Letting to a friend - Issues

ArthurG wrote: »

At the risk of sounding harsh, you need to grow a pair. Your OH doesn't want to jeopardise her 'frienship' with this individual, when in fact it could have a more significant impact on her realtionship with you. Your lodger needs to go.

I agree with this. She has not treated you or your property with respect so I would just tell her she is out, have a few lines ready to rattle off about her behaviour. No pussy footing around it.

I've never been a landlord but lived in plenty of house shares with annoying and sometimes plain ignorant people. I tend to avoid confrontation so didn't get involved, but other housemates sometimes tried to address the problem housemates with rotas, passive-aggressive texts, house meetings etc which just led to more arguments in my experience.

Better to just be honest and tell her face to face she is gone by next week. Is she an aggressive type? If so, change the locks after she is gone.

1874 wrote: »

Just make plans to defend against the "he tried it on with me when you were away" response.
If she even hints or suggests it, then be ready with the, "well if that happened why bring it up only now" just so yhou dont get flustered by shock, and aso tell her she has 5 minutes to bag up what she can carry, hand over key and arrange to collect rest of her stuff at another date.

Or turn it on it’s head and tell your missus that she tried it on with you while missus was away - she’ll be out the door like **** out of a goose.

Judith Damp Asteroid wrote: »

Airbnb is taxable so the op will lose half the rent in tax compared to rent a room which is tax free.

Why the need for excuses? Then them to live by your rules or get out.

My cunning plan was just to avoid bad feeling. Some people prefer it that way.
There was no need to ever actually use BnB.

Sounds like a total piss taker- bet she had no intention of emigrating. Just a ply to get in and get cheap rent

Deleted User wrote: »

The advice of kicking out a friend into a hostel is absolutely bonkers. Where planet do you people live on. Address her poor behaviour first at the very minimum.

That poster is famous for that kind of militant advise

Say to her that she understood it was a temporary arrangement and she has two months to find a new place as you no longer wish to rent the room.

Work off the assumption that the friendship is a lost cause. Truth be told thats been dead since the day it was ever even suggested, you just didn't realize it until now. Had you asked literally anybody if it would have ended well you'd have been unanimously told not to even consider it. life lesson learned, move on.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The advice of kicking out a friend into a hostel is absolutely bonkers. Where planet do you people live on. Address her poor behaviour first at the very minimum.

Well if she behaved herself, respected the generosity and boundaries of her “friends” then she wouldn’t be facing that. She brought it all on herself and actions have consequences- she’ll have to deal with that!

Deleted User wrote: »

Read the OP? Why didn't I think of that.


A conversation with the lodger is the first port of call. Not turfing them out and letting them fend for themselves. This lodger is a friend of OP's OH ffs. Would you honestly turf out a friend of your OH without notice? If you would then I feel sorry for your friends. Would a month to find a new place not be reasonable? Yes, where she goes is her problem but a bit of empathy for a friend wouldn't go astray, let alone a stranger. Have information on hostels at hand? Holy ****.


This lodger is utterly oblivious to how they are to live with, some people are like that, but they won't change their ways unless they're made aware of it. An honest conversation could solve the issue.

TBH, some of your post while understandably sypathetic is a bit much, any adult that doesnt take responsiblity for their own actions and behaviour and is that inconsiderate is a bit of a tool, that said, I consider the OP really has an unwitting hand in this in that they sound too passive and didnt tackle this head on when it cropped up first, but they should have tackled it before it ever came up at all by laying ground rules down at the start and sticking to the 3months and then maybe extending that by a month or 2. It has all the potential of being a difficult situation made easier by laying ground rules at the start/clearly not laying ground rules has meant in the absence of any, this person feels they can do as they please, laying down the law later is never going to go well as the person is settled in. I dont think the OPs partner will be hearing much from the friend after she departs.
It is an out and out psstake to bring complete strangers to the OPS house on a regular basis as she was helped out by them.
Person needs to move on, they are taking advantage, plenty of nice people who will respect your place and not mess you about who are looking for a room, if they dont work out, move them on, no hassles, doing this for friends and relatives has the potential to go pear shaped badly as you are more likely to have to put up with hassle and be bumping into them again.

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think what she's doing is all that bad tbh. Nothing that couldn't be solved with a frank conversation and a cleaning rota. She's an adult and can sleep with whoever she wants, imo.

But the OPs post is essentially that they dont like it, The Op isnt trying to prevent her sleeping with who she wants, he just seems not to want her to have guests in their home, as a licencee, she is a guest, a guest then cannot bring their own guests too.
In a lot of cases of licensees and even house shares people in the house dont want random strangers they dont know in the house, could be anyone, but inparticular this is the OPs home, they were doing the person a favour, not opening up as a flop house for this person to let whoever they wanted in, I guess its a matter of outlook and respect for other people, some people wont consider others and will impose on generosity without thought or regard.

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think what she's doing is all that bad tbh. Nothing that couldn't be solved with a frank conversation and a cleaning rota. She's an adult and can sleep with whoever she wants, imo.

Absolutely, but she should try and Keep it down.
However she’s a guest in these people’s house and shouldn’t be bringing back randomers or having people stay over.

