Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Communication Skills in the workplace

Options
  • 14-07-1999 4:53pm
    #1
    ButcherOfNog
    Registered Users Posts: 3,317 ✭✭✭


    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

    Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

    SO TRY SAYING
    Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF
    When the **** do you expect me to do this?

    TRY SAYING
    I'm certain that is not feasible.
    INSTEAD OF
    No ****ing way!!

    TRY SAYING
    Really?
    INSTEAD OF
    You've got to be ****ting me.

    TRY SAYING
    Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF
    Tell someone who gives a ****.

    TRY SAYING
    I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF It's not my ****ing problem.

    TRY SAYING
    I'm not sure I can implement this.
    INSTEAD OF
    **** it, it won't work.

    TRY SAYING
    I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF
    Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

    TRY SAYING
    He's not familiar with the problem.
    INSTEAD OF
    He's got his head up his ass.

    TRY SAYING
    Excuse me sir?
    INSTEAD OF
    Eat **** and die mother****er.

    TRY SAYING
    So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF Kiss my ass.

    TRY SAYING
    I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
    INSTEAD OF
    **** it, I'm on salary.

    TRY SAYING
    I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF
    Shove it up your ass.

    TRY SAYING
    I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF
    This job sucks.

    TRY SAYING
    You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF
    Who the hell died and made you boss?

    TRY SAYING I see.
    INSTEAD OF
    Blow me.

    TRY SAYING
    Yes, we really should discuss it.
    INSTEAD OF
    Another ****ing meeting?!!!!

    TRY SAYING
    He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF
    He's a ****ing *****.

    TRY SAYING
    She's an aggressive go getter.
    INSTEAD OF
    She's a ball busting *****.

    TRY SAYING
    I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF
    You don't know what the **** you're doing.


Advertisement