drug then it's a deal breaker.

Interesting response. Would you say it's an Irish thing (being more conservative with drug culture than mainland Europe; Portugal, Netherlands) or do you think that constant recreational drug use is something that is generally looked down upon in nearly every society?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 02-07-2019 8:00pm

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Interesting response. Would you say it's an Irish thing (being more conservative with drug culture than mainland Europe; Portugal, Netherlands) or do you think that constant recreational drug use is something that is generally looked down upon in nearly every society?

I don't think it's an Irish thing. There's certainly more conservative areas in Europe. Bavaria for one. I have no problem with recreational use regarding lighter drugs, whether that's only at the weekends, monthly or daily. Not a fan of hard drugs at all.

noubliezjamais · 02-07-2019 11:03pm

Anabelle Colossal Goalpost wrote: »

I don't think it's an Irish thing. There's certainly more conservative areas in Europe. Bavaria for one. I have no problem with recreational use regarding lighter drugs, whether that's only at the weekends, monthly or daily. Not a fan of hard drugs at all.

To be fair, even things like weed can cause psychosis. I was talking to a nurse who said that she threatened to kick her son out for weed/shrooms even though he was performing well/had a part time job and his mates in college used it fine because she saw a lad come in for drug psychosis.

03-07-2019 12:31am

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Do you mean deaths, heart problems, psychosis....

What about the likes of legal drugs (benzos, codeine, hydrocodone)

Whatever about codeine and the other one..benzos are worse than half the illegal drugs out there..

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 03-07-2019 4:02pm

noubliezjamais wrote: »

To be fair, even things like weed can cause psychosis. I was talking to a nurse who said that she threatened to kick her son out for weed/shrooms even though he was performing well/had a part time job and his mates in college used it fine because she saw a lad come in for drug psychosis.

I'm not sure if you quoted the correct person or not but I never claimed otherwise

magic_murph · 11-07-2019 5:11pm

NIMAN wrote: »

Not an issue with OH or a SO as you call them op, but some friends and acquaintances I have known over the years would be regular cannabis users, and to be honest you'd know it from their general demeanour.

Some are stoners who have made nothing of their lives, and others seem to need that fix to function.

If the OH was such a person, we wouldn't be together.

A loser is a loser with or without canabis. Just so happens that loser smoked a little weed.

Crock Rock · 11-07-2019 5:13pm

I would see no issues with occasional cannabis use whatsoever.
It's no different to altering your mind with alcohol.

magic_murph · 11-07-2019 5:13pm

antix80 wrote: »

Not just stealing. Financial problems caused by drug use. Risk to me of being attacked during an episode of drug-induced psychosis. The person causing embarrassment by doing things "out of character" while under the influence. Health problems caused by drug use. Mental health issues. Getting in trouble with the law for drug possession. The circles said person may be associating with.

Just a tad dramatic there. You have people that are easily addicted to things - food, coffee, sex, drugs etc
where as a large % of people can enjoy all forms of drugs on a recreational leve; and have zero dependency on said drug (excluding the real physically addictive drugs like heroin etc)

noubliezjamais · 11-07-2019 7:39pm

magic_murph wrote: »

A loser is a loser with or without canabis. Just so happens that loser smoked a little weed.

I think the reason why people think drugs make people stupid/losers is because many times, people with emotional, financial difficulties can turn to drugs to self-medicate and spend all their time/cash on it.

There are plenty of functioning businessmen/doctors who use drugs but for obvious reasons, there's a stigma against admitting it. Not every opiate addict is homeless living on a cardboard box.

magic_murph · 12-07-2019 8:39am

Recreational use I'm all for but when anything leans toward addiction that's where problems comes as you don't really know how far somebody would go to get that fix be it from drugs, gambling, eating etc - the mind is a powerful thing and a desperate addict will justify nearly all actions.

I think the majority of all drugs, if taken in a controlled situation and the drug is of the highest quality (not mixed to death with dog knows what) then the user is in a safe place to enjoy a bit of escapism.

High quality / clean drugs mixed with education and an understanding of what the impacts are etc would go along way to reduce the stigma and dangers around drug use.

noubliezjamais · 13-07-2019 10:19pm

magic_murph wrote: »

Recreational use I'm all for but when anything leans toward addiction that's where problems comes as you don't really know how far somebody would go to get that fix be it from drugs, gambling, eating etc - the mind is a powerful thing and a desperate addict will justify nearly all actions.

I think the majority of all drugs, if taken in a controlled situation and the drug is of the highest quality (not mixed to death with dog knows what) then the user is in a safe place to enjoy a bit of escapism.

High quality / clean drugs mixed with education and an understanding of what the impacts are etc would go along way to reduce the stigma and dangers around drug use.

So something like benzos, opiates?

