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Men's toilet habits

  • 16-03-2007 11:14am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21


    Hi folks!

    This is not as disgusting as the title may suggest. However, being a male myself and someone who does NOT practice the habits I will outline below, perhaps those who do practice these things might be able to shed some light on it for me. Btw, I'm not obessesed by this - just some observances in my local last night.

    1) When there are 3 cubicles in the toilet, why do some lads pick the middle one??

    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?

    3) When there are one or two lads at the cublicles, why do some guys walk into the toilet, avoid eye contact, run into the toilet with the door, close it, LOCK it!, urinate, and then come out WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!!

    4) On that point, why do 90% of males not wash their hands?? (OK that figure might be a bit high!) I don't know how many times my other half or my other female friends were introduced to some rake who I know did not wash his hands.

    5) Why do some blokes stand at an odd angle as if they think that you want to view their willy??!!

    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

    7) Why do some guys stare at their manhood in awe?!

    That's just a few, I have loads of others. And again, I'm not some kind of pervert, I just feel it's my social duty to document these things, just as John B.Keane observed the peculiarities of corner boys!

    As for my own 'toilet style', well I go in, nod at whoever is there and exchange banalities, go about my business and then wash my hands.


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 289 ✭✭louisecm


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Hi folks!

    This is not as disgusting as the title may suggest. However, being a male myself and someone who does NOT practice the habits I will outline below, perhaps those who do practice these things might be able to shed some light on it for me. Btw, I'm not obessesed by this - just some observances in my local last night.

    1) When there are 3 cubicles in the toilet, why do some lads pick the middle one??

    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?

    3) When there are one or two lads at the cublicles, why do some guys walk into the toilet, avoid eye contact, run into the toilet with the door, close it, LOCK it!, urinate, and then come out WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!!

    4) On that point, why do 90% of males not wash their hands?? (OK that figure might be a bit high!) I don't know how many times my other half or my other female friends were introduced to some rake who I know did not wash his hands.

    5) Why do some blokes stand at an odd angle as if they think that you want to view their willy??!!

    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

    7) Why do some guys stare at their manhood in awe?!

    That's just a few, I have loads of others. And again, I'm not some kind of pervert, I just feel it's my social duty to document these things, just as John B.Keane observed the peculiarities of corner boys!

    As for my own 'toilet style', well I go in, nod at whoever is there and exchange banalities, go about my business and then wash my hands.
    These are the eternal questions.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,238 ✭✭✭humbert


    A lot of this strange behaviour could have been caused but your far too inquisitive presence me thinks!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,145 ✭✭✭DonkeyStyle \o/


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?
    Because you were there... carefully observing their toilet behaviour and they wanted to avoid your busy eyes.

    And by 'cubicle' do you mean 'urinal'?
    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?
    Why do you know what their facial expressions are? Just look straight ahead and say nothing like a normal person.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 Daithí Locha


    Because you were there... carefully observing their toilet behaviour.

    And by 'cubicle' do you mean 'urinal'?

    Why do you know what their facial expressions are? Just look straight ahead and say nothing like a normal person.

    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle. Or are you an expert
    on toilets?

    Before this gets into a row, allow me, once more, to point out that I'm not staring at the guy next to me. If i've already been at the URINAL and another guy walks in, and can't help but glance at him. All the observations that I've pointed out above can be noticed in a split second.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 Daithí Locha


    humbert wrote:
    A lot of this strange behaviour could have been caused but your far too inquisitive presence me thinks!



    These observances can be made in a matter of nanoseconds.

    So spare me the inferences that you're attempting to make!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,145 ✭✭✭DonkeyStyle \o/


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle.
    I suppose if you were desperate enough... and the stalls were full.
    Kinda mash it down the hole with your fingers.
    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    If i've already been at the URINAL and another guy walks in, and can't help but glance at him.
    That should be question 8.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 355 ✭✭peepsbates



    Why do you know what their facial expressions are? Just look straight ahead and say nothing like a normal person.

    Here Here, look at the wall ffs not other peoples faces, as for going into the cubicle, well i just go in so i can stare at mr winkey in awe


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭mickoneill30


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    These observances can be made in a matter of nanoseconds.

    So spare me the inferences that you're attempting to make!

    I started reading this thread and it seemed humerous. But from your replies it seems you're taking it way too seriously.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 Daithí Locha


    I suppose if you were desperate enough... and the stalls were full.
    Kinda mash it down the hole with your fingers.

    That should be question 8.



