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Teenagers home alone

  • 26-10-2020 12:27pm
    #1
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭


    So, I'm a single mum who works a night shift now and then. My daughter is 16 years old in a few weeks and son is 13 years old. I usually get somone to stay with them when I'm working at night but increasingly they are saying they don't need anyone and can stay home alone. We have neighbours they cud call in an emergency and family members 10/15 mins away by phone. Daughter is very sensible and wouldn't have people over or do anything she shouldn't. Would love some opinions please.


Comments

  • #2
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,187 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    Legally o believe a 16 year old can be left home alone and/or in supervision of minors, to me, I’d see no issue with it at all.
    Personally I was left to babysit cousins etc on my own from about the age of 14. My family knew I was sensible enough to do so and so you should be able to judge your own children the same way.


  • #3
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    Locker10a wrote: »
    Legally o believe a 16 year old can be left home alone and/or in supervision of minors, to me, I’d see no issue with it at all.
    Personally I was left to babysit cousins etc on my own from about the age of 14. My family knew I was sensible enough to do so and so you should be able to judge your own children the same way.
    As far as I know there is no legal age , ISPCC recommends 16 to be home overnight alone. We're close to that now.


  • #4
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    How mature are they? How trustworthy and how do they feel about being left alone? I wouldn't have any issues based on age alone.


  • #5
    starbaby2003
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 664 ✭✭✭starbaby2003


    Do you have neighbours close to the house you have a good relationship with ? The only problem I can see is given their ages your house might become a party house ! If they know someone close is keeping an eye out that might discourage that. Realistically only you know whether they are mature enough or not. I personally wouldn’t see an issue leaving a 16 year old on their own the odd night. Thirteen seems young though even with the older sibling.


  • #6
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    starbaby2003 wrote: »
    Do you have neighbours close to the house you have a good relationship with ? The only problem I can see is given their ages your house might become a party house ! If they know someone close is keeping an eye out that might discourage that. Realistically only you know whether they are mature enough or not. I personally wouldn’t see an issue leaving a 16 year old on their own the odd night. Thirteen seems young though even with the older sibling.

    I'd have no issues with parties yet as eldest is very introverted and it wouldn't be her thing. The 13 year old wouldn't have friends calling now with lockdown and on the dark evenings parents would need to be dropping them off so wouldn't worry about that. Could be an issue in the future though.


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  • #7
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    eviltwin wrote: »
    How mature are they? How trustworthy and how do they feel about being left alone? I wouldn't have any issues based on age alone.

    16year old is very sensible and trustworthy. 13 year old seems to have no problem staying home with her, he'll prob stay up on playstation half the night so maybe not a good idea on a school night .


  • #8
    Caranica
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,145 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    How about a camera for the door or a camera doorbell. My neighbours got one for the teens coming home from school (and being home an hour before their parents some days) and I've just got one for peace of mind and pesky couriers. You can see who's at the door without going near it. And you'll be able to check in too


  • #9
    GingerLily
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    Caranica wrote: »
    How about a camera for the door or a camera doorbell. My neighbours got one for the teens coming home from school (and being home an hour before their parents some days) and I've just got one for peace of mind and pesky couriers. You can see who's at the door without going near it. And you'll be able to check in too

    That's a good idea, see who's coming in and out of the house without spying on them inside the home!


  • #10
    LilacNails
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 672 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    WiseOldOwl wrote: »
    16year old is very sensible and trustworthy. 13 year old seems to have no problem staying home with her, he'll prob stay up on playstation half the night so maybe not a good idea on a school night .

    They would be ok. We were left at home at that age.

    We were only ever given 2 warnings. Do not open the door to anyone. And have the spuds on before the mother came home.


  • #11
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    At that age they would be fine to stay at home.
    Teeangers your daughters age have part time jobs and babysit kids for money, at 15 I was babysitting for a family who often wouldnt come home until 3 in the morning so I cant see an issue with them being alone at home for a few hours. Id just tell them not to answer the door or the phone unless they know the number.


