Does virginity shaming exist?

mr_fegelien · 07-04-2020 9:46pm #1

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

El Gato De Negocios · 11-04-2020 8:13am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

From my limited knowledge of the incel garbage they blame everyone else for everything so I wouldn't take what they say as a barometer for anything. "Virginity shaming" screams Porkys, American Pie et al is ie very much an American induced phenomenon. In my experience (I'm almost 41) I've never encountered any negativity surrounding virginity in either gender. Ireland as a society has largely moved on from the catholic mindset of no sex before marriage. Virginity is seen as a sign purity in some religions but that's a debate for somewhere else.

Never heard of the term "manosphere" but as it was mentioned in the same breath as incel then I can only deduce its another equally self pitying group of gobsheens.

colm_mcm · 11-04-2020 8:24am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere"

If you live in a space where those terms actually exist, then I have no doubt that “virgin shaming” is in there too.

In reality, nobody cares what you’ve stuck your knob into.

Coralcoras · 11-04-2020 8:28am

Not in my experience, no. If this does go on within a circle of friends or acquaintances, then I’d seriously reconsider who I spend my time with.

The chan chan man · 11-04-2020 8:30am

colm_mcm wrote: »

If you live in a space where those terms actually exist, then I have no doubt that “virgin shaming” is in there too.

In reality, nobody cares what you’ve stuck your knob into.

They might if they saw the absolute hack of my fleshlight..

rn · 11-04-2020 8:31am

I think it does, but spikes in teenage years and drops off quickly after that. Especially in 21st century Ireland and probably more so in Dublin, people are way more accepting of "whatever your into yourself".

eviltwin · 11-04-2020 9:39am

I'm an aul one and I've never seen it. I always thought the notion of virginity was a bit ridiculous anyway and makes sex more stressful than it needs to be. If you are mixing in circles where it's a thing I'd recommended finding new people to be around.

endacl · 11-04-2020 11:15am

Coralcoras wrote: »

Not in my experience, no. If this does go on within a circle of friends or acquaintances, then I’d seriously reconsider who I spend my time with.

OP only spends his time here though. It must be us.

Yellow_Fern · 11-04-2020 11:17am

Statutory Ape wrote: »

From my limited knowledge of the incel garbage they blame everyone else for everything so I wouldn't take what they say as a barometer for anything. "Virginity shaming" screams Porkys, American Pie et al is ie very much an American induced phenomenon. In my experience (I'm almost 41) I've never encountered any negativity surrounding virginity in either gender. Ireland as a society has largely moved on from the catholic mindset of no sex before marriage. Virginity is seen as a sign purity in some religions but that's a debate for somewhere else.

Never heard of the term "manosphere" but as it was mentioned in the same breath as incel then I can only deduce its another equally self pitying group of gobsheens.

It has happened here for years. It is pretty sick.

Yellow_Fern · 11-04-2020 11:18am

rn wrote: »

I think it does, but spikes in teenage years and drops off quickly after that. Especially in 21st century Ireland and probably more so in Dublin, people are way more accepting of "whatever your into yourself".

Not remotely true. Ireland is extremely conformist.

El Gato De Negocios · 11-04-2020 11:24am

Yellow_Fern wrote: »

It has happened here for years. It is pretty sick.

Thats why I said in my experience. Nobody can make a definitive statement on it, you may have witnessed it but what's to say that wasnt isolated?

GarIT · 11-04-2020 11:28am

It was definitely a thing in my secondry school around 2010 but never heard it once college started.

Yellow_Fern · 11-04-2020 1:20pm

Statutory Ape wrote: »

Thats why I said in my experience. Nobody can make a definitive statement on it, you may have witnessed it but what's to say that wasnt isolated?

Possibly isolated. I can only speak from my experiences but young men are under a lot of pressures and to be honest I so happy to be past that. It is horrible growing up in modern Ireland.

