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Venue being unreasonable?

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  • 06-06-2021 3:30pm
    #1
    Afroshack
    Registered Users Posts: 429 ✭✭


    Hi all! We are getting wed in October 2021. We booked our venue in 2019 so we’ve been basically unaffected by the pandemic. However, our hotel have started being unreasonable and I don’t know how much of a big deal it is.

    We asked to book rooms for the night before the wedding (so we could just wake up and get ready) They told us they had a policy of 10 rooms minimum (this is the night before the wedding, not the night of)

    They had originally told us that cocktails would be available at our wedding bar. Now they are saying no, that it’s too Labour intensive.

    Finally, we are not having a tasting menu until the month before (which I think is too late) and even then, it’s not a tasting menu but a sit down dinner where we can’t actually sample different dishes.

    Thoughts? We have already paid most of the money (had to pay 50% within six months)


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    #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,799 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Afroshack wrote: »
    Hi all! We are getting wed in October 2021. We booked our venue in 2019 so we’ve been basically unaffected by the pandemic. However, our hotel have started being unreasonable and I don’t know how much of a big deal it is.

    We asked to book rooms for the night before the wedding (so we could just wake up and get ready) They told us they had a policy of 10 rooms minimum (this is the night before the wedding, not the night of)

    They had originally told us that cocktails would be available at our wedding bar. Now they are saying no, that it’s too Labour intensive.

    Finally, we are not having a tasting menu until the month before (which I think is too late) and even then, it’s not a tasting menu but a sit down dinner where we can’t actually sample different dishes.

    Thoughts? We have already paid most of the money (had to pay 50% within six months)

    Just get someone to book a room for you.

    Re cocktail reception, what does it say in your contract?


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    #3
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Re cocktail reception, what does it say in your contract?

    Nope
    It might not be written down but if they were told the bar does cocktails they should serve cocktails.


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,799 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    antix80 wrote: »
    Nope
    It might not be written down but if they were told the bar does cocktails they should serve cocktails.

    I agree, but it's hard to insist if it was not written


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    #5
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,065 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    It's a while since my own tasting menu. I just went the month before for a starter and main, with herself. Date night. We had to pay for it too, it wasn't a freebie. We didn't ask either.


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    #6
    cant26
    Registered Users Posts: 578 ✭✭✭cant26


    Afroshack wrote: »
    Hi all! We are getting wed in October 2021. We booked our venue in 2019 so we’ve been basically unaffected by the pandemic. However, our hotel have started being unreasonable and I don’t know how much of a big deal it is.

    We asked to book rooms for the night before the wedding (so we could just wake up and get ready) They told us they had a policy of 10 rooms minimum (this is the night before the wedding, not the night of)

    They had originally told us that cocktails would be available at our wedding bar. Now they are saying no, that it’s too Labour intensive.

    Finally, we are not having a tasting menu until the month before (which I think is too late) and even then, it’s not a tasting menu but a sit down dinner where we can’t actually sample different dishes.

    Thoughts? We have already paid most of the money (had to pay 50% within six months)

    I'm struggling to see how they are being unreasonable? If 10 rooms is their policy well that's that. Just because it doesn't suit your numbers I don't think it's unreasonable.

    Having the tasting a month before the wedding is pretty standard I would think...we had ours about four weeks before the day.

    Tbh the only thing that could possibly be unreasonable in my eyes would be going back on offering a cocktail making service but to be brutally honest if that's your biggest worry after the world's biggest pandemic you're doing well! Maybe see if they can compromise with a really scaled back cocktail menu if you think it will affect your day. While you may think your day will be unaffected the truth is very little has gone unscathed after the last 18months. Best of luck with it all and hopefully a bit of communication will help the situation


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    #7
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,595 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    We had our tasting meal about a month before the wedding. I think that is pretty standard. They emailed us a menu about two weeks before that and we had to pick 2 choices from each course to try. We had eaten at the hotel before so picked dishes we hadn’t ordered previously. There was no charge for the tasting meal.


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    #8
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,299 ✭✭✭Gatica


    Every hotel does it different. We did a tasting a few weeks before, too. We paid for the meal, however, we did get a mini-meal of the starter/mains/dessert choices we wanted, so we could pick final choice based on the tasting. I do think though, some hotels do a tasting so you get an idea of the type of cooking they do, rather than a choice. It's the sort of thing that should've been agreed up-front. I hope they can accommodate at least some of your requests, but they don't sound entirely unreasonable; except for maybe going back on their word on the cocktails. As others have said though, it's the sort of thing that should've been in writing.


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    #9
    ec18
    Registered Users Posts: 2,702 ✭✭✭ec18


    Afroshack wrote: »
    Hi all! We are getting wed in October 2021. We booked our venue in 2019 so we’ve been basically unaffected by the pandemic. However, our hotel have started being unreasonable and I don’t know how much of a big deal it is.

    We asked to book rooms for the night before the wedding (so we could just wake up and get ready) They told us they had a policy of 10 rooms minimum (this is the night before the wedding, not the night of)

    They had originally told us that cocktails would be available at our wedding bar. Now they are saying no, that it’s too Labour intensive.

    Finally, we are not having a tasting menu until the month before (which I think is too late) and even then, it’s not a tasting menu but a sit down dinner where we can’t actually sample different dishes.

    Thoughts? We have already paid most of the money (had to pay 50% within six months)

    The meal thing is fairly standard, tasting menus are usually just to see the style and quality of the kitchen rather than taste a load of dishes to decide on what you want.

    eh cocktail thing wouldn't really bother me, I can see their point that after the last year and a bit it's not worth the time of having them for the profit they'd make. Like someone else said if it's not in the contract and you've paid 50% just move on


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    #10
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    Our tasting menu was about a month before. We didnt taste all the dishes but we chose the food we had intended to have on our wedding day. So we ate our wedding day meal. We didnt have to pay extra.