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  • #12
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,202 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    They will be fine i am sure. Just give them a call once during the time you are away.

    You can get them junk food and they can stick netflix on.


  • #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I moved to the other side of the country to start college 3 weeks before my 17th birthday but I'm sure someone will come along and say they left their 16 year old alone and they burnt the house down. Only you know your children OP. If you have doubts then don't leave them alone but if you think they are sensible then see how they get on.


  • #14
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    Thanks all for the input. I also posted query on another forum.....majority seem to think it's ok, with some checks in place like neighbour close by etc. Peoples main issue is parties etc which is not an issue for me now but definitely could be as son gets older.
    I'm a bit of a worrier though so kids would probably be fine but I'll be in bits!
    I had 1 poster saying no way to leave them, all kinds of weirdos about and it was very irresponsible!


  • #15
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    Airyfairy12 wrote: »
    At that age they would be fine to stay at home.
    Teeangers your daughters age have part time jobs and babysit kids for money, at 15 I was babysitting for a family who often wouldnt come home until 3 in the morning so I cant see an issue with them being alone at home for a few hours. Id just tell them not to answer the door or the phone unless they know the number.

    It's more than a few hours...8pm to 8am.


  • #16
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    WiseOldOwl wrote: »
    It's more than a few hours...8pm to 8am.

    12 hours and they'll be sleeping for 8 of them. You know your kids better than anyone but as you said, theyre responsible and neighbours and relatives are close by if anything did happen.


  • #17
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    I was putting it in perspective for myself by thinking it's their own home, they couldn't be anywhere safer really.


  • #18
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,900 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    I actually lived “home alone” 5 days a week from the age of 16 until my college years. Was due to unusual circumstances - my dad worked up in Belfast 5 days a week, my mum had died tragically and suddenly and my two older sisters had moved out - one moving abroad.

    I was admittedly a bit of goody two shoes and I had to grow up very fast. I had huge support from friends of the family and neighbours so that was a huge help. But I had the self-discipline to get my schoolwork done, make my own dinner, get to bed on time and get myself up for school every morning. :)

    If you believe your 16 year old daughter is mature and responsible enough, I don’t see the problem. Society infantilises teenagers far too much these days IMO.


  • #19
    WiseOldOwl
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭WiseOldOwl


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    I actually lived “home alone” 5 days a week from the age of 16 until my college years. Was due to unusual circumstances - my dad worked up in Belfast 5 days a week, my mum had died tragically and suddenly and my two older sisters had moved out - one moving abroad.

    I was admittedly a bit of goody two shoes and I had to grow up very fast. I had huge support from friends of the family and neighbours so that was a huge help. But I had the self-discipline to get my schoolwork done, make my own dinner, get to bed on time and get myself up for school every morning. :)

    If you believe your 16 year old daughter is mature and responsible enough, I don’t see the problem. Society infantilises teenagers far too much these days IMO.



    Yes , in some cultures she could be married and running her own house!


  • #20
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    Caranica wrote: »
    How about a camera for the door or a camera doorbell. My neighbours got one for the teens coming home from school (and being home an hour before their parents some days) and I've just got one for peace of mind and pesky couriers. You can see who's at the door without going near it. And you'll be able to check in too

    I thought this was a very good idea. Not that I’d doubt your view of your kids - but they can come under a lot of peer pressure.

    I know someone who insists that her kids have an app turned on where you can locate their phone at any time (‘find my friend’, I think). Her bargaining chip is that she pays for their phones, and if they turn it off - they buy their own devices and pay for them and the bills. Again, I don’t mean that in a ‘you need to spy on your kids’ way, but it would provide you with reassurance, and as long as the 3 of you know about it, and what the rules are, I think it’s a good thing.

    I don’t have kids though, so maybe those ideas aren’t doable without the teens feeling that their privacy has been severely invaded


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