What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Dublin Spur · 15-07-2020 11:15am

Public Floggings for petty crime / anti-social scum
Lethal injections for rapists and murders
Special military public order units in cities
Work for the dole
No Bail
Knife Crime = automatic 20 years
More Prisons
No Concurrant sentencing, consecutive sentencing per crime

that would be a good start....

SlowMotion321 · 15-07-2020 11:31am

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.

Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.

If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.

Speeders will be crushed in their car.

If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.

NWCI and pavee point abolished.

Traveller ethnic status removed

Abolish inheritance tax.

Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.

Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.

Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.

Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.

Artificial sweeteners in drinks, foodstuffs, mouthwash, chewing gum to be banned. Possession, consumption or manufacturing or said will result in death by boiling in water.

Slot machines to be banned.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me :pac:

All hail our new leader, chairman of the bitter cyclists party!

15-07-2020 12:04pm

1. I'd reintroduce manufacturing to the country. Coronavirus has proven how reliant we are on other countries for basic goods that could be easily produced here.

2. Closure of any and all tax loopholes. Happy enough to keep the 12.5% corp. tax but any company not paying it are welcome to leave. I will not be held to ransom by some Yank.

Any individual avoiding their taxes will be anchored to the bottom of Lough Derg.

3. The demolition of the HSE. It will be replaced by the H2D - an efficient, streamline, health service, which will be free at the point of use. Total abolition of private healthcare.

4. Legalisation of a number of drugs including a number of the nation's favourite; weed, cocaine, MDMA. Any drug not legalised would be decriminalised - the likes of heroine would be under this umbrella.

5. We would be a secular state. Religion would be welcome but the days of them not paying their fair share would be over. All religious iconography currently on public display would be seized.

6. Any and all natural resource extraction currently underway would be ceased. Ireland's resources, not a greedy Yank's.

7. The Spire would be replaced by a 150 ft plinth with a statue of Luke Kelly atop.

8. Nation's capital would move to it's oldest city - Waterford (for those of you not well versed in history).

9. All of the nation's favourite drink/snacks that had their recipe changed would have them returned to former glory.

10. Only Cork women will be permitted to read the news.

some random drunk · 15-07-2020 12:57pm

Everybody must strut around nude!

maherhonda · 15-07-2020 1:56pm

Naked Fridays - No clothes aloud on a Friday.

Capt'n Midnight · 15-07-2020 5:49pm

JustAThought wrote: »

Retirement state pension of 600 a week for everyone who has worked and contributed to society from the age of 50 if they should choose to want that

1.6 million people x €600 x 52 weeks is €50 Bn a year from the magic money tree.

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 5:50pm

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

1.6 million people x €600 x 52 weeks is €50 Bn a year from the magic money tree.

again, money creation is already a very magical process, no need to be making it more magical

Capt'n Midnight · 15-07-2020 5:52pm

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Doesn't require tyranny, just go to Clonmel

But you'd need tyranny. Normal people won't go there voluntarily.

whisky_galore wrote: »

Depopulate Aran Islands and use as prison colony.

That's a terrible idea.

Just put a large fence around Clonmel.

Strumms · 15-07-2020 6:33pm

SlowMotion321 wrote: »

All hail our new leader, chairman of the bitter cyclists party!

He is saddled with that for good.

Strumms · 15-07-2020 6:34pm

maherhonda wrote: »

Naked Fridays - No clothes aloud on a Friday.

Quiet clothes ok ? :cool:

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 15-07-2020 8:29pm

Children to be weighed in school.
For every 0.1 over 25.0 BMI, ten Euro of the children's allowance will be withheld. If the child reaches a BMI of 30, the primary caregiver parent will be charged with child cruelty.

Parents who let their child use a phone or tablet in the buggy will be sterilised.

Any manager who hires a customer facing staff member who doesn't speak fluent English will have their business shut down.

Public clamping to be banned for expired parking tickets and obstructive parking to be punished with the offender's car being sold at auction.

Speed ramps to be replaced with fixed average speed cameras.

One year of national service for every able bodied 17 year old man and woman.

HSE administration to be quartered.

15-07-2020 8:34pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me :pac:

A bit "out there" on some points OP, but I think we could pull it off for sure on the biking related VAT charges without any damage to the exchequer.