    Ah, I get it. You're the resident a**hole on this site. Nice to meet you early so as I can ignore you in future.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Borzoi


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle.

    Well, it can, but not correctly;)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Why do they piss on the seat and not wipe it afterwards too would be a question of mine. I think this is a unisex problem though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 355 ✭✭peepsbates


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Ah, I get it. You're the resident a**hole on this site. Nice to meet you early so as I can ignore you in future.

    And you may be resident pervert on this site, its ah like what did u expect


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Cubicle=cube. Do people work in a urinal shaped office space?

    Toilet cleaners excepted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    I hate it when i walk into a cubicle and fine piss all over the seat. Its just so unnecessary! Lift the seat and there is no problem. I always clean it as i do not want someone to come in after me and assume i left the mess :D

    Anyway i always try to go into a cubicle as opposed to the Urinal for a very simple reason and nothing to do with being homophobic or anything. I like to have a good ole clean. I will wipe both ends and make sure im nice and dry rather than just let Pee soak into my underwear :D

    Oh and this thread warrants a good ole link to www.ratemypoo.com


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,941 ✭✭✭pclancy


    Indeed. Tis the perfect time to remove any ass grease.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    Hiya Daithi,
    Firstly, not a bad thread.
    Secondly, urinals are not the same as cubicles no matter how hard you try to make them
    Thirdly, calling someone an asshole is personal abuse and isn't really allowed on boards
    Fourthly, I always wash my hands :)
    Fifthly, I don't engage strange men in conversation when they have their willies in their hands, it just seems very...George Michael...and that's not my thing, if it was then I would happily do so :)
    Sixthly (this is getting ridiculous), When I use a urinal I'll stand where there's room, if there is a choice I'll stand left or right of the centre urinal.
    Seventhly (?), I can't say I've noticed any guys staring at their manhood in awe. I have seen guys casually glance over at other guys, I'm an eyes front kind of person, if I wanted strangers talking at me while I'm doing my business I'd smile and say 'hello' :). I do talk to blokes I know, usually exchanging banalaties, not discussing socioeconomics in the developing world or anything.
    Eightly, I'm toilet trained and have been living with Mrs r3nu4l for 7.5 years...ergo, I always lift the toilet seat and replace it when finished (I hope my brethern in the RHBG forum don't read this last bit!)

    Hope this enhances your knowledge a bit :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 289 ✭✭louisecm


    Totally! I don't understand how women even manage it, is it that they hover while peeing and somehow manager to swivel their hips around in circles to ensure the seat is suitably covered in urine? Its vile.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,287 ✭✭✭source


    A GUIDE TO PROPER ETIQUETTE IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM

    Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's rooms," and several other names. As with any exclusive organization, wholy half the human race aren't allowed through the door, and a number of exceedingly complicated customs have arisen to maintain a sense of order and dignity.

    General rules:

    1. Don't talk to somebody you don't know. You may chat quietly with an acquaintance, but must absolutely not call attention to yourself.

    2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. Zit popping is only permissable after checking to see nobody else is around.

    3. No profanity of any kind. This is reserved for locker rooms, only.

    4. If you must wait, form a single-file line, ragged, and be sure to keep looking around. Read graffiti.

    Graffiti rules:

    5. All graffiti is anonymous. If there's any chance somebody can trace your graffiti back to you, don't do it.

    6. Writing graffiti in the open section of the bathroom is only acceptable if nobody can see you. Writing in the stalls is similarly acceptable.

    7. If the bathroom is sufficiently public, feel free to insult different ethnic/racial/sexual groups. If the bathroom is used by a small few, restrain comments to amusing anecdotes or chit-chat about secretaries. If visiting dignitaries from other companies or the government may tend to use the bathroom, graffiti is forbidden.

    8. Traditionally, all pictures feature women in various states of undress. Modern standards often include portions of male anatomy, discretely placed. Homosexual graffiti is generally frowned upon but is gaining popularity.

    9. Pictures must only be drawn in toilet stalls.

    10. Any sufficiently interesting graffiti will be painted over by the management of the bathroom.

    Urinal rules:

    11. Given a string of unoccupied urinals, you must choose one on the outside. When one outside urinal is occupied, use the other side, then middle. Avoid standing directly next to somebody at all costs.

    For example, given seven urinals, here are acceptable configurations:


    X...... (X == occupied, . == empty)
    X.....X
    X..X..X
    X.X.X.X
    XXX.X.X <-- These are only acceptable when significant
    XXX.XXX <-- "privacy" dividers are available. If the
    XXXXXXX <-- urinals aren't divided, use a toilet.

