Annoying work colleagues habits

Wayne Jarvis · 26-09-2019 3:38pm

odyssey06 wrote: »

Boiling the frog??? Dare I ask?

The phrase "Boiling the Frog" refers to an experiment in the 19th century. Scientists put a frog in boiling water and it jumped out immediately, they then put a frog in cold water and put the water to boil slowly, the frog stayed in the water because it didn't know it was being boiled, it couldn't feel it and got boiled to death.
What that has to do with working in modern offices I have no idea.

odyssey06 · 26-09-2019 3:40pm

Icaras wrote: »

In some places you have to "one up guy" (normally a guy), you've done something good they've done better, you've climbed a mountian they've climbed a bigger one twice - that sort of thing.
In my place we have a woman who's husband is the one up guy. Someone went to a football game, her husband went to a world cup game, someone ate some food, her husband ate 200 chicken nuggets (he's a 6ft, played rugby of course he can eat 200 chicken nuggets!). I dont know if any of it is true but it is really annoying.

AKA "The Topper", cos they have to 'top' whatever anyone else does.

odyssey06 · 26-09-2019 3:40pm

Guy Person wrote: »

The phrase "Boiling the Frog" refers to an experiment in the 19th century. Scientists put a frog in boiling water and it jumped out immediately, they then put a frog in cold water and put the water to boil slowly, the frog stayed in the water because it didn't know it was being boiled, it couldn't feel it and got boiled to death.
What that has to do with working in modern offices I have no idea.

Yeah I know the experiment part, but unless it refers to the aircon I'm stumped about modern office!

Cantona's Collars · 26-09-2019 3:43pm

One who thinks making as much noise as possible equates to doing work. Putting something on a desk? Nah,hold it 4 inches above it and drop it. Need to put something on the floor,why leave it down gently when you can do the same as the desk technique. Closing a door,why do it like everyone else when you can slam it.
The confrontational personality doesn't help when someone says something to them.
They'd be better suited to breaking rocks where they could make as much noise as they like.

Bigbagofcans · 26-09-2019 4:13pm

Cantona's Collars wrote: »

One who thinks making as much noise as possible equates to doing work. Putting something on a desk? Nah,hold it 4 inches above it and drop it. Need to put something on the floor,why leave it down gently when you can do the same as the desk technique. Closing a door,why do it like everyone else when you can slam it.
The confrontational personality doesn't help when someone says something to them.
They'd be better suited to breaking rocks where they could make as much noise as they like.

They're the same type who noisily scrape their bowl at the desk and slurp their tea.

The noise of flip flops slapping around the office. Luckily it's coming towards the end of flip flop season.

uch · 26-09-2019 4:22pm

I used to sit beside an Indian Lad who used to wear earphones and play Punjabi MC all day, it was so load the sound overspill was fierce annoying, lovely chap otherwise but there's only so much Indian dance music you can listen to all day every day

Whatsisname · 26-09-2019 4:38pm

My boss sits next to me and has the most infuriating habits. He constantly drums along to songs hitting the desk as loudly as possible, usually completely out of time with the song. This is then accompanied by him humming along in the highest voice he can possibly do. He also doesn't ever wear his shoes so I can receive the gift of the smell his feet for 8 hours a day. We often have meetings in our office, so one day we had a client due in, she comes in the door and he stands up, puts on his suit jacket and goes over to introduce himself. In his socks.

Wanderer2010 · 26-09-2019 4:39pm

I work opposite a lovely woman, mid 50s, she works 3 days a week, we work in the engineering sector, lots of documents. Bless her, she is absolutely useless at technology and even the most basic Windows functions eludes her. She sits down and narrates everything she does, she has a list of instructions on a Post IT taped to her computer. So she sits down and it starts "Ok, so ctr alt and delete for logging on, ok so open a Word Doc...ok so File Open, now what do I do now...", totally oblivious to the fact she is SPEAKING ALOUD.

When it first happened I thought she was taking the mick, but now I put in headphones and problem solved. Weird the people you meet in offices...

I see sheep · 26-09-2019 4:41pm

odyssey06 wrote: »

AKA "The Topper", cos they have to 'top' whatever anyone else does.

"You were in Tenerife? Elevenerife is waay better"

NeinNeinNein · 26-09-2019 4:44pm

Whatsisname wrote: »

My boss sits next to me and has the most infuriating habits. He constantly drums along to songs hitting the desk as loudly as possible, usually completely out of time with the song. This is then accompanied by him humming along in the highest voice he can possibly do. He also doesn't ever wear his shoes so I can receive the gift of the smell his feet for 8 hours a day. We often have meetings in our office, so one day we had a client due in, she comes in the door and he stands up, puts on his suit jacket and goes over to introduce himself. In his socks.

