Times they are a changing

lulu1 · 30-12-2018 11:07pm #1

As the title says . It seems now when boy meets girl and they go out a few times they are not an item until the boy asks her to be his girlfriend.

I remember and I'm not talking about today or yesterday when boy met girl at a dance/disco he would ask to see her the next night/week and it went on like that. There was no asking to be girlfriend's in it

It was the girl next door's birthday and I asked what did the boyfriend get her.

Nothing she says sure I'm not his girlfriend and they have been going out a few months

skimpydoo · 30-12-2018 11:24pm

lulu1 wrote: »

As the title says . It seems now when boy meets girl and they go out a few times they are not an item until the boy asks her to be his girlfriend.

I remember and I'm not talking about today or yesterday when boy met girl at a dance/disco he would ask to see her the next night/week and it went on like that. There was no asking to be girlfriend's in it

It was the girl next door's birthday and I asked what did the boyfriend get her.

Nothing she says sure I'm not his girlfriend and they have been going out a few months

corner of hells · 30-12-2018 11:25pm

Nowadays kids dont know if they're boy/girl trans or fcukin' neutral. There's a young one lives across from me and thinks she's a traffic cone .

Purple Mountain · 30-12-2018 11:28pm

I'm pushing 40 and it's been the way you describe it OP for as long as I can remember.
You must be a fossil

lulu1 · 30-12-2018 11:30pm

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'm pushing 40 and it's been the way you describe it OP for as long as I can remember.
You must be a fossil

I prefer to use the word antique myself:D

The Rape of Lucretia · 30-12-2018 11:36pm

lulu1 wrote: »

they are not an item until the boy asks her to be his girlfriend.

Men are being taught to ask these days. Assuming, is frowned upon, and can lead to legal complications. Whether its a good or bad development is open to debate.

biko · 30-12-2018 11:46pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r26krlXFmOI

Church on Tuesday · 31-12-2018 12:20am

Yup.

Sadly this is the way it goes these days.

31-12-2018 12:30am

lulu1 wrote: »

As the title says . It seems now when boy meets girl and they go out a few times they are not an item until the boy asks her to be his girlfriend.

I remember and I'm not talking about today or yesterday when boy met girl at a dance/disco he would ask to see her the next night/week and it went on like that. There was no asking to be girlfriend's in it

It was the girl next door's birthday and I asked what did the boyfriend get her.

Nothing she says sure I'm not his girlfriend and they have been going out a few months

We live in a culture of users and social media narcissists sadly. The 'innocence' is gone out of dating and is nearly perceived as a weakness. That said, I think the strongest bonds are now formed where you meet your partner in non nightclub/pub scenarios. i think where a conversation is formed first and foremost, it allows any possibility to flourish. The club and pub scene just doesnt do that any more.

Gimme A Pound · 31-12-2018 12:35am

As Purple Mountain says, that nonsense has been around for decades. There's no "nowadays" or "sadly" or caused by social media about it.

Ye bunch of wannabe old fogeys.

punisher5112 · 31-12-2018 12:37am

You would want to drop the hand quite quickly these days as you never know you might meet there's something about Miriam.....

31-12-2018 12:41am

Dante Weak Man wrote: »

As Purple Mountain says, that nonsense has been around for decades. There's no "nowadays" or "sadly" or caused by social media about it.

Ye bunch of wannabe old fogeys.

Nonsense. The music has changed, the people have changed and so has socialising in general. The facts are there to back it up. People are marrying later, having kids later, having fewer kids. Times have really changed. And social media has created a generation of narcissists.if anyone suggested creating a social media profile in the 90s you'd be laughed out of it.

ninebeanrows · 31-12-2018 12:45am

I predict within a few years - there will be a ‘consent app’ where two people will have to finger print / verbal record consent before copulating.

McMurphy · 31-12-2018 12:46am

Going steady.

That's what we called it;)

lulu1 · 31-12-2018 12:47am

Dante Weak Man wrote: »

As Purple Mountain says, that nonsense has been around for decades. There's no "nowadays" or "sadly" or caused by social media about it.

Ye bunch of wannabe old fogeys.

Aw away to yer bed your'e just jealous

lulu1 · 31-12-2018 12:48am

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Going steady.

