Middle Age and All That Jazz...

06-03-2020 1:41pm

Berties_Horse wrote: »

The OP made it clear. You're in your early thirties, why shoehorn an agenda? With respect.

Bertie, you've lost me.

I thought it was a nice post about how the best and happiest years are yet to come for the OP, and it was in direct response to the post above that suggested his best years were behind him. I don't even understand what agenda I could have, but I was trying to be nice. Anyway, I won't post again.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 06-03-2020 2:36pm

Candie wrote: »

Bertie, you've lost me.

I thought it was a nice post about how the best and happiest years are yet to come for the OP, and it was in direct response to the post above that suggested his best years were behind him. I don't even understand what agenda I could have, but I was trying to be nice. Anyway, I won't post again.

Ah Bertie... look what you did!

You only went and made AH's very own version of mother teresa cry... :P

Don't mind him Candie. You come back in here any time you feel like it, okay pet?

Deebles McBeebles · 06-03-2020 2:46pm

Candie wrote: »

Bertie, you've lost me.

I thought it was a nice post about how the best and happiest years are yet to come for the OP, and it was in direct response to the post above that suggested his best years were behind him. I don't even understand what agenda I could have, but I was trying to be nice. Anyway, I won't post again.

Must admit after reading your post, I'm struggling to see an agenda. Unless Bertie misread?

Deebles McBeebles · 06-03-2020 2:50pm

anewme wrote: »

And likewise, when you are an old fogey, you are old enough to understand what you don't like.:D

Which is fair if you give it a shot! I find the tendency though is to dismiss jazz because its a little more complex than your average radio-friendly chart song.

Carry · 06-03-2020 2:51pm

Berties_Horse wrote: »

The OP made it clear. You're in your early thirties, why shoehorn an agenda? With respect.

What are you talking about? What agenda?

It seems that you are either too old (doddery) or too young (inexperienced) to understand what Candie wrote. No offence. With respect.

But I'm serene enough to listen to (or read) your explanation what kind of agenda you've seen in Candie's post.
Go on.

Andrewf20 · 06-03-2020 2:51pm

topper75 wrote: »

I've had to make the same saddening observations in my locality. It feels to me that the Irish have forsaken Ireland somewhat - at least its physical environment.

Near where I live today there is a nice council picnic amenity by the water. On warm weekends it is still fullish, but 50% - 75% of the users are foreign (they can't number more than 10% of the population today in the area). The foreigners haven't forgotten how to enjoy the outdoors but the Irish seemingly have. Is it just the video game/netflix binge culture or is there more to it?

Mothers are out working more now so kids are stuck in monti or afterschool. They are then picked up and brought home for dinner and evening TV. Parents are working most of the summer also so alot of kids are booted into summer camps as well.

Kids who can play outside generally wander back indoors as there is often no one else to play with. Sometimes there's 2 or 3 on green for an hour but thats it.

I brought my 3 year across the road to the local woods on a number of occasions last autumn to pick raspberries off the tree's and eat. We did the same as kids. Not once did I see another parent over there with their kids doing likewise.

Kinda sad but maybe the kids today dont know any different.

Middle age can be busy especially with young kids. Between work, commute, housework there is barely time for much else. And there is the high chance you will have to care for elderly relatives in some form too.

06-03-2020 2:52pm

Folks, Bertie misread! I'm always doing it myself so no harm done.

Alun · 06-03-2020 2:54pm

topper75 wrote: »

Near where I live today there is a nice council picnic amenity by the water. On warm weekends it is still fullish, but 50% - 75% of the users are foreign (they can't number more than 10% of the population today in the area). The foreigners haven't forgotten how to enjoy the outdoors but the Irish seemingly have. Is it just the video game/netflix binge culture or is there more to it?

Same here in Bray. Walk the Bray - Greystones cliff path any day of the week and the majority of voices you hear are foreign, mainly eastern european. There's a few picnic tables at the start of the walk in Bray, and these also are nearly always occupied by foreigners.

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 2:58pm

Right. I'm 48, and I need you to know that at this stage bits will start creaking, and possibly even falling off. However, it's not all bad. I will share with you some of the wisdom I have gleaned...

Never bring a truck back empty. That is to say, whenever you bend down to tie a shoelace or whatever, pause and have a sconce around to see if there's anything else you can do while you're down there.

Oh and, take your time coming back up.

Whatever you do, don't ever pass a toilet. Even if you don't feel like "going" just at that moment, give it a try. Saunter in. Take your time. Hell, even sit down for a while if you feel like it. There might just manifest some dribble that will be a tremendous relief just a little later that afternoon. This applies in triplicate if you're going to be in the car for a while.

