Now Ye're Talking to - an Orthodox Jewish Irish woman

Clearlier wrote: »

I'm wondering how long it took from your encounter with the primary school teacher to deciding that you wanted to convert? Had you any doubts about your decision? Do you still have doubts from time to time? If not, is that how you are generally in life or is it somewhat uncharacteristic?

I encountered the primary school teacher at 9 years old, but it was only at the age of 17 that I started to become more active in my search for some kind of truth and started questioning where I saw my life going and what was the purpose of life at all. It was a very gradual process- I think that even when I started attending the synagogue in Ireland, I had no idea that this journey would bring me to where I am today. It was a process of constant growth, discovery and reassessing where I was and where I wanted to be.

Re. doubts since the decision- that's a really great question! Honestly, there were quite a few low points where I did consider throwing in the towel and returning to life in Ireland. I grew up in an upper-middle class family and, in retrospect, was much more spoiled than I realised. Life in Israel is far from easy. Economically, most people just about get by. I had to really re-adjust my expectations from a material perspective. I also encountered a fair few crazies along the way, but thankfully was firm enough in my own beliefs not to feel pressured or swayed by them. I think that it's very important for anyone in my position to feel confident in who they are and what they're doing- otherwise they're liable to be taken advantage of those with their own agenda.

Clearlier wrote: »

I'm also wondering where the deep connection and sense of belonging with Israel came from? Had you visited many time before you moved?

Last question and I'll understand if you don't want to answer because it does head in the direction of political questions. I see judaism as a religion and Israel as a country but it doesn't sound that you would be hugely comfortable making that distinction?

I first visited Israel in my late teens and had 2 extended visits before moving here the 3rd time. It's hard to describe, but the first time I came to Jerusalem there was something so magical about the place that I finally felt a sense of belonging. Gradually the 'starry eyed' view faded, but I still feel a strong sense of belonging in this country and a kind of shared purpose. I think it's hard for any Jewish person to distance themselves from Israel- it's mentioned non-stop in daily prayers (we pray for Jerusalem alone 3 times a day) and everything from the Tanach to the greatest Rabbis are tied to the land of Israel.

ballsymchugh wrote: »

according to the podcast from the moncreiff show that i posted above where one guy was shunned from his community for embracing some 'modern' lifestyles, hasidism itself isn't that old, maybe 2 or 3 hundred years.

OP, did you not consider one of the stricter versions of protestantism, such as the free presbyterian or amish? it seems you needed stricter guidance. what was is specifically about hasidism that won you over? did you never embrace Jesus as the Messiah while you were being raised as a Christian, or was it difficult to renounce that?

Certain communities (even within Hasidism) have certain social norms which accompany them. Some decide not to watch TV, others take it upon themselves to dress a certain way etc. People belonging to these communities generally want this conformity to continue, as they consider it an important bond between its members. While I don't personally agree with shunning any Jew, I do appreciate why a community would be careful to preserve its unique character and feel threatened by someone who's trying to change things up.

My general issue with Christianity in all its forms is that they believe that the J man is a prophet. After studying what the messiah and redemption should involve and look like, I really don't see how it's logical that he was the messiah.

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

I think it's amazing that in a few short years you've learnt a new language, religion (to such a knowledgable level), and culture, well done. You seem to have both the intelligence and intellect to go far in your new life.

Is there anything a 'convert' like yourself cannot do that only someone born Jewish can?

Many thanks Gloomtastic. I owe a whole lot to my community here in Israel- people have been incredibly supportive. One family even took it upon themselves to 'adopt' me and host me for dinners any shabbat I wish to come- they really invested in me and even walked me up the isle. I don't think I'd be where I am today without them.

The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is that a convert cannot technically become a high ranking person of authority (ie in a Jewish high court or something) although since Israel is a secular country this isn't really relevant anymore. It's not because they're seen as inept, but Judaism just wants to avoid any chance of a person saying "oh, he only converted to get ahead in the world and advance his position!"

January wrote: »

The forum is called Ask Me Anything - not 'Demand I Answer You'. If you feel her answers were unsatisfactory well then that's your tough luck, she doesn't have to defend herself to you or anyone else if she doesn't want to.

Amen!!!
I couldn't agree more. I came here to give people an insight into a world that generally Irish people don't encounter. I'm not here to convert other people and I'm certainly not here to justify my beliefs.

SillyMangoX wrote: »

More so than just the kosher side of things, what is Jewish cuisine like compared to your typical Irish meat and two veg type dinners - if it differs at all? Just on TV you'd see depictions of Jewish characters making things like matzo ball soup or stuffed fish (can't remember the proper name for it!).

