Addiction

mr.jingle · 11-03-2013 10:54am

With the festival on the horizon id just like to post this up as with the influx of new people coming to the horse racing forum over the next week.

Ive no doubt in my mind I will not gamble this week but like most here I will be glued to the action. Ive organised a competition for the festival for friends to keep me occupied during the races and hopefully it takes off.

A couple of pointers as to what not to do this week.

Dont back beyond your means.
Dont go chasing losses
Look for value and search form
Write your bets at home and be in and out of the shop asap
Its a long week so dont go all gung ho on the first day and ruin the rest of your week
Dont post aftertiming winners or I will hunt you down personally and geld you!

Enjoy the week folks bet sensibly and hope yous bash the bookies

Huntley · 14-10-2013 2:03pm

How are you getting on with this jingle? Have you been able to keep things together for the most part?

mr.jingle · 17-10-2013 8:44pm

Huntley wrote: »

How are you getting on with this jingle? Have you been able to keep things together for the most part?

My God this seems like so long ago now!

It's been hard Huntley and i'd be lying if i said i haven't had bets because i have. Just going through the thread again and it's mad to think what I was like writing that post i'll never forget that day as it was the day after my birthday and we were all out for my birthday having a few sociables! I'll never forget that lonely horrible walk home and thankfully I haven't done anything so stupid since.

I have an online account set up in my dads name and he monitors it and it has a set limit of 20 euro each week and its usually just for the lotto numbers if we forget them but I usually do a couple of small bets for the big meetings or just on a Saturday afternoon when we are at home. He has control over the computer and i just give him the selections. Have had some very nice wins over the past few months with small bets and have been sensible in the sense that it's all been taken out and have put the winnings to good use instead of getting greed like the me of old and end up losing more!

I've myself barred from all the local bookmakers and haven't set foot in one in months. I did however find i was buying scratch cards and extra lotto lines just for the 'thrill' but have stopped that too.

Honestly though I can't believe the difference in myself and the family even say i'm happier as i used to get moody and lock myself inside my room and just do nothing.

The GA i didn't really relate too though, I got very bored of it very quickly and i wouldn't be the most attentive person in the world and some of the stuff went in one ear and out the out but wouldn't knock it as it has helped many.

All in all though Huntley i'm fine and all's well and hopefully it will stay this way!

Thanks for the concern

hucklebuck · 20-10-2013 11:06pm

Glad to hear you are on the right path Jingle.

cotswolds · 22-10-2013 1:08pm

hucklebuck wrote: »

Glad to hear you are on the right path Jingle.

Not sure he is on the right path Huckle. Sounds like it might be a slippery slope to me.

He is still gambling. A gambler is a gambler. If his circumstances were to change tomorrow and he inherited a large some of money would he still keep stakes small and are small stakes even relevant ?

Ask an alcoholic if he can keep drinking 2-3 a day and be confident it will not escalate. Ask a drug user if he can dabble weekly without jumping back in when the time is right or indeed wrong.

If the OP does indeed have a gambling problem then to continue to gamble in ANY way is a very dangerous if not deluded path to be on.

It's a behavioral problem and the behavior still exists therefore the fundamental lack of understanding the reason he chooses to gamble still exists.

Any action we take in life that is detrimental to our happiness is a source of not facing issues that are too difficult to face. This could be anything from experiencing a parental break up as a child or an experience of death or even an experience of personal abuse.

The question is why do something that you know makes you unhappy. It's usually to deviate attention away from something else that you either don't understand or don't want to process.

hucklebuck · 22-10-2013 6:09pm

Dunno how you can say he isnt on the right path Cots, he has gone from a very dark place to a place where he is having better days and interacting with people better, sounds like progress to me.

Sure he still has a way to go but he has made great progress and should be congratulated for it

mr.jingle · 22-10-2013 6:39pm

Completely understand where you are coming from Cotswolds and agree with what you say. I am playing a dangerous game I understand that but it is a dangerous game I feel I have control over.

The urges are still there like anyone else that suffered with an addiction but I feel inside myself that im not an addict anymore and have won big sums(to me, maybe not others) in the past few months but have learned from past mistakes and instead of chasing more winnings have learned to cut off while ahead and also when to quit when enough is enough and im losing money I cant afford(A position that was an almost weekly occurance).