That's what we called it;)

Yip same here

Alf Veedersane · 31-12-2018 12:49am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Nonsense. The music has changed, the people have changed and so has socialising in general. The facts are there to back it up. People are marrying later, having kids later, having fewer kids. Times have really changed. And social media has created a generation of narcissists.if anyone suggested creating a social media profile in the 90s you'd be laughed out of it.

The mechanics are quite different but there has always been a thing where you're supposed to officially ask someone out. It's not new or related to social media or snowflakes or millenials.

31-12-2018 12:56am

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

The mechanics are quite different but there has always been a thing where you're supposed to officially ask someone out. It's not new or related to social media or snowflakes or millenials.

Speaking from experience, relationships are not given the same time to develop from initial meeting now and people have been basically reduced to a left or right swipe. I think we will see the legacy of our current dating habits in time. Our indigenous population will decrease dramatically. I think it would be naive to assume that people or the dating game are the same.

Alf Veedersane · 31-12-2018 1:00am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Speaking from experience, relationships are not given the same time to develop from initial meeting now and people have been basically reduced to a left or right swipe. I think we will see the legacy of our current dating habits in time. Our indigenous population will decrease dramatically. I think it would be naive to assume that people or the dating game are the same.

I'm talking about the OP. The point of this thread, ie that one person has to explicitly ask that it's official.

Your tangent is speaking to something quite different.

Gimme A Pound · 31-12-2018 1:02am

Deleted User wrote: »

The music has changed, the people have changed and so has socialising in general. The facts are there to back it up. People are marrying later, having kids later, having fewer kids. Times have really changed. And social media has created a generation of narcissists.if anyone suggested creating a social media profile in the 90s you'd be laughed out of it.

Oh I agree with all of the above but I'm just focusing on one thing - not saying someone is your girlfriend or boyfriend even when seeing them a while, until something or other is said or done arbitrarily to make it so. That's been around decades. It's usually only very young 'uns though.

Greyfox · 31-12-2018 1:08am

lulu1 wrote: »

As the title says . It seems now when boy meets girl and they go out a few times they are not an item until the boy asks her to be his girlfriend.

True. Problem is a lot if guys will wait for the woman to ask as they dont want to lose out on the I'm still free to meet someone else while there also thinking god she's lovely what if she meets someone else.. these days it's hard for people to know what they want

lulu1 · 31-12-2018 1:10am

Dante Weak Man wrote: »

Oh I agree with all of the above but I'm just focusing on one thing - not saying someone is your girlfriend or boyfriend even when seeing them a while, until something or other is said or done arbitrarily to make it so. That's been around decades. It's usually only very young 'uns though.

I am wondering now after over 30 years of marriage was I ever a girlfriend:D because he never asked me we just took it for granted

jmreire · 31-12-2018 1:13am

lulu1 wrote: »

I prefer to use the word antique myself:D

Yeah, you are right.. ANTIQUE has a ring of class about it..

..."Fossil" is to linked to black slimy stuff....

Mongfinder General · 31-12-2018 1:15am

Call it what you want. As long as the lad is getting the back wheels in he's happy.

Alf Veedersane · 31-12-2018 1:15am

lulu1 wrote: »

I am wondering now after over 30 years of marriage was I ever a girlfriend:D because he never asked me we just took it for granted

About 12 years ago, I assumed I was going out with my now wife. Until she asked if we were because I hadn't asked. So I asked. Big deal to her, seemingly. Conditioning, I guess. I wasn't aware of any of those social norms

One eyed Jack · 31-12-2018 1:16am

Pfft, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet OP

Beyond dimensions: The man who married a hologram

Tokyo (CNN) — Akihiko Kondo doesn't have the air of a rebel. This year, however, the bespectacled school administrator bucked conventional norms.

He married a hologram.

Kondo's November wedding to cyber celebrity Hatsune Miku -- which is not legally recognized -- provoked mixed reactions in Japan and abroad. Some were dumbfounded by his choice of a three-dimensional laser image over a human. Others congratulated him.

Metrosexuals are soooo last century already :rolleyes: :pac:

Robocop Corcoran · 31-12-2018 1:16am

Your neighbour is only riding yer man. No presents needed.

idnkph · 31-12-2018 1:16am

Sleety_Rain wrote:

I predict within a few years - there will be a â€˜consent appâ€™ where two people will have to finger print / verbal record consent before copulating.

Haha you said "finger" in the same sentence as consent app

31-12-2018 1:17am

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

I'm talking about the OP. The point of this thread, ie that one person has to explicitly ask that it's official.

