Funny/C*ap Nicknames you've come across

sligojoek · 07-02-2019 3:29pm

Farmer near here called Paddy "Nail"
They call his son Paddy "Panel Pin"

orourkeda1977 · 07-02-2019 3:33pm

There was a player that used to play for Bohemians. His name was Darren Mansaram. He was black. I've heard him called Black Betty.

The reason for this was a chant that was created in his honour. It was that song black betty but they chnged the lyrics from "Woh Black betty bam a lam" to "Woh Black Darren Mansaram"

happyoutscan · 07-02-2019 3:37pm

Mate of mine once had a girl shout at him, Simon break my Hymen.

Not sure if he did, name didnt stick anyway.

gerrybbadd · 07-02-2019 3:39pm

Had a friend called Wrong Mouth because everything he'd say would be incorrect.

Worked with a lady who's job involved going out to businesses. She never went out, staying at her desk - she became known as The Olympic Torch.

Stutts - he had a stutter.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 07-02-2019 3:40pm

fancy pigeon wrote: »

I once bought parts for a car from a fellow in Westmeath called Pissy. Couldn't understand and still can't to this day figure out why he's called that!

It was hardly Pissy Fletcher from Mullingar was it?

Fella of about 30.

I was acquainted with him in college, we knew him as either 'pissy' or 'piss'. No idea where it stemmed from and never had the courage to ask. He was a volatile individual.

orourkeda1977 · 07-02-2019 3:44pm

rgodard80a wrote: »

One of my sisters knew a guy called "Hoover".

In his teen years, his brother and mother walked in on him attempting to pleasure himself with the vacuum cleaner. Never knew which brand, but always had a funny mental image of it being a "Henry" hoover.

The brother obviously wasn't going to keep that incident quiet and I'd say everyone within a 2km radius of his house knew about it.

Imagine your own mother catching you trying to blow your own arsehole out of it with a hoover. Dirty F*cker.

I had a good laugh at that. I might even try it ater after a few jars.

fineso.mom · 07-02-2019 3:45pm

Know a guy called Richard who is a welder everyone calls him Dick nuts. Also know a Willie windows..he fits windows....

Aska · 07-02-2019 3:46pm

Tommy tit was a teacher we had in secondary school in Wexford. He was small in height

Badly Drunk Boy · 07-02-2019 3:48pm

CalamariFritti wrote: »

I know a guy who is called 'horse'. He also calls everyone else horse. How'ya horse. It's funny and he's a nice guy. Horse. lol

I knew one of them too. He called everyone 'Horse' so that became his nickname. The poor lad died in a car crash in his early 30s.

There's also a woman I work with who calls everyone 'Luv' so that's her nickname. Very inventive, eh?

valoren · 07-02-2019 3:50pm

A friend of our cousin was planning to go to Australia in 2010 for 6 months. He flew over, got home sick and was back after a few weeks. They christened him Boomerang.

....... · 07-02-2019 3:53pm

Sly rasher - the persons surname was Cunningham.

07-02-2019 3:59pm

I know of a lad in the sticks whose surname is Malone. I'm not sure of his first name, but everyone calls him "Ho". Thought it was gas when I heard it.

yourdeadwright · 07-02-2019 4:02pm

Stereo , stole them in the 80's
Worked with a lad called Dildo , no idea why but everyone calls him it,
Worked with another lad called Grem , said he looked like a Gremlin when he was young ,

MarkR · 07-02-2019 4:08pm

Kit kat. Missing a finger.

uch · 07-02-2019 4:17pm

Grew up with a lad called Farto, you can guess where he got the name.
Also went to school with a chap called Highland, everyone called him Toffee

Dick phelan · 07-02-2019 4:18pm

Played hurling with a mixed race lad when i was a kid, everyone called him Choc Ice.

Another guy who's surname was Lamb nicknamed Chops

johnsparkexile · 07-02-2019 4:22pm

Worked with a man called "Stone faced", always had a stern look about him. his son

started in the job, had a touch of acne, so was christened "Pebble Dash".

