I always lose interest in sex

CrimeaRiver · 30-06-2022 4:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269597#Comment_119269597

You need to read my posts again

cezanne · 30-06-2022 7:41pm

I did and it appears you have problems with intimacy which is different from just having sex, maybe you are not into it. Best way to live for you is in two houses with weekends aways and fun every so often. Best of both worlds, thats how mick jagger lived with Jerry hall for many years

riclad · 07-07-2022 4:56am

If you want to continue this relationship I thing you need to go to a therapist , it sounds like an emotional mental problem, not a physical one. Everyone's different, like there's men who are married who simply can't stop having affairs , they get bored having sex with one woman. They simply cannot be faithful

Or certain people who constantly are having sex with different women, and getting them pregnant

Seems like Elon musk does not use condoms, he had 2 children with an employee soon after he broke up with grimes who has a child with him

Sometimes women really like a guy but they maybe have sex once a month

If you love the woman you, ll look for professional help with this problem

12-07-2022 11:14pm

Hi OP,

There is nothing "wrong" with you, this is so common there's even a name for it, the Coolidge effect.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

Most people, ime, trade off the attraction of sexual novelty for long term stability, but that doesn't mean you are wrong to not do so. I would reframe your issue, it's not that you lose interest in sex, it's that you lose interest in sex with your partner. They are very different situations. I remember reading that most relationships start off as two separate relationships, 1) the sexual attraction one which will rise like a rocket and crash, eventually, like a rock, and 2) the friendship/compatibility relationship that should ideally deepen over time. We don't see relationships in these terms though unfortunately, even though ultimately most of us drift into a "2" dominated relationship.

marilynrr · 23-08-2022 2:51am

I wouldn't agree or disagree that there's nothing wrong.

It's possible that there is more behind it. If it's distressing for the OP or going to **** up future plans such as marriage and kids, then it's definitely worth trying to delve further into this with therapy to see if this issue can be changed. Not all therapy is the same so it could be worth seeing a sex therapist (not sure how common they are in Ireland) or some form of therapy that isn't just you talking and them listening.

Of course if you don't want marriage and kids or to settle down long term then it's fine to just accept that this is how you are, however I will say that you should be honest upfront with any new women you are seeing, don't let them think there's likely to be a long term future, it's just not fair when you know that you have this pattern.

Loafing Oaf · 24-08-2022 12:30pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119508832#Comment_119508832

I don't think OP needs to give chapter and verse on this whole issue at the start of every relationship. IMO he should go into each one 'hoping against hope that this time it'll be different. So he only needs to come clean with a new partner if and when this problem starts to recur. If all men told the whole truth all the time probably hardly any relationship would get off the ground!

Hannibal_Smith · 24-08-2022 12:40pm

Given the OP hasn't been back since June, I'll close this one off.

OP if you need the thread reopened for further advice, please PM onenof the PI Mods and we can do that for you.

Thanks folks

HS

I always lose interest in sex

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