Never, EVER, trust a fart.

Adopt a new anthem. I like this one:

Spending most of Saturday in your bathrobe doing laundry and cooking is, slowly but inexorably, going to start looking like a perfectly reasonable, even desirable, proposition.

Some people, like Gardaí and insurance salespersons, are going to start looking like wet-behind-the-ears kids to you. This is disturbing for a while, but you get used to it.

"No" is a complete sentence, as are some people. You will disincline further either to sweat the petty things, or pet the sweaty things.

If I had to name my one major regret, it's not owning an old JCB so that I can legitimately claim, when bothered by such inconsequentials as my boss, my OH, or the Gardaí, to be "below claynin' dykes". Bite the bullet and be it.

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 3:04pm

Harry Palmr wrote: »

...
your cock will still work (probably)
...

Damn right. You might just find you're having more and better sex than ever, post-45.

Carry · 06-03-2020 3:07pm

Came across this one on broadsheet:

Something for us young oldies...

Leg End Reject · 06-03-2020 3:09pm

Why is everyone getting a dig at Candie?

Jealous of her youth?

creditcarder · 06-03-2020 3:18pm

Hmmm, I wonder is strange that I feel old at 27? :P

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 3:26pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Why is everyone getting a dig at Candie?

Jealous of her youth?

Young Candida is sunshine and lollipops and optimism and little fluffy pupples. She's also well able to tear someone's head off like a small, highly-intelligent chimpanzee and shit edumajaction down their pig-ignorant necks when provoked.

Leg End Reject · 06-03-2020 3:28pm

jimgoose wrote: »

Young Candida is sunshine and lollipops and optimism and little fluffy pupples. She's also well able to tear someone's head off like a small, highly-intelligent chimpanzee and shit edumajaction down their pig-ignorant necks when provoked.

Candida is an unfortunate choice of pet name, goose!

It conjures something decidedly more irritating.

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 3:29pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Candida is an unfortunate choice of pet name, goose!

You have no idea. :pac:

06-03-2020 3:34pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Candida is an unfortunate choice of pet name, goose!

My surname is Albicans!

Not really - it's Wallfix, as Jimgoose knows.

Jim is one of those guys who'll make you look in his pocket so he can show you
the number of f**ks he doesn't give. He's my role model.

Raconteuse · 06-03-2020 3:38pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Ah Bertie... look what you did!

You only went and made AH's very own version of mother teresa cry... :P

Don't mind him Candie. You come back in here any time you feel like it, okay pet?

No she's not like Mother Teresa at all. She's not pious and doesn't revel in making people suffer.

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 3:40pm

Candie wrote: »

My surname is Albicans!

Not really - it's Wallfix, as Jimgoose knows.

Jim is one of those guys who'll make you look in his pocket so he can show you
the number of f**ks he doesn't give. He's my role model.

Sleepy · 06-03-2020 3:42pm

As I approach my 40th birthday this year I find myself looking backwards more than forwards. Mostly wishing I could have had my current attitude to life, the universe and everything from my teens through to my 30s...

anewme · 06-03-2020 4:19pm

Alun wrote: »

Same here in Bray. Walk the Bray - Greystones cliff path any day of the week and the majority of voices you hear are foreign, mainly eastern european. There's a few picnic tables at the start of the walk in Bray, and these also are nearly always occupied by foreigners.

A complaint from the middle aged.....

DEY took our picnic tables.......:pac:

anewme · 06-03-2020 4:22pm

creditcarder wrote: »

The same thing seems to have happened in America from what I have heard. You usually see the second or third generation people enjoying the parks and not necesarily the WASP people. (the person was talking about a new indian population:P )

I have a theory that people do not want to look lower class.

By going for a walk in a Park

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 06-03-2020 4:25pm

Carry wrote: »

What are you talking about? What agenda?

It seems that you are either too old (doddery) or too young (inexperienced) to understand what Candie wrote. No offence. With respect.

But I'm serene enough to listen to (or read) your explanation what kind of agenda you've seen in Candie's post.
Go on.

I won't speak for Bertie, but it's becoming quite clear that Candie is very much anti-youth... she's finding it hard to conceal this agenda tbh!

She is telling the youth of today, that they must wait until they are between 60-69 to experience "peak happiness"... whatever that is? (Unless I am misreading, and she was referring to another type of 69? Which can also produce a peak of happiness!:pac:)

Doesn't she know that most of the youth today, will be lucky if they reach 69... Cocaine is not a very forgiving drug, when it comes to living a long life!

