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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭emmabrighton


    8 days... this time last week was my Xmas party. A night of making a show of myself followed by the horrors and the fear and a general slow brain week.

    I remembered telling myself last Saturday that I’ve never woken up the next day wishing I had drank more.

    I’ll be proud of myself tomorrow


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    Almost 7 weeks. 1st time waking up hangxiety free on a Christmas day in 30 years!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 30 Chopinlist66


    Dear All, New year's greetings, and hope you are all doing well.

    It's been a long time since I posted here, fighting the good fight against the booze.
    Update: Have developed a major allergy to wine, which is all I drank anway, but I could go into the second bottle quite easily, with all the complications the following day that this brings with it.

    Had started coming out in hives all over after the day I drank, didn't think there was a connection between it and the hives, thought it was something else, some other trigger.

    Anyway, i gave up wine for a week, and no hives. Visited my GP who knows of my struggle with the vino, and said he thought it might be the sulfites in wine. Fast forward to the family gathering day before yesterday. Decided to have wine with dinner, and lost count. Fell into bed, don't remember much. On the journey home I became covered with the worst rash from head to toe, was just like my body/skin had been stung by bees. My voice went, started having trouble breathing, was beginning to wheeze, and was not feeling at all well. Went straight into AE, said it was the worst rash they had ever seen, and whilst they couldn't precisely pinpoint the wine, they said it certainly must have been, given my history. Apparently you can suddenly develop an allergy at any point in your life. I post this as a warning, as I prob had warning signs all along and ignored them, such as stuffy nose, chest wheeze ( I do have mild asthma) and a burning sensation under my skin. I see this as my breakthrough, as my experience yesterday was a life-threatening allergic reaction. I also see it as a blessing in disguise. It was only a matter of time before something majorly serious went wrong. So, it looks as though this is the end of the line with me and alcohol. And I am relieved. Next time, it could be a full blown anaphylactic reaction.
    Wishing you all well, wherever you are on your journey x


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,507 ✭✭✭tinpib


    4 years today.

    I know I have missed out on nothing by not drinking and even after all this time I am still amazed at how refreshed I feel every morning.

    I don't think we are designed to have a hangover of some description nearly every morning of our adult lives like I had for too many years.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    tinpib wrote: »
    4 years today.

    I know I have missed out on nothing by not drinking and even after all this time I am still amazed at how refreshed I feel every morning.

    I don't think we are designed to have a hangover of some description nearly every morning of our adult lives like I had for too many years.

    Well done.
    I'd say this thread will be hopping the next few days.
    New beginnings and all. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Over 8 years off it. My only regret is I didn't do it sooner, I would have saved a lot of money, been a better friend and not lived my best years in a cloud.

    I don't miss it but I do miss the opportunity a night out gives to bond with people. It shouldn't be like that but it is in Ireland and it seems you only really get to know someone over a few beers. So in that way i miss it but otherwise I can't stand the thought of it. My friends have had a lot of hangovers over the past few weeks and I almost feel sick in sympathy, I can still remember how awful they were.

    I encourage anyone who's thinking about it to do it. Make a plan, try to remove yourself from your trigger friends, occasions and places then go for it. I went cold turkey but I had a mega plan - spreadsheets, motivational reminders, timelines, a list of 'go to' activities to keep me busy. And thankfully it all worked. But if you think you might need outside help, then ask for it, whether it's from your GP, a loved one or your mates. And put yourself first for a change.

    Best wishes everyone for 2020.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    hubba wrote: »
    Over 8 years off it. My only regret is I didn't do it sooner, I would have saved a lot of money, been a better friend and not lived my best years in a cloud.

    I don't miss it but I do miss the opportunity a night out gives to bond with people. It shouldn't be like that but it is in Ireland and it seems you only really get to know someone over a few beers. So in that way i miss it but otherwise I can't stand the thought of it. My friends have had a lot of hangovers over the past few weeks and I almost feel sick in sympathy, I can still remember how awful they were.