I mean, there won't be any future demand for those products when every cyclist who goes on the pavement is arrested and fukced under the wheels of a moving train, stupid shorts and ten euro latte thrown in after them for good measure of course.

But just to prove I'm not a bitter unforgiving El Presidente, surviving members of the footpath riding cyclists family will be given the option of a more merciful death by poisoning if they inform on other cyclists. Their bones and the rubble from their bulldozed homes will be used to pave bicycle free pedestrian routes.

Stratvs · 15-07-2020 8:36pm

Anyone leaving plastic bags of dog poo hanging from branches or dumped under the “don’t leave dog poo here signs” to be made watch reruns of fair city 24/7 for a month.

15-07-2020 8:40pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

HSE administration to be quartered.

Well... yes, but honestly, that just hasn't got the same dramatic effect without the words "hung, drawn, and..." in front of it.

Poor effort there OP, poor, poor effort!

freshpopcorn · 15-07-2020 8:43pm

Before you vote in an Election or Referendum. You'd be required to carry out a short test to see if you know what your voting for. If you fail you loose your vote.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 15-07-2020 8:43pm

Cat licences to be introduced.
Anyone who lets a cat roam will be subjected to the same punishment as a dog owner.
Mandatory microchipping of cats.

If your cat goes missing, it's your fault. If you have it microchipped, the pound will track you down so you can reclaim it. If you didn't bother microchipping it then it's your tough luck.

Randy Archer · 15-07-2020 8:43pm

Irishphotodesk wrote: »

Ooooh .... where to start with the list.

No politicians allowed into politics, we have had generations of legacy families on the gravy train, if you have had a family member elected you cannot be involved in politics at any level for at least 10years.... this removes the nepotism, the cronyism and allows greater transparency in our political structure.

If politicians are found guilty of an offence while in office, they are stripped of any pensions, sacked from their position and not permitted to re-enter any public office for 20years.

Social welfare (which was originally created as a temporary measure) should be for a maximum of 2yrs, if you cannot get any sort of a job with 2 years, you do not deserve any state handouts - obvious exceptions apply.

If convicted of a crime you are automatically suspended from receiving social welfare - why should the state pay you money if you can’t follow the rules of the state.

The longer you remain conviction free the higher any state payments are (ie. Children’s allowance, state pension etc, so a person could happily retire if they lived a crime free life, parents would encourage kids to stay out of crime during the teenage years because of the amount they would be receiving in children’s allowance)

Legal professionals to be held accountable if their client reoffends and they have successfully gotten them bail - definitely no free legal aid paid if client reoffends.

Emotive argument to be removed from court hearings, No gender or personal details out before the judge... just cold hard facts, if there is ambiguity about a fact it’s up to the judge to decide, too many times I have heard that little Johnny is expecting a child and now wishes to mend his ways (despite having 3 other kids from 2 other mothers and 89previous convictions for similar offences)

Gardai, or any public servant ... if found guilty of an offence should be stripped of pensions, sacked from job and no access to public jobs/civil service for at least 10yrs.

Repeat criminals get longer time, and no legal aid.

Sex offenders are publicly identified following conviction, let the country know who they are and let them become an outcast, on that note ALL criminals should have their image available to the media on conviction (it should automatically be issued on conviction, and should be available for the public to view)

ALL public office projects should be properly costed and the minister / civil servants involved loose their jobs/pensions if a project goes over budget, contractors should also be punished if a project costing is incorrect.

Public transport network needs to be improved, better driver education and restrictions on road usage - every road user needs to qualify for road usage,

ie.
You cannot drive a car on the road without having experience of being a cyclist and motorcyclist, and at that you have to graduate up in vehicle power, 1l, 1.2l, 1.4l etc at least 6months or even 12 months at each level, I don’t care how rich you are .... everyone needs to understand how to act on the road and needs to understand how other road users will experience the road.

Going to have to leave it here for now.... battery is at 10% and it’s only 8.30ish in the morning

Feel free to click the thumbs up if you like the concept and I will start work on a full manifesto.

Why should lawyers be held accountable for criminals re offending ? What happens if the criminal who reoffends goes to another lawyer ?