No one us saying she can’t go to a hotel or to the blokes house.

First rule or hook ups is always go to there’s so you can leave when you want. Nothing worse than trying to get rid of someone the following morning.

worded wrote: »

Hi,

If she rings threshold they will not speak to her as she is not a tenant she is a licencee as has been said.

You have to give reasonable notice so a month is fine.

When advertising the place again suggest you do the following

Advertise a single occupancy rate and a couple date rate PM. So note this in the body of the details. This means if the single person becomes a full time couple they were level set / pre warned of a couple rate.

Consider a m-f deal and -20% of market value. Someone may go home every weekend.

Watch out for someone who says they are back home most weekends if that’s a bonus for your.

Never put your phone number on the daft ad. Short list by email.

Only reply to ppl you want to by email and ask

Thanks for your email enquiry.

“is it for you Solo or for a couple and or kids“

Can I ask about your work or study etc

These two questions will usually give you enough info to let you know if they warrant interest.

Find out if they work shift work - does this suit you to have someone working nights etc ?

It’s illegal (you can be sued) to refuse someone on RAS / unemployed but you don’t have to reply to their emails if you don’t want to, that’s not illegal.

Short list to 2 to 5 ppl for interviews and choose one. I’ve been sub letting for years successfully and happily choosing the right ppl for years.

No lease, just a page detailing move in date. Deposit x rent y.

Official move in date and signing date can be different so document it to leave no ambiguity in the future.

Rent to be paid on or before every whatever date every mth.


Signed

You_________________
Owner Occupier

Them________________
licensee

This makes it crystal clear the person is not a tenant and it’s not a lease but conf rent / dep received. Give a rent receipt every mth.

Note any rules you want but keep it brief.

Lastly .....

You may be better off sharing with the right strangers rather than a mate. Choose carefully. Shortlist by Email

Its the OPs home, they do NOT have to give any notice, it might be fair and reasonable, but if the person is not being reasonable, anti social or hostile, can be told to take what they can manage 5 mins and arrange the rest at a later date and go there and then, or Gardai, so you're wrong.


There is no way this comes under any legislation, if anyone said to me Threshold in my home as a means to debate or dispute me, Id show them the door,


An owner-occupier is better off writing nothing down for a licencee and they are under no obligation, it might just tie them to conditions or interpretations they didnt consider, or at least making up a list of rules you expect and have the licencee sign it, its not a lease, but a list of the highlighted agreements, I've had people tell me they werent smokers when they clearly were, as they lied I didnt let them move in, others who were smokers who told me they wouldnt smoke in house, most couldnt keep to that, is that serious/important, well if an owner doesnt smoke and they dont like it, yes, plus the risk of people smoking in the place they may not as easily be noticed, like the bedroom and potentially falling asleep and causing a fire, so rules for a licencee, yes, rules for the homeowner, well other than be fair and reasonable, but if its not returned --> door


I dont believe there is anything illegal about a person declining anyone on any basis to stay in their own home, I dont think RAS pays for a room, but if they do, a homeowner is under no obligation to take them on, Id steer clear of comments related to it and definitely in an advert, but I would be reluctant to let to someone who is potentially going to be around all day and cranking up the heating.
An email is an ok means to get contacted, but so is a seperate PAYG phone, I wouldnt put my main number in.

A rent receipt would be fair, but again no obligation, its like a PAYG accomodation contract, either can end it quite quickly, a months notice is fair and could be insisted on the owners side, but as mentioned, they are not obliged to honour that if there is any problem that is not resolved.

I let rooms and for the most part, I had no problems, but there were always people who would push on things, like not paying on time even though they had money for other stuff, not clean up after themselves/leave the place in a mess for everyone else and disrupt other people and you have to push them back, if they arent cooperative, its best to get rid of them sooner rather than later, maybe they'll learn something from that and not be difficult in their next place.

Hogzy wrote:

UPDATE: She finally left!!!

Under what circumstances?

Hogzy wrote: »

UPDATE: She finally left!!!

Next issue is that herself is too afraid to follow up on the bills that are owed from the friend. ESB/Gas is billed every two months and friend left at the end of month one. Getting fairly pissed off at the lack of my OH's backbone and the fact im going to have to split the cost of the bill, which includes the higher than usual energy bill because her boyfriend had been over 4 days:rolleyes:

Is it really worth getting annoyed over at most 40 or 50 quid? You have your house back

Hogzy wrote: »

UPDATE: She finally left!!!

Next issue is that herself is too afraid to follow up on the bills that are owed from the friend. ESB/Gas is billed every two months and friend left at the end of month one. Getting fairly pissed off at the lack of my OH's backbone and the fact im going to have to split the cost of the bill, which includes the higher than usual energy bill because her boyfriend had been over 4 days:rolleyes:

I'll advise you to rent out to a complete stranger. Also, don't do bills. Your max per year is €14k, so if the rent+bills you (should of) got off yer wan was around the €1,165 mark, consider just charging that amount, with rules on usage. Or if the intake was less, then just have the new rent at CurrentRent+Bills+10%

Most people realise that as you own the place, should they not play ball, you can kick them out.