Learning to drive

OP here.
I tried to respond sooner but my reply didnt post, just made an account to reply to everyone.

Thanks so much for all the replies, I appreciate the advice given.
I did take on board the advice and as suggested I arranged a day with my mother to go driving, she picked the day herself, told me she had to go to the graveyard which is a 2 minute drive from the house on country roads and that I could drive her there when she is going up. She didn't give a specific time or anything. Long story short when it came to the day she no longer wanted to and started a fight with me over it. She is still not speaking to me and I have no idea what I did only ask her to sit in the car with me for 10 - 20 minutes while I drive. It really comes down to her just not wanting to.
I spoke to my dad about shouting at me in the car when driving and how I really need to learn how to drive but finding it difficult as I cant practice. He told me that I should of been ready to take a test after my 12 lessons and shouldnt need practice, said lots of people who dont have a family car learn how to drive and said I want this handed to me on a plate - Ive never had anything handed to me on a plate in my life, I never ask my parents for anything so was really hurt by this comment. I said to him that I thought they would want to help me learn but he just laughed at me.

So thats that, I cannot go to them for any help or support which is fine but I wish they had of made this clear before putting me on the car insurance. I am on social welfare and trying to pay this off yet I cant even drive the car so its a complete waste of money.

So now im looking up cars and loans and I just dont know how to go about buying a car at all. If I take out a loan I will have an extra 2 - 5k to pay in interest. I wont be able to drive the car alone until I take a test which im no where nearly ready to do and besides that, theres such a backlog for testing it could be the middle of next year. Then theres the issue of needing the car for getting a job so im worried that if I didnt get a job between now and next year how will I pay off the loan as im only getting 203 a week, im finding it really difficult to get a job without a full license.

If I do see a car I could buy how do I get it to my house if I cant drive it? How do I know the car is in good enough condition and wont need work done to it? This whole process is stressful and confusing.

freshpopcorn wrote: »

OP. Giving your current situation I’d just focus on doing loads of lessons with any instructor you can get or ask a relative for help. (This may mean you getting a bus or something to meet them.)

When your purchasing a car.
You might bring a mechanic with you or sometimes you’ve to use a bit of common sense and take a chance. Research thing online such as “What to look out for when buying a car?”
I also think you are overthinking things a little and need to relax a little. ( I was like that when I was about twenty but I grew out of it.)

Edit if you need to get a car to your house. Ask somebody who’ll be insured or will accompany you or get some mechanic with a transporter to bring it to your house. However I wouldn’t recommend rushing off buying a car the way your set up now.

Think the OP stated a number of times they dont have any close relatives or anyone to practice with, why harp on telling them to ask a relative??

What would getting a bus to someone do? The OP would still need to be insured on their car to drive it. Would you let a learner driver who you wearnt at all close to drive your car without insurance?
Doesnt sound like the OP can afford to take out more insurance on another car anyway and if they did find someone to let them do this, they might only get to drive once in a blue moon if lucky.

Ive never heard of a mechanic accompanying someone who is buying a car unless they personally knew the mechanic. Im under the impression that the OP doesnt have much of a support network so relying on other people to help them doesnt seem like an option.

It sounds like the OP is asking how they can learn to drive and buy a decent car without having to rely on other people.

Hi OP. Have you applied for the test yet? If not apply now. If the waiting list is really long best get on it. It will give you a date to work towards. Get a few more professional lessons in the meantime to keep your skills up. It's been a long time since I did my test but I remember getting the advice that it's 20 minutes of perfect driving and I found that to be true. I think you're overthinking the test. I remember learning with lessons. I had about 12 I think and I did my test soon after and passed.
If I was you I would be putting more focus on moving out. Your parents sound fairly toxic. You should research toxic and narcissist parents. I think at the moment you can't see the wood from the trees. You meed to break things down and take one step at a time. Best of luck OP

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

What youre really saying is the OP isnt trying hard enough in your view. The OP has stated several times they dont have anyone else, their family isnt close. Its great that you had an aunt that was willing to help you but jt sounds like the OP doesnt have that.
Who has a 'family mechanic'? ive genuinely never heard of such of thing. Anyway, the op's family isnt close and going by the parents reaction to them askin for help, it's very unlikely the OP will have access to a 'family mechanic'.
Lessons can only teach you the basics.

OP invest in a car atleast if you have that it gives you more opportunities to practice even if its just reversing by yourself in the drive way.

I have friends that that passed their tests with only lessons off their instructor. I’ve seen it in the learning to drive forum. It’s fairly common in the UK.
Yes it’s great I had aunt who’d have helped me but I wonder would the OP think of somebody who lives an hour or two away?
The OP has stated lots of things I was really on their side originally. Even when I suggested doing a few pre tests to get them used to the test routes and find out their faults they completely ruled it out.
Some people with older second hand cars stick to going to the same mechanic all the time and he’d offer support when buying a car some times.
I also suggested researching buying a car online and what to look out for.
If they are looking for advice about how to buy a car this really isn’t the forum for it.

What use is a car to OP in their current situation if they’ve nobody to take them out apart from a driving instructor? When all they can do is move it on the drive way.

Humour Me wrote: »

Op I’m really sorry that you don’t have the support you need at home. I think for your own sake, drop the subject entirely with your parents, it’s just creating more stress for you.

Call the insurance company and cancel your cover on your parents car, they will refund the premium for the rest of the year. Just check who the payment goes to, it will probably be sent to the policy owner.

Call your instructor and book twice weekly lessons so you are going out every 3-4 days. Do NOT buy a car until you pass your test. If you don’t have someone who will travel with you, then a car will just be a pile of money sitting in the driveway doing nothing. If you feel like you are not making progress with your instructor, book another instructor and tell them you want to get test ready.

