She SLeeps...

It's a nice little poem but theres a few pointers I'd like to make. These aren't criticisms but just thoughts on the poem.
Firsty I think switching these 2 verses would help with the flow of the poem a lot more, it looks to me like it was almost an error and having altered and re-read it with these two verses swapped it just feels a whole lot better. The two verses I'm talking about are:

Spring months approach
your hopes are steadfast,
To see the sun again,
to feel the grass.

Old man winter he plays
a nasty trick,
Allowing the frost to melt
for a single daytrip.

Otherwise you have this transition into Spring and then suddenly this line about Winter. Theres this sort of almost mix up over winter too, at first you seem to be almost enjoying it for bringing the family together around the fire and then suddenly you're in a cold bed on your own. Also just from personal tastes the fact that the second line of nearly every verse is only one or two words makes it quite hard to read and the fact that each verse itself is pretty short makes the poem feel faster than it should, unless it's meant to feel like the year passing quickly by but a slower more reflective layout would help a lot. Heres what I would have done (I haven't altered any of the words much, just the layout):

"She Sleeps

The harshness of winter sets in,
Wishes of spring & seeing green again.
I miss nature when it slumbers 'neath the snow,
Taking time for the seedlings to grow.

The winter chill brings fire to the Hearth,
Embers burn wildly as we gather round for warmth.
Familiar aroma's fill the air, reminding us the Holiday season is so near.
From young & old the stories are told,
The laughter & tears of so many years.

Old man winter he plays a nasty trick,
Allowing the frost to melt for a single daytrip.
You jump, run & yell Hooray,
Laughing he says, I'll give you this one day.

Night falls & you think he is over,
Morning sun rises and you hoped you'd see clovers...
To your dismay you step outside
and say, Oh Mother Nature please Awake!

Alone in your bed those long winter nights,
the embers die and the chill bites.
Spring months approach
your hopes are steadfast,
To see the sun again and to feel the grass.

You'd given up hope
your dream's gone astray,
Alas, she is out of her slumber,
It's time to play!"




That's just my view of it all, hope you like the changes I made but I still think it's a pretty cool poem even if I did totally remix it

Well thats what makes poetry so great, that peoples' own views and interpretations always differ and thats why poetry has so much depth to it. I see what you mean about the whole trick aspect that Winter plays now, before I suppose I was reading it in too linear a fashion to pick up on that. Keep up the good work and I hope to read more of your stuff soon.