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14-05-2020, 20:55   #31
Just Be Confident Bro
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Studies from Okcupid and the like have shown that women consider 80% of men to be unattractive. Unless you regularly turn heads when walking down the street, there is no point in bothering with online dating.
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14-05-2020, 21:08   #32
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Just look at the stats for some of these dating apps. Make of them what you will.

Men outnumber women on Tinder by 9 to 1.
So called “female-friendly” apps like Bumble have fewer than 20% female users.

Source
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16-05-2020, 01:30   #33
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Complete waste of time unless you're into the real heavy set ones.
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18-05-2020, 09:58   #34
Emme
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Originally Posted by LoughNeagh2017 View Post
I think you need to swallow the black pill, I was in your shoes once, now I am a 28 year old kisless virgin. There is a very high chance you will never find a woman and you need to prepare your mind for that. However maybe I am being too hasty, I don't know what you look like and your autism symptoms may be positive for dating for example a socialable personality but for men like me it is over, it never really began. Ugly men, high inhibition, unsociable personality, uncharismatic. If I got a girlfriend I couldn't cope with being around her anyway so I suppose my unsociable personality works against me and for me. I don't want a girlfriend because of the autism and I couldn't get one anyway because of the autism.
You seem articulate if a bit pessimistic. You are only 28, do not write yourself off. I hope that in a few years time you will think differently and that you will have a nice girlfriend, failing that some positive experiences under your belt. There is a sort of flip in the dating scene which happens when people turn 30 - up to age 30 women have the upper hand, after that men have the upper hand. You may not know it, but you are coming into your own. The important thing is not to get bitter about your lack of experience so far.

Perhaps you live in a place where it is difficult to meet women who appreciate quiet intelligent men. You might need to change job and move. There are women who appreciate intelligence and don't go for bombastic men but they are harder to find. There are women on the autistic/aspergers spectrum too. They hide it better but they might understand and appreciate somebody similar.

I know it's difficult at the moment with lockdown but a good haircut and grooming advice benefit most people. Nutritional advice can help too, the right diet can make you feel more positive and better about yourself in general.

Foreign travel is difficult right now but sometimes a visit to another country, being open to new experiences and putting yourself in a new environment can give you a new perspective.

Online dating is difficult for most people. Don't take it too seriously and when it get too much take a break and come back in a few months if that's what you want. I think it's better to meet somebody in a positive environment such as a sports club or through a hobby.
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18-05-2020, 10:28   #35
El Sueño
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Is it worth trying? Absolutely

You'll at least meet some interesting people. Might some of them be nutcases? Of course, but you're likely to meet some lovely people also. That's based on my own experience anyway.

Go for it
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18-05-2020, 11:15   #36
Potatoeman
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Get good photos and hit the gym. Your first message should not be ‘hi’, take the 2 mins to read the profile before you message. You need to make the time to be on these apps too, 30 mins in the morning and 30 in the evening then just message your matches.
Keep it light and easy at the start and try and meet up soon. It’s just a numbers game after that. Remember that there is something to learn from every failure, if your on the spectrum it might take longer to learn but you will learn.
Even being on those apps shows women in the same circles you’re single, so it increases options there too.
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20-05-2020, 12:06   #37
The Black Oil
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I'm new to it, only a couple of months. There's a lot of rubbish on it, lazy profiles, poor photos. I'm sure this is true for both men and women. There's spam such as escort profiles too. I've seen women give about about gym selfies, lads with their shirts off, etc, so perhaps limit those. Haven't had conversation with anyone yet, but it's such a weird time in the world at the moment it's hard to know how people are using it at all. Some very good profiles on it too, tbf.
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23-05-2020, 12:03   #38
Mister Vain
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I have to say there's no shortage of attractive well educated women on Bumble. However I always seem to match with women who I can't a make up my mind on. Like they will look great in the first few photos but then look terrible in the rest.
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23-05-2020, 13:02   #39
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I have to say there's no shortage of attractive well educated women on Bumble. However I always seem to match with women who I can't a make up my mind on. Like they will look great in the first few photos but then look terrible in the rest.
I've heard though that Bumble only has around 20% of women.
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23-05-2020, 13:16   #40
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I've heard though that Bumble only has around 20% of women.
You heard? You mean you read it five posts up.
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23-05-2020, 13:43   #41
Mister Vain
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I've heard though that Bumble only has around 20% of women.
Maybe it has, I dunno. I find it a lot better than tinder anyway, especially if you're in your 30's. Less time wasters on it.
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23-05-2020, 19:03   #42
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It varies, from my experience from years ago early twenties women were easy for the ride as i had my sh!t together (early thirties then) but women my age were a nightmare, all hitting a wall in terms of looks and desperate for a relationship/kids.

It's funny, you could tell some were really attractive in their prime and i'm sure a lot would've messed me over and not taken me seriously if we met in their prime, once their looks were gone it was like shooting fish in a barrel in terms of getting them out for a date but some were very masculine and you could tell they had an agenda.


Avoid women that have "dating with a purpose" in their bio. I also noticed a commonality in bios, those who had "not into one-night stands" , "not looking for fun" etc, were often the ones who were up for a one night stand on the first date.

Just my 2cents
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24-05-2020, 14:33   #43
Jimmy Bottlehead
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Originally Posted by Mister Vain View Post
I have to say there's no shortage of attractive well educated women on Bumble. However I always seem to match with women who I can't a make up my mind on. Like they will look great in the first few photos but then look terrible in the rest.
I found Bumble superior to Tinder in terms of intellectual compatibility; not to say there aren't loads of smart and/or well educated women on Tinder, but hunzos seemed to be more common on Tinder.
That may have changed in the year and a half since I came off the apps but it's unlikely.
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24-05-2020, 16:22   #44
Jimmy Bottlehead
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It's a waste of time unless you're above average in looks. I made a Tinder profile and I did everything right, interesting pictures of me, outside doing cool things, no selfies. I put effort into my bio.

My results? Three likes.

How come when I use my fake Chad profile, which is literally three selfies of a hot guy in his room, and a one liner about his height and interests, I get matches and likes with dozens and dozens of beautiful young women?

It's all about the FACE.
Well, what do you expect? To bag a 10/10 woman if you're a 4/10?

Sexual attraction is primarily based on reproductive prospects; you're moaning that the universe hasn't created the equivalent of investors putting a huge chunk of money into a start-up with, frankly, very poor ROI prospects. Why would they? Do you think the universe owes you genetic justice?

The fact you have a 'fake Chad profile' is enough to get me to tell any female I cared about to steer clear of you.

I know plenty of guys who don't look amazing, or don't have a huge intellect, or even have considerable physical disabilities, and they STILL make the best of themselves and end up with great partners.

You have what you have, in terms of looks, intellect, etc.
However, it's up to YOU to squeeze all you can from it. Crying over Chads or romantic / genetic inequalities will just hinder and stunt you, causing you to become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Own it.
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24-05-2020, 18:28   #45
Jimmy Bottlehead
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Lol at the delusion. If you are relying on online dating to get a woman then it's over for you. It might never have even begun. The only exception is if you're white and relocate to Asia. Then online dating might be great.

My advice stands, if you're average in looks don't bother with online dating, and please don't waste money on it. No amount of awesome profile pics of you doing cool stuff will make you more handsome. All that matters is the face. My experiment proves it.

Irl other factors like status and height have a role to play.
Mate, I already have a partner. We met through online dating. I also met PLENTY of other beautiful, intelligent, wonderful women while I dated.

With all that, plus your previous posts in mind, I'll very happily decline any advice you have to offer and would encourage any other gentleman to do the same.
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