Originally Posted by coadyj
Just stop having sex with him unless he does something everyday, and by something I mean anything, get out of the house for a few hours, apply for a job, clean the house etc
Tell him you don't want to sleep with someone you don't respect.
Jesus, that sounds like the worst idea ever. i don't think that driving home your growing lack of respect is going to help someone who clearly is waning in self respect in the first place.
OP, I know what it's like to lose your job, and it didn't even happen to me when times were as harsh as they are now. It's incredibly demoralising to have to wake up every morning with nothing to do but tell people on the internet all day how badly you want to work for them and how great you'll be, and hearing nothing back. It's very easy to give in to the despair and lose all motivation to find anything, and then it becomes a vicious circle.
You sound like you've been great with helping him apply for jobs and making sure he doesn't lack social interaction for want of money, and I'm sure deep down he's really grateful. But there's a real sense of shame in losing a job for a lot of people, whether it's their fault or not, and a sense of helplessness in times like these when they can't just go back out there and pick up another as was possible when times were good. I would imagine that it's even worse for a guy's sense of pride (don't mean to be too sexist - I'm a girl) but I do think the whole breadwinner aspect of life is still ingrained in men more so than women.
My advice would maybe be to try and get someone else subtely involved - is he close to his parents or does he have any close friends who could help you to motivate him? If the prodding keeps coming from you and only you, it may feel like you're nagging, even though you only want what's best.
It might also be an idea to sit him down and tell him gently that you can't continue to finance all the nights out/bills etc and that you guys will have to curb expenditure unless he gets out there a bit more. It might be the kick start he needs.
I don't think there's any excuse for him leaving the place in a mess and doing no house work though. The least he can do with you being so supportive is help keep the place decent. THere's nothing worse than coming home to a pig sty when the other person has been there all day and hasn't lifted a finger, so I would enforce that point with him.