Funny/C*ap Nicknames you've come across

Schwanz · 06-02-2019 7:15pm #1

My mate's nickname was "Shanks" of the bathroom business.....

He fell when taking a wee and smashed his head off the jacks and left him scarred for life after many many beers.

What's your fav's..... & maybe obviously the ones that were that bit on the tripe side?

Frank Bullitt · 06-02-2019 7:16pm

Friend of mine works with a girl who has one hand that is smaller than the other.

They have christened her "The Clock".

Fine work.

06-02-2019 7:18pm

My old boss used to call me The House Elf.

I'm small.:(

I knew a guy who'd suffered terrible alopecia from when he was a young child, he'd lost every hair and eyelash and pube on his body. His nickname was Fuzzy.

Perifect · 06-02-2019 7:18pm

Gooch.

Buford T. Justice XIX · 06-02-2019 7:20pm

A guy I used work with was called Zero, could never find out why.

Anyway, his younger brother started work at the same company and, being a little bit slower than his brother, was immediately named Minus One.

Schwanz · 06-02-2019 7:21pm

Gintonious wrote: »

Friend of mine works with a girl who has one hand that is smaller than the other.

They have christened her "The Clock".

Fine work.

Perifect wrote: »

Gooch.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Wanderer78 · 06-02-2019 7:22pm

father and son, starvin & peckish

Yer Da sells Avon · 06-02-2019 7:23pm

https://rip.ie/death-notice/thomas-hitler-butler-thurles-tipperary/299593

Odhinn · 06-02-2019 7:29pm

Schwanz wrote: »

My mate's nickname was "Shanks" of the bathroom business.....

He fell when taking a wee and smashed his head off the jacks and left him scarred for life after many many beers.

What's your fav's..... & maybe obviously the ones that were that bit on the tripe side?

Wouldn't call it a "favourite" - first name of a lad I worked with was "majella". .

tayto lover · 06-02-2019 7:30pm

A lad who used to work with us was called Thrush.
He was an irritating c***.

Perifect · 06-02-2019 7:31pm

Tommy 2 gloves. Because he used to wear 2 gloves.

KevRossi · 06-02-2019 7:38pm

Professional footballer Fitz Hall:

He had a decent career with clubs including Crystal Palace, Wigan, QPR and Watford, but he’s undoubtedly remembered most because of his nickname.

The defender is known as One Size because, y’know, One Size Fitz Hall.

Pints? · 06-02-2019 7:42pm

Gintonious wrote: »

Friend of mine works with a girl who has one hand that is smaller than the other.

They have christened her "The Clock".

Fine work.

I could die a happy if I came up with that!

Purple Mountain · 06-02-2019 7:43pm

My dear grandmother christened me Maggie Thatcher as a pet name.
I was 4.

RollieFingers · 06-02-2019 7:44pm

The Lion King, for a chap who wasn't adverse to bending the truth.

jh79 · 06-02-2019 7:45pm

Man Bat for a guy called Wayan Bruce.

Muckka · 06-02-2019 7:45pm

Bert Raccoon

CalamariFritti · 06-02-2019 7:46pm

I know a guy who is called 'horse'. He also calls everyone else horse. How'ya horse. It's funny and he's a nice guy. Horse. lol

Buford T. Justice XIX · 06-02-2019 7:48pm

Football manager Neil Warnock is known as Colin, the letters remaining when you take the letters w, a, n, k, e and r from his name...

FrKurtFahrt · 06-02-2019 7:49pm

Pat 'Handball' Lally

Trigger Happy · 06-02-2019 7:50pm

A fella I know was found with some porn mags which earned him the moniker ‘Dirty books’.

He went on to become an accountant and the name is more apt than ever.

Larbre34 · 06-02-2019 7:52pm

CalamariFritti wrote: »

I know a guy who is called 'horse'. He also calls everyone else horse. How'ya horse. It's funny and he's a nice guy. Horse. lol

You'll have to be more specific, thats absolutely everyone outside Dublin.

alchemist33 · 06-02-2019 7:55pm

Perifect wrote: »

Gooch.

Some GAA player nicknames are absolutely cringe-inducing

DaithiMa · 06-02-2019 7:56pm

A friend of mine had a classmate who was nicknamed Flange. Also know of a plasterer nicknamed Lumpy.

Schwanz · 06-02-2019 7:57pm

Lad that was in our class was cruelly called Atom Bomb because he wasn't the best looking lad in the school

corner of hells · 06-02-2019 7:58pm

"Switch-drop" , he was an apprentice electrican , who was just tall enough to be used as a guide when we were fitting switch boxes to walls.

Also had another apprentice called "Coma" , survived a huge electric shock suffering bad burns and internal injuries spending 24hours in a coma.

The Rape of Lucretia · 06-02-2019 7:58pm

Keith Earls, the Munster and Ireland rugby player, is often known as Earlsie.

