Online dating?

mr_fegelien · 09-08-2019 8:21pm #1

It's stereotyped to have an oversupply of desperate men and picky women but is this the truth? Do the female friends, coworkers you know have more dates irl and attention online than your male friends or is it about the same?

Upforthematch · 09-08-2019 8:25pm

Sounds about right. Lads do most of the chasing in real life and online too. Early caveman used to as well probably!

fmpisces · 09-08-2019 8:32pm

Upforthematch wrote: »

Sounds about right. Lads do most of the chasing in real life and online too. Early caveman used to as well probably!

Men enjoy the thrill of the chase though. It's once they "claim" their prize that interest starts to wane......then....next!

mr_fegelien · 09-08-2019 8:33pm

Upforthematch wrote: »

Sounds about right. Lads do most of the chasing in real life and online too. Early caveman used to as well probably!

I know a guy who has never had to chase any girls but then again, he's a stunner. 8/10 to 10/10 IMO.

mada82 · 09-08-2019 9:20pm

My experience of the apps is that women are far too picky.
I’ve had loads of first dates. Seems impossible to get a second date.
I could be a **** date but when I meet women in the pub getting a second date is much easier.

I think it gives people the illusion that they have loads of options and therefore they don’t really give anyone a fair shot. Next!

Silentcorner · 09-08-2019 9:35pm

I don't think online dating is suiting either gender (I'm not sure what it is like for the 90 or so other genders)...I remember a time when you had to call a young women's home if you wanted to see her again....now that took a lot of effort, her parents would most likely answer, just to see her again one more time!!

I think online dating probably breaks up as many couples as it puts together!!!

GiftofGab · 11-08-2019 2:28pm

Hate it... Ive no problem getting matches..no problem getting a second date but I'm a terrible texter. I always chat to girls then after a few days or so they stop texting back. Very frustrating.

Plopsu · 10-09-2019 2:05pm

joombo wrote: »

That's why I support the idea of online dating. It gives more opportunities to meet someone with similar interests.

That's certainly the theory. You may find the reality a bit different.

H3llR4iser · 11-09-2019 3:37pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

It's stereotyped to have an oversupply of desperate men and picky women but is this the truth? Do the female friends, coworkers you know have more dates irl and attention online than your male friends or is it about the same?

In theory, it's a great idea as it would sidestep the common pitfalls of "traditional ways" - from approaching somebody who's already taken to the time wasting of going out to discover the attraction to someone's "full picture" doesn't match the one you initially had for the "visual side", it should all be stuff online dating takes care about for you. Everyone on an OD app/site it expected to be single, available and to put a bit of information about themselves, other than a bunch of pictures from last trip to Malaga.

Until it all crashes against reality - profiles that are completely "visual", no descriptions / interests / anything to go by whatsoever other than the pictures, the idiotic "just ask and I'll tell" (which usually means - "just ask, and I'll tease you that I might, if I feel like, maybe imply something one day, if I really really really am in the mood"). Many users (mostly women in my experience, but then again I ONLY talk to women) mistake Tinder or POF for a "pen pals" service, engaging in endless chats that go nowhere - and, as you might have guessed it, are a spectacular waste of time.

The ratio of men:women does hover somewhere around 3:1 (various sources about that, not sure how up-to-date) and yes, it is pretty much a "candy shop" from a woman's perspective, in large part because the vast majority of men have a "carpet bombing" approach - as in, they will message/swipe right to anybody who looks like she might still have a pulse

:D:D

Still, the potential is there - see it as an "addition" to approaching a random pretty lady in a bar, who might or might not be 77% drunk...

HamSarris · 11-09-2019 11:29pm

I invested in Match Group last year, the company that owns Tinder. I did so because tinder is a perfect product in terms of generating revenue and users – It makes more and more people single and therefore more people will become dependent on it. If Tinder helped people form relationships there would be a reduced demand and lower growth in revenue.

In simple terms, Tinder keeps people single by this process: Men are hornier than women and have low standards for sex, causing them to like and message lots of women on the off chance they want to hook up. Women receive loads of likes, perceive an abundance of choice and this causes an artificial increase in their standards. For example, an average woman could easily receive 100 likes within a week. This woman isn’t going to go, “I’m an average women so I’ll guess I’ll date an average guy”. She’ll try to date the best looking guy in her matches. This process results in a small number of guys getting the majority of the dates. These guys have lots of choice so aren’t that bothered about committing to a relationship. Also, if some of these guys do want a relationship, there isn’t many of them to go around.

And on rare occasion that tinder works and leads to a relationship, on average they guy is likely to be dating downwards. If a girl chooses a guy from 500 matches and a guy chooses the girl from 20 matches, the guy is likely to be more attractive in his gender than she is in hers.

PHG · 20-09-2019 12:10pm

Was awful at it a few months ago when starting out. Now I am better, better pictures and description helped.

When I am home in Ireland will get about 2 matches a day (and no, I am no model), not saying all the matches are amazing either, but it is a numbers game. It is a different ball game living here in Scandinavia, its tough at best and could go a week without a match. I mainly match ex pats. That said I have become a lot happier being single and less stressed about dating, if it happens great, if not no worries so not on them every day anymore. This comes across on dates too.

Tinder is pure crap, I prefer using Hinge out here, more info and more effort put in on all sides. I try to pin down a date within first 3/4 texts, go on date 1 and knock it on the head straight after if not interested.

Been on 3 dates with another one, very low key but think it is about to be knocked on the head too. First time on 3 dates so that's a positive. It's all a learning curve and getting the confidence up. If you come across as needy, don't expect another date!

Dodgy Lou · 23-09-2019 7:16pm

The only attention I get is from fatties and single mothers. Absolute waste of time.

Online dating?

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