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Resigning due to bullying

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Comments

  • #52
    Thespoofer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,076 ✭✭✭Thespoofer


    OP not sure if you're still reading this but best of luck in the future and try not to be too hard on yourself.
    Get yourself sorted out and look forward not back.
    The thing about pr!$ks like them is the common reason they bully/pick on other people is jealousy, it's that simple. And if they're jealous of you must mean you've been doing something right so good riddance to them.
    Take care.


  • #53
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thespoofer wrote: »
    OP not sure if you're still reading this but best of luck in the future and try not to be too hard on yourself.
    Get yourself sorted out and look forward not back.
    The thing about pr!$ks like them is the common reason they bully/pick on other people is jealousy, it's that simple. And if they're jealous of you must mean you've been doing something right so good riddance to them.
    Take care.
    Still reading, and thanks for your kind words.


  • #54
    Cool Hand Lucy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12 ✭Cool Hand Lucy


    OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.


  • #55
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Cool Hand Lucy wrote: »
    OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.

    Doing crap, look at me awake at 3.40 am. The annoyance that in 2 weeks I won't have a job or an income is weighing heavily on me. I feel really defeated.
    I was beginning to wonder if I was doing the right thing, and in our morning teams meeting, waiting for the boss to log in, my last colleague logged in. Said 'good morning men'. That would be fine, except I am the only female in the group. A little subtle dig, on its own, nobody would bat an eyelid. But over the last few months, these digs are really affecting me. I bust out crying randomly. I spent most of yesterday crying.
    I can't believe people can be so cruel.
    I feel for your sister. It is a lonely place.
    My workplace had a big darkness into light event there. Raising money for Pieta, yet turning a blind eye to their staff being bullied.


  • #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Cool Hand Lucy wrote: »
    OP, just off the phone to my sister who is in a similar situation. Colleague giving her grief is putting it mildly. Tough seeing someone you love going through this. Hope you're doing okay OP.

    Hey. Sorry to hear about your sister. I think bullying is pretty common. Because it is covert and subtle, it is hard to prove or get anyone to believe.
    I'm not great, thanks for asking. I'm angry that I will be jobless, while they still have their job. It's not fair.


  • #57
    Thespoofer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,076 ✭✭✭Thespoofer


    Money aside do you think deep down OP youd rather not work there anymore ?
    I think you're better off out of it, it's really after having an effect on your mental health going by your posts.


  • #58
    Tork
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,457 ✭✭✭Tork


    When you're feeling fragile, digs or perceived digs hit hard. It was inevitable that you were going to leave this job. In my anecdotal experience, companies rarely handle bullying well and the problem never goes away until somebody leaves. It looks like it was always going to be you in this case. There's no point in regretting what you should or shouldn't have done at this stage. You're now jobless and need to find something else asap. Be prepared for questions about why you left your previous job.


  • #59
    Cool Hand Lucy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12 ✭Cool Hand Lucy


    Hope things improve for you OP. My poor sister doubted herself also but then the bully became careless (e.g. signing my sister's name to dodgy correspondance). Think you're better off away from this toxic work colleague. All the best


  • #60
    The DayDream
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 513 ✭✭✭The DayDream


    Good for you OP. To hi diddly heck with them. I know how you feel. Ive been through it. I almost felt like that when I started this new job due to past experiences it does affect you for a while so be aware of that.

    I've since gotten a lot more positive feedback lately and feel like I fit in my new team much better now so hopefully you find a new bunch of lovely people to work with.


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  • #61
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The DayDream wrote: »
    Good for you OP. To hi diddly heck with them. I know how you feel. Ive been through it. I almost felt like that when I started this new job due to past experiences it does affect you for a while so be aware of that.

    I've since gotten a lot more positive feedback lately and feel like I fit in my new team much better now so hopefully you find a new bunch of lovely people to work with.

    Ha ha. Hi diddly heck with them is right!
    Thanks.
    Glad things worked out for you.


  • #62
    The DayDream
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 513 ✭✭✭The DayDream


    Tork wrote: »
    When you're feeling fragile, digs or perceived digs hit hard. It was inevitable that you were going to leave this job. In my anecdotal experience, companies rarely handle bullying well and the problem never goes away until somebody leaves. It looks like it was always going to be you in this case. There's no point in regretting what you should or shouldn't have done at this stage. You're now jobless and need to find something else asap. Be prepared for questions about why you left your previous job.

    I agree that the digs hurt more when you're not in good form and also that it is rarely handled right. With that in mind I think OP made the right move.

    The questions about why you left a job are asked of anyone (unfortunately).I mean job applicants could ask the reverse, ask why do you need staff, but ofc no one does that as it assumed the important part of the interview is determining can this person fill the vacancy not investigating the reason for it. For some reason though the circumstances regarding the existince of the vacancy is not brought up while the applicants jobseeking is. Like how dare an apllicant not already have a job!

    I'm sure OP knows that the best thing to do at any subsequent interviews not to say they were bullied but to come up with a shortly stated boilerplate reason that is neither too vague or too specific that can be jotted down and moved on from quickly.

    Hope you enjoy a nice break OP.


  • #63
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The DayDream wrote: »
    I agree that the digs hurt more when you're not in good form and also that it is rarely handled right. With that in mind I think OP made the right move.

    I'm sure OP knows that the best thing to do at any subsequent interviews not to say they were bullied but to come up with a shortly stated boilerplate reason that is neither too vague or too specific that can be jotted down and moved on from quickly.

    Hope you enjoy a nice break OP.

    Thanks. Some good advice here.
    Should I mention the bullying in the exit interview or keep quiet?
    There's probably no point in saying anything. What are they going to do when I'm left?
    Probably better for a reference to keep quiet?


  • #64
    honeyjo
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭honeyjo


    Hi OP

    I was in your shoes until May. I was bullied by my line manager. The management team were 3 people who were useless. It was a small company and the owner didn't care as long as the euros rolling in. I had enough and handed in my notice without a new job. I had been trying since January. I made an informal complaint and was brought into a meeting by HR and the GM. It was the worst meeting of my life. I was hauled over the coals. I spent the rest of the day crying. It took every ounce of strength but I went ahead with an interview that day. I was offered the job. I started in my new job at the end of May. I am so much happier now. Please don't give up.



  • #65
    backwards_man
    Registered Users Posts: 347 ✭✭backwards_man


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117190559#Comment_117190559

    Dont worry about a reference, companies nowadays only state the dates that you were working there and what your title/role was. They do not make any statement about anything else. Most companies do not even ask previous employers for a reference.

    I would mention it at the exit interview in case someone else at a later stage has a similar issue with the same people. One person's complaining can be dismissed as an individual not fitting in. If a second or third person later comes forward your complaint will add weight to theirs putting HR under pressure to act. It wont benefit you but might benefit someone else who comes after.



  • #66
    banoffe2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 421 ✭✭banoffe2


    the very best of luck OP, they bullying seems to be rampant and going the HR route rarely makes a difference as HR tend to protect the company and not the employee, they will try to manage you out the door and the next person will go through the same thing, this is why we see a high turnover of staff in toxic management workplaces



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