Ahh this really depends on one's origins- for example, the dishes you described are Ashkenazi (Eastern European) whereas Mizrachi Jews (from Arabic countries) have much spicier dishes with rice, spices and generally lots of oil and meat. Because both are so mixed now, everyone basically eats everything, based on the laws of not eating milk and meat in the same dish. On shabbat, there are 3 meals - Friday night (after coming home from the synagogue), Saturday afternoon (after coming home from the synagogue again) and a small meal on Saturday night shortly before shabbat ends (ie sunset). A typical meal could be:
First:
- we say kiddish over (usually red) wine and all drink from the cup
- then we ritually wash our hands and say a blessing over 2 challot (braided loaves of bread)
- I serve dips/things to put on the bread such as humus, tehina, avocado, matbucha, pesto, amba and eggplant
- a live salad is usually served too, which is the typical Israeli salad (small cubed tomatoes, cucumbers, and often lettuce, onion and other additions)
Second:
- if it's Friday night I'll serve soup, usually chicken or vegetables. If it's the second meal (Saturday afternoon) there is no soup because of the laws of shabbat not allowing me to place a liquid on the hot plate during shabbat (but it's allowed to place it before).
Third:
- after this we have fish, usually salmon, bass and a few other types that I don't know the English for
Fourth:
- we then change the plates and cutlery (meat and fish can't be eaten on the same plate for kashrut reasons) and I serve a meat dish with some kind of carbohydrate. This could be chulent (like a beef stew), roasted chicken, kugel, rice, roasted potatoes, beans, lentils, beef, or many other options
Fifth:
We then have a desert, which cannot be dairy because one needs to wait 6 hours after eating meat to eat something dairy. There are some substitutes used to make ice-cream etc. I usually serve chocolate cake or chocolate mouse and herbal tea.

Needless to say, shabbat is awesome

WoolyJumper wrote: »

Funnily enough of the three Abrahamic religions, probably the easiest to understand and follow was Islam, though I disagree with so much of its "morality" and by the time I got around to really studying it and reading the Qur'an I had already given up on the idea that that kind of monotheistic God existed.

Anyway, though not for me, sounds like you had an interesting and fulfilling journey. All the best with your pregnancy and for future

Many thanks WoolyJumper! Islam is actually highly regarded by Jews because of its strict stance on monotheism. For example, a Jew can pray in a mosque but he can't even enter a Church.

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Considering you spend so much time studying and working, what do you do to relax? Any hobbies? Do you watch/have access to films and TV shows? Are there any restrictions on what sort of entertainment you are allowed watch?

Also, what's your favourite Nicolas Cage movie?

Wow, good one! Relaxing time is currently spent sleeping :P I don't get much free time. I wake up at 5am to get to work on time, return at 1pm, currently answer you lovely folks but usually answer emails and whatnot, then there are things like shopping for food, cleaning, laundry etc to take care of. Evenings are either spent in ulpan learning Hebrew or going to classes on Judaism (or both). On shabbat, when we're forced to 'plug out' I like to read books (mostly about Judaism, although not exclusively. That said, chick lit stuff is off the table. Often historical books, which I enjoy.) I love to draw, and have paintings around our apartment. We don't have a TV in our house, but sometimes I watch movies on youtube, although my husband generally doesn't watch movies. We travel a lot around Israel when we've the chance- camping in the Golan Heights or the Negev Desert, heading to the Old City in Jerusalem or going for walks along the beach in the late evening or night. We don't go to the beach during the day because a) it's very hot b) people are rather naked there.

BTW I love Nicolas Cage and am torn between choosing Face/Off and Con Air :P

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

how does you reconcile your belief re kosher food with the way animals are killed, ie in an extremely cruel way that draws out suffering for far longer than necessary?

The Jewish method of slaughter, shechita, is designed to be as humane as possible. Judaism forbids causing animals to suffer and has encoded laws to ensure that animals' welfare is protected under 'tza'ar ba'alei chayim'. Causing any unnecessary cruelty to animals is strictly forbidden (in contrast to western cultures which only outlawed animal cruelty in the 1800s). However, Judaism also recognises that human need trumps that of animals. The blade of the knife used is checked non-stop to ensure it's as sharp as possible and the main vein in the neck is sliced to stop blood flow to the brain and render the animal unconscious almost immediately.

Judaism actually sees vegetarianism as being the most 'perfected state', as the first humans, Adam and Eve, were vegetarians. The need to eat meat is seen as originating from humans' weakness and thirst for blood. It is believed that when the Messiah comes, we'll all become vegetarians again because we'll no longer have this evil inclination.

dottie_lottie wrote: »

With the general segregation of men and women socially, how do men and women meet? Is it all arranged marraiges? Do boys and girls play together up to a certain age and are segregated when they become men/women in the eyes of the community?

In my community, most people meet through shidduchim (matchmaking) and I can personally vouch that it really is an awesome system! A matchmaker is either a woman or man in the community with a respectable posititon such as a Rabbi or his wife (who usually know the person well from socialising together and will also ask questions on a person's general world view, what they expect from a future marriage, their religious practice etc) or simply friends or couples who met certain people and feel that they'd be a good fit for another person. Teachers and family members also often play a huge role in deciding between eachother who would be best suited for who.

Meetings are in public places such as a park, cafe, hotel lobby (usually a very fancy hotel!) or places like these, where the two sit and discuss their life goals, dreams, aspirations for building a family and basically what they want from life. Some people have these meetings for months, but most people either

I cannot commend this system enough. No mind games, no feelings of being used or taken advantage of, no running around in circles before realising someone doesn't want kids or another huge deal breaker and few (unfortunately they're hard to escape!) heartaches. Engagements are generally very, very short compared to Ireland. I met my husband in a park once a week for 6 months before getting engaged and we were married 2 months later. The first time he touched me was to put a ring on my finger and the first time we were alone in a locked room was directly after the wedding ceremony in the 'cheder yichud'. Our first kiss was that night and I've been happily married since.