Girly Gal · 13-04-2020 2:44pm

It does exist in teenagers in secondary school but, drops off after that. Nowadays most people would assume everyone over the age of 21 has lost their virginity, although there would still be a small percentage of people who are still virgins, they would be unlikely to admit it.
I can't imagine a man in his late twenties or older admitting to being a virgin even if people suspected it as they would be ridiculed.
I think losing virginity does boost confidence as it's still seen as a major landmark to adulthood, so I'd imagine not losing it would probably affect a person's confidence.

iptba · 13-04-2020 4:51pm

I read some research before that heterosexual females tend to find more attractive men who other women are attracted to. So conversely if a man is known to be a virgin, it could make other women find them less attractive.

Of course, this is only one of lots of variables involved in attraction so it’s certainly not the case that a virgin can’t be attractive.

Anyway, it’s not something other people need to know except maybe if one is just about to have sex. So probably best not to mention it unless necessary.

IAMAMORON · 13-04-2020 5:06pm

It would definitely be a factor amongst teenage male peer groups. Any male getting more sex than others in a peer group would attain a higher social status, particularly as regards attaining any Alpha male qualities.

We do everything that Chimpanzees, Apes and Orangutans do, except we do it like humans, ignore the tree climbing it doesn't really count.

If you are the strongest most powerful male in a group you get the best pussy, it is a fact. Homosexual leanings will act differently, but such subsets will follow similar lines. For example, the guys with the best bodies and the biggest dicks get to ride the most ass, it happens.

Women that say they are not attracted to Alpha males are telling lies to try to prove a point to someone. Timewasters. Animations and traits invented such as " sense of humour" , " nice eyes" , " he is kind and caring" etc etc. This is bullshít which women invent to embellish the partners they are left with or indeed if their Alpha male partner is a phucking animal who everyone in the greater community is terrified of.

iptba · 13-04-2020 5:35pm

I very much doubt attractiveness is solely down to being the alpha. Also being an alpha as a teenager won’t necessarily translate to whether one is an alpha later if for example one doesn’t have a well-paying job.

IAMAMORON · 13-04-2020 5:46pm

iptba wrote: »

I very much doubt attractiveness is solely down to being the alpha. Also being an alpha as a teenager won’t necessarily translate to whether one is an alpha later if for example one doesn’t have a well-paying job.

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

iptba · 13-04-2020 5:55pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

I didn't say I doubted this couldn't be a factor in attractiveness, just that there are likely lots of factors.

I think any arguments you have might be more convincing if you didn't use "pussy" a few times in the post. To be honest, I think it's the sort of thing that gives men a bad name.

IAMAMORON · 13-04-2020 6:06pm

iptba wrote: »

I didn't say I doubted this couldn't be a factor in attractiveness, just that there are likely lots of factors.

I think any arguments you have might be more convincing if you didn't use "pussy" a few times in the post. To be honest, I think it's the sort of thing that gives men a bad name.

As I stated in my initial post women will tend to embellish their partner with cosy domestic traits when disguising their genuine reasons for attraction. For example a women married to a narcissistic international banker on a 6 figure salary who drives a BMW and has affairs.... will often tell her friends things like , " you don't know him the way I do" or " he has a great sense of humour" or " oh , he is really kind to animals" . The reality is that most wealthy international bankers are actually quite boring with no sense of humour , but they have loads of extra marital affairs and marry semi professional models.

Women that are not attractive enough to secure the most successful and wealthy partners will make similar excuses. But deep down they will be yearning to have a more successful and attractive partner.

My apologies for over use of the word " pussy" in my previous post, I was not hoping to be derogatory, although I do resent you trying to censor my language. It is hardly a barbaric word.

Eric Cartman · 13-04-2020 6:13pm

As a teenage as with every other facet of society - theres a lot of stupidity around it, for both genders .

After that its different though. Women who will let anyone throw the leg over are very popular in their teens and early 20's , that quality diminishes rapidly after that though , however in western society women that are virgins will be saugt by teenagers and men in their early 20's but after that falls off a cliff. Like honestly what 25 year old lad wants to get with a woman and do the whole rigmarole of waiting till she's ready and not knowing when you're getting it etc... I've yet to meet a woman over the age of 23 who's a virgin who didn't have serious issues that would have made them a nightmare as a long term partner. (protip - if a woman keeps calling men incels, she's probably in this category, usually its a projected insult)

For men I think its heavily confidence linked. I think there are pools of women in their teens and 20's who absolutely want the thing that everyone else wants and so will go for men with more experience or the perception of more experience. After the mid 20's definitely matters a lot less as they're looking for a partner for a more long term thing so its not as important if they're experienced or not. when its dating in your 30's as a man I think women are more on the lookout for those who don't want children or are afraid of commitment as wastes of time.

sheepsh4gger · 20-04-2020 12:06am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

Yes it does exist, especially among liberal NPCs programmed to say 'have sex incel' as a response to everything.

