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Work embarrassment

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  • 24-02-2021 10:25pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All

    Firstly I should preface this by saying this isnt a very big problem at all more of an embarrassment really.

    I work in an office environment for a large company and some are on and some are offsite at the moment. I have a monthly meeting with my own and some other managers. My role is to provide the topic for discussion and provide the example , I run through this and then the floor is open for discussion on improvements.

    However, on Monday for the first time since I have been with the company (5years) I was a train wreck, every suggestion I made was like verbal diarrhea, I was stumbling over myself when speaking saying things that produced silences afterwards. I wanted the ground to open up on a couple of occasions

    I feel embarrassed and my ego has taken a hit, on one hand i know the people on the call know that Im generally a lot better at communicating than that but on the other hand im kicking myself for appearing so unprofessional. It was like the feeling you get after coming out of a bad job interview wondering why you said things that didn't make sense

    Has anyone had a similar car crash type of experience and any tips on brushing myself off? It was certainly out of character for me so I contacted my boss after to let them know it was a disaster and she recommended changes we can make to have smoother meetings in the future.

    As an aside this particular meeting I find is very unproductive and we have taken various approaches to make things work. Every month is usually a discussion, people share opinions but not much output or actions. It is not a meeting that i look forward to very much and for some reason had a few nerves this time. This is perhaps because everyone on the call apart from me is a Manager, im not sure. Generally we all agree in around about way but there seems to be no willingness to actually implement new ideas and alot of deflection which is becoming frustrating, as the results from this meeting are a part of my yearly target. I'm sure there are some experienced people here in senior positions, any tips on improving things?


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    #2
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,838 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    Hard to know, maybe ermm...Sounds like you are overthinking it ? Putting too much emphasis on the importance of the meeting? Worrying about your target audience ? Being impressed ? Being into what you have to say ?

    Don’t worry about trying to impress, just focus on communication...presenting..

    - be well prepared (THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL)

    - KNOW what you are talking about.

    - deliver slowly, be relaxed (they need you and the information more than you need them or their approval)

    - make eye contact.

    - enjoy it.


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    #3
    JoChervil
    Registered Users Posts: 2,003 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    OP, don't worry. It was very likely one off.

    I know people will laugh but I believe in Astrology and on Sunday Mercury stationed direct. It means it stopped retrograding and started moving forward. During such times communication is disrupted. Mercury is a messenger after all. There can also be delays with travels or moving parts can break in machines and cars. Once I got a very revealing email by accident during such time. People often make such mistakes then.

    It happened in Aquarius. Maybe it was in any important part in your natal chart, so influenced you badly.


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    #4
    listermint
    Registered Users Posts: 33,687 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    Ok whatever about the side tracking of the post above.


    OP you are over thinking it. What I would do is actually put it to the group . First that you want to apologise for the lack of value on Mondays meeting. It was an off day. But it also got you rexamining the meeting outcomes.

    Do we feel as a team we are getting what we need from this session. Is their other inputs required should we be focusing on value outcomes from future sessions.

    You should engage and ask for input as this will be see as a proactive step to refreshing what everyone may think has gone stale.


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    #5
    JoChervil
    Registered Users Posts: 2,003 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    listermint wrote: »
    Ok whatever about the side tracking of the post above.

    Well, I tried to help OP brush it off...


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    #6
    AmberGold
    Registered Users Posts: 1,284 ✭✭✭AmberGold


    Relax, half them aren’t listening and definitely won’t remember your contribution to the level you think they will. We’re all human.

    If it’s a video call in future stick a few postit’s around the screen with your key points summary etc. It’s a good crutch and it won’t seem like you’re looking down to read.

    We’ve all had an occasional nosedive, pulling out of it is the important part, brush yourself off and nail the next one. If it’s something you really feel you need help with Toastmasters is a great place to start.


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    #7
    Neames
    Registered Users Posts: 951 ✭✭✭Neames


    You had an off day.

    Don't be so hard in yourself. Your colleagues will have seen 5 years where you performed well.

    Forget about it, that's my advice. You're probably your own harshest critic, your colleagues no doubt will be wrapped up in their own worries and may not have given this a second thought.

    Go easy on yourself.


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    #8
    thefa
    Registered Users Posts: 917 ✭✭✭thefa


    Strumms wrote: »
    - be well prepared (THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL)

    - KNOW what you are talking about.

    I’m not a strong presenter but these two make me competent. Even when I’m caught for time and only have 15 mins to prep for a meeting that I know the subject matter of, it makes all the difference. It’s too easy to take certain meeting for granted but sounds like this one with managers is a good opportunity and maybe you can help make it more productive.

    It sounds like once the nerves started setting in, they were compounded by the lack of feedback which started a bit of a loop. As you mentioned yourself, the group know you’re a better communicator so come back strong the next time and it will be written off as a once off.

    Just on a side note, when I worked in a large company I found that a lot of actions and support for ideas was gotten before big group meetings. Not sure is there something you can do on the networking side so that you know where some of the other invitees stand before the meetings themselves so you can get a feel for how things will land.


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    #9
    conndeal
    Registered Users Posts: 42 ✭conndeal


    Could you come up with ideas that would make the Manager's job easier or solve a problem they have.

    If your suggestions involve more work for the Managers or involve more monitoring of their work, they may be less receptive.


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    #10
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Car crash wrote: »
    Has anyone had a similar car crash type of experience and any tips on brushing myself off?

    No one cares about you the way you do.

    No one thinks about you the way you do.

    You are not important to them and they probably haven't thought about you since the call.

    In future be more prepared, write down what you want to talk about, and only talk about those things.


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    #11
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    You provide the topic and example? Do you pick the topic? Sounds bizarre. If you think the meetings are unproductive it's probably because they use this format.

    I think you're placing too much importance on these meetings. Best you can do is get something everyone can agree on... I've no idea what sort of topics but from the sounds of it something about the environment, covid awareness, blm, thank you thursday, a quiz, or setting up zoom meetings in teams of random employees who usually wouldn't get to work together would get very little resistance and a lot of praise.


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    #12
    beauf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,651 ✭✭✭✭beauf


    If it were me I'd keep a notebook of ideas and have a couple fleshed out in case I needed something to reference while talking. Have a few in your back pocket so to speak. Preparation (and practise) is the key to speaking well in my opinion.

    The problem with meetings without a clear agenda is they tend to be unfocused and wander all over the place. Rarely are they productive.


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    #13
    beauf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,651 ✭✭✭✭beauf


    antix80 wrote: »
    ....something about the environment, covid awareness, blm, thank you thursday, a quiz, or setting up zoom meetings in teams of random employees who usually wouldn't get to work together would get very little resistance and a lot of praise....

    Jeez isn't that the truth.... you might not know how to turn on your laptop or know what company does. But if you organise a few virtual bake offs and a few speakers how to pamper the positive you. It's a sure way to fast track promotion.


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