My parents are luckily (and due to their own great efforts) in extremely good health, but with all the horrific sh!t going on in nursing homes at the moment I'm interested in ensuring that they never have to go into one.
My spouse's grandparent is in one, and their final months have been agonising. Now an unrecognisable, starved and battered shell of a human, while they might have fought off the infections and cancers which are now (thankfully, in many ways) getting to their final stages, I wonder would they be bothered fighting, given the fact that they're not independent enough to live at home and would just be returning to the tedium of the nursing home with occasional (seldom, now) visits. They're 86 and have been in and out of hospital and care for two years, having taken up residence in the home only at the start of this year. Their deterioration has been absolutely lightning fast.
My own remaining grandparent is cared for in the home by their children, who take it in turns. In the past five years there has been much more care required. They are 96 and have overcome every infection and health issue suffered to date. They have a touch of incredibly profound Alzheimers but they are undeniably and visibly very happy during periods of every single day, and their quality of life is actually enviable enough considering they're nearly a century on the go.
My partner maintains that there was nothing they could do but put the grandparent in a nursing home, and I'm not going to contradict them. I understand the huge sacrifices it would have been necessary for members of the family to make in order to facilitate the care that would have been required at home and it's a lot to ask. But I don't accept that it was the only option.
I'm already caring for a special needs relative for two decades so I understand about the sacrifices of time and money required when you take on that responsibility. Does anyone have insight about caring for elderly relatives? I know several posters are actually caring for parents in their homes, are there any stories you can share about the challenges and hardships you faced? Are you happy with your choice?
Or maybe you're ferociously pro-nursing home, in which case - please tell me why.