Do you work in Wernham Hogg?

Big Bad Wolf · 26-09-2019 4:53pm

bear1 wrote: »

Sit next to a guy who listens to reggae non stop as loud as possible.

Sounds great! Any vacancies...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 26-09-2019 5:04pm

Elemonator wrote: »

The one colleague who tries to micro manage everything.

I had a housemate like that once. Shudder. She was a pretty girl and when I first met her, I wondered why she was single. One week of living with her and I understood. I UNDERSTOOD.

Gregor Samsa · 26-09-2019 6:43pm

odyssey06 wrote: »

AKA "The Topper", cos they have to 'top' whatever anyone else does.

Yeah, I work with 300 guys like that.

Fann Linn · 26-09-2019 6:45pm

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I work opposite a lovely woman, mid 50s, she works 3 days a week, we work in the engineering sector, lots of documents. Bless her, she is absolutely useless at technology and even the most basic Windows functions eludes her. She sits down and narrates everything she does, she has a list of instructions on a Post IT taped to her computer. So she sits down and it starts "Ok, so ctr alt and delete for logging on, ok so open a Word Doc...ok so File Open, now what do I do now...", totally oblivious to the fact she is SPEAKING ALOUD.

When it first happened I thought she was taking the mick, but now I put in headphones and problem solved. Weird the people you meet in offices...

Just a typical woman with technology. Give her a break!

Strumms · 26-09-2019 6:47pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

The loud phone talker (LPT).

Every open plan office I've worked in seems to have one.

I'm not sure if the current LPT is deaf or just doesn't trust the technology. Today's conversation with a colleague in the Cork office hardly necessitated use of a phone as I'm sure he could have been heard down there.

One my last job when this looper wanted the office to know the details she’d enter into a loud exaggerated whisper, complete with hand over the phone and mouth and slow down her speech... she was communicating more dramatically and loudly...

“Yes ...we ...can ...book ...the ...holiday ...tonight

Louder then her usual speaking volume yet the hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and her own gob.. weird...

AlphabetCards · 26-09-2019 6:57pm

castletownman wrote: »

Co-worker points out the most obvious of things.

Me coming up with the post in the afternoon: "Oh the post arrived"

Hanging a poster on the wall: "Oh your hanging up a poster"

Doing my cleaning rota: "Cleaning your section, I see"

Printing out a document: "Printing out a document?"

Christ.

I literally cannot help it. I do this. I can't stop it.

baldbear · 26-09-2019 7:10pm

I work with a fella who pants his hands down his pants itches his hole & smells his fingers.

I wish I was making it up.

Gregor Samsa · 26-09-2019 7:11pm

We’ve a HR girl who runs everywhere in the office - in heels. She can’t just walk to the canteen or reception or the toilet. She runs as fast as she can in her little high heel shoes. Not annoying, just strange.

We also have total freak show you could write a book on. He is quite possibly the worst person in the world. I can’t say too much, because he’d be easily identified. I stay away from him mostly, but sometimes you run into him in the toilets. He’s like a fücking tornado, you can hear him from out in the office floor. He goes into the cubicle, BAM! Slams the door. Bashes the lock closed. Kicks up the toilet lid. Farts and squirts like his guts have been liquified from Ebola. Runs of a mile of loo roll. Punches the toilet into flushing. Kicks the door back open then never washes his hands.

Years ago he broke his wrist, and had a cast on it. I was in the canteen one day making tea. He barges in front of me and puts his giant sausage fingers into the teabag box. They were literally black, like he’s been mining coal with his bare hands. I said to him “What the fück? Your hands are filthy! You can’t be touching stuff in the kitchen!”. He tells me that the doctor told him not to get his cast wet, so he hadn’t showered or washed in 3 weeks. His elbows had literally turned green.

He’s been up with HR loads of times about his smell, his ear-splitting sneezing and his bizarrely inappropriate comments. One time a previous HR girl was pregnant. Instead of asking her when she was due, he asked her when her last period was - I assume he was going to do the calculation himself. For some reason he’s been kept in in the company for over a decade, and it’s not like his job requires any special skill at all. I think they feel sorry for him, because he’s never be employed anywhere else.

Gorteen · 26-09-2019 7:11pm

Flagrant abuse of (public service) sick leave

Bigbagofcans · 26-09-2019 7:31pm

Gregor Samsa, thanks for the laughs

Sounds like yer man shouldn't be let out in public and should just work from home. Alone. Sitting in his own stench.