You suggesting that lawyers have voodoo dolls and cast spells over their clients to commit crime ? If that was true, they’d prefer a one and done and entice them to commit a heinous crime like murder or Some fraud That would entail many trial days in the central Court . Mickey Mouse district court cases aint paying for the steak dinner

If anyone is “accountable” it’s the family of the criminal scum . Lawyers demand their fees for work done, no different a plumber or doctor, the criminal will force themselves to steal in order to pay for the legal fees , cause lawyers ain’t going to work for free . Why should lawyers be held responsible for the actions of the scum ? They have done nothing wrong, of lawyers lie in court their career is ****ed

While the idea of suspending criminal scum of their welfare sounds like a good idea ..eh, most of the social welfare recipients fall in to the class of probable criminals and if you didn’t stop their welfare after committing a minor criminal offence , they will be inclined to get involved in more serious crime ... this ruling stuff is fierce burdensome, unintentional bleeding heart stuff, bah. In an ideal world, we’d do away with welfare all together and let the weak fend for themselves , but sadly, in the world of entitlement, these bastards would be full of envy and look to steal of their betters .

Family members following their parents or uncles in politics is inevitable . We are a small nation. Some families are vastly superior than others . Let the people decide for themselves who to vote for . They are also entitled to hire whoever they want for their team, they (the TDs staff) do the work anyway

As for arguments in court ... it is always about the facts, however the lawyer permits defences. Moreover , criminal law deals with motive ie the existence of intention and recklessness ; some crimes are worse than others . You want to keep building prisons ? That’s a lot of people you are going to throw into ...not sure I’m keen to see my tax being used in such a way - expect assassination rather quickly

moonshadow · 15-07-2020 8:48pm

All pubs to be kept shut regardless of covid compliance and community numbers, and everyone to wear a mask in my local shop that only two people can fit in.
Allow bars in Dublin to serve alcohol to random people from doorways and hatches On public streets , but not to the locals of a wee parish.

martingriff · 15-07-2020 8:51pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Before you vote in an Election or Referendum. You'd be required to carry out a short test to see if you know what your voting for. If you fail you loose your vote.

Well you are a dictator why would there be a need for elections. By a test you mean you little army who will tell them how to vote

15-07-2020 8:54pm

Just to punish my people for the craic of it I'm going to make Welsh the new national language. I haven't decided on Arabic or Cyrillic as the alphabet yet though.

freshpopcorn · 15-07-2020 8:55pm

martingriff wrote: »

Well you are a dictator why would there be a need for elections. By a test you mean you little army who will tell them how to vote

I'd be a very fair dictator as long as you don't vote for the Green Party. I'd even give Mary Lou a chance.

Come to think of it. I'd just lock Eamon Ryan for a few years for just been Eamon Ryan. I thought Shane Ross was a bad until this lad came along.

freshpopcorn · 15-07-2020 9:00pm

I'd also give Eoghan McDermott a long prison sentence!

Panthro · 15-07-2020 9:00pm

I'd get rid of the name Barbara.
Bar... Bar...Ahhh!
Bar.. bear.. ah!
Barb ara!

See? Now I've no idea how it's supposed to be pronounced.

Ban the fcuker.

15-07-2020 9:01pm

Landmines which can only be activated by bikes to be placed on pedestrian paths.

Truthvader · 15-07-2020 9:05pm

If your dog ****s on the footpath it is immediately exterminated. If you dont remove the dead body you are fined for littering

TG4 shut down and replaced with multilingual porn channel

Person who thought of second policy above (ie me) rewarded with Govt Grant of €33 million being the saving to the exchequer in year 1

Eduard Khil · 15-07-2020 9:08pm

Anyone starts a dole bashing thread is put on the dole

mikemac2 · 15-07-2020 9:11pm

Romeo & Juliet law fixed somehow

15 year boy and a 16 year old are besotted with each other and get it on

The boy could possibly become a convicted sex offender and the girl suffers no consequences at all

Section 5 of the Criminal Law Sexual Offences Act 2006 states clearly the girl will not be charged with anything

5.— A female child under the age of 17 years shall not be guilty of an offence under this Act by reason only of her engaging in an act of sexual intercourse.

