Dad moments

JupiterKid · 26-09-2018 3:16pm

My father was an absolutely brilliant man and also my rock. He did so much for me. He was fearless, direct, honest, a man of integrity, a real example of what a good father can and should be.

He worked very hard so that my family wanted for nothing. He made lots of sacrifices so that we would be happy, secure and comfortable. My dad always told me that he was proud of me and my achievements even when he should have been ashamed of me. He told me to chase my dreams and never ever give up.

Gone four years now.

There's not a single day when I don't think of him or miss him.

Shenshen · 26-09-2018 3:17pm

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

WTF is wrong with some people ?

We had pet chickens and when one was sick my dad sent me to the shops rather than I see anything. Good dads protect kids from that s**t.

Some people are nasty, sick bastards.
Fathering children rarely changes that

homosapien91 · 26-09-2018 3:39pm

Love reading people's stories about their dads and feel sad about the ones who do not speak with their dad anymore, I lost my dad when I was very young so didn't really know him, what I would give to spend one day with the him to ask all the questions I've had in my head all these years, my mam doesn't like to talk about it too much

26-09-2018 3:43pm

TheBody wrote: »

Growing up on a farm, I never understood why my Dad made me follow him around and watch him fix things and come up with solutions to various problems. I was jealous of my school friends who always seemed to be out playing while I was working with him.

Fast forward to two years ago, I bought my house. I quickly realised that it was virtually impossible to find an available tradesman to do any of the many small jobs around my house. I decided to simply do them all myself. It occurred to me that the reason I knew how to do so many jobs and was skilled with so many tools was all down to my father.

He passed away 4 years ago and I think of him EVERY day and miss him to bits.

Sorry, I have to go. I seem to have something in my eye.

No doubt he was a great man. Opposite to my aul lad though. Loved DIY but was terrible at it. I mean properly dreadful. Himself and the next door neighbour chanced their arms building a dividing wall....with gallons of cider as refreshments. It was a disaster but its still standing!

Youngish men back then. He also supervised anything I did with any car, or in the house. I'm a jack of all trades but a master of one. Sparks! The aul lad was so happy the day the cert came through the door.. My car, his car, sisters car, brothers car. He was always there telling me what to do. He was always wrong, but he was always there. I'd kill to have him stand, do nothing or give out to me while I'm under his car.

Malayalam · 26-09-2018 3:48pm

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

No doubt he was a great man. Opposite to my aul lad though. Loved DIY but was terrible at it. I mean properly dreadful. Himself and the next door neighbour chanced their arms building a dividing wall....with gallons of cider as refreshments. It was a disaster but its still standing!

Youngish men back then. He also supervised anything I did with any car, or in the house. I'm a jack of all trades but a master of one. Sparks! The aul lad was so happy the day the cert came through the door.. My car, his car, sisters car, brothers car. He was always there telling me what to do. He was always wrong, but he was always there. I'd kill to have him stand, do nothing or give out to me while I'm under his car.

My Dad built a big house from the foundations up (including digging them) and did every single job that went into it, electrics, plumbing, woodwork, everything to the last nail. He could fix anything from a car to a hairdryer to a whole factory on shut down. The only thing he couldn't get a handle on at all was the smallest task of housework :P

Lorelli! · 26-09-2018 3:51pm

Malayalam wrote: »

My Dad built a big house from the foundations up (including digging them) and did every single job that went into it, electrics, plumbing, woodwork, everything to the last nail. He could fix anything from a car to a hairdryer to a whole factory on shut down. The only thing he couldn't get a handle on at all was the smallest task of housework :P

Yea well Malayalam, my dad built Boards.i.e. So there!

RocketRaccoon · 26-09-2018 3:54pm

Left my mother while she was pregnant.
Adopted by another man when I was 2, didn't find out until I was 16, he was grand until him and my mom got divorced. Nowadays, absolutely useless.

I've promised myself that my kids will never ever think of me the way I think of him, I'll make sure I'm a proper father to them so they don't put up with the crap I did.

My grandfather was my hero, an incredible man who I idolised.

PlaneSpeeking · 26-09-2018 4:02pm

homosapien91 wrote: »

Love reading people's stories about their dads and feel sad about the ones who do not speak with their dad anymore, I lost my dad when I was very young so didn't really know him, what I would give to spend one day with the him to ask all the questions I've had in my head all these years, my mam doesn't like to talk about it too much

My own dad lost his dad when he was 11, I believe it made him cherish the time he had with me just in case.

My condolences.

PlaneSpeeking · 26-09-2018 4:05pm

RocketRaccoon wrote: »

Left my mother while she was pregnant.
Adopted by another man when I was 2, didn't find out until I was 16, he was grand until him and my mom got divorced. Nowadays, absolutely useless.

I've promised myself that my kids will never ever think of me the way I think of him, I'll make sure I'm a proper father to them so they don't put up with the crap I did.

