Men's toilet habits

A lot of this strange behaviour could have been caused but your far too inquisitive presence me thinks!

Daith&#237 wrote: »

Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle.

Well, it can, but not correctly;)

I hate it when i walk into a cubicle and fine piss all over the seat. Its just so unnecessary! Lift the seat and there is no problem. I always clean it as i do not want someone to come in after me and assume i left the mess

Anyway i always try to go into a cubicle as opposed to the Urinal for a very simple reason and nothing to do with being homophobic or anything. I like to have a good ole clean. I will wipe both ends and make sure im nice and dry rather than just let Pee soak into my underwear

Oh and this thread warrants a good ole link to www.ratemypoo.com

Hiya Daithi,
Firstly, not a bad thread.
Secondly, urinals are not the same as cubicles no matter how hard you try to make them
Thirdly, calling someone an asshole is personal abuse and isn't really allowed on boards
Fourthly, I always wash my hands
Fifthly, I don't engage strange men in conversation when they have their willies in their hands, it just seems very...George Michael...and that's not my thing, if it was then I would happily do so
Sixthly (this is getting ridiculous), When I use a urinal I'll stand where there's room, if there is a choice I'll stand left or right of the centre urinal.
Seventhly (?), I can't say I've noticed any guys staring at their manhood in awe. I have seen guys casually glance over at other guys, I'm an eyes front kind of person, if I wanted strangers talking at me while I'm doing my business I'd smile and say 'hello' . I do talk to blokes I know, usually exchanging banalaties, not discussing socioeconomics in the developing world or anything.
Eightly, I'm toilet trained and have been living with Mrs r3nu4l for 7.5 years...ergo, I always lift the toilet seat and replace it when finished (I hope my brethern in the RHBG forum don't read this last bit!)

Hope this enhances your knowledge a bit

A GUIDE TO PROPER ETIQUETTE IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM

Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's rooms," and several other names. As with any exclusive organization, wholy half the human race aren't allowed through the door, and a number of exceedingly complicated customs have arisen to maintain a sense of order and dignity.

General rules:

1. Don't talk to somebody you don't know. You may chat quietly with an acquaintance, but must absolutely not call attention to yourself.

2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. Zit popping is only permissable after checking to see nobody else is around.

3. No profanity of any kind. This is reserved for locker rooms, only.

4. If you must wait, form a single-file line, ragged, and be sure to keep looking around. Read graffiti.

Graffiti rules:

5. All graffiti is anonymous. If there's any chance somebody can trace your graffiti back to you, don't do it.

6. Writing graffiti in the open section of the bathroom is only acceptable if nobody can see you. Writing in the stalls is similarly acceptable.

7. If the bathroom is sufficiently public, feel free to insult different ethnic/racial/sexual groups. If the bathroom is used by a small few, restrain comments to amusing anecdotes or chit-chat about secretaries. If visiting dignitaries from other companies or the government may tend to use the bathroom, graffiti is forbidden.

8. Traditionally, all pictures feature women in various states of undress. Modern standards often include portions of male anatomy, discretely placed. Homosexual graffiti is generally frowned upon but is gaining popularity.

9. Pictures must only be drawn in toilet stalls.

10. Any sufficiently interesting graffiti will be painted over by the management of the bathroom.

Urinal rules:

11. Given a string of unoccupied urinals, you must choose one on the outside. When one outside urinal is occupied, use the other side, then middle. Avoid standing directly next to somebody at all costs.

For example, given seven urinals, here are acceptable configurations:


X...... (X == occupied, . == empty)
X.....X
X..X..X
X.X.X.X
XXX.X.X <-- These are only acceptable when significant
XXX.XXX <-- "privacy" dividers are available. If the
XXXXXXX <-- urinals aren't divided, use a toilet.

12. Always look at the wall. Looking down means you're obsessed or don't know what you're doing. Looking at other people is threatening.

13. Flushing is optional. Over time, the water will become a rich orange. At this point, flushing is mandatory.

14. Don't start unzipping until you're protected by the privacy of the urinal. Don't step back until you've closed your pants again.

Toilet rules:

15. Reduce noise at all costs. Grunting is not acceptable.

16. Always flush.

17. When you find an unflushed toilet, leave it alone and use another.

Special cases:

18. Some university dormitories have co-ed bathrooms. New rules apply for dealing with the females. a. Never, ever, comment on how they look in the morning. b. Don't ask what the little wastebasket is for. c. If urinals are present, only use them when absolutely no females are around. If you are noticed by a female, try your best to ignore her presense until you're dressed again.

19. Port-O-Let's and similar constructions are evil. Use them only if absolutely no other option is available.

20. In the woods, far from civilization, restrooms typically aren't available. Get behind sufficient growth that you are completely invisible to the remainder of your party, before you begin. Check carefully that you aren't near any sort of animal or insect den. Ants are especially bad. If you forgot toilet paper, bring a leaf identifying guide. Poison oak makes a poor substitute.

When I hear cubicle I think stall not urinal.

Daith&#237 wrote: »

6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

Because you should NEVER EVER talk to the guy beside you. NEVER!

r3nu4l wrote:

years...ergo, I always lift the toilet seat and replace it when finished (I hope my brethern in the RHBG forum don't read this last bit!)

Hope this enhances your knowledge a bit

copacetic wrote:

brother r3nu4l, we need to talk.

Indeed we do. Outside, now, brother r3nu4l.

Mordeth wrote:

urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.

I'm going to have to disagree with this. I am someone who washes their hands, for the simple reason that I like them clean. I don't just wash them after taking a piss because theres piss on my hands - I learned not to do then when I was about 2 years old, and I hope most other people did the same - but my hands were holding my penis, which is underneath my underwear which tends to get a little sweaty and generally smelly throughout the day. I would also wash my hands if I ever felt the urge to rub my armpits, for the exact same reason. I mightn't necessarily have been sweating profusely, but its a simple case of hygiene awareness.

Urine is only sterile when in the body, as soon as it's out in the open, all sorts of nasties start to grow on it.