Meanwhile the boys life is ruined

How did this come to pass. Michael McDowell was one of the richest barristers in Ireland before he became Minister of Justice and he still is very successful. We didn't put a teacher or farmer or whoever into Minister of Justice, instead it was a legal eagle and yet this??

mikemac2 · 15-07-2020 9:17pm

Truthvader wrote: »

If your dog ****s on the footpath it is immediately exterminated. If you dont remove the dead body you are fined for littering

Ah heyor, even Hitler was a dog lover

15-07-2020 9:32pm

mikemac2 wrote: »

Romeo & Juliet law fixed somehow

15 year boy and a 16 year old are besotted with each other and get it on

The boy could possibly become a convicted sex offender and the girl suffers no consequences at all

Section 5 of the Criminal Law Sexual Offences Act 2006 states clearly the girl will not be charged with anything

Meanwhile the boys life is ruined

How did this come to pass. Michael McDowell was one of the richest barristers in Ireland before he became Minister of Justice and he still is very successful. We didn't put a teacher or farmer or whoever into Minister of Justice, instead it was a legal eagle and yet this??

Wasn't this changed a while back?

mikemac2 · 15-07-2020 9:43pm

I did some internet searches before posting and didn't find any recent news

Always happy to be corrected

15-07-2020 9:50pm

mikemac2 wrote: »

I did some internet searches before posting and didn't find any recent news

Always happy to be corrected

I wasn't certain myself but came across this...

http://www.justice.ie/en/JELR/Pages/PR17000103

“Offences concerning sexual acts with under age children have also been restated and strengthened in this Act. However, the Act also recognises the reality of under age, consensual, peer relationships through the introduction of a ‘proximity of age’ defence. Under this provision, a person charged with an offence of engaging in a sexual act with a person between the ages of 15 and 17 years can rely on a defence where the act is consensual, non-exploitative and the age difference is no more than two years."

Limpy · 15-07-2020 9:54pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I wasn't certain myself but came across this...

http://www.justice.ie/en/JELR/Pages/PR17000103

“Offences concerning sexual acts with under age children have also been restated and strengthened in this Act. However, the Act also recognises the reality of under age, consensual, peer relationships through the introduction of a ‘proximity of age’ defence. Under this provision, a person charged with an offence of engaging in a sexual act with a person between the ages of 15 and 17 years can rely on a defence where the act is consensual, non-exploitative and the age difference is no more than two years."

O'Gorman will sort that soon enough.

15-07-2020 9:56pm

once something had been explained to somebody on boards, if they repeated their point/question as if it hadnt been addressed the. they would be permabanned and their windows smashed in for good measure.

JasonStatham · 15-07-2020 9:57pm

I'd shoot Irish people who talk like Americans, or start talking about American issues, like they're re happening in Ireland. Haha.

ChelseaRentBoy · 15-07-2020 9:57pm

maherhonda wrote: »

If you pop out a child and can't afford to house it the child will be put up for adoption or you will be given a caravan by the state to live in. Social housing would be done away with. Pay your way or feck off, people are purposely popping out children to get a free house.

Anyone on the dole and are not actively seeking work every week there welfare will be cut altogether. Proof has to be uploaded every week and any interviews done will be sent onto dole office with feedback.

We have a social house and pay our way. Imagine that..

mark_jmc · 15-07-2020 10:01pm

Anybody who heats fish up in a microwave automatically gets their genitals set on fire

ChelseaRentBoy · 15-07-2020 10:01pm

Middle and upper class people who buy drugs and then complain about working class areas being destroyed by those same drug dealers or being full of scumbags should be shot dead.

15-07-2020 10:01pm

* Irish language to be taught to anyone who wants to learn it, in a way that they'll actually learn how to speak it. Compulsory for kids up to 16.

*No more immigration unless they have a job or can support themselves; or their wife/husband can.

* Survivalism skills compulsory, as well as weapons training/martial arts for anyone able.

* As close to natural as possible regarding food; less additives as possible.

* Drugs are allowed. If it comes from the ground/a plant and can be cooked/cultivated with little to no skill/training then it's fine.

* True History to be taught and not the whitewashed version.

* Various foreign diplomats to be spread about the Country (if they want to that is - would still be importing/exporting goods to other Countries); subject to zero diplomatic immunity. Finer points to be worked out by an 'expert group'. This would lessen the chances of getting nuked by other Countries.

* Population to be no higher than 8 million.

* Buildings/dwellings to be made to a high standard. Apartments would be subject to the 'torture test'. If screams can be heard next door then there are sanctions.