Shame on you Candie - show us youngsters some respect! I'm sickeningly youthful and handsome, and I'm having a great time in this weird and wacky world... I don't even mind talking to you wrinkly old timers on occasions. Some of you are quite amusing... (for old people)

jimgoose · 06-03-2020 4:30pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

...Shame on you Candie - show us youngsters some respect! I'm sickeningly youthful and handsome, and I'm having a great time in this weird and wacky world... I don't even mind talking to you wrinkly old timers on occasions. Some of you are quite amusing... (for old people)

I hope you're having a good time deliverooing your Uber in a beardy co-living environment. Soon enough you'll be trying to outrun a psychotic, mohawked 80-year-old on a turbonitrous GSX-R1000 salivating for your fresh, healthy liver. See you on the road, scag!

Wibbs · 06-03-2020 4:42pm

Thank fcuk that past 50 I've not had the difficulty in bending down or up thing some seem to have. No dribbling wee or need to work out where the jacks is. Not yet anyway. To be fair my oulfella at 80 plus could get into the lotus position and I never once heard him fire out a groan picking anything up so... The trick here seems to be to avoid middle aged spread. That extra weight buggers joints.

I would say, or at least from my observations of friends and others, that having kids while very fulfilling also seems to age many, especially men. I suppose all that responsibility to be The Adult(tm) and the fact you're watching them grow makes the years seem to fly by(sure t'was only yesterday they were babies etc). Time for me never sped up really. Goes at the same pace it always did, which is pretty slow. Ten, even five years ago seems like a lifetime away and twenty is like regarding a different me entirely.

I also hate and I mean hate nostalgia like the very plague. That "in our day" sh1te. A mix of it was better and look how hard we had it bollocks, nearly always mixed in with some serious memory embellishments, that seem to be collectively agreed upon for the sake of it. Or their memories are crap. Give me bloody strength. Thankfully my friends tend to avoid it.

I have generally found that men are much worse for this and lose mind plasticity with the years. The "I'm comfortable in myself" notion can often just mean they've decided a rigid set of what they believe in, "know" and who they are and they're going to ride that all the way to the grave by God!

Women are more likely to get a second wind I've found. I suppose teh menopause creates an end of one thing and a beginning of something else. Or at least I have found it far far more difficult to change the mind of a 60 year old man compared to a 60 year old woman. No matter what the evidence and reality is.

Raconteuse · 06-03-2020 4:45pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

I won't speak for Bertie, but it's becoming quite clear that Candie is very much anti-youth... she's finding it hard to conceal this agenda tbh!

She is telling the youth of today, that they must wait until they are between 60-69 to experience "peak happiness"... whatever that is? (Unless I am misreading, and she was referring to another type of 69? Which can also produce a peak of happiness!:pac:)

Doesn't she know that most of the youth today, will be lucky if they reach 69... Cocaine is not a very forgiving drug, when it comes to living a long life!

Shame on you Candie - show us youngsters some respect! I'm sickeningly youthful and handsome, and I'm having a great time in this weird and wacky world... I don't even mind talking to you wrinkly old timers on occasions. Some of you are quite amusing... (for old people)

:pac:

But above all...

Woke Hogan · 06-03-2020 5:06pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

No she's not like Mother Teresa at all. She's not pious and doesn't revel in making people suffer.

It would be you then, would it?

TuringBot47 · 06-03-2020 5:11pm

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__OSyznVDOY

Sounds like a group of "special" school children with kazoos

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

People often don't like what they don't understand.

If we were talking about calculus here, I'd agree, but we're not.
Maybe it only appeals to people who don't like order, tune and melody...

iamstop · 06-03-2020 5:34pm

If you're new to Jazz and trying to get into it I suggest starting with a Blue Note records compilation. I think it's some of the more easily digestible but still innovative stuff. Also try some CTI records and Kudu Records.
Within those three labels you will find that a lot of stuff sampled to make some of the golden era hip hop of the mid 90s.

I can't wait for it to warm up again so I can cycle to work again. The car is making me grow a tire.

Gynoid · 06-03-2020 6:45pm

jimgoose wrote: »

If I had to name my one major regret, it's not owning an old JCB so that I can legitimately claim, when bothered by such inconsequentials as my boss, my OH, or the Gardaí, to be "below claynin' dykes". Bite the bullet and be it.

Thankfully I can still fully trust my farts and bladder but on your last point here we have shared ground. Recently I discovered that 'tis but a 2 day course to get the digger ticket, that there is always call for digger drivers, that they get paid fairly well per hour, and feck me if I amn't thinking as a lady in her early 50s that it sounds like something I might very well do! Part time

Raconteuse · 06-03-2020 7:59pm

I think some jazz is great. It's a broader genre than you'd think. It's not all the turgid improv stuff.

adox · 06-03-2020 8:06pm

Don’t get all the jazz hate or its relation to age.

iamstop · 06-03-2020 8:07pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

I think some jazz is great. It's a broader genre than you'd think. It's not all the turgid improv stuff.

