Do you talk to your neighbours?

10-07-2020 1:59am

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Talk to them all but friendlier with some.

If the sh1t hit the fan for any of us there's a choice of doors to knock on, yet we don't live in one another's pockets.

I can't understand not wanting to be on good terms with neighbours.

Hope this doesn't come across as rude, but nowadays, with perhaps the majority of people living in some sort of adjoining accommodation like apts especially and also semi-d's/terraced houses - majority with mickey mouse soundproofing - living in one another's pockets isn't a huge exaggeration...

Like someone else said "if you don't fall in you can't fall out". Get talking to your apartment neighbours and then who knows what concessions they'll expect you to make ranging from the not unreasonable to the bizarre.

Stuff like "don't have people ringing your doorbell because I can hear it and think it's for me" level of crap :mad:

Granted, people are naturally supposed to live in communities in close proximity from since the stone age but (and a slight:P exaggeration here) they're not supposed to be crammed together like sardines.

As for me, no, not so much; I do my best to shun them if anything. I'm not a complete misanthrope though, I do like a lot of people and a good few I talk to regular - but neighbours; I don't really see the percentage (for percentage read 'point', 'value' etc, and not any "gain" ) in engaging with them.

Which, while I'm here this convo reminds me of the 'olde money' big house planter types and how they're often well regarded as being friendly/valuable contributing members of the community; and good luck to them. Easy to do that though when "one" is removed from everyone else and therefore not involved in squabbles over noise or parking spots etc.. Plus they most likely have plenty of money which helps as they're less likely to need 'favours' and the like, so therefore have no need to "reciprocate". Neighbours be complaining bout how some folk be take take take and never do much to help their neighbouring fellow man/woman.

The way I see it is "not being on bad terms" with one's neighbours is pretty much good enough.

Ma 2 cents is all

10-07-2020 7:11am

It's interesting and eye-opening for me to discover just how common it is, at least on here, for people to not know their neighbours and to be of the opinion that they don't want to know them. That sort of willful social avoidance by so many people is surely at odds with the way most people lived until very recently. I wonder how many people who say they are 'happy' not knowing their neighbours also consider themselves to suffer from depression and disregard the effect on their mental health of living in an estate/street with people who mostly don't feel any mutual links with. Seems like a step backwards society-wise to me and one with mental health repercussions. Working a job you don't like to pay the mortgage for a house in a sterile neighbourhood where nobody cares about each other; that wouldnt help anyone's mental health. I suppose though that sense of lack of community is something that came about insidiously over the past few decades and for most people it would take a more conscious effort to form any kind of relationship with their neighbours in comparison to the past.

Liamo57 · 10-07-2020 8:15am

What a sad thread. Not wanting to talk to someone who is being friendly means you have a serious problem. Im glad you are not my neighbour. I live in the country and I stop and talk to everyone. I couldnt give a toss whether they like me or not.

Wanderer78 · 10-07-2020 8:19am

Liamo57 wrote:

What a sad thread. Not wanting to talk to someone who is being friendly means you have a serious problem. Im glad you are not my neighbour. I live in the country and I stop and talk to everyone. I couldnt give a toss whether they like me or not.

Some people struggle in social situations

witchgirl26 · 10-07-2020 8:47am

In the place I used to live, we knew the neighbours to wave at & say hi but that was about it. Moved into a new estate at the same time as our neighbours either side & have become quite close to them. Happily chat away in the driveways. We all have kids similar ages so they play with each other a bit. Keep an eye on their houses when they're away, take in parcels for each other, lend tools & bits & pieces. Have had a couple of bbq's & drinks too. It's been great. In fact one neighbour saved my sanity just after I had my first child by lending me a sling & showing me how to use it. At the same time, we don't always stop to have some mad long conversation when we arrive into the driveways at the same time. Both understand that we all have stuff to do & don't always have time for a chat. But always time for a smile & wave.

10-07-2020 12:47pm

Deleted User wrote: »

It's interesting and eye-opening for me to discover just how common it is, at least on here, for people to not know their neighbours and to be of the opinion that they don't want to know them. That sort of willful social avoidance by so many people is surely at odds with the way most people lived until very recently. I wonder how many people who say they are 'happy' not knowing their neighbours also consider themselves to suffer from depression and disregard the effect on their mental health of living in an estate/street with people who mostly don't feel any mutual links with. Seems like a step backwards society-wise to me and one with mental health repercussions. Working a job you don't like to pay the mortgage for a house in a sterile neighbourhood where nobody cares about each other; that wouldnt help anyone's mental health. I suppose though that sense of lack of community is something that came about insidiously over the past few decades and for most people it would take a more conscious effort to form any kind of relationship with their neighbours in comparison to the past.

That's an excellent point OnionBelt; sums up modern life and community living perfectly imo

Cee-Jay-Cee · 10-07-2020 12:55pm

I speak to them when I meet them out but I don't call over for a chat or any shiite like that. We are the only two houses on our lane and we live across the road from each other so its not like we have adjoining gardens or fence. They don't visit us either which is good, we get on well when we do meet and the current 'arrangement' appears to work well for them too.

Theres a house being built beside/behind us at the moment and I have met the people building it and they're friendly and nice people but I don't plan on being best buddies or anything like that with them.

10-07-2020 12:58pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I speak to them when I meet them out but I don't call over for a chat or any shiite like that. We are the only two houses on our lane and we live across the road from each other so its not like we have adjoining gardens or fence. They don't visit us either which is good, we get on well when we do meet and the current 'arrangement' appears to work well for them too.

Theres a house being built beside/behind us at the moment and I have met the people building it and they're friendly and nice people but I don't plan on being best buddies or anything like that with them.

Looks like you 'have it solved'

Now where's that jealousy emoji :P

r93kaey5p2izun · 10-07-2020 1:08pm

I have a love/hate, mostly hate relationship with most of them. I know them all but I prefer privacy and not talking to them. I'm not interested in making friends with neighbours. They are quite a close knit community though. Most of them are alright but many of them are scumbags tbh - drug dealers, criminals, etc. More than one murderer! A lot of antisocial behaviour and it pays to be on friendly terms to avoid the worst of that. There's a weird sort of loyalty thing too. Like, one might have given you hassle on the road, yet see them elsewhere and they'll give you a friendly nod. They would also come to your assistance if they saw you being hassled elsewhere, even though they've done the same themselves at home.

Do you talk to your neighbours?

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