my first step

happyholly · 2015-09-02 21:47:39

hi this is my first attempt at writing, advice welcomed she moves at the speed of light one day shes gonna get alright when that day comes I'm getting outta here whats the difference between love and fear. be ready, her time will come wont be much left when shes done get to start it all over again I cant wait for now to be…

02-09-2015 09:47PM

#1

happyholly

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17 ✭

Join Date: September 2011

Posts: 11

hi this is my first attempt at writing, advice welcomed

she moves at the speed of light
one day shes gonna get alright
when that day comes I'm getting outta here
whats the difference between love and fear.

be ready, her time will come
wont be much left when shes done
get to start it all over again
I cant wait for now to be then.

i wasn't born, ready for this
all starts off from a single kiss
then kiss goodbye, and its all over
I think I know now, what really drove her.

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Comments

#2 05-09-2015 11:54PM

heathledgerlove

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 114 ✭✭

Join Date: September 2009

Posts: 112

Reads like song lyrics. Nice rhythm! Looks like 3 stanzas / verses
It's about the breakdown of a relationship, is it? I like how both the people - the speaker, and the lover? (she) both are dynamic characters in the snapshot.

I think it has great energy, reminds me of a car driving for some reason, racing away.

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