What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 14-07-2020 11:33pm #1

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like

Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.
Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.
If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.
Speeders will be crushed in their car.
If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.
NWCI and pavee point abolished.
Traveller ethnic status removed
Abolish inheritance tax.
Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.
Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.
Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.
Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.
Artificial sweeteners in drinks, foodstuffs, mouthwash, chewing gum to be banned. Possession, consumption or manufacturing or said will result in death by boiling in water.
Slot machines to be banned.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me :pac:

Leg End Reject · 14-07-2020 11:36pm

I'd insist you remember your hatred of teachers in the enforcement of your regime.

893bet · 14-07-2020 11:38pm

Reregs to be shot on sight.

maherhonda · 14-07-2020 11:38pm

If you pop out a child and can't afford to house it the child will be put up for adoption or you will be given a caravan by the state to live in. Social housing would be done away with. Pay your way or feck off, people are purposely popping out children to get a free house.

Anyone on the dole and are not actively seeking work every week there welfare will be cut altogether. Proof has to be uploaded every week and any interviews done will be sent onto dole office with feedback.

14-07-2020 11:48pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Traveller ethnic status removed.

That would be number one in my priorities.

14-07-2020 11:49pm

Bring back the 10 pack of cigarettes

TheValeyard · 14-07-2020 11:51pm

I'd bring back the original monster munch recipe

Blondini · 14-07-2020 11:52pm

Luke Kelly statue immediately replaced with statue of Mr. Fegelien

gogo · 14-07-2020 11:52pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.

Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.

If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.

Speeders will be crushed in their car.

If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.

NWCI and pavee point abolished.

Traveller ethnic status removed

Abolish inheritance tax.

Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.

Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.

Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.

Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me :pac:

Jesus Stalin, you put a worrying amount of thought into that list .... o^o

Atlantic Dawn · 14-07-2020 11:57pm

My top ten...

Anyone with a double barrelled name would be reassigned the surname "Bellendia"
Wearing no socks or hidden socks while not wearing shorts will result in a permanent tatoo of a sock etched on your leg.
Any man who has hair that resembles a birds nest shall have an actual birds nest surgically embedded on their head.
If you can't position the L sticker on your car the correct way around you have a toe amputated to remind you.
Creation of a replica car model will result in a permanent ban on ever owning a car of any description for life.
Wearing of North Face lagging jackets in the middle of summer will result in your imprisonment from June to August in your local supermarkets chiller room.
Not having payment ready when your goods make their way through a checkout will result in seizure of all your assets and permission to only ever have access to €10 of cash at any given time.
Parking beside another car when there's 50 other spaces in the car park with no cars next to results in your car being crushed.
If you stop moving at the top of an escalator a nearby sniper will shoot you in the knee as a reminder to continue walking.
Adding a 'green' technology to your home where it won't make it's money back within 10 years banned.

JJayoo · 14-07-2020 11:59pm

Murders/rapists/pedos are to be castrated and have their eyes removed

JohnnyFlash · 15-07-2020 12:08am

I'd only allow party members to own dogs. If you clean up and bin after your dog then you'd probably be a good candidate for the party.

Collie D · 15-07-2020 12:10am

Strict social distancing to be enforced in office toilets.

There is no reason other than some weird fetish to go into a cubicle beside someone else when there are three or four other empty ones.

Ubbquittious · 15-07-2020 12:21am

Pubs would be kept closed
5km lockdown re-introduced
No plane or ferry in or out of the country carrying passengers

Corona virus cases will drop to 0 but I will go to my country retreat for a few weeks and circle around on a nice posh ride on lawnmower while everyone waits for me to emerge and start making statements again.

When unrest starts to build and pitchforks are being sharpened I'll lift all the lockdown rules, re-open all pubs with no closing time and no vat on the drinks, temporarily pedestrianise any streets that have more than a few pubs on them.

Few days later close all the pubs again to reduce the influx of alcohol poisoning victims arriving to the hospitals

El Tarangu · 15-07-2020 12:24am

Ban chewing gum.