    I encourage anyone who's thinking about it to do it. Make a plan, try to remove yourself from your trigger friends, occasions and places then go for it. I went cold turkey but I had a mega plan - spreadsheets, motivational reminders, timelines, a list of 'go to' activities to keep me busy. And thankfully it all worked. But if you think you might need outside help, then ask for it, whether it's from your GP, a loved one or your mates. And put yourself first for a change.

    Best wishes everyone for 2020.

    You did amazing! Definitely very strong willed when you put your mind to it. Although it’s my bf that was the drinker (sober just over two years now) I feel at times I miss out now on having a night life, the social side not the drinking ..was never that bothered. Went out New Years with a friend and tbh we both weren’t bothered we had a lovely meal had a few drinks and a stroll. I think it’s the thought of it that’s nice but then after a few people get stupid and annoying ..I even annoy myself if I drink lol or maybe I’m just getting too old and stuck in my ways. He isn’t getting any support or going to meetings he works hard and I think that’s his way of coping right now but when I’m not too knackered I go to classes or work out in the evenings there are more and more things to do in the evenings but I can see how it can get tedious and lonely for people if they’ve been used to sitting at a bar.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭zerosugarbuzz


    Well done.
    I'd say this thread will be hopping the next few days.
    New beginnings and all. :D

    I wonder if your post put them off....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    I wonder if your post put them off....

    Must have


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,889 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Coming up on one full year of complete unbroken sobriety and just over two years since I began to turn a corner from being mired in my alcoholic hell and starting out on the right road to recovery.

    I would be lying to you all if I told you that I don’t occasionally miss the odd boozing session or think of drink now and again, but the memory of how 7 years of my life was a virtual write-off thanks to the demon drink and how it controlled every facet of my life - is enough for me to be determined to stay on the course of sobriety and be thankful for the happiness and peace of mind I enjoy today.

    Happy New Decade all! :)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Into my 17th year off the hooch, gave it up in 2003.
    Never really thought my life would be where I am now.
    Still single, my son's nearly 19 and I have my mortgage nearly paid off.
    Working in the public sector have a secure job.
    Have a degree and it's secured me a responsible role in my career of choice.
    Working in the forestry/ horticulture/tree surgery area.

    From Park bench to the tree tops lol


  • Registered Users Posts: 30 Chopinlist66


    22 days off the vino. Very proud of myself, but still don't feel any great surge of energy quite yet.
    Thought I would be hopping over the moon, but no.
    One good thing, I don't feel the desire for wine, or any sort of alcohol.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,507 ✭✭✭tinpib


    Fair play Chopinlist66. I automatically assumed that I would be bursting with happiness 24/7 immediately after giving up the booze. It didn't work like that.

    It was nice not having the soul crushing lows of a hangover or post binge, but the rest of the time it was a solid 'meh', a 6/10 at best probably. It took a bit of getting used to.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    10 weeks and counting. Life isn't suddenly all bliss ,like I thought it was going to be and I do miss getting off my face. it was a means of escape from the mundanity of life but still waking up hangover free and anxiety under control somewhat swings it for me.
    I was more of a lone drinker at home. Can't stand pubs , the only way i could handle them is being absolutely langers drunk so i suppose I'm at an advantage there. Keep her lit!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    10 weeks and counting. Life isn't suddenly all bliss ,like I thought it was going to be and I do miss getting off my face. it was a means of escape from the mundanity of life but still waking up hangover free and anxiety under control somewhat swings it for me.
    I was more of a lone drinker at home. Can't stand pubs , the only way i could handle them is being absolutely langers drunk so i suppose I'm at an advantage there. Keep her lit!

    Well done! It’s a slow process and a learning process but each day sober is a bonus. If you are also going to meetings or support groups or one on one that might help you keep on trucking when things seem to lag a bit


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,937 ✭✭✭De Bhál


    21 days

    wasn't a heavy drinker, just tipping most nights with a glass or two of beer , wine or whiskey with more usually one night of the weekend.

    Plan was to go from January 20th to March 13th when we go on a family holiday.

    Got a massive want on me last night watching an episode of Boardwalk Empire, during a scene they were drinking red wine over dinner and it looked good.

    anyway, all good so far.


