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Bad Relationship

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  • 06-02-2021 1:29pm
    #1
    Rj21
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Deleted


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    #2
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    You're describing a drug and drink fueled criminal, one day he'll kill or maim someone drink and drug driving but it seems completely fine to him and he was trying to brainwash you into thinking it's all normal as well.

    Showing him the door is the best thing you could do. Stay away, don't ever think about reconnecting. Keep your doors locked and your phone close in case he decides that his next drunken escapade will be to teach you a lesson.


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    #3
    Goodigal
    Registered Users Posts: 457 ✭✭Goodigal


    I think you have had a lucky escape to be honest. You have put up with so much from him. And he left without drama so that was lucky in itself. He has drink, drugs, financial, anxiety and anger issues that you don't need to witness or live with anymore. You should have broken up with him at the first signs of aggression and violence in my opinion but I wouldn't judge anyone for not having the strength to do that.

    Yes you'll be starting again, but you're young and there are many more nice guys out there that won't put you through what that idiot has. Take time out for yourself first and look after yourself.


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    #4
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,700 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    You are in your late twenties? Plenty of time to be starting over! Though any age is plenty of time.

    Sometimes these experiences are what teach us how to have respect for ourselves. Hopefully in future you will be equipped to spot red flags and run a mile, and then you won’t be in a mess like this one again.

    Unfortunately it’s very common that people think if they just love somebody enough and are good enough to them then they will stop abusing substances. You could sell your soul for him and he would still put his addictions first and by sticking around you were enabling him.

    Be glad that you have an exciting fresh start ahead of you and a chance at real mutually respectful adult love.

    You are bound to feel lonely and of course your brain is flooding you with the happy memories - recognise it as grief and allow yourself to grieve in the knowledge it will pass soon and you will have a million other chances - because you won’t let yourself get attached to a selfish destructive person again.


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    #5
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,789 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You haven't done anything that any other partner of an addict hasn't done. He hasn't said anything that any addict hasn't said.

    If you're unsure Google "Living with an addict". You'll think he has read the same site and noted down a few phrases to say!

    Just be glad that you did walk away. Eventually. Plenty of people don't. You should congratulate yourself for that.


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    #6
    happyday
    Registered Users Posts: 1,323 ✭✭✭happyday


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    You haven't done anything that any other partner of an addict hasn't done. He hasn't said anything that any addict hasn't said.

    If you're unsure Google "Living with an addict". You'll think he has read the same site and noted down a few phrases to say!

    Just be glad that you did walk away. Eventually. Plenty of people don't. You should congratulate yourself for that.

    I'd just like to add. Don't let him come back. I have a feeling he might try to.


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    #7
    QueenRizla
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭QueenRizla


    Wow agree with the poster that called this guy out as a nasty drug and drink fuelled criminal. It’s actually cringey reading all the running about and mammying you were doing, even arranging counselling. You seem to have really low self esteem and standards and very poor boundary’s. This guy was a walking red flag. Have some counselling yourself. This guy didn’t deserve any of the effort you gave. Put the same time and effort into yourself and stay away from losers till you think a little more highly of yourself. All those paragraphs about this awful guy, it’s actually embarrassing.


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