I wouldn't ban gambling altogether, but I would certainly introduce some draconian restrictions on how bookies operate shops and online.

riclad · 15-07-2020 12:38am

Irish would be voluntary after 1 year, you can choose another subject like French chemistry that might actually be useful in the real world.
Anyone that refuses child vaccination will lose children's allowance, and will have to inform the local school of the vaccination status of their child.

riclad · 15-07-2020 12:40am

riclad wrote: »

Irish would be voluntary after 1 year, you can choose another subject like French chemistry that might actually be useful in the real world.
Anyone that refuses child vaccination will lose children's allowance, and will have to inform the local school of the vaccination status of their child.
Anyone that gets of a plane will have their temperature checked.
A tax credit for anyone who buys an electric bike or a scooter.

Sexual Chocolate · 15-07-2020 12:40am

Lock up all the cyclist.

Strumms · 15-07-2020 12:42am

Sexual Chocolate wrote: »

Lock up all the cyclist.

All of him ? :eek:

ckerryman · 15-07-2020 4:31am

No public money for NGO’s, Charities etc
No public money for Ethic studies.
Freedom of speech Law
Complete overhaul of the Legal institutions and Profession.
If RTE interviews someone on a subject, they must give time to an opposing viewpoint.
A Right to self defense, (up to killing someone)
No Civil Service Unions.
And
Only for purpose of pissing off Sinn Fein, I would legalize the ownership of ArmaLite AR-15’s semi-automatic rifles.
Only members and supporters of other political parties could own them.

15-07-2020 6:26am

I don't believe in a monarchy but will make an exception. When I am king,

Everybody will be obliged to participate in Tidy Towns activities,
Begin a Great Leap Forward in house-building; 1970s bungalows demolished with immediate effect.
The National Lottery will be won nightly. All winners will come on television and donate their winnings back to the State. They will look happy about it.
When I am king we will bring back penguins, grey wolves, oak forests, and heavy industry.
The Angelus to be replaced by 1 hr of Sunday Miscellany, broadcast on loudspeakers.
The national anthem will be The West's Awake, without the rowdy bits.

To suppress dissent, the Great Xanax Plant will be spinning her turbines day & night.

Gloomtastic! · 15-07-2020 6:38am

For starters.....

Fly tippers evicted from their homes and forced to live In tents on top of the city dump for six months.

People caught littering made to serve 6 months Community Service- picking up litter.

Ban all plastic bottles under 1.5litres

All plastic wrapping to be banned.

Corporation tax for the large corporate sugar peddlers - Eg Kinder, Cadbury’s, Haribo and Kellogg’s etc, Increased to 95%.

Spearmint Polo · 15-07-2020 6:56am

All self confessed Liverpool supporters to be transferred by dingys to the South Pole without food until arrival.

whisky_galore · 15-07-2020 6:57am

Charities forced to amalgamate, multiple mom-and-pop charities for the same cause to be done away with.

Religious orders assets and properties to be confiscated, used for common good of surrounding community and/or sold to compensate victims of clerical abuse.

Free legal aid only available for limited number of appearances, serial offenders go fund it yourself or represent yourself in court.

RTE stripped of all fluff down to simply news, culture and current affairs. RTE comedy department sent to gulag in Cavan for reeducation.

Kylta · 15-07-2020 7:10am

Assassinate all wanna be dictators, then fu¢king deport everybody from my Ireland, then I could live in peace and harmony all by myself.

Tzardine · 15-07-2020 7:21am

Public flogging for anybody that plays youtube etc through their phone speaker on public transport.

Thats all I want.

Signore Fancy Pants · 15-07-2020 7:37am

The introduction of "Titty Tuesday".

Women can walk around topless all day every Tuesday if they want. Anyone who does gets Friday off.

"Willy Wednesday" will not be introduced.

martinedwards · 15-07-2020 7:40am

Long standing rant of mine.

Call your child whatever you want, but there will be state provided spelling of the name.

No more Junathon, Kathryn, Shaun, or Muhammud

Kylta · 15-07-2020 7:52am

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

The introduction of "Titty Tuesday".

Women can walk around topless all day every Tuesday if they want. Anyone who does gets Friday off.

"Willy Wednesday" will not be introduced.

You could also have
Wicked Wednesday
Torturing Thursday.
Fornicating Friday
Stoning Saturday
Silent Sunday
Mayhem Monday

JustAThought · 15-07-2020 8:14am

A few idle things I will bring in straight-off when I am in charge:

All farming activity to cease and farmers
to be given an 80k salary to do nothing every
year - they can choose to bother working elsewhere in retail or teashops or not - it will be very good for the environment and river pollution & give wildlife a chance

Big fencing in and heated tent dome projects on some unwanted underused parts of the country like Monaghan and/orLeitrim - allow species in danger to have huge parts of it for habitat & breeding - African Elephants, Tigers etc. Should be interesting and also help keep rural crime down a bit.