This may not be what I or others envisaged would happen when I first wrote that post but I have come a long way in this time and it is a place I never thought I could reach if being honest, as I was totally lost at that time

valeriehogan · 19-06-2014 9:59pm

hi mr jingle, go to gambers amoymos .do 90 meetings in 90 days , bring a friend family member for support, even if there not an addict, untill your able to relax in your own skin , and members introduce themselves to u ,etc. eve

n at first you cant understand the.programme they have , keep going back andjust keep listening. I know gambers life style , but listen , start by being honnest with your self, and people that care about you. and do u and.yourfriends and.family a favour . Get that monkey off your back , once and for all . you will only keep making a ejet out of your self if.you dont get rid of the monkey. the real you is a good u. go to a night class get a bit off savy . stay out of bookies not even to give a message to amate in there for example or go to the toilet.drop your addiction friends and go have life beyond your wildest dreams. stick with the real winners thats the people at the meetings .they will restore you back to sanity . dont start doing what you usually do ,start to make up.excuses for the person that make upexcuses, are in fact big fat liars incapable of being honnest with them selfs wanting to live in fantasyland. you could have a great life if you not to allow yourself to in dulge in such stupid notions, of idle escapism. I helped a man justed like you before, to recover and he dif he now has 5 beautful kids and absolute gorgues baby girl something he always wanted.couple years ago he laughed at me told me hed never have any more kis but he went and sortef himself out met a girl and had kids. he has life beyond his wildest dreams.he recentlywent in to a casino , were once he was hooked but he felt nothing he said, I said thats because I said when he came.out u felt nothing because theres what u always wanted , the daughter you always wanted. give gou ur self a chance u go for it pet , discover what it is your really looking for , rember get the monkey of your back get to gambers anoymous, they will give you the direction you need lots of work ahead stick with it, best of luck

Soft Falling Rain · 22-06-2014 2:19pm

There's little worse than getting sucked into a gambling addiction. As the op said, it ruins every aspect of not just your life, but those around you. I've sat through weddings of friends in a fouler. I've ridiculously tried to reason a good case for missing a close family occasion. I've snapped at loved ones over days where I lost my bollox.

It's simply a horrible disease and one I can thankfully say I've mastered. What helped was as wexford alluded to was realising this was not what I wanted to do with my money, or my life.

Secondly I closed my online accounts as I just don't have the head or the discipline for it. I once arrogantly placed €400 on both teams to score in a Barce Atleti game, thinking it was "free money". The game finished 0-0. Worst sleep I ever had as I couldn't get over what I had done, and was something I'd never do in a shop. Unfortunately it took me a while to cop and close my accounts but when I did, a weight was lifted and I became a much happier person and better to be around. Best thing I've ever done in a lot of ways tbh.

valeriehogan · 22-06-2014 2:41pm

well done soft falling rain. proud off ya, life to short to be doing that. gamblers well I wont preach , but im delighted for u . u know im so glad I read your forum today,im fed up listening to half assed folk, that there giving up and then flop at the final fence.hope it all worksout for u now

mr.jingle · 10-07-2015 10:31pm

Haven't posted on boards for quite some time but just wanted to say thank you to all the people i've had interactions with on here over the past few years. As was said on this topic a few times I wasn't taking this seriously enough and that I should go cold turkey etc. Well just over 3 months ago I had a very serious relapse and almost done the unthinkable. Thanks to Pieta House, GA, some close friends, family it didn't turn out to bad as I have given up on this game and I don't know but something just clicked in my head and said this is just not for me. I'm off gambling over 3months and I'd be lying if i said i wasn't tempted to have one bet as i have been. I haven't done one. I haven't and I won't be doing one.