Another bloke was called "Sheeps head" because he had really short curly hair.

Manager was know as "matt the rat" for obvious reasons, one of the charge hands

was called "The wankey bull", never found out why.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 07-02-2019 4:24pm

Do you notice women never give each other nicknames?

uch · 07-02-2019 4:24pm

Played under age Football with a lad called sewerage because of his terrible acne

LirW · 07-02-2019 4:32pm

Had a teacher who always had bananas in his bag, rumours got around it was because of a medical condition. He was called Banana Wario because he also looked like Wario.

Himself I sometimes call Burger because you can easily turn his last name into it. Needless to say he hates it.

neris · 07-02-2019 4:34pm

was a teacher in my secondary school in the early 90s called Block, back in the 70s he threatened a student physically telling him hed knock his block off.

Gremlinertia · 07-02-2019 4:35pm

Used to know a fella who was called bungalow because he had nothing upstairs

OOnegative · 07-02-2019 4:39pm

Was a lad from around Longford nicknamed “The Sham with the Golden Boots” never knew why. Was in school with another lad called “Cornflake” because he suffered from eczema.

Exiled1 · 07-02-2019 4:49pm

Jockey Niall 'Boots' Madden, his son Niall is 'Slippers'.
Kid I knew was 'Spoons', his little brother became 'Teaspoons'.

fancy pigeon · 07-02-2019 4:51pm

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It was hardly Pissy Fletcher from Mullingar was it?

Fella of about 30.

I was acquainted with him in college, we knew him as either 'pissy' or 'piss'. No idea where it stemmed from and never had the courage to ask. He was a volatile individual.

Could possibly be! This fella was from near Finnea. He was a bit older than me so could be in his early 30s by now

He was into racing, he had a Granada being prepped in his garage, seemed pleasant enough when I dealt with him though!

artanevilla · 07-02-2019 5:13pm

fancy pigeon wrote: »

I once bought parts for a car from a fellow in Westmeath called Pissy. Couldn't understand and still can't to this day figure out why he's called that!

Dalymount Park is on the site of what used to be known as "Pisser Dignam's Field".

Schwanz · 07-02-2019 5:37pm

Square

The lads head was massive

corner of hells · 07-02-2019 5:40pm

neris wrote: »

was a teacher in my secondary school in the early 90s called Block, back in the 70s he threatened a student physically telling him hed knock his block off.

School in Lucan ?

Winty · 07-02-2019 5:51pm

We have a friend called Mahogany.
Story goes he is allergic to hard wood because he stays away from bar counters when it's his round.

BAM! uhavechlamydia · 07-02-2019 5:53pm

OOnegative wrote: »

Was a lad from around Longford nicknamed “The Sham with the Golden Boots” never knew why. Was in school with another lad called “Cornflake” because he suffered from eczema.

Knew a guy called Denny growing up with eczema...they called him Rasher ...

FTA69 · 07-02-2019 6:47pm

Fella from Cork called John Twomey who was nicknamed “Socket”. I went for years before it clicked, I thought he was an electrician or something. I used deliver milk to a fella in Passage West called “Fat Joe” because he was absolutely identical to the rapper, it was mad.

I was called “the Jew” due to my swarthy appearance, circumcision and support for Spurs. Which is fair enough to be honest.

Panthro · 07-02-2019 6:55pm

I was going to a mates house party years ago. He had another mate who was getting dropped off at the head of the road by bus. So my mate asked would I pick up bus mate.
No bother what's his name says I.
Turf!

07-02-2019 6:55pm

Maybe a little off topic but I worked with a guy always called Junior by his family because he had the same first name as his da. Thing is he swears he was almost 13 years old and making his confirmation before he realised his real name wasn't actually Junior at all. At that point he was already introducing himself as Junior for years and didn't fancy the fact that it wasn't his name. He continues to use Junior as his real name today, now well into his 40s.

Genghis Cant · 07-02-2019 7:00pm

Exiled1 wrote: »

Jockey Niall 'Boots' Madden, his son Niall is 'Slippers'.