September is usually nice - ban working in September apart for civil servants & teachers who will use the time to do proper school plans. Everyone to have the month off on full pay to give them time to enjoy Autumn and the bit of sunshine and recharge a bit.

Everyone who works and contributes to get a 3 week voucher to holiday outside of Ireland somewhere interesting or sunny and have to use this every year to give them a break from this country and a return on their taxes and bit of vitiman D.

Great big new skyscraper prisons to be built with lots of greenery outside to disguise them for the locals and no TV/internet/playstations . Lockdown at 5pm and up at dawn working breaking rocks for salling as gravel in garden centres or for graveyards or digging holes and then refilling them etc. No work no food. Families of prisoners allowed one letter a week or one zoom call from a garda station which be
monotored. CAB to immediately investigate lifestyle of criminals families and sieze any unaccounted for assets and imprison if outside adults living off proceeds of crime.

No grey or juicy tracksuits or unkempt neck beards to be allowed.

Free 6 monthly dental trips compulsorary with all work needed paid for in full.

Shambolically dressed and unkempt people to be taken and given a makeover and new wardrobe voucher & their old wardrobe burned ( except for shoes).

All smoking and vapng to be punishable by removal of a lung, apart from pipe and cigar smoking which will be allowed

Compulsorary organ donation when dead ( unless theres a very good reason).

Three carers to be allocated to every family with a disabled or in need family member and a reasonable house of their choosing given to them.

A end to the well know social scams including free legal aid, so called babies for free house for life, working taxpayers supporting lifelong dole scroungers, and an end to the farce of itinerants veing paid to have 7 or 8 kids and being given ethnitic status and allowed never work. Round them up and onto the tills with them or data entering phone-numbers.

No more
multiple pensions of 8-10k a month for politicians - one pension only of 3k a month payable from the age of 68.

Retirement state pension of 600 a week for everyone who has worked and contributed to society from the age of 50 if they should choose to want that.

Cyclists must use cycle lanes or have 2 week data entry punishment reeducation learning, with the itinerants.

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 8:21am

Make cocaine easily available

Tzardine · 15-07-2020 8:26am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Make cocaine easily available

You mean even easier than now?

15-07-2020 8:27am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Make cocaine easily available

Doesn't require tyranny, just go to Clonmel

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 8:27am

Tzardine wrote:

You mean even easier than now?

No just easy in general

Irishphotodesk · 15-07-2020 8:35am

Ooooh .... where to start with the list.

No politicians allowed into politics, we have had generations of legacy families on the gravy train, if you have had a family member elected you cannot be involved in politics at any level for at least 10years.... this removes the nepotism, the cronyism and allows greater transparency in our political structure.

If politicians are found guilty of an offence while in office, they are stripped of any pensions, sacked from their position and not permitted to re-enter any public office for 20years.

Social welfare (which was originally created as a temporary measure) should be for a maximum of 2yrs, if you cannot get any sort of a job with 2 years, you do not deserve any state handouts - obvious exceptions apply.

If convicted of a crime you are automatically suspended from receiving social welfare - why should the state pay you money if you can’t follow the rules of the state.

The longer you remain conviction free the higher any state payments are (ie. Children’s allowance, state pension etc, so a person could happily retire if they lived a crime free life, parents would encourage kids to stay out of crime during the teenage years because of the amount they would be receiving in children’s allowance)

Legal professionals to be held accountable if their client reoffends and they have successfully gotten them bail - definitely no free legal aid paid if client reoffends.

Emotive argument to be removed from court hearings, No gender or personal details out before the judge... just cold hard facts, if there is ambiguity about a fact it’s up to the judge to decide, too many times I have heard that little Johnny is expecting a child and now wishes to mend his ways (despite having 3 other kids from 2 other mothers and 89previous convictions for similar offences)

Gardai, or any public servant ... if found guilty of an offence should be stripped of pensions, sacked from job and no access to public jobs/civil service for at least 10yrs.

Repeat criminals get longer time, and no legal aid.