Gregor Samsa · 26-09-2019 7:56pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Gregor Samsa, thanks for the laughs

Sounds like yer man shouldn't be let out in public and should just work from home. Alone. Sitting in his own stench.

He actually has a somewhat public profile. Not famous, but involved in some endeavours that would mean that a fair few people around the country would know him. Which is why I don’t want to say too much. How these people put up with him is a mystery to us.

And he has taken to working from home a bit lately, much to everyone’s delight.

One time two new girls started in the office the same day. Shy and nervous on their first day, he cornered them in the canteen. His first question to women is usually “are you married?”. If they say yes, he doesn’t talk to them any more ever. If they say no, then he starts with his patented brand of man-magic. Which in this case, consisted of asking the first girl “do you want children?”. When she recoiled in horror, he moved to the other girl “How about you? I’d like to have children, and am looking for someone to have them with.” They went straight to their boss about it, and he was hauled in to explain himself, but no action was taken. Like I say, I don’t know why he hadn’t been fired. There’s been plenty of rounds of redundancy in the company - they could have got rid of him at any time.

I wish I could describe his physical appearance, because it adds a whole extra dimension to these stories. But again, it’s quite distinctive, so there’s a chance he’d be recognised. He’s not Irish, and hasn’t managed to reproduce yet despite his best efforts, so I think our gene pool is safe from him.

razorblunt · 26-09-2019 8:33pm

“Good afternoon” as you walk in at 9:05.

Bigbagofcans · 26-09-2019 8:43pm

razorblunt wrote: »

“Good afternoon” as you walk in at 9:05.

Or "half day is it?" if you leave before 5.

Aglomerado · 26-09-2019 8:43pm

razorblunt wrote: »

“Good afternoon” as you walk in at 9:05.

Or 'half day is it?' when you leave at 4.

Road-Hog · 26-09-2019 9:04pm

Guy Person wrote: »

The phrase "Boiling the Frog" refers to an experiment in the 19th century. Scientists put a frog in boiling water and it jumped out immediately, they then put a frog in cold water and put the water to boil slowly, the frog stayed in the water because it didn't know it was being boiled, it couldn't feel it and got boiled to death.
What that has to do with working in modern offices I have no idea.

It is analogous to being slyly/sneakily coerced into doing something by your line manager into work practice changes etc

HorrorScope · 26-09-2019 9:10pm

We have a girl from somewhere in the wastelands of Kerry that eats prawns for breakfast, snacks and lunch. Literally nothing but prawns (lunch might be a fancy lettuce/sauce combo but the rest is dry....and microwaved

).

Strumms · 26-09-2019 9:16pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Gregor Samsa, thanks for the laughs

Sounds like yer man shouldn't be let out in public and should just work from home. Alone. Sitting in his own stench.

Feel sorry for him sure, but I’d feel more sorry for his colleagues. Places like that you’d probably have a manager firing off emails to you for turning up 5 minutes late for work. But literally they are happy in enabling a human bacteria to be wandering around the workplace sticking their manky hands in tea that others have to consume and whatever else. If you can’t wash your fûckin self, stay at home.

ArnoldJRimmer · 26-09-2019 10:23pm

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

Snorting all day, what is the objection to blowing your nose, if you have a cold, blow your nose, its very simple. Its the most disgusting nausea inducing sound. ALL ****ING DAY

This is one things that makes me irrationally angry. I get it that sometimes people don't have a tissue handy, or can't excuse themselves to do it as they're on a call (I don't mind if they blow their nose in front of me if its stops the sniffing, but some see this as bad manners). Which brings me to yesterday morning when I was taking a peaceful dump. There are 6 stalls in total, and I had the room to myself. Then some lad decides to go into the cubicle next to me, (why when there are 4 others further away?) and sniff and snort when there are 3 full bog rolls sitting right beside him.

NeinNeinNein · 27-09-2019 10:24am

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

This is one things that makes me irrationally angry. I get it that sometimes people don't have a tissue handy, or can't excuse themselves to do it as they're on a call (I don't mind if they blow their nose in front of me if its stops the sniffing, but some see this as bad manners). Which brings me to yesterday morning when I was taking a peaceful dump. There are 6 stalls in total, and I had the room to myself. Then some lad decides to go into the cubicle next to me, (why when there are 4 others further away?) and sniff and snort when there are 3 full bog rolls sitting right beside him.

Might have been his attempt at a mating call.

Aglomerado · 27-09-2019 10:46am

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Or "half day is it?" if you leave before 5.

Ah! You beat me to it!

:D:D:D

Annoying work colleagues habits

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