Your money would be much better spent on lessons every few days rather than buying and insuring a car.

Fantastic advice there OP!

Going by what you said this is your only option I'd say!

L.driver12345 wrote: »

I was considering buying a car and then I could continue getting lessons in that car instead of the instructors car.

Forgive me not knowledgeable on cars non driver.

But would the opposite not be far cheaper?

Also do instructors actually do this?

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Most instructors I know of give lessons in the persons car. Once they the student is some way competent. It's can be a few euro cheaper.

can't believe i didn't know this

L.driver12345 wrote: »

I was considering if I did it this way it might give me more confidence and practice driving unassisted? In the instructors car she has a clutch break and accelerator on the passenger side, even though im driving I dont have full responsibility of the car. I think thats why im more nervous and worse driving unassisted because I have little experience driving with full responsibility.
I will have to get a car anyway so why not get it now then when I finally do get my full licence my insurance will come down in price.

Saying this I dont want to put my instructor or other road users at risk.
I am worried too that my parents might become angry if I buy a car. They are very controlling.

Have a think then do what is best for you.

Maybe ask an instructor for their advice ?

GL x

L.driver12345 wrote: »

I was considering if I did it this way it might give me more confidence and practice driving unassisted? In the instructors car she has a clutch break and accelerator on the passenger side, even though im driving I dont have full responsibility of the car. I think thats why im more nervous and worse driving unassisted because I have little experience driving with full responsibility.
I will have to get a car anyway so why not get it now then when I finally do get my full licence my insurance will come down in price.

Saying this I dont want to put my instructor or other road users at risk.
I am worried too that my parents might become angry if I buy a car. They are very controlling.

I did only a few lessons in an instructors car about ten years ago before going out in my own. However my instructor only used the clutch and break when I needed assistance and then he explained to me why he used them. Does your instructor do this or do they always use the pedal's for you? I know people who changed instructors because of this issue.
Have you discussed about getting a car with your instructor and is she willing to accompany you in your car?
How many lessons have you done and are you progressing? Sometimes a change of instructor can help in my exoerience.
Your first years insurance will be rather expensive even with a full license. Just remember to factor in all the costs of running, maintaining, etc a car before you buy one.

scrumqueen wrote: »

Sorry I dont know where you are getting this from but I think you need to do some more research.

You absolutely CAN get insured on a car that is 10 years or older, yes it is a bit more difficult but do able, and if you put your parents on as named drivers it will bring down your premium.

I'm a learner driver and I bought a 08 semi automatic this year and got fully comprehensive insurance with one 55+ older family member as named driver and my premium was 1800e, car itself was less than 3K.

My instructor has said he is happy to go out with me in my car, he has assessed me to a standard that he's happy to do this.

I was also told by 3 different instructors over the years that I was never going to improve further without my own car and they were correct. It just clicked when i had my own car.

Thanks for replying I rang around different insurance companies and they all told me that the car should be under 10 years old as a first time driver I wont get insured on an older car.
It sounds like you were able to get insured on an older car because your parents helped you out. I dont have a named driver to put down and my parents arent helping me.

L.driver12345 wrote: »

Thanks for replying I rang around different insurance companies and they all told me that the car should be under 10 years old as a first time driver I wont get insured on an older car.
It sounds like you were able to get insured on an older car because your parents helped you out. I dont have a named driver to put down and my parents arent helping me.

What age are you OP?

L.driver12345 wrote: »

Thanks scrumqueen for this info. I know my parents arent going to help me, its not even about the money its just the way they are. They put me on the insurance and I payed for it but wont allow me to drive the car. Its very hard to explain as I know its probably not the usual type of experience that people have with their parents or family members, they just dont want to help. I really need to find a way to do this entirely on my own without the help of anyone because I really dont know people that can help. Im quiet, introverted and wouldnt have a very big social circle. My family is small and I only see extended family at funerals. I know a few comments have said that im not thinking outside the box and should get a bus to someone but I dont have anyone, I have no reason to lie here im just saying the facts. I can only rely on myself, putting anyone on the insurance, asking friends or family to help with practice I cant do any of that.

I just want to know how I can do it without the assistance of other people because it feels a bit hopeless and feel like I keep running into brick walls.

OK, fair enough. Look families can be difficult, and I have come across parents like yours before and worse. As one of the other posters above pointed out, and I'd agree, maybe you should try get a different job that doesn't require driving. That way, you can build up some savings while living at home and get financially independent and away from your parents. Then focus on the driving when you have the means to not have to be in a position to ask your family for anything.

L.driver12345 wrote: »

I just want to know how I can do it without the assistance of other people because it feels a bit hopeless and feel like I keep running into brick walls.

Going by this OP. Your only option is to get as my lessons with an instructor as possible.
Unless you advertise somewhere or ask a neighbor will they sit into a car with you and accompany you but you’d be paying them also.
Often if you ring insurance companies they’ll give you a quote. I’m helping somebody learn to drive at the moment and they got a comprehensive quote with AXA for €2000 on a twelve year old car. They were over 25 tough and it didn’t cost anything to put me on their insurance as a names driver.

Just wanted to pop on and thank everyone again for all the replies because you all really made me think about my situation from another perspective.

I spoke to my driving instructor and he advised me to buy a car so thats what I have done and I actually got a really good deal on the car but especially the insurance.
Because I had insurance taken out with the same company on my parents car I was able to get a cheaper quote and will be able to get refunded the money spent on the other insurance. In the end I spent way under what I had expected so im really pleased.



Ive also signed up for a part time course.
Ive redone my cv and from tomorrow will start posting it and handing it into places so fingers crossed.




Thanks again