My grandfather was my hero, an incredible man who I idolised.

"Dad" may not refer to someone's biological father as such, like your case - my mother's mother died giving birth and my grandfather could not cope and remarried in short order.

The step mother hated my mother and doted on her own son, expecting Granddad to do likewise. Shamefully he did.

My mother was raised by her uncle who she called Dad and who gave her away at her wedding. Dads are men who step up.

yourdeadwright · 26-09-2018 4:08pm

No real story to share as there's to many , but the one moment that sums up my Da for me,
When my first child was born I remember sitting there holding her for the first time thinking and hoping, " If I'm half as good at being a dad as my own father , then that's more than enough "

Rx713B · 26-09-2018 4:11pm

We go for a pint every Thursday together - Some days we have a right oul chat other days we may not either way we enjoy the time together. I grew up working for him and I made it clear I wanted to be seen as an employee and not the bosses son. He agreed and we built our work relationship that way outside of work he's my best friend.

Malayalam · 26-09-2018 4:29pm

Lorelli! wrote: »

Yea well Malayalam, my dad built Boards.i.e. So there!

Hehe :P If true, I know someone close to me who met him in the past so.. :pac: The six degrees of separation never fails.

Irish Guitarist · 26-09-2018 4:42pm

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

WTF is wrong with some people ?

We had pet chickens and when one was sick my dad sent me to the shops rather than I see anything. Good dads protect kids from that s**t.

My father was okay for the most part. For instance he never raised a hand to any of us. I was born in 1976 and am the youngest of six children. I think it's fairly unusual for a father in the sixties and seventies to never lay a hand on their kids.

In other ways though it was hard to figure out what was going on his head. He didn't think much of animals (apart from small birds). He used to shoot crows that were just flying around.

He had a bizarre sense of humour too which made bringing friends to my house a problem. For instance he once threw a knife at my friend as we were walking out the door. It was his intention to miss my friend and just scare him but if he had turned back his eye would have been gone. He used to do the same to my sisters boyfriends and the wall was full of knife holes.

I knew he loved me but it was hard to relate to him. I don't want to portray him as a terrible person as he wasn't. For the most part he was decent but sometimes I think about some of the things he did and wonder what the hell was going on in his head.

RocketRaccoon · 26-09-2018 4:46pm

Rx713B wrote: »

We go for a pint every Thursday together - Some days we have a right oul chat other days we may not either way we enjoy the time together. I grew up working for him and I made it clear I wanted to be seen as an employee and not the bosses son. He agreed and we built our work relationship that way outside of work he's my best friend.

This is exactly what I want when mine grow up.

Lorelli! · 26-09-2018 4:55pm

Malayalam wrote: »

Hehe :P If true, I know someone close to me who met him in the past so.. :pac: The six degrees of separation never fails.

I was messing. It was a compliment to your dad though

Maybe it was just us but when we were kids, say if you were in the playground or somewhere and waiting for a go on the swing. You'd say to the other kid on the swing "c'mon it's my shot" and then you'd get into an argument and one kid would throw the "my dad built these swings" in and the other one would say "well my dad built the slide" and then some random kid would come along declaring their dad had built the whole playground

Malayalam · 26-09-2018 5:02pm

Lorelli! wrote: »

I was messing. It was a compliment to your dad though

Maybe it was just us but when we were kids, say if you were in the playground or somewhere and waiting for a go on the swing. You'd say to the other kid on the swing "c'mon it's my shot" and then you'd get into an argument and one kid would throw the "my dad built these swings" in and the other one would say "well my dad built the slide" and then some random kid would come along declaring their dad had built the whole playground

Hahaha sorry I have a habit of taking things literally.

It's sad some of the stories where Dads were bad eggs. They can fcuk you up, your Mam and Dad, as the line goes. They were our gods when we were helpless.

gmisk · 26-09-2018 5:08pm

My dad and myself aren't what a lot of people would consider close. He had a fairly tough upbringing.
The first thing he says when I ring is. "I will get your mum".
I do now have huge respect for him though, he worked abroad til I was 16 to try and make a better life for us, which couldn't have been easy.

Oh he is a plumber though and he did a brilliant job putting in new radiators in the house

DEFTLEFTHAND · 26-09-2018 5:14pm

Mine has funny little quirks and idiosyncrasies that crack me up.

For instance he uses 'gob****e' as a term of endearment for people.

corner of hells · 26-09-2018 5:19pm

My Dad died in a Vietnamese prisoner of war camp in the early 70s , apparently he fell out of a watchtower , drunk as a lord.

I'm supposed to have some of traits , like telling ridiculous lies and having a daft sense of humour.