Yer Da sells Avon · 06-02-2019 7:59pm

There was a guy at school who had really bad acne - his nickname was 'Brunch' (after the HB ice cream). There was another chap who had really bad eczema - his nickname was 'Snake' because he was always shedding skin. There was also a kid with a facial twitch, who was known as 'Regi', named after the Celtic footballer Regi Blinker.

Purple Mountain · 06-02-2019 8:00pm

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

There was a guy at school who had really bad acne - his nickname was 'Brunch' (after the HB ice cream). There was another chap who had really bad eczema - his nickname was 'Snake' because he was always shedding skin. There was also a kid with a facial twitch, who was known as 'Regi', named after the Celtic footballer Regi Blinker.

You obviously went to a very nice school.

Schwanz · 06-02-2019 8:00pm

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

There was a guy at school who had really bad acne - his nickname was 'Brunch' (after the HB ice cream).

Ah Jesus kids can be real cruel can't they?

Schwanz · 06-02-2019 8:02pm

"Ate the gate"

His teeth was in bits.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 06-02-2019 8:03pm

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Keith Earls, the Munster and Ireland rugby player, is often known as Earlsie.

So original however neither funny witty strange or unusual.

raze_them_all_ · 06-02-2019 8:07pm

Chicken little. Part of a roof fell on him. He wasnt seriously hurt but yanno the sky is falling

BAM! uhavechlamydia · 06-02-2019 8:09pm

Guy I grew up with was adopted..never knew his exact birth date..so he used share his with his adoptive name...when he was about 12 his birth mother was found and his real b'day discovered.
Ever since we said he was actually an Apache..
"Chief Martin Two birthday's"

It was funny when we were 12 anyways!

Fr Tod Umptious · 06-02-2019 8:13pm

Once knew an Irish guy in America who's nickname was Biscuits.

But then he got his American citizenship and everyone started calling him Cookies.

Sonovagun · 06-02-2019 8:19pm

I know of a guy (Eamon) who was nicnamed "Badly"! He got it when he fingered the wrong hole late one night, the lucky lady was heard crying "Stop it, you're Eamon Badly!

Lorelli! · 06-02-2019 8:20pm

Worked with a guy everyone called Gimp. Not even The Gimp.

Reminds me, I use to babysit this kid when he was around 5/6 and he was telling me about his friend in school and his name was Igor. The little fella kept referring to him as The Igor. I remember trying to explain to him 'you can't call him that, drop the The! It's just Igor!'

Yer Da sells Avon · 06-02-2019 8:37pm

Purple Mountain wrote: »

You obviously went to a very nice school.

There was another guy called 'The Feeler' because someone once accidentally sat on his hand. There was a female teacher called 'Lurch' because she was very tall (and admittedly bore a slight resemblance to Lurch from the Addams Family). Secondary school was a very unforgiving place.

Lorelli! · 06-02-2019 8:49pm

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

Secondary school was a very unforgiving place.

There were loads of nicknames in my school and nearly every bloke on my road had a nickname that was a unique/exaggeration of them in some way/insult. I can't share them because most of them own the name now and some of them still go by them

Nodster · 06-02-2019 8:52pm

I knew of a lass who was known as Iris the Virus

Conelan · 06-02-2019 9:50pm

A girl in secondary school called Kay, was known as Potassium!

sligojoek · 06-02-2019 9:57pm

Pothole.. Everybody avoided him.

Gonad · 06-02-2019 10:04pm

The rugby player Billy Twelvetrees

Nickname : 36

Genius

major bill · 06-02-2019 10:05pm

Not so much funny but took me years to realize the nickname Teabag was associated with the surname Lyons

rgodard80a · 06-02-2019 10:07pm

One of my sisters knew a guy called "Hoover".

In his teen years, his brother and mother walked in on him attempting to pleasure himself with the vacuum cleaner. Never knew which brand, but always had a funny mental image of it being a "Henry" hoover.

The brother obviously wasn't going to keep that incident quiet and I'd say everyone within a 2km radius of his house knew about it.

Buford T. Justice XIX · 06-02-2019 10:08pm

FrKurtFahrt wrote: »

Pat 'Handball' Lally

D'oh, I only got this now:D

dreamers75 · 06-02-2019 10:11pm

internet joke......chilli because his dads name was Con Kearney

Pherekydes · 07-02-2019 2:48pm

Being in d'army for a few years, I came across a few funny ones.

Hitler, penis (his name was Pat Ennis), Susie (male), Patch (came back after a weekend with a plaster on his head), and many others, too numerous to mention.

I was called Skippy and the Wart Hog. :rolleyes:

El Weirdo · 07-02-2019 3:14pm

major bill wrote: »

Not so much funny but took me years to realize the nickname Teabag was associated with the surname Lyons

I know a guy called Teabag because he was shit at rolling joints.

s8n · 07-02-2019 3:15pm

some guy on here called Macker. Used to sign off all his posts with "later Macker"

fancy pigeon · 07-02-2019 3:25pm

I once bought parts for a car from a fellow in Westmeath called Pissy. Couldn't understand and still can't to this day figure out why he's called that!

Funny/C*ap Nicknames you've come across

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