Sex offenders are publicly identified following conviction, let the country know who they are and let them become an outcast, on that note ALL criminals should have their image available to the media on conviction (it should automatically be issued on conviction, and should be available for the public to view)

ALL public office projects should be properly costed and the minister / civil servants involved loose their jobs/pensions if a project goes over budget, contractors should also be punished if a project costing is incorrect.

Public transport network needs to be improved, better driver education and restrictions on road usage - every road user needs to qualify for road usage,

ie.
You cannot drive a car on the road without having experience of being a cyclist and motorcyclist, and at that you have to graduate up in vehicle power, 1l, 1.2l, 1.4l etc at least 6months or even 12 months at each level, I don’t care how rich you are .... everyone needs to understand how to act on the road and needs to understand how other road users will experience the road.

Going to have to leave it here for now.... battery is at 10% and it’s only 8.30ish in the morning

Feel free to click the thumbs up if you like the concept and I will start work on a full manifesto.

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 8:37am

Irishphotodesk wrote:

If convicted of a crime you are automatically suspended from receiving social welfare - why should the state pay you money if you canâ€™t follow the rules of the state.

They'd hardly commit more crimes, would they?

Duke of Url · 15-07-2020 8:40am

I would remove all grey areas in relation to the law and implement a zero tolerance policy state

Irishphotodesk · 15-07-2020 8:49am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

They'd hardly commit more crimes, would they?

They won’t qualify for free legal aid so if they were to commit more crimes, and if caught ...they have to defend themselves in court, higher chance of conviction and higher chance of longer jail time.

Also if they were to be crime free this is reflected in pension at retirement age.

(Plucking numbers out of my head, if a person were to be conviction free for their life pension could be 50k a year,
if a person were conviction free from their mid 20s onwards pension could be 30k a year)

Remember this also ties into children’s allowance payments, they increase as child gets older, but are cut if child is brought before the courts and as the parent responsible for the child any welfare/pension payments you would be entitled to would also be wiped.

So the longer you and offspring avoid criminal convictions the bigger the payday for retirement.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 15-07-2020 8:50am

No Prods allowed in political discourse and organisation.

I would arrange a system with the UK where they could be replanted back into their home environment.

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 8:51am

Irishphotodesk wrote:

So the longer you and offspring avoid criminal convictions the bigger the payday for retirement.

So they ll all of a sudden move away from crime? Which is cheaper for the tax payer, incarceration or the dole?

Irishphotodesk · 15-07-2020 8:53am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

They'd hardly commit more crimes, would they?

It’s an Irish answer to an Irish problem.... throw money at it in the hope it will stop.

I’m sure if it was financially possible to sustain for at least 2 generations it might work, but finding the money and willingness to ringfence money in this way is nigh on impossible.

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 8:54am

Irishphotodesk wrote:

Itâ€™s an Irish answer to an Irish problem.... throw money at it in the hope it will stop.

Throw money at it, we do no such thing, multiple of billions are required immediately to start tackling these issues, but shur that's never gonna happen

Irishphotodesk · 15-07-2020 9:00am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

So they ll all of a sudden move away from crime? Which is cheaper for the tax payer, incarceration or the dole?

In the long run, it’s possible but economically very improbable.

It could take multiple generations to get the system operational but if could in theory pay for itself.

The knock on effect of reduction in crime expands across all of society, from less pressure on health system to less need for policing (again just to emphasize this is a long term concept 30-40years maybe)

When we changed in 80s from a penal system of punishment to that of reform, has it changed much in terms of crime or has society changed .... these days we give criminals EVERY opportunity to change and reintegrate into society, and we still have recidivism, the system needs change .

Wanderer78 · 15-07-2020 9:04am

Irishphotodesk wrote:

When we changed in 80s from a penal system of punishment to that of reform, has it changed much in terms of crime or has society changed .... these days we give criminals EVERY opportunity to change and reintegrate into society, and we still have recidivism, the system needs change .

Ah we donâ€™t really, we say we do, but really we don't, giving them financial 'incentives' probably won't work either, their underlying issues still won't be dealt with, project personal responsibility is still failing, for example if they have a cluster b disorder such as antisocial, you may forget about it

15-07-2020 9:18am

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

No Prods allowed in political discourse and organisation.

