One year relationship - conversation difficulties

Tried posting anonymously but even after turning off everything that I thought could act as a VPN it still mislocated my IP address.

I'm not sure what advice I'm actually looking for. I've been dating this man for about a year. I'll start by saying he's lovely. He's kind, interesting, funny, patient. A genuine good guy with a tendency to get stressed out/anxious sometimes. Due to work commitments/distance we don't see each other that often (once/twice a week at most normally.) We do communicate every day. I tend to prefer text and he prefers talking over the phone.

This is where I've begun to have more of a problem. Every conversation it's the same. We'll barely say hello and he'll be off talking in detail about his day or whatever he's done since I last saw him. I'll listen, make comments, ask questions. Then he'll ask me something, like how was my day, I'll reply and his response will universally be to bring it immediately back to himself. He might sometimes ask a second question later in the conversation but his response to my response will always be about him.

I decided part of the problem was that I wasn't being proactive enough in directing the conversation, so recently I've tried to change that. I tried to have a conversation about an interesting activity I'd done. It wasn't a topic he'd have been that familiar with but it was something I was really into and keen to discuss for five or ten minutes. I was hoping he'd make a comment or ask a few questions. Instead, each time I tried to talk about it, he started talking about something vaguely related that he himself had done but that effectively changed the topic. Three times I tried to bring the topic back around and three times he started talking about something unrelated but as a response to what I was saying.

To give you an idea what I mean, say I'd gone to a baking class. He might first respond by talking about how he used to cook in college. I'd acknowledge that and return to what I'd been talking about, he'd then respond by talking about how he had been thinking about having people over and cooking Indian food. I'd bring it back around again and he'd respond with something even less relevant.

Conversations in person are definitely better but there is still that strong tendency with him to bring a topic immediately back to himself. I've watched him in conversation with other people too. Sometimes it's fine and sometimes, where a response to a story or anecdote would be appropriate, he instead interjects immediately with an experience of his own.

If something stressful happens, he'll be really keen to talk to me about it but I'm starting to feel as though I'm being talked at rather than to. He might talk solidly for ten or fifteen minutes, barely requiring a reply. I get that when people are stressed they sometimes need that but a lot of the time he'll just be retelling his days activities. He'll also forget things he's told me before. I know we all do this to a certain extent but it sometimes seems excessive. For example, let's say I'd started swimming lessons. Each time I mentioned swimming, he'd say "oh, I used to swim in secondary. I have to start swimming again, I used to be very good at it." And he'll say it every single time swimming is mentioned. Over weeks and months. Bear in mind we're both in our thirties so secondary school was a long time ago.

I don't mind mundane conversation, I just feel a lot of the time it isn't a proper conversation. I also don't feel I'm achieving the same ability to confide in him about life or work stuff. And, given we work in very different areas, I suspect his response would be like the above, to redirect, and I wouldn't get the satisfaction of feeling like I'd talked something out.

I don't have a lot of relationship experience, so I guess what I'm trying to work out is if this is normal enough and I'm reading too much into it or if it's something I can put up with/work around (by ignoring it/taking a more proactive approach in conversation). Or does it suggest a fundamental incompatibility? I've always been better at listening than talking but even for me the balance in our conversation is off.