Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

Bluefoam · 06-10-2015 01:57PM

When I was a young'fella, I worked for a few months with a racehorse trainer. On my first week I was sent to another yard to get a tin of elbow greese. I eagerly complied, but really I just knocked about for 30 mins to teach them a lesson... They thought they were hilarious until they found out the truth.

I also did a stint on the night pack in Dunnes... asked a friend of mine at the fish counter for a leg of salmon. It genuinely took about 5 minutes for him to figure it out.

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

Captain Flaps · 06-10-2015 02:01PM

Bluefoam wrote: »

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

When I was in my early teens I was put in charge of a group of younger kids and had to give them tasks to accomplish. Sent one of them up to a very severe looking lady to enquire about a set of fallopian tubes.

Axel Lamp · 06-10-2015 02:19PM

Bluefoam wrote: »

The usual ones were sky hooks, skirting ladders etc...

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

Duly toddled off home for an hour and had a nice rest, before heading back to work.

Thankfully the brother had told me to watch out for that trick.

ivytwine · 06-10-2015 06:36PM

Sheep Lover wrote: »

This thread is basically a "Nerds making fun of non Nerds" thread.

Isn't everything on this site?!

Badly Drunk Boy · 06-10-2015 06:45PM

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

I'd absolutely LOVE a keg of Babycham! I wonder if it's available on eBay...

kylith · 06-10-2015 06:59PM

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Worked in a pub in my teens and was sent to a pub on the other side of town to collect a keg of babycham on my first night

Duly toddled off home for an hour and had a nice rest, before heading back to work.

Thankfully the brother had told me to watch out for that trick.

In a supermarket I worked in once a new lad was sent out for a fallopian tube and went around to half a dozen local premises looking for one before coming back somewhat annoyed and attempting to assault the wag who'd sent him out with a box cutter. He was, em, invited to leave soon after.

Robsweezie · 06-10-2015 08:04PM

A miley cyrus lookalike ordered me to twerk in my underwear alongside them. Insanely pointy nipples.

FlipperThePriest · 06-10-2015 08:36PM

I worked in a music shop years ago selling instruments and equipment. A poor old nun sauntered in one day; microphone in one hand, microphone cable in the other, asking me to wire a plug to the end of the cable for some function they were organising in the convent. I asked her what kind of plug?!

She wanted a 3 pin plug wired to it, under the impression that she could just plug the microphone directly into a mains outlet and somehow magically amplify sound through thin air without the need for any speakers, desk or any PA/amplification paraphernalia... just the microphone plugged directly into a wall socket... oblivious to the dangers involved in what she was asking and rather irate that I couldn't help her out.

evo2000 · 06-10-2015 11:15PM

Captain Flaps wrote: »

It hasn't actually been the 'Start' button since XP. I completely understand somebody not understanding what you meant.

Really? Almost everyone knows what the start button is ud genuinely have to be really thick to not get what he meant or be really really old.

SillyBeans · 06-10-2015 11:20PM

Not everyone is familiar with computers though, doesn't make them thick. There's a serious air of computer snobbery off some of these posts (not aimed at you evo2000). There's a difference between stupidity and just not knowing something.

evo2000 · 06-10-2015 11:32PM

SillyBeans wrote: »

Not everyone is familiar with computers though, doesn't make them thick. There's a serious air of computer snobbery off some of these posts (not aimed at you evo2000). There's a difference between stupidity and just not knowing something.

Maybe thick was a bad choice of word but you get what i mean, the vast majority of people would know what you meant or atleast have a rough idea,

SillyBeans · 06-10-2015 11:35PM

evo2000 wrote: »

Maybe thick was a bad choice of word but you get what i mean, the vast majority of people would know what you meant or atleast have a rough idea,

Ah yeah, I know what you mean, but there's very much a vibe of superiority from people who are tech savvy. I'm sure a lot of these people would be baffled if someone asked them to pass the wrench or something. They might be prime candidates for being sent to get rubber nails and a glass hammer! :pac:

alcea · 07-10-2015 12:13AM

SillyBeans wrote: »

Ah yeah, I know what you mean, but there's very much a vibe of superiority from people who are tech savvy. I'm sure a lot of these people would be baffled if someone asked them to pass the wrench or something. They might be prime candidates for being sent to get rubber nails and a glass hammer! :pac:

Or a long stand and a can of striped paint.