This is something I have drilled into myself and it has really settled with me suprisingly. I very rarely pop onto these pages or in fact boards itself anymore so maybe its time to close my account as i know if i do end up on here this will be one of the places i will go. I would just like to thank you guys and gals one more time for the tips, the laughs, the winners and losers it's been a blast. Just reading that first post brings a tear to my eye and the thoughts of that day and the many other similar ones is something i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Keep safe and stay betting within your own means take the advice of someone who has been there and done it. See ya's all in another boardsie life Mr.Jingle

convert · 10-07-2015 10:40pm

Total respect for you, not only for coming to terms with your addiction and doing something about it, but also for being strong enough to share here with us. Thank you. And best of luck with your recovery.

sdoc13 · 10-07-2015 10:44pm

convert wrote: »

Total respect for you, not only for coming to terms with your addiction and doing something about it, but also for being strong enough to share here with us. Thank you. And best of luck with your recovery.

Ditto. Always enjoyed your posts Jingle. Wish you all the best in the future. Hope you never have a punt again. Godspeed.

Gregk961 · 10-07-2015 11:06pm

Well done sir. You're first post was inspirational and hope it serves to help others in a similar situation. Best of luck.

Pearlstone · 10-07-2015 11:19pm

Mr J , your first post prompted me to register here to wish you luck. When I saw you were back posting and saying you were betting in a controlled manner I despaired for you. I did not post anything negative as you were in a better place and I did not want to jeopardise your improvement but I thought you were playing with fire. I now feel guilty that I did not post something earlier. There is no grey area here and thankfully you now seem to have arrived at that conclusion. I genuinely wish you the very best in the future. Fill your life with other interests and know that all of us here are fully supportive of what you have done. Stay strong and keep well.

Peintre Celebre · 11-07-2015 2:01pm

Sorry to see you go jingle. Always seemed like a nice guy I wish you all the best. If you ever re-register drop me a PM

Clique · 06-02-2016 1:06pm

Sorry for the bump but its been a while!

Ive resurfaced the odd time but just wanted to post on how things are going. This was something that very neary cost me my life. I am the artist formerly known as mr.jingle just in case you didnt get it.

Nearly a year off them now and don't miss them to be honest. Its been tough at times but as time has gone on it has become easier. Still look at the odd race and still have a little interest in whats going on around the courses. I recently wrote a little piece for A Lust For Life, I'll post the link for anyone interested in hearing of the lows of gambling.

A lot of new names on here probably not familiar with the original post but take it from me if your losing on a constant basis and it doesnt have to much money either you need to get out. Its difficult to stop but not impossible and I'm a testament to that as believe me it was the one thing I ever thought about for the best part of 12/13yrs.

Nice to post here again so talk again soon. Mr.j shhhh

mytime · 06-02-2016 1:14pm

I tip my hat to you. Its a terrible disease. Could you post the link to the piece you wrote I'd love to read it.

Little steps and stay strong

Clique wrote: »

Sorry for the bump but its been a while!

Ive resurfaced the odd time but just wanted to post on how things are going. This was something that very neary cost me my life. I am the artist formerly known as mr.jingle just in case you didnt get it.

Nearly a year off them now and don't miss them to be honest. Its been tough at times but as time has gone on it has become easier. Still look at the odd race and still have a little interest in whats going on around the courses. I recently wrote a little piece for A Lust For Life, I'll post the link for anyone interested in hearing of the lows of gambling.

A lot of new names on here probably not familiar with the original post but take it from me if your losing on a constant basis and it doesnt have to much money either you need to get out. Its difficult to stop but not impossible and I'm a testament to that as believe me it was the one thing I ever thought about for the best part of 12/13yrs.

Nice to post here again so talk again soon. Mr.j shhhh

Clique · 06-02-2016 1:22pm

mytime wrote: »

I tip my hat to you. Its a terrible disease. Could you post the link to the piece you wrote I'd love to read it.

Little steps and stay strong

It wont let me post a link as im only a new user. Its on the A Lust for Life website. Its under Gambling with Life in personal stories. There is a pic of a man and a few chips on a poker table just click that.

http://www.alustforlife.com/personal-stories/gambling-with-life

Peintre Celebre · 06-02-2016 7:26pm

Delighted to hear jingle glad it's going well

Pearlstone · 06-02-2016 10:54pm

Delighted to hear you are in a good place Jingle. Without sounding like a preacher you would be far better off not looking at the odd race or having any interest in what's going on around the courses. I believe that it would make the road that you are travelling a bit easier. Keep well.