    The rooms. The only time ive seen a minimum requirement was when booking the night of my wedding as we got a certain number of rooms at a discounted rate. If your looking to book as some sort of group booking its not unusual for there to be a minimum requirement.

    The cocktails should be available especially if they told you they would be.


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    #11
    Derrick Rose
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Derrick Rose


    We decided on the menu and had a complementary meal 2 months before hand. Basically to decide if everything was ok. They gave us extra starters and desserts to try also. They also gave us a couple of different wines to try. To top it off we were also given a complementary stay as we didn't live nearby.

    The first time we visited the hotel we were treated to a free lunch to try the food, no obligation. Every time we dealth with the hotel they gave us great hospitality, including when we returned a year later for a complementary stay and meal for our 1st anniversary.

    We were given 10 rooms at a wedding rate on the night of the wedding and our room was on the house. They also kept some availability the night of and the night before for additional guests, confirmed a few weeks in advance. But no minimum numbers.

    At no stage did we have any problems with the hotel or feel like we were asking too much. Everything was looked after by the wedding team under the guidance of the general manager. Even when we felt stressed in the lead up to the big day the GM said "don't worry about any of that, we'll look after it". And to be fair they did everything and more. Truly exceeded our expectations.


    We don't have any connection to the hotel or the area but just wanted to share what our experience was, and what I feel everyone should have. And I don't know if everyone had the same experience in our venue or if we were just lucky. Don't know if I can name them directly but it's the hotel on the bridge in Tullamore.


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    #12
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    The meal tasting wouldn't bother me, unless you had agreed to something else.

    The thing about the cocktails is annoying, but if it's not in the contract, there's probably not much you can do about it.

    The thing about the rooms is bizarre. Is it only if you want a group rate for the night before and/or the honeymoon suite? If it's just regular rooms at the regular rate, surely you can just go ahead and book online like any other guests. Worth having a chat with them, as there could be a basic misunderstanding/miscommunication there.


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    #13
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,078 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    OP is the venue a country house (even one connected with a hotel)? If so, I can understand the rooms part. We looked at a couple of venues like that and there was a min number of rooms for the night before mainly because they were in the house part & there was a cost-benefit to them of opening it up the night before etc. However some did say that if we wanted to book rooms in the adjoining hotel - there was no min and we were welcome to do so.

    The cocktails bit is really annoying if it was something you were really looking forward to and had planned for. I'd check your contract but unfortunately if it's not in there, I think you'll have a hard time arguing it.

    As for the tasting meal - most people I know only had that a few weeks out from the wedding. And didn't get to taste everything either. The only couple I know who had it earlier was a special arrangement.


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    #14
    Afroshack
    Registered Users Posts: 429 ✭✭Afroshack


    Thanks for the replies everyone. The room thing was something they agreed with us verbally when we booked it initially. I had specifically asked if we could book rooms to stay the night before so the bridal party could get ready together the morning of. Only now post-Covid they have changed it to a 10 room minimum policy. So if we wanted to stay over, we would have to have ten people and pay for all the rooms at the time of booking, which I think is a bit scabby.

    Yeah the cocktail thing is disappointing as we normally love them and were really looking forward to keeping our personalized cocktail menus.


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    #15
    arrianalexander
    Registered Users Posts: 966 ✭✭✭arrianalexander


    What hotel doesn't have a book now , pay later option for rooms? Just do that for the night before.

    I'd be requesting a meeting with the wedding co-ordinator , not in a confrontational way but to re visit things coming up to the wedding. And insist things you all agree on are written down and added to the contract and signed off on.

    We did same thing, bridal party had rooms booked for night before, to get ready. We negotiated with the hotel and gave up something else in package in lieu of the rooms, but was added into the contract

    Everything was in our contract, speaking with other couples since this isnt always the case. That said we couldn't fault our hotel from start to finish but we were very clear from start we wanted things done right.

    Bear in mind, things have changed for everyone due to pandemic, thus why hotel may not be able to facilitate the cocktails, but all the more reason to meet in person and discuss the whole wedding again.

    best of luck with everything


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    #16
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Just book a room for the night before. And then move to the bridal room the day of.

    Cocktail thing is disappointing :( Gonna assume it is not craft cocktails you are asking for, probably quick to make ones? You would think the would want the extra money, cocktails are pricey afterall. What kind of cocktails are you thinking? Maybe they would agree to a limited menu e.g. mojitos and cosmopolitans only etc


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    #17
    Afroshack
    Registered Users Posts: 429 ✭✭Afroshack


    arrianalexander wrote: »
    What hotel doesn't have a book now , pay later option for rooms? Just do that for the night before.

    I'd be requesting a meeting with the wedding co-ordinator , not in a confrontational way but to re visit things coming up to the wedding. And insist things you all agree on are written down and added to the contract and signed off on.

    We did same thing, bridal party had rooms booked for night before, to get ready. We negotiated with the hotel and gave up something else in package in lieu of the rooms, but was added into the contract

    Everything was in our contract, speaking with other couples since this isnt always the case. That said we couldn't fault our hotel from start to finish but we were very clear from start we wanted things done right.

    Bear in mind, things have changed for everyone due to pandemic, thus why hotel may not be able to facilitate the cocktails, but all the more reason to meet in person and discuss the whole wedding again.

    best of luck with everything


    We tried. The website has that whole month blocked off on the booking form so I can’t book without ringing them and that’s where the “10 room minimum” nonsense comes in.

    I tried with the cocktail thing - firm no.


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