Adyx · 07-10-2015 01:06AM

alcea wrote: »

Or a long stand and a can of striped paint.

Popular bar/nightclub ones are keys to the dancefloor and telling someone to polish the ice. One of the waitresses where I work was informed of the specials when she started her shift one day, including a roast leg of salmon. I think she had told two tables before someone questioned it.

alcea · 07-10-2015 01:10AM

Adyx wrote: »

Popular bar/nightclub ones are keys to the dancefloor and telling someone to polish the ice. One of the waitresses where I work was informed of the specials when she started her shift one day, including a roast leg of salmon. I think she had told two tables before someone questioned it.

I remember a guy being very busy at the ice machine. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was stock taking the ice cubes.

alcea · 07-10-2015 01:40AM

I have to admit being caught.

It was 1988 and I was working in accounts and the IT department was in front of my desk, I typed in my password

1st time : invalid password
(I must have miss typed)

2nd time : invalid password
(need to type slower)

3rd time : invalid password
(need to type even slower)

4th time: invalid password
(head scratching and getting angry at the keyboard!!!!)

5th time: invalid password
(typing with one finger on each hand)

Message appears "Would you ever f"ck off, can't you see I'm busy"

IT guys laughing their heads off in the corner.

KT10 · 07-10-2015 04:19PM

SillyBeans wrote: »

Ah yeah, I know what you mean, but there's very much a vibe of superiority from people who are tech savvy. I'm sure a lot of these people would be baffled if someone asked them to pass the wrench or something.

There's a difference in being tech savvy and knowing the basics, same with a lot of things in life, for example, I have a motorbike, I'm no mechanic, but I can do the basics myself, e.g. tighten chain, change spark plugs etc.

And the old excuse of "sure I never used these when I was young and I'm not learning now!" doesn't cut it with me, plenty of life skills are learnt as you go on, computers are no different.

Also, I think the reason there are so many IT stories in this thread is the fact almost everyone uses a computer now in some way so there's more instances of stupidity, that and tech guys would be more likely to be on Boards (I realise that a broad statement and not completely accurate).

Other "non-techie" people are probably on Facebook re-posting pictures of sick children so that child will get 1,000,000 likes and Jesus will save them. :rolleyes:

New Home · 07-10-2015 04:24PM

KT10 wrote: »

And the old excuse of "sure I never used these when I was young and I'm not learning now!" doesn't cut it with me, plenty of life skills are learnt as you go on, computers are no different.

Yes.

KT10 wrote: »

Other "non-techie" people are probably on Facebook re-posting pictures of sick children so that child will get 1,000,000 likes and Jesus will save them. :rolleyes:

No.

bottlebrush · 07-10-2015 10:01PM

alcea wrote: »

Or a long stand and a can of striped paint.

Or a bubble for a spirit level

New Home · 07-10-2015 10:17PM

bottlebrush wrote: »

Or a bubble for a spirit level

Serious question - is there such a thing as a replacement 'glass bubble part' for spirit levels?

Obviously, not the actual air bubble itself, even I know that.

As for stupid requests, one time, when I was working for the summer in a restaurant, the 'chef' decided to send me to the chap in charge of the pantry to get a box of salt for fish. They both laughed at me until I pointed out that there was such a thing as a salt and herbs mix that was better suited to be used on fish, and a different mix which would suit meat, at which point they shut up. Another time I was also sent to get some elbow grease, and I told the chef I found it but I couldn't open the jar...

He stopped messing with me after that.

Sleepy · 07-10-2015 11:22PM

This one happened about 13 years ago, I was a wet week out of college working in the support department for an ERP system. I picked up a ticket logged from the Director of Finance of one of our clients about an error entering a transaction so called him back to try and diagnose the problem, the conversation went a bit like this:

Me: so can you talk me through what's happening?

Him: I've entered the transaction line to debit account xyz

Me: Ok, so can you enter the credit line now?

Him: I just want to enter the debit, I don't want to enter a credit.

Me: (as my head hits the desk) eh... I'm afraid the software won't allow that.

Him: Why not?

Me: Eh...

Now, for those that have never studied accounting, the first and most fundamental principle of double-entry accounting is that every debit must have a corresponding credit. It's literally page one of first year Junior Cert Business Studies accounting and I was having to explain it to a man whose salary would have been my own with a 0 added to the end. It was a life lesson in how having the right uncle can be far more important than having a triple digit IQ.

rainbowdrop · 08-10-2015 08:12PM

alcea wrote: »

I remember a guy being very busy at the ice machine. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was stock taking the ice cubes.