  • Registered Users Posts: 849 ✭✭✭IrishLad90


    Almost 12 hours.. was 2/3 months o n the build up to Christmas


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,889 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Chaired my first AA meeting today. I was pretty nervous beforehand, probably overthinking about what I was going to say. But in the end I just told my own story of my descent into the darkness of alcoholism, stints in rehab and on sobriety support programmes, my many many relapses, false promises and bare faced lies to family and friends, false dawns after leaving rehab and finally my turning point on the right road to recovery.

    So pleased to be able to contribute and give back. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 736 ✭✭✭Cushtie


    Just gone past the 9 year mark.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,543 ✭✭✭Dante7


    Ten days. Using Campral and Rational Recovery book.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,937 ✭✭✭De Bhál


    De Bhál wrote: »

    21 days

    wasn't a heavy drinker, just tipping most nights with a glass or two of beer , wine or whiskey with more usually one night of the weekend.

    Plan was to go from January 20th to March 13th when we go on a family holiday.

    Got a massive want on me last night watching an episode of Boardwalk Empire, during a scene they were drinking red wine over dinner and it looked good.

    anyway, all good so far.

    41 days


  • Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭candycock


    I'm always following this thread for some good advice and encouragement, I broke recently n binged for days, I cant understand why I do it, I am unhappy in my life and depression is always near by, I always have these thoughts of wait a failed life I lead, middle aged alcoholic, no kids, no money, no partner, living in rented accom, I'm so trapped in this life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    I recently passed the 2 year mark.delighted with myself and so content wity my choice to stop.

    My mams downward spiral has only toughened my resolve to stay off it and to continue.
    Wishing you all the best of luck again on your journeys
    It's hard but worth it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    candycock wrote: »
    I'm always following this thread for some good advice and encouragement, I broke recently n binged for days, I cant understand why I do it, I am unhappy in my life and depression is always near by, I always have these thoughts of wait a failed life I lead, middle aged alcoholic, no kids, no money, no partner, living in rented accom, I'm so trapped in this life.

    I used to be constantly baffled by this cycle/loop of doom recurring in my life over and over and over. Felt like I was mad
    turns out I was, where alcohol is concerned.

    I suggest a read of this, then , after taking the info transmitted here as a sort of blueprint, lay it across your own drinking history and then ask yourself " is this me"?

    http://silkworth.net/gsowatch/litbook.pdf

    Lifechanging exercise, if done honestly.

    I am over 18 years away from drink now ---no relapses!----thx to doing this (and the rest of whats on tap , of course). But I didn't see why I had to do anything else until I experienced the truth in this, that I am indeed alcoholic and that I can never, ever, drink again if I expect any kind of happy life or freedom. Now I gratefully enjoy both but it still hinges on my ongoing acceptance that time sober in and of itself is no defense against a return to delusion regarding me and booze. Not a bad deal, all things considered ;)

    You can recover too, if you really want it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 840 ✭✭✭peddlelies


    22 days.

    Wicked anxiety over the weekend but have gotten through it. 3-4 weeks mark has been mentioned by a lot of people in this thread as particularly bad and I think there's a lot of truth in it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 221 ✭✭2018na


    Haven’t had a drink yet in 2020. Really feeling good about it. Other option is to have a drink every single day, not fall down or anything not even get drunk but just have to have at least 4 pints and some tinnies. Waste of too many years like this. Would love the ability to just have a drink occasionally but it’s not like that for me unfortunately. Stick with it people it’s so much better not wondering when you’re first drink of the day is gonna be


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 xJustMex


    From Saturday night I’ve consumed two 70cl bottles of vodka aswell as two half bottles !! Disgusted and fed up! Had nothing today but been reading into things, and I have to accept that I can’t have any relationship with alcohol what so ever!! I wouldn’t say I crave alcohol, I could go a week or two without any, but when I do decide to have a drink I just don’t know when to stop at times and I’ve notice it gradually get worse until here I am! Feeling positive considering ðŸ‘ðŸ»


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    xJustMex wrote: »
    From Saturday night I’ve consumed two 70cl bottles of vodka aswell as two half bottles !! Disgusted and fed up! Had nothing today but been reading into things, and I have to accept that I can’t have any relationship with alcohol what so ever!! I wouldn’t say I crave alcohol, I could go a week or two without any, but when I do decide to have a drink I just don’t know when to stop at times and I’ve notice it gradually get worse until here I am! Feeling positive considering ðŸ‘ðŸ»

    You are in a good spot in recognising your behaviour and acknowledging that what's going on isn't right and it cant go on.

