Engagement Ring - ladies perspective

16-06-2010 11:12am #1

Hi without trying to muscle in on ladies forum, badly need advice.
I am planning on proposing to my partner that have been going out with for number of years but am completely clueless about how to get a ring and where to go.

Any ideas on dos and donts, styles?
Not wanting to be a cheap skate but what should I be spending? dont want to go overboard as we have a mortgage and child and will have to pay for wedding too! but also dont want a piece of crap that will both be embarrassed over!!
not sure what kind of ring to get or where to go in south of the country.

any help however minute would help cos a little clueless

g'em · 16-06-2010 11:14am

moved from tLL

Posy · 16-06-2010 12:47pm

Perhaps you should just propose and then go ring shopping together? I'm very fussy about my jewelry (it could NOT be gold, for a start!) so unless you are very sure about her tastes, maybe let her choose her own. Or at least make sure the jewelers will take it back if it's not quite to her tastes.

tinkerbell · 16-06-2010 3:57pm

Do not buy the ring first. Propose first and then go shopping together. She'll have so much fun trying on different rings, etc. It'll be a great day out for you.

Also, don't waste money buying some crappy thing to propose with, like a cheap ol ring or whatever. You don't NEED to have some token to propose with just for the sake of it - "will you marry me" is more than enough! To me, wasting €100 or €200 on a token ring just so you have something to propose with is mad and could be better spent splashing out on an amazing dinner for the two of you to celebrate your engagement! Or you could put that money towards the actual engagement ring too, whichever!

Kooli · 16-06-2010 4:33pm

Well I disagree because I LOVE the fact that my fella proposed to me with a ring and I LOVE the ring all the more because he chose it.

So my advice is you should decide based on how well you know your girl. If she is MAD into her jewellery, or you think she has already put a lot of thought into what kind of ring she would like, or you've heard her comment on other people's rings, then you should wait and let her choose it.

If you think she would more value the idea that you chose it yourself, or if you think she would feel uncomfortable having to choose it herslef (worrying about the price or something like that) then you buy it in advance.

Only you know what she'd prefer.

birdofparadise · 16-06-2010 5:11pm

as kooli said i be inclined to be gauging how much you know your oh's sense of style. If you know what she likes then i would be inclined to buy her a ring.

I personally got mine made after my husband bought me a cheapy solitare dress ring as a token ring when we got engaged and while i loved the token of it. I hated the style. if his mother hadn't of stopped him he would have bought a real ring in the same style and I just would not have had the heart to tell him if had of got one for me.

We went shopping around dublin and got mine made and I love it.
If you are going shopping go to Irish Rubies on Marlborough st. i didn't use them for my engagement ring. ( i wish i did though after we got our wedding rings) They have been there for years and really are the best around and they will give you a great price as well. We got our wedding rings there in feb and for my wedding band set with diamonds and husbands band both in platinum it cost 1200, they made my band to suit to my engagement ring perfectly.
the shop is in a bit of a dodgy area, but I would reccommend paying them a visit.

terlywerly · 16-06-2010 8:02pm

+1 on letting a woman choose her own ring. A lot of women once they are proposed to with a ring (even if they hate it) will insist they love it, and will always feel that wee bit disappointed that its not their 'dream' ring. It may be possible to get an idea of what she likes based on the jewellery she already wears eg does she wear gold/white gold/platinum? Flashy or understated? Would she be the type of person that follows the latest fashions? Her hand size is also something to consider. Some rings simply look nicer on certain size hands (not insulting anyone but a solitaire on a large hand does not look as well as a trilogy or a princessa imho).
I have helped a lot of couples choose an engagement ring (I was a jeweller pre-recession) and its a great occasion, and the woman usually has a fab time trying them all on and modelling them in the mirror.
I personally would be on the side of 'shop together'. Ultimately being proposed to is the main thing though, the ring is just a bonus for us girlies!!
I have an 18carat white gold brilliant round 0.75ct solitaire in a 6 claw setting, set in a knife edge band. Absolutely adore it, but picked it myself!!

Bookkeeper09 · 17-06-2010 9:23am

I would also recommend letting her choose her own ring.
I got engaged last year. My OH proposed without a ring and we went shopping for it the following day! Was a lovely day out. Went looking for the ring and then went for a lovely dinner and drinks!
I had an idea of what I wanted in my head but when I tried on that style of ring it didnt suit my hand at all! Also I ended up picking out a diamond and then a setting and band from different rings and the jeweller put it together for me.
Had another great day out when we went back to collect the ring!