You just reminded me of the time years ago, working in my first proper job in a factory, and they were doing a stock take.

There were big plastic boxes full of small parts (literally thousands of screws, nuts and bolts etc in each box), and I was told to count them. Well, I spent about 3hrs in the storeroom counting them out by hand, and tallying them up with a pen and paper. I kept losing count and having to start again.

Eventually, the boss came to see what was taking me so long, and started laughing his head off when he saw what I was at. When he calmed down, he told me about the 'weighing machine', and showed me how I should have been weighing 1 screw, then throwing the whole box into the plastic box on top of the machine and it would calculate how many screws were in it....

Wish he showed me how to do that 3hrs earlier..... Wouldn't mind, but he told the whole place so I got mocked by everyone for weeks afterwardsðŸ˜„

Frynge · 08-10-2015 08:22PM

Reminds me of someone who worked for us doin kp. During the monthly stocktake he was asked to start on the fruit and veg fridge. Now in fairness it was never explained to him but the idea was to count the containers. After spending nearly an hour inside the fridge he came out and asked the head chef was he ment to put the carrots in the prepared veg back together.

It was actually the only real lapse in intelligence he ever had because the chef made sure that he knew what he was doing any time after that.

starling · 08-10-2015 09:14PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

You just reminded me of the time years ago, working in my first proper job in a factory, and they were doing a stock take.

There were big plastic boxes full of small parts (literally thousands of screws, nuts and bolts etc in each box), and I was told to count them. Well, I spent about 3hrs in the storeroom counting them out by hand, and tallying them up with a pen and paper. I kept losing count and having to start again.

Eventually, the boss came to see what was taking me so long, and started laughing his head off when he saw what I was at. When he calmed down, he told me about the 'weighing machine', and showed me how I should have been weighing 1 screw, then throwing the whole box into the plastic box on top of the machine and it would calculate how many screws were in it....

Wish he showed me how to do that 3hrs earlier..... Wouldn't mind, but he told the whole place so I got mocked by everyone for weeks afterwardsðŸ˜„

My brother once worked in a place that served fast food as a sideline, and they had a stocktake and his supervisor told him they had to count the little packets of salt, ketchup etc...so my brother weighed 10 salt packets, then weighed the whole box. The supervisor got really nervous and said "No, we're supposed to count them individually, you can't do that.....!"

3 months later my brother was the supervisor.

Claregirl · 08-10-2015 10:47PM

Capture.JPG

Can you tell me the password for this i've tried putting in my login password and it won't accept it:D

monkeysnapper · 09-10-2015 12:02AM

I once worked in a shop and the manager on duty gave me a box of green bananas and told me to take them to the area manager that was in store this day and show him . He was disgusted !!!!

I politely told him I wouldn't be doing this as everybody doing donkey impressions of me for next 2 years would be to degrading .

I did him a huge favour really.

mud · 09-10-2015 12:55AM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once worked in a shop and the manager on duty gave me a box of green bananas and told me to take them to the area manager that was in store this day and show him . He was disgusted !!!!

I politely told him I wouldn't be doing this as everybody doing donkey impressions of me for next 2 years would be to degrading .

I did him a huge favour really.

Wut?

jamesbere · 09-10-2015 01:09AM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once worked in a shop and the manager on duty gave me a box of green bananas and told me to take them to the area manager that was in store this day and show him . He was disgusted !!!!

I politely told him I wouldn't be doing this as everybody doing donkey impressions of me for next 2 years would be to degrading .

I did him a huge favour really.

I'm totally lost here

alcea · 09-10-2015 01:21AM

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once worked in a shop and the manager on duty gave me a box of green bananas and told me to take them to the area manager that was in store this day and show him . He was disgusted !!!!

I politely told him I wouldn't be doing this as everybody doing donkey impressions of me for next 2 years would be to degrading .

I did him a huge favour really.

Alright so the bananas were green but did you check the bananas for mould?

paleoperson · 09-10-2015 03:04PM

jamesbere wrote: »

I'm totally lost here

Best I can make out is that the poster was told to bring a box of bananas a long distance and getting strange looks/remarks from his/her colleagues on the way and so quit their job as soon as they got there.

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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