    Why not put together a plan now? Talk to someone? Maybe think about going to a meeting?

    All you have to do is concentrate on your next move. Concentrate on the next hour, then the hour after that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 xJustMex


    drydub wrote: »
    You are in a good spot in recognising your behaviour and acknowledging that what's going on isn't right and it cant go on.

    Why not put together a plan now? Talk to someone? Maybe think about going to a meeting?

    All you have to do is concentrate on your next move. Concentrate on the next hour, then the hour after that.

    Yeah, I’ve mentioned it to my close friends before, they laugh and be like ‘wise up you’re not an alcoholic you just love a good sesh every now and then’ so I think maybe having a serious talk with them is a good idea, weather they believe I am or not, I know I am. I may not drink every day, or every week for that matter, but I can’t control it when I do.
    My dads functioning alcoholic and 3 of my aunts (his sisters) are AA members 15+ years, it’s in the genes. I know the smart thing to do is approach them, but I’m not ready to have that chat with them and to be honest I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with them, although I know they’d be very kind.
    I’m fine at the minute, like I don’t crave alcohol, it’s just the realisation that yes I have a problem, and I’m better address it now before it escalates anymore, the further into the woods I go the harder it’ll be to get back out!
    But I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread and feel good that this is the start of me taking responsibility for myself


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    xJustMex wrote: »
    Yeah, I’ve mentioned it to my close friends before, they laugh and be like ‘wise up you’re not an alcoholic you just love a good sesh every now and then’ so I think maybe having a serious talk with them is a good idea, weather they believe I am or not, I know I am. I may not drink every day, or every week for that matter, but I can’t control it when I do.
    My dads functioning alcoholic and 3 of my aunts (his sisters) are AA members 15+ years, it’s in the genes. I know the smart thing to do is approach them, but I’m not ready to have that chat with them and to be honest I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with them, although I know they’d be very kind.
    I’m fine at the minute, like I don’t crave alcohol, it’s just the realisation that yes I have a problem, and I’m better address it now before it escalates anymore, the further into the woods I go the harder it’ll be to get back out!
    But I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread and feel good that this is the start of me taking responsibility for myself

    Your friends won't change their perspective so I wouldn't bother with them. When I quit I didn't understand why my friends were actually working against me. They do it to protect their own relationship with alcohol.

    I battled in the last 3 years knowing my mother is an alcoholic and thinking I was just following in her steps, blaming the genetics. But it isn't that simple. Maybe we are inclined to follow behaviours we are around but we are our own people. Our own decisions.

    I think you are at a cross roads of realising what the problem is and trying to work out what you want to do next. Maybe book an appointment with your GP for bloodtests and explain to them you think you have a problem and see what they suggest.

    There are a few books that are worth reading too. They aren't magical wands but I found I could resonate with a chapter or two and that's all I needed.

    Whatever you do and whenever you do it,i honestly wish you the best of luck in what you try.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3 xJustMex


    Thanks, you’re very kind and I appreciate your advice!!

    Any particular books you’d recommend?

    I’m probably very naive, but I’m relieved and excited in away, although I know chances are I could fall off the band wagon a few times by reading others experiences and it’s not always going to be easy.
    I’m just moseying to see if there’s any type of support group around my area, even for chats and just sharing journey with similar people. I know the AA is everywhere, but with my family that’s just too close for comfort I don’t think that would work at all, probably hinder me more than anything. Worse case scenario I suppose I could travel to different area.

    I’m in Donegal, so if anyone who comes across this is aware of anything I’d appreciate any direction. I don’t mind having to travel within reason


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    xJustMex wrote: »
    Thanks, you’re very kind and I appreciate your advice!!

    Any particular books you’d recommend?

