Communication problem with manager.

MartyMcFly84 · 22-10-2019 2:02pm #1

Hi Guys,

Will try and keep this brief.

I was away for two weeks on leave. Before I left my boss and I had a meeting where is was verbally agreed he would cover x,y,z and not to worry about P because he would not expect me to do it as I way away for a lot go the month.

I came back to only Z being covered as it was a must that would effect everyone in the company. I had lots and lots to catch up on while I was away. I was then asked why X,Y,P were not done. I said I thought my boss was covering it was denied and I was pulled into a meeting where it was suggested I had made that up.

It was also suggested I he never said other things that I am sure that he did. The two of us coming away from other conversations with different views on what was said. It is made out like I am hearing things and I am at fault.

We sit very close to each other so communication is very verbal and it can be awkward ask for emails.

Has anyone else had this issue? I did bring it up in my last review and I asked for more written instruction but nothing has changed, any suggestions on how to handle this?

Princess Calla · 22-10-2019 2:30pm

After each meeting a one or two line email along the lines "as per meeting 22/10/2019 a,b,c was agreed "

Then when going on holidays send a small update about tasks X,y,z and say thanks for covering.

It's a right pain but something I'm learning has to be done.

banie01 · 22-10-2019 2:33pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

After each meeting a one or two line email along the lines "as per meeting 22/10/2019 a,b,c was agreed "

Then when going on holidays send a small update about tasks X,y,z and say thanks for covering.

It's a right pain but something I'm learning has to be done.

This along with putting your nominated POC for each task/project on your OOO.
I.e I'm away until the 21/11, if you need assistance or updates regarding xyz, contact abc.

antix80 · 22-10-2019 2:38pm

MartyMcFly84 wrote: »

I said I thought my boss was covering it

<snip>I did bring it up in my last review and I asked for more written instruction but nothing has changed

It sounds like he didn't do his job as work didn't get done while you were away.

That being said, if you met him instead of blaming him you could have sung from the same hymn-sheet. Instead you tried to throw him under the bus. How did that work out for you? You got pulled into a meeting.

If you gave him a chance, he could have blamed "unforeseen issues" for P not getting done. X could probably be caught up on by you and other team members on your return with little annoyance. And Y could have been late but "steps put in place to stop it happening again, we apologise for any inconvenience caused."

Instead you said "My manager said he'd do x, y and p and he didn't do any of it". That wasn't smart.

You're not blameless either for the breakdown in communication. You were going away a long time and should have known who'd be performing the work while you were away in order to do a "handover".

SirChenjin · 22-10-2019 2:39pm

Princess Calla wrote: »

After each meeting a one or two line email along the lines "as per meeting 22/10/2019 a,b,c was agreed "

Then when going on holidays send a small update about tasks X,y,z and say thanks for covering.

It's a right pain but something I'm learning has to be done.

Yes, agree with all of this.
I had to do this with one manager I worked with. We sat two desks away from one another (similar to your scenario, where most interaction was verbal) but literally after any meeting, I would email - as agreed, x and y. Otherwise I would have ended up in a situation like yours - I learned the hard way too.

MartyMcFly84 · 22-10-2019 4:01pm

It sounds like he didn't do his job as work didn't get done while you were away.

That being said, if you met him instead of blaming him you could have sung from the same hymn-sheet. Instead you tried to throw him under the bus. How did that work out for you? You got pulled into a meeting.

If you gave him a chance, he could have blamed "unforeseen issues" for P not getting done. X could probably be caught up on by you and other team members on your return with little annoyance. And Y could have been late but "steps put in place to stop it happening again, we apologise for any inconvenience caused."

Instead you said "My manager said he'd do x, y and p and he didn't do any of it". That wasn't smart.

You're not blameless either for the breakdown in communication. You were going away a long time and should have known who'd be performing the work while you were away in order to do a "handover".

Thanks for the feedback, I should clarify here we are on a two person team. When he asked me why the items were not done after I came back, I said back to him that he said he would cover I while away. He then pulled me in to a meeting and said he never said that.

