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Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 387 ✭✭berger89


    marco_polo wrote: »
    Please tell me you draw the line at toasting anything containing coleslaw

    I've never had that request :D
    lettuce though on the other hand….turns to brown goop. yum.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,263 ✭✭✭Gongoozler


    Had a friend at college who every day got a panini with coleslaw, they had difficulty nearly every day with the request. If someone is aware of the outcome, and still asks for it, just do it!

    My one is similar to manzoors. I work in a public sector organisation, and when people aren't happy with what I tell them the legislation governs for, ie not things they want us to do, they often ask who is higher up :rolleyes: so I tell them that'd be the minister of x. Of course then it's "and how do I contact him? Give me his phone number" it's surprising the amount of people who think I have the ministers phone number. So my answer is "I don't have his phone number, do you have access to the Internet" not one person has realised that I'm not directory assistance at that point.

    If it was a nice person or they were especially in need then yeah I would Google it for them, but so far, as you're not giving them what they want, hence why they're going to the minister, they haven't tended to be very nice. If you expect me to do you a favour, try not insulting me directly before asking.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Gongoozler wrote: »
    .......
    My one is similar to manzoors. I work in a public sector organisation, and when people aren't happy with what I tell them the legislation governs for, ie not things they want us to do, they often ask who is higher up :rolleyes: so I tell them that'd be the minister of x. .......

    Worked in the PS until last year. As a manager I had to occasionally deal with referrals from other staff of people who were not happy about us not being able to sh1t money!

    Anyway, when I would - carefully - explain to them why they were not getting what they wanted (which someone else had already explained to them) they'd typically immediately threaten to go to the highest and final authority to have the issue adjudicated on.......Jooooooooooe Dufffffffffehhh!

    It used to be Gerry Ryan for a while - but then he died.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,909 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    There are some days when I feel like I'd like to kneecap Joe Duffy. We had a customer arrive one day about 30 minutes after we'd closed (working in a bank). They proceeded to nearly break the door down, they were hammering it so hard, and ringing the bell over and over again. At this stage we weren't allowed to open the door because a lot of the timelocks had come off, so we could access the safes to put the cash away for the night.

    I went to the door and shouted through the door that we were closed, and asked him what he wanted to do. (There is an ATM right beside the front door, and the odd time someone would walk away without taking their cash, and you'd either get the person coming back in a panic, or another person trying to hand it in) He said he "only wants to withdraw a hundred euro" and can I not just let him in (there was an ATM about 2 feet to his right). I told him no, he'd have to use the ATM, because our cash was locked away. He started ranting about how he didn't use ATMs because he doesn't trust machines. When the threats to call Joe started, I just had to walk away.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,379 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    montyrebel wrote: »
    I work in a pound shop, the amount of times in a week you get asked "how much is this" makes you want to punch a fluffy animal in the face
    I don't think I have ever been in a pound shop where everything was a set price. I've been in loads of shops that would probably be described as "pound shops" or "€2 shops", but all of them had some items priced differently.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    marco_polo wrote: »
    Please tell me you draw the line at toasting anything containing coleslaw

    I work in a deli part-time. Whenever anyone asks for a panini or toasted sandwich with coleslaw or lettuce, I put everything in then when the sandwich is toasted, re-open it and add in the coleslaw and lettuce. However, the amount of people who request to have all the contents put through the machine is quite worrying. It really does ruin the sandwich to be honest but you know the customer is always right.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,374 ✭✭✭InReality


    This post has been deleted.

    i have this problem ! so you set this typrewriter sound to be the sound when you typed something ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,779 ✭✭✭Spunge


    so ehh what happens to the coleslaw ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 986 ✭✭✭joe stodge


    Spunge wrote: »
    so ehh what happens to the coleslaw ?
    It causes 2nd degree hemroids.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Ayls


    I once worked (very briefly !) at an R.A.F base in England during the 80s, one day there was a legitimate bomb warning from the I.R.A - they asked me if I would stay & man the phones while they fled. Seriously.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    Spunge wrote: »
    so ehh what happens to the coleslaw ?

    It becomes a horrible, yellow, carroty goo.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,653 ✭✭✭storker


    "The air conditioning is a bit too loud above my desk. Could you turn down the volume?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,463 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    I once went up to the porters box at the Queen Margaret union at Glasgow university and asked the porter, 'Did anyone hand in my head.'