    I’m probably very naive, but I’m relieved and excited in away, although I know chances are I could fall off the band wagon a few times by reading others experiences and it’s not always going to be easy.
    I’m just moseying to see if there’s any type of support group around my area, even for chats and just sharing journey with similar people. I know the AA is everywhere, but with my family that’s just too close for comfort I don’t think that would work at all, probably hinder me more than anything. Worse case scenario I suppose I could travel to different area.

    I’m in Donegal, so if anyone who comes across this is aware of anything I’d appreciate any direction. I don’t mind having to travel within reason

    I read Allen Carr, how to quit alcohol, stopped half way, continued drinking but revisited it in a different frame of mind and found it valuable
    Catherine Grey - the unexpected job of being sober. Found this book good to handle social situations and how to recognise triggers etc and it's fairly light hearted too

    A big thing for me at the start was just getting myself out of situstions where I would fail. I couldn't have just the one. 10 pints was the norm. That turned to 12 /16 pints. Obsessed with lock ins. But the final straw was I recognised how my personality changed when drunk.
    I got involved with an email support group with daily checkins which was good, kept me focused.
    Lifering have meetings too, they also have an online chat form which might be beneficial to find like minded people.

    If you fall off the wagon, don't be hard on yourself. I tried to quit over a number of years but it clicked with me the last time I quit and I'm rolling with it and enjoying it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,507 ✭✭✭tinpib


    Read through this thread and the non-drinkers forum for starters, I constantly recommend the stopdrinking subreddit on here.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/

    Best of luck to you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭DaeryssaOne


    xJustMex wrote: »

    Any particular books you’d recommend?

    I've been recommending these books a lot recently on Boards because I really found they helped me to change my mindset and be happy to stay sober - I was very like you OP, could go days / weeks without even thinking about drinking but once I started I could very rarely stop and would wind up with dreadful anxiety and hangovers as a result.
    Life has improved so much since I stopped that I'm excited for you to get started on the road to recovery and feel the same way!

    This Naked Mind - Annie Grace - fabulous for helping your subconscious mind catch up with your conscious mind and understand the lies you tell yourself to keep drinking.

    The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Catherine Gray - a lighter read that is entertaining and helps you overcome those awkward things you have to do after quitting like dating / dancing etc.

    Alcohol Explained - William Porter - very factual explanation from an ex drinker of what alcohol actually does to our bodies and minds.

    Other than that I like the no-drinking social media accounts of pages like 'One Year No Beer', 'Sober Girls Society', 'Millie Gooch' and 'Club Soda' as well as the stop drinking reddit.

    The very best of luck and keep updating here with your progress as it helps your accountability too.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 840 ✭✭✭peddlelies


    peddlelies wrote: »
    22 days.

    Wicked anxiety over the weekend but have gotten through it. 3-4 weeks mark has been mentioned by a lot of people in this thread as particularly bad and I think there's a lot of truth in it.

    35 days, depression/anxiety cloud is starting to lift. First time in years I've felt so mentally focused - the past week it was 1 bad day then the next good then back to bad in waves, but the past two days were good. There was NO good days when I was drinking.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Just thought I'd share this schedule for outside AA meetings in Dublin, might be of use to some with the way things are at the moment.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 840 ✭✭✭peddlelies


    Still off the wagon, I'll try break down how the past 50 days were for me as a regular binge drinker.

    First few days the usual hangover symptoms with bad depression/anxiety.

    Around day 5 felt pretty good but that last only lasted a day or two. Following couple of weeks anxiety and depression still there but not extreme. Trying to do anything that required long periods of concentration would result in severe anxiety, agitation and sweating.

    Around 30 days my mind just went totally clear but it was very short lived, it lasted for about three days of mental clarity. After that I experienced the worst anxiety/depression so far, extremely intense and it almost broke me. This kept up for a few days then would revert to the exact opposite, pure elation and optimism. For about 10 days my emotions were up and down, one day I'd feel terrible and the next really good.

    The past week there's been no highs or lows, my mood has stabilized to somewhere in between. There's still some anxiety there but it's manageable and I feel like every day that passes my emotions and mood are leveling out, there's no major swings.