I wonder, is this the majority opinion in Ireland or not? It would be interesting to see the age demographics. My parents are African and are about 50yrs old so they are naturally very much against drug use. Even things like medications.

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 8:54pm

Nope total deal breaker for me.

Relationships are hard enough work without that nonsense thrown in on top of it.

noubliezjamais · 14-07-2019 8:58pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Nope total deal breaker for me.

Relationships are hard enough work without that nonsense thrown in on top of it.

Would you tolerate alcohol use?

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 8:59pm

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Would you tolerate alcohol use?

Only in moderation.

Arrival · 14-07-2019 9:12pm

I'd be happy with someone who'd consume only on special occasions such as festivals or cool events, either here at home or abroad, but I wouldn't like to be with someone who does any drug frequently (but I don't judge anyone who does do this, I completely understand why people do them) because I feel like this shifts them from being something that occasionally enhances a good life to being something considered kind of necessary for a good life.

It's quite sad seeing some of the closed minded judgements from people who are clearly ignorant on the topic of recreational drugs on here though. I I understand why people look at consumers negatively because many of them happen to be total degenerate wasters, and unfortunately these are the most vocal ones who are blatant about their usage. But if you do a bit of research and take the time to consider why people actually consume recreational drugs instead of basing your opinion on them solely off of the 'wasters' you'll learn that they really can improve your overall life and yourself as an individual, or as a couple. MDMA/ecstasy is a perfect example of this. Lots of people think it's some insane, horrible and scary drug but the reality is it's one of the safest recreational drugs one can consume provided it is pure and clean and one takes normal, safe doses. People who eat pills and don't take a few months off between using it are doing it all wrong. But if you enjoy it responsibly and maturely you'll have amazing experiences which will make you more understanding, accepting and empathetic as a person - changes which I've gone through myself. And these experiences are even better if you go through them with a partner. I really wish more people would open up to the idea of experiencing these things, it's genuinely a shame to go your whole life and not see what you're missing out on.

noubliezjamais · 14-07-2019 9:17pm

Arrival wrote: »

I'd be happy with someone who'd consume only on special occasions such as festivals or cool events, either here at home or abroad, but I wouldn't like to be with someone who does any drug frequently (but I don't judge anyone who does do this, I completely understand why people do them) because I feel like this shifts them from being something that occasionally enhances a good life to being something considered kind of necessary for a good life.

It's quite sad seeing some of the closed minded judgements from people who are clearly ignorant on the topic of recreational drugs on here though. I I understand why people look at consumers negatively because many of them happen to be total degenerate wasters, and unfortunately these are the most vocal ones who are blatant about their usage. But if you do a bit of research and take the time to consider why people actually consume recreational drugs instead of basing your opinion on them solely off of the 'wasters' you'll learn that they really can improve your overall life and yourself as an individual, or as a couple. MDMA/ecstasy is a perfect example of this. Lots of people think it's some insane, horrible and scary drug but the reality is it's one of the safest recreational drugs one can consume provided it is pure and clean and one takes normal, safe doses. People who eat pills and don't take a few months off between using it are doing it all wrong. But if you enjoy it responsibly and maturely you'll have amazing experiences which will make you more understanding, accepting and empathetic as a person - changes which I've gone through myself. And these experiences are even better if you go through them with a partner. I really wish more people would open up to the idea of experiencing these things, it's genuinely a shame to go your whole life and not see what you're missing out on.

I agree but tbf, you can't blame them. Selection bias means people see the worst of the worst. If people think of morphine/heroin use, the first thing they'll think off is a junkie sleeping rough on O'Connell street and not their grandmother being prescribed diamorphine (same thing just pharmaceutical) for cancer.

_blaaz · 14-07-2019 9:20pm

I assume illegal drugs is the question??

If it was regular drug use,probably wouldnt as just wouldnt be a good fit for my lifestyle....but occasional and in moderation let em at it

14-07-2019 9:25pm

Arrival wrote: »

It's quite sad seeing some of the closed minded judgements from people who are clearly ignorant on the topic of recreational drugs on here though. I I understand why people look at consumers negatively because many of them happen to be total degenerate wasters, and unfortunately these are the most vocal ones who are blatant about their usage. But if you do a bit of research and take the time to consider why people actually consume recreational drugs instead of basing your opinion on them solely off of the 'wasters' you'll learn that they really can improve your overall life and yourself as an individual, or as a couple. MDMA/ecstasy is a perfect example of this. Lots of people think it's some insane, horrible and scary drug but the reality is it's one of the safest recreational drugs one can consume provided it is pure and clean and one takes normal, safe doses. People who eat pills and don't take a few months off between using it are doing it all wrong. But if you enjoy it responsibly and maturely you'll have amazing experiences which will make you more understanding, accepting and empathetic as a person - changes which I've gone through myself. And these experiences are even better if you go through them with a partner. I really wish more people would open up to the idea of experiencing these things, it's genuinely a shame to go your whole life and not see what you're missing out on.