*Home is a man's castle so any unwanted violation of it can be dealt with extreme prejudice at the time, or for a not ungenerous stipend can be bound and gagged for use in the 'test' as mentioned just above.

* Specially reinforced articulated lorries driven by experts, to go around the motorways early in the mornings (Extra pay on Sundays) with no obligation to take evasive action from oncoming traffic that's in the incorrect lane.

*Shorter working weeks.

*As less 'Green' bull**** as possible. The homosapien is an aberration, and being that he has reached self-awareness it's pretty much his point/ or is the inevitable conclusion to his species' existence to destroy the natural world. That's not to say that littering and the like won't be frowned upon.

* Unnatural sh1t ie pharmaceuticals are frowned upon. If similar remedy can be got from chewing on a leaf/root/plant etc from a plant/ tree then that drug's usage will be kept to a bare minimum. Will have good relations with other Countries (while not taking any crap off them), so if it can be sourced from abroad/dried etc.. then that is quite acceptable.

* The late late show will provide entertainment only. No maudlin sh1t allowed, unless it's incidental. Sanctions for the host if he/she goes off the reservation. An odd 'human interest' story for traditional purposes - don't want to lose complete touch with our heritage - as long as illness doesn't feature.

JustAThought · 16-07-2020 12:28am

Torture tests - I like it!!

Capt'n Midnight · 16-07-2020 12:50am

Deleted User wrote: »

Wasn't this changed a while back?

No.

It's still a 3 day relationship between a 13 year old and a 17 year old that caused 6 deaths.

Capt'n Midnight · 16-07-2020 12:53am

Mime artists.

A strange aversion, but there you are. Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who try to ply their art will very quickly find themselves in a scorpion pit, on one wall of which is painted the advice: Learn The Words.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 16-07-2020 9:27am

If you're caught in public without a mask you will be arrested and locked in a windowless mass cell with other unmasked people. This will be in a secret location and your family will not be informed.

corner of hells · 16-07-2020 9:53am

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

If you're caught in public without a mask you will be arrested and locked in a windowless mass cell with other unmasked people. This will be in a secret location and your family will not be informed.

A mass cell ? Would the mass be on Saturday evenings as well as Sundays ?

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 16-07-2020 10:31am

corner of hells wrote: »

A mass cell ? Would the mass be on Saturday evenings as well as Sundays ?

I said mass cell not Mass cell

Capitalisation can change the meaning

Limpy · 16-07-2020 10:51am

Id force some country to take 13 Billion. I no id probably be the world's softed dictator but it wouldn't be easy to do.

Gloomtastic! · 16-07-2020 11:41am

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

No Prods allowed in political discourse and organisation.

I would arrange a system with the UK where they could be replanted back into their home environment.

You are definitely off my Christmas card list! :rolleyes:

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 16-07-2020 6:28pm

I'd ban pedigree dog breeding.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 16-07-2020 6:36pm

Anyone who leaves milk out of the fridge will be shackled under a pipe and showered with boiling hot milk until dead. If they like warm milk so much, then that's exactly what they'll get.

Anyone who buys, sells, consumes or transports artificial sweeteners or drinks or foods containing them or aids the aforementioned or attempts to do so or hides someone doing so will be cooked alive in a largr deep fat fryer.
Same for low fat dairy products.

corner of hells · 16-07-2020 7:13pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

I said mass cell not Mass cell

Capitalisation can change the meaning

Bless you .

riclad · 16-07-2020 11:15pm

100 euro fine for those who do not pick up after their dog, 300 euro fine for parking in a space reserved for disabled drivers.
If you are a single person living in a 3bed council house, you, ll have to move into a
1 or 2 bed council flat.
You,ll get at least 2 years notice before you have to move out.
If you earn over 40 k you have to pay 150 euros rent per week if you are a council tenant.
If someone steals a car or commits burglary,
There's a minimum 2k fine even if you do not get a prison sentence.
We have the technology, all local authority houses must use at least 30 per cent recycled materials. It's possible to make bricks out of old plastic or other materials.
In America if an old house is knocked down some states mandate the old bricks or wood must be sent to a centre where it can be used again or else given to charity's who build houses
for people on low income.
In Ireland everything is just thrown into a skip.
Of course we have some laws which are not enforced since we have a shortage of Gardaí in most areas.

What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

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