    I won't update for a good while just felt like writing down the emotional roller-coaster of the past 50 days while it's fresh in my head. I hope eventually I'll get back to a level of those couple of days of pure calmness and mental clarity, it was an incredible feeling and make me remember what my life and mind was like a long time ago. Anxiety/Depression are horrible things.

    GL everyone hope all stay safe in these crazy times with covid19


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    I've been recommending these books a lot recently on Boards because I really found they helped me to change my mindset and be happy to stay sober - I was very like you OP, could go days / weeks without even thinking about drinking but once I started I could very rarely stop and would wind up with dreadful anxiety and hangovers as a result.
    Life has improved so much since I stopped that I'm excited for you to get started on the road to recovery and feel the same way!

    This Naked Mind - Annie Grace - fabulous for helping your subconscious mind catch up with your conscious mind and understand the lies you tell yourself to keep drinking.

    The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Catherine Gray - a lighter read that is entertaining and helps you overcome those awkward things you have to do after quitting like dating / dancing etc.

    Alcohol Explained - William Porter - very factual explanation from an ex drinker of what alcohol actually does to our bodies and minds.

    Other than that I like the no-drinking social media accounts of pages like 'One Year No Beer', 'Sober Girls Society', 'Millie Gooch' and 'Club Soda' as well as the stop drinking reddit.

    The very best of luck and keep updating here with your progress as it helps your accountability too.

    I'm listening to "alcohol explained" ...Definitely recommend it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭BK92


    1 day.

    After an off-the-cuff remark at what was supposed to be an enjoyable evening watching Netflix with the family, I knew my relationship my alcohol had to change and now.

    Naively, I always thought alcohol addiction in it's most basic sense was the only problem. If you drink a bottle of vodka everynight, spend all the child benefit at the pub à la Angela's Ashes and have to be dragged into bed my your wife with a basin beside the bed, you're in trouble.
    Otherwise it was 'just a good session', 'ah you'll get out of it by the time you're out of your twenties', 'just don't go beyond 2/3 pints' etc.

    On Saturday night I realised that in my case it was none of this. I 'just had' the one glass of wine. It was my relationship with alcohol and my lack of awareness about how my personality changes when I'm drinking. I never drank too much quantity-wise, and 19 times out of 20 I just had a good time with my wife, friends or extended family. The problem was that 1 time out of 20 when I'd make a joke in poor taste, make a 'witty comment' and get blank stares or lose patience with one of the kids because of a perfectly reasonable request.

    Everytime this happened I told myself I'd try and control myself better next time, count to 10, only have one drink in the pub on a Friday after work, only drink in the restaurant with food, only drink on special occasions etc. Great intentions, but nothing ever worked 100%

    I've fantastic support in a loving wife and family and I'm an early riser who loves getting things done while the sun is coming up, a long time without a drink (even forever!) would suit me down to the ground !

    Thanks to all who read this !


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    BK92 wrote: »
    1 day.

    After an off-the-cuff remark at what was supposed to be an enjoyable evening watching Netflix with the family, I knew my relationship my alcohol had to change and now.

    Naively, I always thought alcohol addiction in it's most basic sense was the only problem. If you drink a bottle of vodka everynight, spend all the child benefit at the pub à la Angela's Ashes and have to be dragged into bed my your wife with a basin beside the bed, you're in trouble.
    Otherwise it was 'just a good session', 'ah you'll get out of it by the time you're out of your twenties', 'just don't go beyond 2/3 pints' etc.

    On Saturday night I realised that in my case it was none of this. I 'just had' the one glass of wine. It was my relationship with alcohol and my lack of awareness about how my personality changes when I'm drinking. I never drank too much quantity-wise, and 19 times out of 20 I just had a good time with my wife, friends or extended family. The problem was that 1 time out of 20 when I'd make a joke in poor taste, make a 'witty comment' and get blank stares or lose patience with one of the kids because of a perfectly reasonable request.