    12. Always look at the wall. Looking down means you're obsessed or don't know what you're doing. Looking at other people is threatening.

    13. Flushing is optional. Over time, the water will become a rich orange. At this point, flushing is mandatory.

    14. Don't start unzipping until you're protected by the privacy of the urinal. Don't step back until you've closed your pants again.

    Toilet rules:

    15. Reduce noise at all costs. Grunting is not acceptable.

    16. Always flush.

    17. When you find an unflushed toilet, leave it alone and use another.

    Special cases:

    18. Some university dormitories have co-ed bathrooms. New rules apply for dealing with the females. a. Never, ever, comment on how they look in the morning. b. Don't ask what the little wastebasket is for. c. If urinals are present, only use them when absolutely no females are around. If you are noticed by a female, try your best to ignore her presense until you're dressed again.

    19. Port-O-Let's and similar constructions are evil. Use them only if absolutely no other option is available.

    20. In the woods, far from civilization, restrooms typically aren't available. Get behind sufficient growth that you are completely invisible to the remainder of your party, before you begin. Check carefully that you aren't near any sort of animal or insect den. Ants are especially bad. If you forgot toilet paper, bring a leaf identifying guide. Poison oak makes a poor substitute.


  • Registered Users Posts: 88 ✭✭rusalka


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

    All you need to know, gentlemen - watch and learn! ;)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,556 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar


    i always wash my hands too, but really. there's no need it's just habit.

    urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.

    the hands are the filthiest part of the human body anyway, touching your dick and taking a piss makes absolutely no difference.. nor does a quick ten second dampness in the bathroom sink

    I commend all the men who are able to break free from the bathroom-nazi's spell, Freedom!

    now, if you'll excuse me.. I have to wash my hands.. who knows what else has been on this keyboard.


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  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    r3nu4l wrote:
    years...ergo, I always lift the toilet seat and replace it when finished (I hope my brethern in the RHBG forum don't read this last bit!)

    Hope this enhances your knowledge a bit :)

    brother r3nu4l, we need to talk.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭Crucifix


    When I hear cubicle I think stall not urinal.
    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?
    Because you should NEVER EVER talk to the guy beside you. NEVER!


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle. Or are you an expert
    on toilets?

    he just seems to have a better understanding of english than you do..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Daith&#237 wrote: »

    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?

    Cocaine use, defecation or masturbation


    Daith&#237 wrote: »


    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

    Afraid of giving impression that you are looking at someone's mickey

    Daith&#237 wrote: »

    7) Why do some guys stare at their manhood in awe?!

    Same as above


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 584 ✭✭✭hallelujah


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Hi folks!
    As for my own 'toilet style', well I go in, nod at whoever is there and exchange banalities, go about my business and then wash my hands.

    who cares?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 884 ✭✭✭NutJob


    As long as ye dont piss on the seat im happy.

    and i always wash my hands


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,930 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    now now.. you obviously havent seen this before. please pay attention as it will answer all your questions, OP :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 592 ✭✭✭poobum


    now now.. you obviously havent seen this before. please pay attention as it will answer all your questions, OP :D

    some dude already posted this! :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    I'm getting really tired of toilet threads....

    Daithi lacha... this thread is about as original as your nickname.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,212 ✭✭✭✭Tom Dunne


    r3nu4l wrote:
    years...ergo, I always lift the toilet seat and replace it when finished (I hope my brethern in the RHBG forum don't read this last bit!)

    Hope this enhances your knowledge a bit smile.gif


    copacetic wrote:
    brother r3nu4l, we need to talk.

    Indeed we do. Outside, now, brother r3nu4l.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Hi folks!

    This is not as disgusting as the title may suggest. However, being a male myself and someone who does NOT practice the habits I will outline below, perhaps those who do practice these things might be able to shed some light on it for me. Btw, I'm not obessesed by this - just some observances in my local last night.

    1) When there are 3 cubicles in the toilet, why do some lads pick the middle one??

    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?

    3) When there are one or two lads at the cublicles, why do some guys walk into the toilet, avoid eye contact, run into the toilet with the door, close it, LOCK it!, urinate, and then come out WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!!

    4) On that point, why do 90% of males not wash their hands?? (OK that figure might be a bit high!) I don't know how many times my other half or my other female friends were introduced to some rake who I know did not wash his hands.

