What do you call it?

Topper

Sharpener here from 'The North'

The answer is topper and every other word for it is wrong

Topper

Ive never even heard of a topper, sounds like a toy or an old comic book. Its a parer

A 'pen' knife ....

A topper.

Wexford!

I remember kelloggs boxes having The Mask Pencil Toppers and being confused when they were things to stick on top of your pencil. Made them too top heavy and hard to use

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/MpBXofHo7WYF2zid7kUD-4fPThClJJGC6fqTm5arjk8IJGdTTFJ0ohXyqI7Ty15wql3x44nHTW8e1tBbz-B9X21jwt-nQg1-Wx_OxyDi00f54JqydKfAidMBng

Eleven Benevolent Elephants wrote: »

That's a real Monaghan name!

From Armagh but living in Monaghan so you can't have been much closer!

A parer, I've never heard it called a topper.

Topper reminds me of the cartoon characters etc that we used to put on top of pencils in school. You'd think you were great with that, your fancy paper and scented rubber.

What's the point of this thread anyway? Boom Boom.

I think a parer is the best one because that's what you do it it - pear it like paring an apple. You take off the outside to reveal the inside. You don't really 'sharpen' it, that's what you do with a knife, though that's debatable. A pointer would be the second best and a topper is just ridiculous.


This reminds me, when I was 6 I had a pencil sword fight at school with a class mate. Unfortunately I stabbed him in the finger and the lead broke off and stayed embedded in his finger. To make things worse he was the next door neighbour of the head teacher so you can imagine I wasn't very popular that day. I wouldn't mind but he started it.

Rothko wrote: »

Parer sounds posher to me than sharpener.

I’m from Dublin Northside. It was only ever a parer. Sharpener to me sounds like you’d need to be wearing a monocle to say it. “Pass me the sharpener, William. I am presently about to pen a missive, and my pencil is rather dull.” As opposed to “Giz de parer, ya muppet. Me bleedin pencil’s bolloxed”.

As for topper, I remember the first time my wife said it to me. She was all like “Be the hokey, my penchil is broke. I’ll put the topper to it now, so I will. And then I’ll foot the turf”. I was like “why are you making up a stupid word for a parer? And we have gas central heating, we don’t use turf”. I absolutely refuse to use the word, it’s one of my red lines. She calls the lid of a milk carton or plastic bottle a “cork” too - unacceptable!

She’s lying in bed beside me snoring her head off now. I’ll fücking topper if I can’t get to sleep.