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Are you good to forgive yourself and others?

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  • 18-07-2019 3:49pm
    #1
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,260 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm generally good to leave things go with others after a very short period if they do something wrong. I suppose I'd be a tad annoyed for a short period.
    There is one more serious thing that I keep on bouncing about.

    I can be terrible at letting things go that I did tough but I generally get over it after a while.

    Are you good to forgive yourself and others?


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    #2
    mad muffin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    I may forgive but I never forget.


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    #3
    Baron Kurtz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,262 ✭✭✭Baron Kurtz


    Surely Boards people never forget and are for the most part sad, bitter petty folk, harbouring grudge after grudge :)


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    #4
    Zubeneschamali
    Registered Users Posts: 16,686 ✭✭✭✭Zubeneschamali


    Baron Kurtz wrote: »
    Surely Boards people never forget and are for the most part sad, bitter petty folk, harbouring grudge after grudge :)


    It me.


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    #5
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    mad muffin wrote: »
    I may forgive but I never forget.

    Me neither. As much as we try to forgive ourselves guilty conscience always comes back to haunt us


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    #6
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users Posts: 12,220 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    I can never stay angry for long. Live and let live. Life is too short to let things bother you and consume you.

    Fcuk Putin. Glory to Ukraine!



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    #7
    Pissartist
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 473 ✭✭Pissartist


    i never forgive myself no matter what, anything i can use to torture myself.
    Not great at forgiving others either unless it's a trivial matter


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    #8
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    For me, it depends on the transgression and the person involved. Some people I could forgive and forget for almost anything and some things are too trivial in the overall scheme of things to be annoyed about for long.


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    #9
    Strazdas
    Registered Users Posts: 18,085 ✭✭✭✭Strazdas


    I'm very good at forgiving. I hate bearing a grudge, it ends up eating you up and doing you more damage than the other person.

    The way I see it, everyone is flawed and we all mess up


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    #10
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Myself no, not really. I can remember in excruciating detail stupid or malicious things I said or did years ago.

    People close to me, yes. I have a ferocious temper myself so I'm very much inclined to forgive and forget outbursts or lashing out like that as long as it's not a pattern and is owned and apologised for. I have a friend who's currently unaware that I'm aware of a pretty sh1tty thing she attempted which would have been very bad for me, but for various reasons I just don't really care. I'm difficult enough to get close to but kind of once you're in you're in, I'm pretty loyal, I can't think of anyone who I've been actually close to and had a decisive estrangement, apart from exes.

    Strangers who were rude to me, cyclists who've clipped me, annoying customers, people who've acted the prick in the cinema though...that sh1t I hold on to for YEARS :pac:


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    #11
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Pissartist wrote: »
    i never forgive myself no matter what, anything i can use to torture myself.

    How about a pliers to the balls


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    #12
    Baron Kurtz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,262 ✭✭✭Baron Kurtz


    I once left a bad review of an establishment and deleted it the next day. Couldn't just leave it out there.


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    #13
    mad muffin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    Bobblehats wrote: »
    Me neither. As much as we try to forgive ourselves guilty conscience always comes back to haunt us

    That’s very true. Anyone that says that they can’t remember a bad thing they ever did, is an out and out liar.


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    #14
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Can never forgive myself for anything


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    #15
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    mad muffin wrote: »
    That’s very true. Anyone that says that they can’t remember a bad thing they ever did, is an out and out liar.

    Things can be hard to shrug off. I stole a jamiroquai cd on a japanese girl back in ‘94 and still I feel bad. She didn’t say nothing; just gave me that look as if where is your honour and it still freaks me out


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    #16
    con___manx1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,473 ✭✭✭con___manx1


    Im really bad at holding a grudge. Its one of my biggest flaws.


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    #17
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    I only forgive the trivial and always remember the serious.


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    #18
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    I would be very good to forgive up to a certain point..



    .but once its gone past it.......i just drop.people and dont bother talking or dealing with em and no big blow out etc,lifes too short for that


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    #19
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,485 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    Terrible.
    In-laws that fell out with 25 years ago I still have banned from my house, won’t talk to and one who has no car I regularly drive past on the road rather than give a lift to.

    Two of my sisters went out and fell out with my widowed mother and few of us within last few years. Can honestly say that I’ll probably never speak to either of them again - ever. I’m content with that.

    My life is too short to be bothering with people that have wronged me, I rarely forgive and never forget.


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    #20
    nyarlothothep
    Registered Users Posts: 5,176 ✭✭✭nyarlothothep


    Nope, many people are unforgivable. Therefore I do not forgive.


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    #21
    Franz Von Peppercorn II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn II


    I forgive myself all the time. Other people not so much. They need to up their game, other people.

    I have my eye on them.


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    #22
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    I wouldn't stew on stuff but life is also too short to make time for some people so i wouldn't bother with them


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    #23
    Hobosan
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭Hobosan


    I forgive everyone no matter what. I even have a fancy wooden box specifically for that purpose. It sounds completely mad I know, but people see the fancy wooden box and they can't help but enter and tell me all sorts of heinous stuff.


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    #24
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Am I good to forgive myself: I suppose so. :rolleyes:

    Am I good to forgive others: Yes, but not forget: I've no respect for that so called "full time student" all these years ago, 20 . Spouting phrases like "I FAST-TALKED [Lecturer] into allocating more time to our project cool yeah?" Missing 1 day per week of college term.
    "Did we miss much.....Did we miss much......did we miss much"............
    Unfortunately, I was commanded by mum with gun to my head to attend graduation:

    ........guess who I met at the gruduation.................FFSsame fool.
    My parents copped something off with him, saying "he talked too much"...

    same fecker never replied to me in 1 to 1 email.

    forgiving work colleagues for completely trashing me to the head of department: yes, but karma can bite you in the ass.


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    #25
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Forgive and forget.

    I barely remember yesterday anyway!


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    #26
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    if I am walking across a bridge with someone and they push me off, I will forgive them while I am recovering in hospital, and talk to them and care about them.. but there is no way I would ever walk across a bridge with them again. Forgiveness does not mean trust

    if you refuse to forgive it damages only you, The offender often does not give a d^^n.


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    #27
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    I sometimes forgive and sometimes forget.


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    #28
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Graces7 wrote: »
    The offender often does not give a d^^n.

    The offender often brags about it later to his clique too.


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