    5) Why do some blokes stand at an odd angle as if they think that you want to view their willy??!!

    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

    7) Why do some guys stare at their manhood in awe?!

    That's just a few, I have loads of others. And again, I'm not some kind of pervert, I just feel it's my social duty to document these things, just as John B.Keane observed the peculiarities of corner boys!

    As for my own 'toilet style', well I go in, nod at whoever is there and exchange banalities, go about my business and then wash my hands.
    You must have spent an awful lot of time in the bathrooms to draw these conclusions tbh.
    Now,

    Why is it that you spent what seemed to be an extended period of time standing in the mens bathroom checking out what the other men were doing?

    To answer question 5:
    Probably to stop those lurking in bathrooms, such as yourself, from checking out their penis.


  • Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,144 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    Eyes front. No talking. End of.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    The youtube thing is a good laugh but a bit OTT.

    Getting full marks in this test will qualify you to answer the OP's questions.


    On the no talking thing...no matter what pub in the country you happen to be in, there'll always be some eejit in the jacks that tries to engage in small talk or pass some remark...on the occasion that that's directed at me, i'll respond in as short a way as possible and walk out...is it considered proper etiquette to just ignore them and get the f*ck out?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,025 ✭✭✭slipss


    As far as washing your hands goes, I never really understood why some people think it's a big deal if you dont(after a p1ss only of course). I mean if you wash your penis when you take a shower and you don't piss all over your hands for some bizare reason, then where exactly is the problem.


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    talking is allowed in one case.

    When someone lets one go at the urinals it has to be commented on by
    someone. A simple 'nice' will suffice if the dealer doesn't go with 'better
    out than in'


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,367 ✭✭✭Agamemnon


    I'm getting really tired of toilet threads....

    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    You're not the real FlutterinBantam! What have you done with him?!

    Call the mods, someone's hacked the Bant's account!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,333 ✭✭✭tampopo


    I agree with the poster who says why wash when and if you've had a shower and not pee'd all over your hands. However if I was working with food or drink, I'd wash me hands regardless and 'loiter' at the sink nearest the door till someone went out and catch it with my foot so as not to touch the handle, otherwise why bother to wash yer hands at all???

    I try not to imagine bar workers at the end of an evening picking up glasses by sticking their fingers in the glasses, and thinking about all gunk and spit and saliva and gollliers that are around the rims of the glasses, and if someone then rubs their nose or face...ugggg.

    About three weeks ago I was in the IFI and the cook left the jacks without washing his hands, went straight back to the kitchen....terrible...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,643 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Mordeth wrote:
    urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.
    I'm going to have to disagree with this. I am someone who washes their hands, for the simple reason that I like them clean. I don't just wash them after taking a piss because theres piss on my hands - I learned not to do then when I was about 2 years old, and I hope most other people did the same - but my hands were holding my penis, which is underneath my underwear which tends to get a little sweaty and generally smelly throughout the day. I would also wash my hands if I ever felt the urge to rub my armpits, for the exact same reason. I mightn't necessarily have been sweating profusely, but its a simple case of hygiene awareness.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,647 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    Saruman wrote:
    I hate it when i walk into a cubicle and fine piss all over the seat.
    am i the only one who found this funny?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle.

    I take 'cubicle' to mean the place with a door and a proper toilet (not a urinal).

    You're not the real Daithí Locha.


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    faceman wrote:
    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?

    admit away faceman, I'm listening. Tell us all about your swordfighting exploits with your 'mates'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Mordeth wrote:
    i always wash my hands too, but really. there's no need it's just habit.

    urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.

    Yes, but there may be something on the willies that are not clean and contagious too.
    Dogs spit is supposedly sterile too, but I'm still going to wash my face if he licks it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,885 ✭✭✭✭astrofool


    Urine is only sterile when in the body, as soon as it's out in the open, all sorts of nasties start to grow on it.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,647 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    copacetic wrote:
    admit away faceman, I'm listening. Tell us all about your swordfighting exploits with your 'mates'

    do you not know what it means or somethin??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    faceman wrote:
    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?


    I'd say about as many as will admit to preferring their mother to their g/f in your other thread...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    faceman wrote:
    do you not know what it means or somethin??

    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    boreds wrote:
    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha

    that sounds plausible, go with that faceman :)


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,647 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    boreds wrote:
    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha

    its 2 guys sharin a loo for peeing.


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,592 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    faceman wrote:
    its 2 guys sharin a loo for peeing.

    good save!


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