Was looking for a word of the day for the whiteboard in work, cheers! :cool:

TuringBot47 · 06-03-2020 8:51pm

adox wrote: »

Don’t get all the jazz hate or its relation to age.

Check out the thread title

anewme · 06-03-2020 9:29pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Check out the thread title

I'm laughing away here.

I didnt think OP meant jazz music specifically.

More like ...middle age and all that jazz as in middle age and all that comes with it.. similar things.....etc. in fact theres no actual reference to music at all in the post.

As people started going on about jazz and likening it or hating it...I too like a sheep just joined in and answered in my reply that I dreaded it as I thought other posters were saying they got into jazz in their middle age. I didn't actually connect it with the thread title at all.

Heckler · 06-03-2020 10:21pm

I turned 47 last week. I'm trim enough, still have hair with no grey and frequently get mistaken for being 10 years younger despite drinking and smoking far too much.

Despite working a physical enough job I'm fecked from the smokes, bought a nose and ear trimmers recently enough (great buy), have a reputation at work for being a cranky bastard (actually quite cheerful) and my knees make weird noises going up the stairs.

My personal and job life is an absolute train wreck but I have great family and friends.

As for the jazz it's A-Team.

"Hannibal's Social Security Number, revealed in the fifth-season episode "Dishpan Man", is 044-34-0681B. Thriving on adventure and the adrenaline rush of life-threatening situations (or being "on the jazz", as the rest of the team refers to it)."

anewme · 07-03-2020 12:21am

creditcarder wrote: »

More sitting down tbh and seen to be relaxing. America's a bit weird in that way with the go go mentality. Noticed it in one of my exes.

Edit: Did you read the post I replied to as a matter of interest?

Your response was the one about if people go to parks they are seen as lower class people

Many Americans have Summer Houses and go on Vacation...hardly low class stuff.

Because you noticed a trait in one of your ex's, you are making weird sweeping judgements on whole races of people.

This thread is a positive thread, with people having a laugh and great interaction...it would be a pity to bring racism, sexism, negativity into it.

nthclare · 07-03-2020 12:50am

Ahhh middle aged and I think ive fallen in love for the first time in my life.
She's as mad as a box of frog's but not your red flag npd type, more like full of life and accepts im bisexual and has no hang ups as she said she was going through a lezzer stage up until 4 years ago and she knows how bi people think and the of thinking with both sides of the brain.

We're living apart but know each other 2 years now, we'll go exclusive though just the two us, we both have sons, mines 19 hers is 3 from a sperm donation.

We've both houses we got out of inheritance money so no mortgage which is great, she's by the beach I'm in the Burren.

So being a dad I adapted to her world and her mine.
All that shoite of kids getting in the way goes out the window when you really love someone and are a responsible adult.

She's a bit of a gypsy bohemian type and thats cool, not a Liberal lefty loon but a moderate type, well I suppose she's normal with her convictions.

Like my self we think social justice warriors and strident activists are knobs..

But sure we're probably knobs as we both know what its like to sit on one.
But as they say love conquers all.

Middle age is cool.

wfdrun · 07-03-2020 12:51am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqZbPRGSpJw

Heckler · 07-03-2020 12:53am

nthclare wrote: »

Ahhh middle aged and I think ive fallen in love for the first time in my life.
She's as mad as a box of frog's but not your red flag npd type, more like full of life and accepts im bisexual and has no hang ups as she said she was going through a lezzer stage up until 4 years ago and she knows how bi people think and the of thinking with both sides of the brain.

We're living apart but know each other 2 years now, we'll go exclusive though just the two us, we both have sons, mines 19 hers is 3 from a sperm donation.

We've both houses we got out of inheritance money so no mortgage which is great, she's by the beach I'm in the Burren.

So being a dad I adapted to her world and her mine.
All that shoite of kids getting in the way goes out the window when you really love someone and are a responsible adult.

She's a bit of a gypsy bohemian type and thats cool, not a Liberal lefty loon but a moderate type, well I suppose she's normal with her convictions.

Like my self we think social justice warriors and strident activists are knobs..

But sure we're probably knobs as we both know what its like to sit on one.
But as they say love conquers all.

Middle age is cool.