I would advocate for virginity because of the diseases women carry ever since dating app got popular.

I'm not a 'true-cell' as I'm not a virgin but they make some valid points. Search for the 'atomic black pill'. Also if you're not chasing roast beef you make great art, I love the subculture:

Mister Vain · 20-04-2020 6:28pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Agreed, teenage standards morph into adult ones. For example a teenager with a motorbike or his own car will get more pussy than a quite teenager who is a maths genius. However in 5 or 6 years the maths genius is highly likely to be in a well paid job. He does however now have to compete against a much larger subset. So for example if the maths genius is below average height he may still struggle sexually as taller pussy will look to engage with taller maths geniuses, etc etc.

You are fully entitled to "doubt" the prerogatives of sexual selection. But every mammal on the planet practices it, that is a scientific fact. As a result Alpha males score the best pussy.. and lots of it.

Are you a teenager?

mr_fegelien · 20-04-2020 6:30pm

sheepsh4gger wrote: »

Yes it does exist, especially among liberal NPCs programmed to say 'have sex incel' as a response to everything.

I would advocate for virginity because of the diseases women carry ever since dating app got popular.

I'm not a 'true-cell' as I'm not a virgin but they make some valid points. Search for the 'atomic black pill'. Also if you're not chasing roast beef you make great art, I love the subculture:

Do people actually get tested for STD's before sex?

IAMAMORON · 20-04-2020 6:40pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Are you a teenager?

Why, do you want my phone number ?

sheepsh4gger · 21-04-2020 6:17pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Do people actually get tested for STD's before sex?

No, that's why there are posters about STDs everywhere.

Women on Tinder want to have sex only with the top 10% of men on the app. This means that if one of them gets a disease then everyone on the cock carousel has it.

Then the promiscuous women go to doctors who discover all these new diseases they don't even know even what to call them. They are also running out of treatment options as no drugs can handle these mutations.

It's really bad, but there's a double standard when it comes to criticizing women. God forbid someone points out they are whores and suggests personal accountability.

Wibbs · 21-04-2020 9:52pm

What the actual fuck have I just been reading? Between an apparent inability to refer to women as anything but "pussy", a woefully inaccurate take on the animal kingdom and the great apes, "cock carousel :rolleyes: and WTF is an NPC?? Jesus Christ, it reads like a bunch of adolescent Yanks* on the dafter end of the interwebs.

Clean this up and dial back on the imported third hand parroting of daftness, and maybe, here's a thought, use your own heads. You can y'know. Or basically, this gets closed.

*there's a too bloody large subset of American society found on the interwebs that's gone batsh1t crazy, from the 50+ "genders" eejits, the ChickThink(tm) to the BroScience(tm). The latter are obsessed with "alpha" and "beta" with a few other Greek letters thrown in for good measure and have near zero bloody clue what those terms actually bloody mean. We really don't want to be cogging from a culture that's fraying at the edges.

khaldrogo · 21-04-2020 10:18pm

No mature adult would shame you for being a virgin imo.

Some may find it odd or unusual, especially if you are 40+ but ultimately they won't care.

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've heard it as a complaint from incels and those in the "manosphere" that virginity is shamed in men while praised in women. Is this the case? Is there pressure for a man to lose his virginity.

Do you also think you need to lose it to be successful? Most male politicians, athletes, businessman seem to have a wife and kids which means they've had sex.

22-04-2020 2:29am

You should be ashamed of being a virgin if you think you are qualified to talk about sexual experiences with others. Otherwise, your chastity is your own business

skallywag · 26-04-2020 4:31pm

'Incels'?

What the actual fook like ...... ?

Wibbs · 26-04-2020 4:54pm

Let's not drag posts from elsewhere into this thread please.

Does virginity shaming exist?

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