    Everytime this happened I told myself I'd try and control myself better next time, count to 10, only have one drink in the pub on a Friday after work, only drink in the restaurant with food, only drink on special occasions etc. Great intentions, but nothing ever worked 100%

    I've fantastic support in a loving wife and family and I'm an early riser who loves getting things done while the sun is coming up, a long time without a drink (even forever!) would suit me down to the ground !

    Thanks to all who read this !

    Well done :)


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,889 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    @BK92 - that’s great to hear. :)

    It’s not necessarily the amount you drink per se, but the relationship that one has with alcohol that is the issue. When it is starting to negatively affect your family life, your work, your well being then there is a problem that needs to be resolved.

    Unfortunately I was too far gone down the rabbit hole of alcoholism to stop in time. But I did turn my life around after many, many false starts.

    Feeling good myself in this lockdown situation. Taking my Antabuse every night (my OH makes sure I do) keeping busy working from home and well over a year since my last slip.


  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭BK92


    Thanks for all the encouragement - it's a big decision to take !

    @JupiterKid - I think that's one of the reasons why I slipped into bad drinking habits. I'm not much of a religious person but as the old saying goes: 'The devil makes work for idle hands', picking up new interests or re-connecting with old ones has made the first few days a lot more interesting and productive, I haven't even had time to think about having a drink !

    It's one of the great things about having a loving and supportive wife and children, I'm always busy. It sharpens and focuses my mind on what really matters. Even going for 'the one' in the pub gave me a subconscious nagging feeling of 'You're not supposed to be here, you've a family and better things to be doing'. In hindsight I should've paid much more attention to this but I'm wiser now :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    I've just read ;or listened rather ;to the audiobook "Alcohol explained".
    It's definitely one of the better ones out there. One of the key points that struck home with me was the way the subconsious triggers fester and progress into a spiral of craving.
    This is my downfall everytime.
    The physical withdrawal i can handle but 3 or 4 months down the road a thought occurs to me "I'd love a nice cold beer now" and that thought just festers and nags and in the end i always succumb.
    You have to counter the argumnent in your own mind and really follow it through as in the pain and destruction that one drink will lead to, waking up at 5am with every problem you have totally exacerbated by the effects the alcohol caused.
    2 weeks tomorrow after being off it for 4 months previously :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭BK92


    I've just read ;or listened rather ;to the audiobook "Alcohol explained".
    It's definitely one of the better ones out there. One of the key points that struck home with me was the way the subconsious triggers fester and progress into a spiral of craving.
    This is my downfall everytime.
    The physical withdrawal i can handle but 3 or 4 months down the road a thought occurs to me "I'd love a nice cold beer now" and that thought just festers and nags and in the end i always succumb.
    You have to counter the argumnent in your own mind and really follow it through as in the pain and destruction that one drink will lead to, waking up at 5am with every problem you have totally exacerbated by the effects the alcohol caused.
    2 weeks tomorrow after being off it for 4 months previously :)

    Thanks for the recommendation, just picked up the Alcohol Explained audiobook for around £4 on Amazon. Looking forward to reading Allen Carr's and Catherine Gray's books too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    I read Allen Carr's book on drinking and didn't really find it of any use to me personally however his book on smoking worked.
    Off the cigs 15 years and I think i tried everything to give them up.
    Drink is a different beast though and for me it's a tougher battle.
    PS that was a good price for the audiobook....was that on audible you picked it up?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    Well done :)
    There's a huge difference between alcohol abuse, alcohol addiction and alcoholism. That was my difficulty for years, not knowing what exactly is wrong with me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 48 anniewilkes


    46 days


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Feeling good myself in this lockdown situation. Taking my Antabuse every night (my OH makes sure I do) keeping busy working from home and well over a year since my last slip.

    Have you had any trouble getting Antabuse lately? The pharmacy haven't been able to get it for me the last couple of months, luckily enough I had a couple of bottles at home but I'm nearly out now ... hoping they'll have it next month. I think I'm at a good place and am unlikely to relapse without it, I'd rather not take any chances though.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,534 ✭✭✭Chalk McHugh


    75 days today.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭MyAccount


    120 days today - wasn't easy the first few weeks but now I am so glad - I am a better person and have lost 7kg and feel great


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