Enjoy every minute.

dd973 · 07-03-2020 2:32am

If the guy with the black hood and the scythe is awaiting you in three years time OP then you're not 'middle aged', you're old! You can only live in the now whether you're 2 or 92, therefore don't bother your head about any of it.

Graces7 · 08-03-2020 2:34pm

francois wrote: »

The only difference I noticed is the involuntary grunt I emit when bending down to pick stuff up

And the groan when you try to stand upright again...

Graces7 · 08-03-2020 2:55pm

Approaching 80 and more at peace than ever in my entire life.

It is an acceptance of increasing but unimportant limitations as values and priorities gentle down. Having been seriously limited by CFS/ME for decades is a great help with this .

Being ALIVE is a joy and a privilege. Older now than any of my family reached. My only brother drowned at 19; I have had so much more of life .

I was thinking earlier today that of late I am more at peace with "retirement. " I kept moving on to more and different active work. Only retired from market trading early 70s .. 12 hour days ...

Now I am aware that I am... well.... past it! Able to rest and revel in birdsong and cat purr and not be expected by folk to participate and involve.
I have retired!

Life is a blessing with all its pains ( and I have plenty!) And I no longer expect of my body and mind what it really does not need to do. My life is in its eventide. Thankfully so.

I HAVE STOPPED! ( well, nearly.. just that flowerbed to sow..)

Kylta · 19-03-2020 11:53am

What is age but a state of mind!
Jaysus jazz is the closest thing to eternal torture. Why would a person inflict such pain on ones being

anewme · 19-03-2020 12:35pm

Jaysus with this thing going round, we will be lucky to make it middle age at all.

Ger Roe · 19-03-2020 1:24pm

My birth cert says I am in my mid 50's, but in my mind I would say I think of myself as being in my 30's. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I get a bit shocked at the age process result that appears before me - that's not how I see myself.

There are changes occurring, my weight is rising and hair is grey to white, I am starting to collect some ailments and I now visit doctors and hospitals more often than I used to.

On a positive note, I have two 'kids', one mid 20's and another mid teens. I really enjoy interacting with them and bestowing upon them the benefit of my experiences. They actually appreciate my inputs in politics, music etc and they are constantly amazed at my ability to draw on a previous technical career to keep the broadband operating in the house and in connecting the plethora of devices and services that we use daily. They also get great amusement from watching 'Reeling in the years' and hearing my 'real remembered' commentary.

My eldest has gone into a good tech career thanks to my influence and he still enjoys doing occasional electronic projects with me. My youngest is a big music fan and is out of step with her peers by being a fan of the more classic rock associated bands and artists. Until the current virus situation, we were going to see The Who, Ben Portsmouth (look him up), Greenday and ELO, during this year.

I also work a lot with young people and am considered a bit of an oracle for my random knowledge on random subjects - gathered over a lifetime of being a self confessed geek.

Overall, middle age ain't bad, if only the body co-operated with the mind in it's quest to stay young(er).

lastusername · 19-03-2020 1:31pm

BrianD3 wrote: »

I'm a couple of years younger than 45 and have noticed changes in outlook and mindset in recent years. I don't think it's just about my age but rather my age combined with other factors and life events (which tend to happen at this age). In my case, the events/factors have been relatives getting sick and dying, my career being stuck in a rut, not having a partner or any friends, having a long commute. Life seems mundane, disappointing and fairly short.

It's often said that you shouldn't compare yourself to others but this is easier said than done. By age 45, it will be quite apparent who of your age cohort has done well in terms of their career and who has not done so well. Whereas at age 25, many will be in a relatively similar situation as everyone is just starting out

People come out with cliches about how you can do anything you want at any point in your life. But you really can't because you you are limited by time, money, energy and may have commitments that you didn't have when you were younger. Other people's perceptions of you may also affect you e.g. you want to change to a particular career at age 45 but face age discrimination. Also, as time goes on you have less time to recover from errors of judgement.

I find myself thinking back to when I was a third level student. I had very little money and used to get stressed about exams but I was very focused and there was always something to prepare and aim for. Effort got rewarded - if I studied hard, I did well in my exams. I was cynical about a lot of things but also optimistic about my own future. I barely thought about my own mortality or getting old. i suppose I was under the illusion that life would be somewhat like an extension of college (but with more money) which it certainly has not been

100% of your experience of life is created by your thinking, not life events or circumstances. It seems it simply couldn't be and it's not what the vast majority of us know or are brought up believing.

But when you do really see this, it changes everything. I recommend having a look at the writings, videos, podcasts of Sydney Banks, Michael Neill, Amir Karkouti and others. Note: this is not about 'changing your thinking' or positive thinking - it's MUCH bigger than all of that.

Middle Age and All That Jazz...

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