ArnoldJRimmer · 26-09-2018 5:28pm

In late 2016 and early 2017, my Dad started to lose weight at an alarming rate. He always had a belly on him, so it was scary to see him all of a sudden looking so gaunt. Throughout 2017, doctors and consultants in both Ireland the UK seemed to complete every test known to man on him, but could not find a diagnosis. In the meantime he found it impossible to eat, and started to become confused and depressed, probably due to malnutrition. I live in the US, and my parents were due to visit in September 2017, where we had planned a road trip, and some time in my new house. Instead, I was making multiple trips home to Ireland as we were all fearing the worst.

Then, in around November/ December, out of desperation we asked the doctors to just start any kind of treatment that might help. All along, we thought it likely to be a blood disorder despite the tests showing up nothing, so they started pumping him with a cocktail of drugs to see what would happen. And amazingly, within six weeks, he was well enough to leave the hospital. It was slow and steady progress through the new year, but by around March, he was his old self again. To this day, we are not exactly sure what caused the illness

I've just spent a fantastic few weeks with my parents that this time last year was unimaginable. A road trip where he guided me (only recently got my first licence) across numerous states, and I taught him how to use google maps. The recent storms brought down a chunk of tree at my house and we spent time clearing it up and sawing the branches into manageable pieces, while he gave me advice on how to treat the wooden fence. Even just going for a few pints and having a laugh, I will never take for granted the time I spend with my father again.

26-09-2018 5:31pm

I'm actually in tears reading some of these posts. That wasn't my intention.

Pawwed Rig · 26-09-2018 5:31pm

Ah lads. I managed 3 posts on this thread and can't read anymore.

My Dad would have been a fun Grandad for my 2.

_Kaiser_ · 26-09-2018 5:44pm

My dad wasn't around from when I was about 7 and died in the mid-90s so he simply wasn't a factor really.. I became the man of the house in a lot of ways while my mother worked shifts (back in the days when kids could mind their younger siblings without child services or whatever being called).

Mam (as I've posted before) had her own problems and so while we were provided for, I wouldn't really call it a family. She died a few years ago as well but I always promised myself that if I ever had kids, it would be different.

Now that I'm a dad myself, I have to admit that the hugs and kisses and "love you daddy" from my 6 year old little fella make it all worthwhile.

HalloweenJack · 26-09-2018 6:05pm

My parents separated when I was one and I've had very little contact with my father in the nearly thirty years sinc.

At times I feel sad about it, especially seeing the stories here, but then I remember the person my father is and I think it's for the best that things turned out the way they did. He has lots of problems but he doesn't take responsibility for them. Personality-wise, there's a big difference as well, which makes me feel that if we weren't biologically connected, I would avoid having anything to do with him whatsoever.

Another poster mentioned something similar: if my da taught me one thing, it's to avoid ending up like him.

suicide_circus · 26-09-2018 6:08pm

he's a funny fish

getting more like him day by day

Temptamperu · 26-09-2018 6:11pm

Doing magic mushrooms with your dad is cool.

26-09-2018 6:38pm

To my knowledge, he has never put himself first. During the darkest times recently, his concern was for others though he was the one who'd lost most. That sums him up. No matter where I am or what's happened, I know I only have to pick up the phone and my dad would move heaven and earth to get to me and fix things. I hope he knows that now I'm a grown up, the reverse is also true. The safety of that unconditional love has underpinned my whole life.

I'm 31, but as the youngest of the family he still calls me his little sweetie and I don't mind even the tiniest bit, because one day I won't be his little sweetie anymore, and that will be the saddest day of my life.

RocketRaccoon · 26-09-2018 6:46pm

HalloweenJack wrote: »

My parents separated when I was one and I've had very little contact with my father in the nearly thirty years sinc.

At times I feel sad about it, especially seeing the stories here, but then I remember the person my father is and I think it's for the best that things turned out the way they did. He has lots of problems but he doesn't take responsibility for them. Personality-wise, there's a big difference as well, which makes me feel that if we weren't biologically connected, I would avoid having anything to do with him whatsoever.

Another poster mentioned something similar: if my da taught me one thing, it's to avoid ending up like him.

The main thing from having an awful father is to make sure I can never be considered the same. I've told people before that if he was to die tomorrow it wouldn't affect my life in any way at all and they couldn't understand it but its the truth. He attempted suicide a few times, he called me the first time and told me what he had taken and where he was, I went to him. Any time after that I just left him to it.

wexie · 26-09-2018 6:58pm

retro:electro wrote: »

Can’t even go there. Wish things could have been different.

Some lovely posts here.

yeah....me neither....:(

I'll just sit on the sidelines here and be a bit envious of all the nice stories.
And sympathetic to all the not so nice ones.

Shenshen · 26-09-2018 7:03pm

retro:electro wrote: »

Can’t even go there. Wish things could have been different.

Some lovely posts here.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like having had a decent father. But I can't imagine it. I suppose your families shape you so much, for good or ill, it becomes impossible to think of them in a different way. I don't know who I'd be if I had had a nice, loving, supporting father, but I know I would not be the person I am now. And for all the trauma, that's still a rather scary thought.

Dad moments

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