Dead right.
I’m a clinical pharmacologist and I agree with you completely. Most people haven’t the slightest clue what they’re talking about when it comes to the majority of recreational drugs.
The amount of misinformation and general ignorance out there is surprising (or not considering the state of personal health education in Ireland).

Obviously you don’t want an addict of any kind as a partner but people totally disregarding potential partners for some seldom drug use (while permissive of alcohol) is a tad flippant if you ask me.

Arrival · 14-07-2019 9:44pm

Batrachotox wrote: »

Arrival wrote: »

It's quite sad seeing some of the closed minded judgements from people who are clearly ignorant on the topic of recreational drugs on here though. I I understand why people look at consumers negatively because many of them happen to be total degenerate wasters, and unfortunately these are the most vocal ones who are blatant about their usage. But if you do a bit of research and take the time to consider why people actually consume recreational drugs instead of basing your opinion on them solely off of the 'wasters' you'll learn that they really can improve your overall life and yourself as an individual, or as a couple. MDMA/ecstasy is a perfect example of this. Lots of people think it's some insane, horrible and scary drug but the reality is it's one of the safest recreational drugs one can consume provided it is pure and clean and one takes normal, safe doses. People who eat pills and don't take a few months off between using it are doing it all wrong. But if you enjoy it responsibly and maturely you'll have amazing experiences which will make you more understanding, accepting and empathetic as a person - changes which I've gone through myself. And these experiences are even better if you go through them with a partner. I really wish more people would open up to the idea of experiencing these things, it's genuinely a shame to go your whole life and not see what you're missing out on.

Dead right.
I’m a clinical pharmacologist and I agree with you completely. Most people haven’t the slightest clue what they’re talking about when it comes to the majority of recreational drugs.
The amount of misinformation and general ignorance out there is surprising (or not considering the state of personal health education in Ireland).

Obviously you don’t want an addict of any kind as a partner but people totally disregarding potential partners for some seldom drug use (while permissive of alcohol) is a tad flippant if you ask me.

It's a shame because the information has never been more easily accessible than it is now, we all have phones and a simple Google search can bring up factual, unbiased information on drugs and their effects and if someone decides to experiment they can learn how to do it as safely as possible. We blame the lack of education on the topic in the country and to an extent that is valid criticism, but if someone is going to consume something then most of the responsibility lies with themselves to get informed and ensure they're being safe. At least until they are legalised and properly regulated so that contents and dosage instructions etc. are clearly included on the packaging.

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 10:06pm

Batrachotox wrote: »

Dead right.
I’m a clinical pharmacologist and I agree with you completely. Most people haven’t the slightest clue what they’re talking about when it comes to the majority of recreational drugs.
The amount of misinformation and general ignorance out there is surprising (or not considering the state of personal health education in Ireland).

Obviously you don’t want an addict of any kind as a partner but people totally disregarding potential partners for some seldom drug use (while permissive of alcohol) is a tad flippant if you ask me.

Not in the slightest it's a personal preference.

I find it's horses for courses with this stuff anyways; there's any amount of people of the opposite sex out there that you can drink and drug with if that's what you want.

14-07-2019 10:25pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Not in the slightest it's a personal preference.

Excepting the fact that any delineation between alcohol and “drugs” is entirely artificial and arbitrary.

Church on Tuesday · 14-07-2019 10:36pm

Batrachotox wrote: »

Excepting the fact that any delineation between alcohol and “drugs” is entirely artificial and arbitrary.

Like I said it's my personal preference. We all have 'em.

I drink in moderation and I'd expect the same of a partner.

I don't do drugs so naturally enough I won't be with someone who does, even on a recreational level, it's not something I could identify with and holds no interest for me personally.

People can do what they want with whomever they want and as long as they're not harming anyone else, I really couldn't give much of a toss.

is_that_so · 14-07-2019 10:40pm

Batrachotox wrote: »

Dead right.
I’m a clinical pharmacologist and I agree with you completely. Most people haven’t the slightest clue what they’re talking about when it comes to the majority of recreational drugs.
The amount of misinformation and general ignorance out there is surprising (or not considering the state of personal health education in Ireland).

Obviously you don’t want an addict of any kind as a partner but people totally disregarding potential partners for some seldom drug use (while permissive of alcohol) is a tad flippant if you ask me.

Well it is a choice about what type of partner suits you so people can do as it pleases them. It doesn't mean they are passing judgement on anyone else.

is_that_so · 14-07-2019 10:43pm

Batrachotox wrote: »

Excepting the fact that any delineation between alcohol and “drugs” is entirely artificial and arbitrary.

Choices don't have to be consistent and in relationships they rarely are.

Would you tolerate drug use in an SO?

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