I did not speak to anyone else outside of my manager on this.

antix80 · 22-10-2019 4:06pm

OK, so you're saying he knew you were going away, he approved your AL, he's your manager, and when you came back nothing got done? Who did he think was going to do it?

MartyMcFly84 · 22-10-2019 4:15pm

Yes, agree with all of this.
I had to do this with one manager I worked with. We sat two desks away from one another (similar to your scenario, where most interaction was verbal) but literally after any meeting, I would email - as agreed, x and y. Otherwise I would have ended up in a situation like yours - I learned the hard way too.

Thanks guys, I will get into a habit of writing actions after meetings and sending them back to him.

There is a lot a "by the way" while walking past, or work info sprinkled amid conversation. Which is a bit harder to draft an email back on. We are supposed to have a weekly one to one but I can count on one hand how many we have had in the last two years.

MartyMcFly84 · 22-10-2019 4:24pm

OK, so you're saying he knew you were going away, he approved your AL, he's your manager, and when you came back nothing got done? Who did he think was going to do it?

He said he has no problem with people taking two weeks off (first time I took a longer leave since being company to get married). But he expects the work to get done when I am back. I got pulled into a meeting about a week after I had gotten back.

We had very little time to close for the month when I came back and I honestly have no idea when he thought I was going to do the items he said he would cover and then didn't, (and then said he never said he would). He did 1 item being critical. But not anything else which built up considerably while I was away

Bob Harris · 22-10-2019 5:16pm

When you got pulled into a meeting, was it just you and him or was there anyone else present?

SirChenjin · 23-10-2019 12:21am

MartyMcFly84 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I will get into a habit of writing actions after meetings and sending them back to him.

There is a lot a "by the way" while walking past, or work info sprinkled amid conversation. Which is a bit harder to draft an email back on. We are supposed to have a weekly one to one but I can count on one hand how many we have had in the last two years.

I would start setting up the one to ones. I would also keep a notepad beside me and jot down any 'by the way' stuff that comes by*.

And include it in subsequent emails and in the the one to one meetings.
Not everyone is cut out to be a manager and some people get promoted well beyond their capabilities.

*I speak from experience, believe me.

beauf · 23-10-2019 1:41am

You've been sucker punched. The manager will do it again. Do everything the others have said.

But do your best to move team. This manager is not a team player. They are toxic. You need to get as far away from their sphere as possible. A lateral move if possible. Might take you a while to do. But start planning now.

Treat everyday like you are a contractor billing per hour and have to account for your time at the end of each week. In a report. It's a good habit to get into.

Princess Calla · 23-10-2019 8:53am

To be honest I hate the advice of move teams or leave the company.

However as someone who has gone through this messing and put up with it as I loved the actual work I was doing, I too would advise to start putting out feelers and start looking elsewhere.

As long as they are on a higher level than you they will always get the last word.

I wish I had moved when I was given an option, but my situation turned more complex.

MartyMcFly84 · 23-10-2019 2:24pm

To be honest I hate the advice of move teams or leave the company.

However as someone who has gone through this messing and put up with it as I loved the actual work I was doing, I too would advise to start putting out feelers and start looking elsewhere.

As long as they are on a higher level than you they will always get the last word.

I wish I had moved when I was given an option, but my situation turned more complex.

Thanks everyone I really appreciate the suggestions and feedback which I will bring into my day to day.

As Princes mentioned above I am in a similar situation, I am reluctant to leave because its a great growing company with lots of future plans, and I get on with everyone else here including the rest of management. However I have a feeling my direct manager will not change his ways and it will be a case of managing my relationship/communication with him on a daily basis. I will take your advice on board and start putting out some feelers.

MartyMcFly84 · 23-10-2019 2:25pm

When you got pulled into a meeting, was it just you and him or was there anyone else present?

It was just me and him at the end of day when most people had left the office.

Communication problem with manager.

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