Thanks a lot, won't involve our daughter at all, but she is really annoyed and wants to get stuck in her self! She loves her brother and won't stand for this - though I know she wants to keep the money.
Its not the money thats the problem at all, its that she sent a gift to one and not the other.
This is in no way an opportunity to reconcile, his birth would have been the perfect place for this and I really tought she'd come around - of her own 2 children it was always "Her boy" who was the favourite so I thought her boys boy would be too much of a draw. But not to be.
As for why she's not talking to us - thats a long story but it came to a head on our wedding day when she refused to sit at the top table with us and instead sat at another table with her back to us the whole time. My husband was furious and said no more contact unless she called us, which she hasn't
Sorry for the misleading title I was in a rush and peed off!!
I have decided to wait until the next post after christmas and if there is nothing for the baby I will return the card & money with a polite note saying thanks but we will not accept the gift if she is not going to recogise the baby.
I hope it puts her in her place andgets the point accross, she treats my sister in law and her kids as she pleases (you would think I was making it up!) but she's dealing with me now.