BC · 17-06-2010 11:00am

This topic has been done to death. If you do a search you'll find lots of opinions on whether or not you should buy the ring!

My own (female!) opinion is definately don't buy it. Unless you have a really clear idea of what she wants let her pick it herself. She's going to be wearing it for the rest of her life, it should be something she loves. Myself and my fiance went ring shopping together after he proposed and we had a great time. It was nice to do it together and celebrate the occasion, I would have hated to miss out on that.

The Cool · 19-06-2010 12:20am

OP it really just depends on the girl - some of us are hopeless romantics and love the idea of a guy getting down on his knees with a sparkler. Plus, as said above, I'd love it as something he picked for me. It's kind of the old-fashioned side of things. Only you can know.

mszylwo3bnaxg7 · 19-06-2010 1:09pm

Buying a ring without her input is risky. Would agree with not wasting money on a token ring- the proposal really is enough : )Think you mentioned the South of the country- got our wedding rings in askoy jewellers in Cork, very good value. Know a few peole who got beautiful engagement rings there and said they got good value.HTH

Martin lad · 19-06-2010 1:53pm

Think weddings are very Celtic Tiger; their all copy and paste. Have yet to see something truily original but havnt been to that many.
In relation to buying a ring I would spend more on the ring and less on the wedding. The ring will last forever, the wedding day will only last one day, have a wedding but just keep it small and simple.

Toots · 19-06-2010 8:53pm

If you're unsure of what sort of ring to get, why not get a costume ring to propose with and then you can both go shopping for the real one together. Work out what you can reasonably afford to spend on it, then tell the jeweler what that is. They'll be able to show you selections of rings to suit your budget.

FrancisF · 23-06-2010 4:07pm

I do not know a woman in the world that doesn't love to go into a jewellery store and try on rings. I can guarantee you that it will be a very special day.

Go into Appleby Jewellers they have one of the best selections of diamond rings I have seen anywhere in the world. They will let you take your time and choose the right ring for you.

Francis

artyeva · 02-07-2010 6:04pm

not sure if you got sorted OP, but i'd recommend the whole dummy ring for the proposal and then go shopping together and let her pick the ring out herself. have you thought about voltaire.ie? it's much more initimate and private than standing in a shop, and you both can take as much time as ye [she;)] needs... that's where we went and to be honest we got way way better value than any high street jewellers will offer you. basically 45% more value!!!!! i can give you more details by PM if you like

Always number 1 · 02-07-2010 6:42pm

From a female perspective, I had ALWAYS said I wanted a princess cut solitaire engagement ring. When my OH proposed he got me a token ring in that style to ask me with and while I will always treasure it, when it came to picking the real thing I went for something completely different - a white gold trilogy.
We were on a budget and looked all over and I ended up getting my ring in H Samuels and I love it - and it came in well under budget.
At the end of the day, its what the ring signifies that counts and not how much is spent on it.
Good Luck

Kimono-Girl · 02-07-2010 9:38pm

you don't have to spend loads on a ring either, My OH bought me one that had ruby and diamond stones in it as ruby is my birthstone, it means more to me than a big diamond ring and now its also something special i can pass on to my daughter later on as ruby is also her birthstone!

Orla_smile · 05-07-2010 12:29am

You shoudl do a small bit oh homework on diamonds, good videos on you-tube. A ring is a huge deal for women, we have to wear them for ever so really dont want the wrong one.
While a surprise can be nice i would recommend picking out one together.
Best of luck.;)

ninnyhammer · 05-07-2010 3:52pm

My OH proposed without a ring. He told me afterwards he was also in turmoil about whether or not to get the ring before hand or not. He's very traditional. I can honestly say, I was really delighted he didnt buy a ring beforehand and after the day in the jewellers so was he...:)

...we went to Applebys and I would never have thought there was such a thing as a ring suiting your finger but we got great advise there. They tried on so many different styles with me and suggested what did and didnt suit my finger. I really appreciated the honest advise. We were also able to take the wedding band into consideration, which helped in the long run.

I adore the ring and love the memory of the day we picked it out together.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!

booshy · 07-07-2010 11:06am

Personally I would have been really uncomfortable if I was asked to choose my own ring. I would suggest thinking about the different styles etc without being limited to a few trays in a shop. Highly recommend http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/ - brilliant website where you can design your perfect ring and see it in 3D (you can just play around).
For me, the ring is part of the romance and it reminds me that he probably knows me better than I do....
3 options:

You know your OH, take a chance
Ask her discreet close friend or sister
Leave it up to her entirely

Depends really on how romantic she is and whether she's expecting it

Engagement Ring - ladies perspective

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