Your tangent is speaking to something quite different.

Looking at the bigger picture though, this type of situation would indicate the mindset of todays youth. Too much head fúcking and mindgames. Either that or the girl is perhaps being a bit coy about her involvement with this gentleman

Alf Veedersane · 31-12-2018 1:19am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Looking at the bigger picture though, this type of situation would indicate the mindset of todays youth. Too much head fúcking and mindgames.

Head ****ing, mind games...that isn't new either.

Many things about how the dance is performed nowadays might be different but a lot of things are not new.

lulu1 · 31-12-2018 1:20am

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

About 12 years ago, I assumed I was going out with my now wife. Until she asked if we were because I hadn't asked. So I asked. Big deal to her, seemingly. Conditioning, I guess. I wasn't aware of any of those social norms

12 years my god I'm far behind the times Think I might just crawl under a stone now and die

I honestly never heard of it to a dew weeks ago

Red Lightning · 31-12-2018 1:25am

Deleted User wrote:

We live in a culture of users and social media narcissists sadly. The 'innocence' is gone out of dating and is nearly perceived as a weakness. That said, I think the strongest bonds are now formed where you meet your partner in non nightclub/pub scenarios. i think where a conversation is formed first and foremost, it allows any possibility to flourish. The club and pub scene just doesnt do that any more.

I agree. Hate the pub/nightclub scene for meeting women cos they are assuming you're gonna be approaching them with a game plan and it all feels too staged. Much better getting to know people through work or extra curricular activities and form a bond that way imo.

Purple Mountain · 31-12-2018 1:38am

Dante Weak Man wrote: »

As Purple Mountain says, that nonsense has been around for decades. There's no "nowadays" or "sadly" or caused by social media about it.

Ye bunch of wannabe old fogeys.

Definitely. I live in very rural Ireland and there would always have been a conversation between me and any exs as to whether we were bf and gf or just "meeting". Ie. Just getting the shift every now and then.
Sure jesus do none of you watch Love Island?
"Dani/Megan/Kaz, I was wondering if you'd be me girlfriend?".

Snickers Man · 12-03-2019 8:48pm

Sleety_Rain wrote: »

I predict within a few years - there will be a ‘consent app’ where two people will have to finger print / verbal record consent before copulating.

WOW!!! That was prescient!!

Seems like someone is working on just such an app, but UCD is "apologising" to those asked to participate in its development.

I have long thought that this would be the way to go, a sort of "opt-in" add on to apps like Tinder that each party would have to sign, digitally or otherwise, before any hanky panky developed. Absence of such a "consent form" could be construed as absence of consent in any subsequent legal nastiness, given that the defence in many rape/sexual assault cases is "But I thought she was up for it!"

But apparently, something that might clarify matters and give some reassurance to the male party is not to be countenanced.

riffmongous · 12-03-2019 9:01pm

Snickers Man wrote: »

WOW!!! That was prescient!!

Seems like someone is working on just such an app, but UCD is "apologising" to those asked to participate in its development.

I have long thought that this would be the way to go, a sort of "opt-in" add on to apps like Tinder that each party would have to sign, digitally or otherwise, before any hanky panky developed. Absence of such a "consent form" could be construed as absence of consent in any subsequent legal nastiness, given that the defence in many rape/sexual assault cases is "But I thought she was up for it!"

But apparently, something that might clarify matters and give some reassurance to the male party is not to be countenanced.

Maybe because there are some very serious flaws with it?

Capt'n Midnight · 12-03-2019 9:02pm

corner of hells wrote: »

Nowadays kids dont know if they're boy/girl trans or fcukin' neutral. There's a young one lives across from me and thinks she's a traffic cone .

Doesn't matter as long it's conesensul.

AllForIt · 12-03-2019 9:51pm

Ridiculous = Consent App = UCD Controversy

Ariadne · 12-03-2019 10:33pm

Well we always had to do the ''are we just meeting or are we going out'' dance since I was a teenager, and now I'm 30 things seem to be the same. If you're just riding someone you basically forgo all the pros and cons of a relationship. It's just riding, no pressies like.

Shanotheslayer · 13-03-2019 1:11am

Succubus_ wrote: »

It's just riding, no pressies like.

You're package is the only package she's getting sorta thing

Times they are a changing

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