I would arrange a system with the UK where they could be replanted back into their home environment.

What if we just give you heather Humphreys

JustAThought · 15-07-2020 9:21am

Wanderer78 wrote: »

So they ll all of a sudden move away from crime? Which is cheaper for the tax payer, incarceration or the dole?

enforced paid labour while entombed in a windowless bunker with a guy with an AK47 trained on it from a tower outside. Maybe the victims could take a few hours every now and then if they wanted - just in hope. extra bonus if you die a messy death. slung into a shared pit dug by other prisoners if you die while serving. Nice and easy - just like the old days.

randd1 · 15-07-2020 9:37am

- Remove Good Friday as a bank holiday/work day to avoid the confusion around it. It gets moved to the first Friday in July where it becomes a definite bank holiday, with the following Monday also made a bank holiday. During this period all shops can only open for a total of 7 hours in the day in the afternoon, with the exception of restaurants and pubs. All amenities run by or sponsored by the government are to be given free entry for the weekend. Basically, a four day national holiday.

- After your 5th appearance in court, legal aid comes with a cost of €1500, rising to €3000 per appearance after your 10th appearance.

- All petty crime starts off with a fine of €500, rising by €500 for every offence thereafter to a maximum €3500 per offence.

- Anyone found with a knife or other such implement in their possession in public (unless it can be proven), is to be charged with intent to kill, fined €5000 and ordered to adhere to a curfew between 8pm and 6am for two years.

- Redo the laws on height restrictions for buildings. Being historic should not prevent a dilapidated building from being torn down, and building 100 houses in the middle of a town where one 20 story building might do makes no sense.

- Create a two tier dole system. Bottom tier (the now way will I ever work crowd) gets a maximum of €100 a week. The second tier (people who actually want to work) are paid €230, but have to allow themselves to placed 2 days a week in community employment cleaning hospitals, schools) or something more practical if you have qualification (working on the roads, council housing, temp work) for the duration of your unemployment. The two days a week also go on your work record with a reference in future job applications.

- The government takes absolute control of property development.

- Legalize all drugs. They could only be sold in licenced premises. And only legal if they're produced in this country (obviously, raw materials can be sourced from abroad) to accepted standards, and have a proven effective treatment available in case of addiction.

Riddle101 · 15-07-2020 9:39am

1. Prison sentences to be extended depending on the seriousness of the crime. Actual lifetime imprisonment for serious crimes. Parole can be discussed once a prisoner has shown an actual effort to reform his ways.

2. Corporal punishment enabled for youth offenders. Other Punishments for young offenders in the prison system, like picking up rubbish, laying sandbags during floods and cleaning out toilets.

3. Trespassers attempting to burgle or steal can be shot at or harmed without repercussion.

4. Opening hours for nightclubs and pubs to be extended. They can stay open for as long as they want, even if it's 24/7.

4. Drugs to be legalized and regulated. Weed can be smoked freely but harder drugs like heroin must be taken within a permitted premises.

5. Gardai to be armed. Rules of conduct to be applied to prevent any form of abuse by Gardai that isn't permitted. Severe punishments for those who break the rules.

Randy Archer · 15-07-2020 10:01am

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.

Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.

If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.

Speeders will be crushed in their car.

If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.

NWCI and pavee point abolished.

Traveller ethnic status removed

Abolish inheritance tax.

Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.

Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.

Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.

Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.

Artificial sweeteners in drinks, foodstuffs, mouthwash, chewing gum to be banned. Possession, consumption or manufacturing or said will result in death by boiling in water.

Slot machines to be banned.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me :pac:

Going to be hard to impose death penalties and sterilisation (totally agree with you btw ) if you are so pro EU

Agree with most . Would add sterilisation to the peasant class who have 2 children within a short space of time

I’m not sure death penalty is a good idea, they die it’s quick. Prefer they get beaten within an inch of their lives that they will remember they failures for years , maybe even suffer for it

whisky_galore · 15-07-2020 10:30am

Depopulate Aran Islands and use as prison colony.

Duke of Url · 15-07-2020 10:38am

Duke of Url wrote: »

I would remove all grey areas in relation to the law and implement a zero tolerance policy state

Just to add to this I would also get the irish statute book re-written in Laymans Terms and replace Religion classes in schools with compulsory lessons of the law.

No excuses.:cool:

What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Comments