Similarly, I know of a chap called ' Star '

His son is called ' Twinkle '

Twinkle twinkle little star.

Tuco88 · 08-02-2019 12:05am

A member of a community who used to travel around in his van excessively fast, christened schuknacker.

A bloke who was obsessed with earthing and bonding at work, christened James Bond.

Eh, "The Bungalow" is one you will hear alot around the place. Nothing upstairs...

Your Face · 08-02-2019 12:06am

A fella work was called Alan.

So they called him Aldo.

Soccer fans.

sligojoek · 08-02-2019 1:05am

Off the top of my head, a few teachers in the 70s and 80s.

Crocker.. Always drove a heap of sh1t of a car
The Jap.. Had squinty eyes
Mr Durex.. Mr Durack
Johnny.. Ms Condon
Ned .. Br Edmund
Br Creepy.. Br C***vey. (Last I heard, he was in jail)

08-02-2019 1:20am

Worked in a biker bar in the IOM.

One of the locals was called "Womble" - or so I thought.

One night after a few drinks (lock in) I asked him where his nickname came from.

"I was out on Mad Sunday (notorious day between practice week and TT week where all the roads are closed except for bikes) and I came off me bike. Straight over the handlebars, landed about 50ft in front of the bike (I can't remember the reason for the crash, sadly). Walked back to the bike, and there it was, stuck on the handlebar."

"What was?"

"A ball. That's why I'm one-ball"

*bleurgh*

08-02-2019 1:22am

Fairly rotund Priest in my school was Father Pat...

AKA Rather Fat

Oops! · 08-02-2019 1:48am

Genghis Cant wrote: »

Similarly, I know of a chap called ' Star '

His son is called ' Twinkle '

Twinkle twinkle little star.

Two brothers i know of, The older one is known as Boots, the younger Socks.

Another fella in the locallity is known as Harp.... Not after the musical instrument, the lager drink.

mynamejeff · 08-02-2019 2:23am

Brick Walshs older brother paul is known as Block

there used to be a fella around waterford city years ago called jimmy giant hands

Evil kelly . nice fella just looked like a dangerous bastard

Big Mick 7 foot tall 2 and a half foot wide has his own gravity

Little big mick , normal size except where it matters if you know what i mean

foxes · 08-02-2019 10:49am

I know of three brothers known as Tractor, Trailer and Bailer - self explanatory, Also a guy known as Buckets of Water - because he walked like he was carrying buckets of water, a girl named Helen called hell on earth - also self explanatory

super_furry · 08-02-2019 10:59am

My parents had a friend in the 70s called N**ger Doyle, because he was a bit suntanned. Different world back then.

Schwanz · 09-02-2019 11:00am

Plank because the lad was as thick as fcuk.

The Rape of Lucretia · 09-02-2019 12:01pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

So original however neither funny witty strange or unusual.

C*ap then ?

Hotblack Desiato · 10-02-2019 5:45pm

A colleague of mine had a friend called Joanna, she called her "Gimme Hope"

Schwanz · 10-02-2019 8:19pm

Splinter cas he had a set of teeth that would chomp through cement

razorblunt · 10-02-2019 8:47pm

A fella in North Cork is called Chilli.

His name is Con Kearney.

humberklog · 10-02-2019 8:55pm

I used to work as a civil engineer in England and there was a labourer guy I hadnt seen. He was referred to as "Landmine" by the gangerman on the day work chits.
I took it that it was slight against the nationality of the dude until one day a silhouette of an ungainly rake started walking towards us from a distance, as he got closer his ripped clothes, filthy face and utter dishevelment became apparent and he was shouting in a jerky inaudible English.

What's fecking this coming towards us Joe?

"That's Landmine. He always looks like he's just stepped on a landmine. Great grafter though"

The lad as it turned out was from Spiddal. And he was a pure grafter.

dulux99 · 10-02-2019 8:57pm

Friend of mine earned the nickname Slippers when he was 13 because he was seen wearing a pair of slippers. Decades later it's still all he's known as.

Funny/C*ap Nicknames you've come across

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