Clique · 07-02-2016 12:13am

Pearlstone wrote: »

Delighted to hear you are in a good place Jingle. Without sounding like a preacher you would be far better off not looking at the odd race or having any interest in what's going on around the courses. I believe that it would make the road that you are travelling a bit easier. Keep well.

Thanks Pearlstone. You dont sound like a preacher at all, I have a friend who is also not gambling. Even when the odds come up on the tv for any sport or if someone mentions it he is straight away turning or trying to ignore it. Thats not a way to live.

I dont mind my friends talking or going into a pub and hearing lads scream at the racing on the tv whereas he does and has to leave. Im the one with the problem not my mates or the others in the place, alienating the whole thing would to me personally make me worse and actually more edgy. Thats not the way I want to live! Each to their own I suppose

Pearlstone · 07-02-2016 1:54pm

Fair point Mr J. Whatever works for you is good. Delighted that you are doing so well.

07-02-2016 2:19pm

Good to hear you're doing well. Any addiction, be it drink, drugs, gambling or other less known ones are lifelong conditions. You've done really well. As you know the first step to recovery is to admit to yourself that there is a problem

Clique · 16-03-2019 4:23am

I posted a review of Cheltenham on another thread and someone mentioned in a pm why I didn't back horses anymore and it brought me back to this, something I forwarded on to them!

Suppose there is no harm after such a week to show the dangers that gambling has and the effect it can have on you. I rarely watch racing anymore but I watched pretty much all of Cheltenham this year, bet free I might add, and enjoyed it. I used to find this week hard but now its just another week. In the past I have made mistakes and fallen back into gambling, St.Stephens Day was always the hardest as it was our lads days out in the pub, the guys would be betting, we'd be drinking all day and last year I relapsed mildly.

It has had its tough days, I still do get small urges but very rarely. I sort of hit a milestone this week in just how far it had gone. I work an average job, an average weekly wage so to find yourself in debt of just over 40k because of mainly gambling despite never being a heavy gambler wager wise, its a hard road back. This week it becomes less than half that total. So still just over a couple of years left of paying back what my counsellor calls my mini mortgage.

At the time of my worst gambling, I was one of the top players of pitch & putt in the country but would always fall short and could never really get that winners medal. Since I stopped, I've won 2 All Irelands, one individually and one with my county, travelled to South America to play in the first ever Ryder Cup of Pitch & Putt between Europe & SA which we won, playing with Ireland in winning a World Cup and European Championship, of which I was captain and honestly would never be where I am without giving up on gambling. I live for pitch & putt now, not losing money on gambling like it was before.

Sometimes change takes time, I knew I needed to change but didn't want to believe it. Thanks for reading, this thread brought back so many memories but also showed me how far I have come.

Love ya's boardies :P

Itziger · 16-03-2019 7:33am

Great to hear that, lad. Delighted for you and of course congratulations on the sporting achievements. Best of luck with the mini mortgage repayments!

By the way, is there any alternative you could find for St Stephen's Day?

Lisha · 16-03-2019 7:38am

Delighted to hear all is going well Clique. Every best wish to you. Never underestimate the powerful thing you have done in taking back control of your life. I think it’s simply amazing.

Pearlstone · 16-03-2019 11:24am

Hi Clique. Fantastic to hear your update and truly delighted for you.Keep well and continued success with the pitch and putt. P.

Clique · 16-03-2019 12:10pm

Itziger wrote: »

Great to hear that, lad. Delighted for you and of course congratulations on the sporting achievements. Best of luck with the mini mortgage repayments!

By the way, is there any alternative you could find for St Stephen's Day?

The way things are with growing older, friends drift away, some have kids, get married and people lose touch, using social medua & whatsapp to communicate rather than going over to see them like we all once did. Due to that St.Stephens Day became our one day every year, where most of us actually meet up and have a laugh together. Their is an alternative though, quite simply don't drink. I rarely do anyway but definitely one to consider

akelly02 · 21-03-2019 11:51am

Well done lad, fair play tya!

Addiction

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