Haven't touched a drop in...

3 days.

I thought i was acing the lockdown. Turns out the pleasure the few cans or glasses that helped round off a busy day of working from home were just feeding into anxiety and negativity. It disappeared in the morning and built throughout the day, temporarily alleviated by alcohol in the evening. The number of drinks went from a few a week before the lockdown, to 1 or 2 a night, then 2 or 3, 3 or 4, as many as 6, plus more at the weekend.

I find whether among people or nature my mind is elsewhere. I'm looking at a garden i didnt maintain, a shed i didnt clear out, clothes i didnt put away, books i haven't read.

I had a call with my gp today and will be picking up a prescription tomorrow, as well as having a call with a counsellor tomorrow. On sick leave the rest of this week, hopefuly a week back at work without emergencies, and then into the first annual leave I took all year that I wasn't checking my work phone.

anniewilkes wrote: »

Day 85 - feeling good, lots of ups and downs though but coming out on the other side.

Decided it would be a good time to start focusing on exercise and healthy eating

Misery is alive!!! :D:D:D Sorry

Coming up to 2 months myself. Longest I've been on the wagon was 4 months in the last 30 odd years but i think this hiatus from the booze might be a permanent one hopefully.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm at around 3 1/2 years..
tbh I don't miss it,..drunk people annoy me, but I kind of do find I miss the social aspect..
Do kind of half miss the odd meeting the last while too..
It's surely tough for anyone trying to stop now..

Hopefully meeting will resume soon, the social side is hard I’m not a drinker (bf was) and even I miss the social side at times but then I think about it the first half hour is grand then it just gets tedious. Which is why it’s so important to take up new things, and not just done random hobby. Things that will challenge you and trying stuff that you’d maybe be too nervous to try but have always wanted to have a go at. Pushing your limits and setting goals.

I'm off it 4.5 years now, my 4th attempt to give it up permanently.

I had many, many reasons to give it up not just 1. As time passes some reasons that were not too important at the time seem the most important now, and vice versa.

One of the ones that feels very important now was one time I was drinking at a weekly event that I used to really enjoy. I was in my mid 30's and I was on my own at it, which doesn't help. But I was bashing away at the beers as one does.

Then I got onto that magical 3rd beer and the head buzz started, the head buzz that used to indicate that a great night was about to be had. And as it came over me, I felt, and said out loud "this isn't fun anymore".

What I've thought about since, and this is my just my own thoughts on it, is that what makes drinking great when we are young is that we have the energy of youth. And the booze makes us giddy. It is this giddiness that is where the fun is, not the drinking in and of itself.

It used to be both, drinking and then getting drunk and giddy and then having fun.

As the years tick by we don't have the energy of youth. We drink, get drunk, but we simply don't have the energy to get giddy and thus we only have a fraction of the fun we had when we were 20. And of course you can add possibly drinking more to get drunker to try and get that giddiness, and hangovers that are far worse along with possibly a whole bunch of other disadvantages.

Maybe it was just me, but recognising that the fun giddy times are gone and are not coming back simply because of my age helps me to hopefully never pick up a drink again.

CBear1993 wrote: »

Good to hear, encouraging!

Did you take up any new hobbies after it or how do you unwind now, do you have any new found vices :D I would usually turn to alcohol in good weather, when a big sports even is on, or if I had a stressful week at work.

I started going to the gym, swimming, just being more fit, health conscious . sociable and having a lot of cash to travel and treat myself and loved ones with nice things rather then donate my cash to a business in return for a glass of liquid.

Like you if I wanted to de-stress , alcohol, or more the pub was a nice little way of doing that. It ended up being a stress fest of a job so yeah. It was a sleep aid too. I’ve always been a terrible insomniac, but quitting alcohol and a stress fest of a job has alleviated that for the most part.

No new vices, yet.

Hey Chalk.

My first 3 times giving up "permanently" all lasted around 4 ½ months. The first time was horrible, really difficult, I was not "living sober" I was "not drinking". I was white-knuckling it the whole way, I was absolutely miserable at the end.

I figured, and it was the truth, that no matter how bad my drinking was it was better than being as miserable as this sober, so I started drinking again with no regrets. Then after a few years I had a catastrophic night out drinking, gave up for another 4 ½ months, maybe it was slightly easier but it didn’t feel too much like it at the time. After 4 ½ months of drinking I felt the same as the first time I just thought fupp this I’m going back drinking.

But then only about 4months after that I had another disastrous night drinking and I gave it up again, and this was maybe a little bit easier, I was still a bit bored. I took up running but those first two times sober were a good experience when you have that behind you it’s easier to give up, but I wasn't bursting with happiness 24/7 like I thought and expected.

Then after 4 ½ months sober I thought to myself well maybe this is the way I will go, I’ll just have a bad time drinking, give it up for a few months ,then go back drinking.

I’m drinking for the rest of that year, I was thinking, "God could I give it up? is it better to give it up? I can’t really" I had a holiday booked and there were a couple of nights where I did way stupider things in my mid 30s then I was at 18.

I went on holiday that year even though I had 4 ½ months sober earlier in the year I realised I didn’t achieve anything and I wasn’t making progress towards my goals. I just realised that by drinking I’m never going to achieve my goals and first I had to make them!. Where I wanted to be in one years time, so I was thinking more about the future and I just couldn’t see any benefits in drinking.

I posted here a few pages back that I had realised that drinking wasn’t fun anymore, so it all "clicked" is the best way to describe it. Other drinkers will say the same thing, so I think that the 4 ½ months you did is huge I think most of my drinking friends would find the damn near impossible to do.

Even though you went back drinking you’re on the wagon now, it will be a lot easier, at the minimum it will be a tiny bit easier this time even if you don’t realise it. The longer you are sober the more you get used to sobriety but it just takes time and right now 4 ½ years later, of being sober I’m so glad I gave up because the good times drinking are gone. I know how I feel now at 40, I’m so glad I’m not punishing my body with your standard Irish binge drinking that people do, so I say good luck to you and everyone on here.