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



  • Registered Users Posts: 424 ✭✭SimonLynch


    I worked in place in the 90s where the whole IT thing was a bit of a growing project. Came in one morning and the boss was turning the monitor on the only CPU in the office with internet on and off, complaining the internet wasn't restarting. Fixed it quietly, I'm broke, he's probably worth a million :-(


  • Registered Users Posts: 697 ✭✭✭jrmb


    berger89 wrote:
    annoys me when customers tell ME the price of times and ask me "is that ok"? for instance, a woman today came in and handed me a bag of sugar and as i was scanning it, said "thats 1euro, is that ok?"
    I always wait a second to make sure I've handed over the right amount. And sometimes promotions don't register on the till.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    I worked in recruitment a number of years ago and would advertise jobs on various recruitment advertising websites which included irishjobs.ie The adverts had my name and contact number at the bottom. One day some bloke phoned up to tell me how slowly Irishjobs.ie website was running. No matter how much I tried to explain that I had only bought some advertising space on it, it was nothing to do with me he kept giving me examples "I went to make a cup of tea, the page still hadn't loaded" and telling me to just put him on hold and go get the IT support person to come to the phone.


  • Registered Users Posts: 268 ✭✭Ging Ging


    How much money have you?

    Katgurl wrote:
    I worked in recruitment a number of years ago and would advertise jobs on various recruitment advertising websites which included irishjobs.ie The adverts had my name and contact number at the bottom. One day some bloke phoned up to tell me how slowly Irishjobs.ie website was running. No matter how much I tried to explain that I had only bought some advertising space on it, it was nothing to do with me he kept giving me examples "I went to make a cup of tea, the page still hadn't loaded" and telling me to just put him on hold and go get the IT support person to come to the phone.

    Katgurl wrote:
    I worked in recruitment a number of years ago and would advertise jobs on various recruitment advertising websites which included irishjobs.ie The adverts had my name and contact number at the bottom. One day some bloke phoned up to tell me how slowly Irishjobs.ie website was running. No matter how much I tried to explain that I had only bought some advertising space on it, it was nothing to do with me he kept giving me examples "I went to make a cup of tea, the page still hadn't loaded" and telling me to just put him on hold and go get the IT support person to come to the phone.


    Ha, a case of if your not part of the solution then your part of the problem.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    Spent 30 minutes last night taking abuse from a customer because our wifi was not working, eventually discovered she was connected to her phone. It included such gems from her as "this is the worst hotel I've every stayed in" and the "I hope you don't think I will be paying for this room in the morning" and my all time favourite "I'm not stupid".

    I went into IT support mode with lines like "have you turned the device off and on again" and "are you sure you are connected to Frynge's network"

    All in all she was a right wagon, and not even an acknowledgment that she was in the wrong.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35 ocallaghan12


    efb wrote: »
    Do you have to ask priests to keep their protests down?

    Haha not quiet, but when 50 shades came out there was a lady with a rte camera and I taught " o God, here we go, Rural Irish cinemas showing smut" turns out it was following a girl from operation transformation :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,812 ✭✭✭✭bear1


    Haha not quiet, but when 50 shades came out there was a lady with a rte camera and I taught " o God, here we go, Rural Irish cinemas showing smut" turns out it was following a girl from operation transformation :P

    Took you 8 months to answer that? Must be some lad for punctuality.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 35 ocallaghan12


    bear1 wrote: »
    Took you 8 months to answer that? Must be some lad for punctuality.

    Haha ya I know :P it's my first time logging onto boards since then.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    At least you bumoed the thread. Good thread.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭donegaLroad


    before playing a gig one night, a couple of guys in our band went out to the pub's beer garden for a joint. Upon returning to the bar, the owner called them over and asked them did they do any 'smokey stuff'.

    Thinking that they might have been found out, one guy was reaching for his pocket about to hand the pub owner some weed, when the owner said

    'before the end of the night, play 'Living Next Door to Alice'


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,612 ✭✭✭✭Osmosis Jones


    I work part time in a petrol station and I can't believe how odd some requests can be.

    One woman standing at the coffee machine couldn't understand why her espresso wasn't filling up the whole cup.

    Had another ask for two 99s that wouldn't melt because she wanted to bring them home and have them later.

    Also had a lad return an empty can of gas and say "I think there might be some gas still left in it so can you measure how much is left and give me the money back?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 38,045 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    I work part time in a petrol station and I can't believe how odd some requests can be.

    One woman standing at the coffee machine couldn't understand why her espresso wasn't filling up the whole cup.

    Had another ask for two 99s that wouldn't melt because she wanted to bring them home and have them later.

    Also had a lad return an empty can of gas and say "I think there might be some gas still left in it so can you measure how much is left and give me the money back?"
    punch into the face for them lol

    wud the bull mccabe and his kind take that stupidly lol (bit random sorry)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    had a minister of state write in to ask us to consider changing our number as it was similar to one of his constituents and she was mithered with wrong numbers


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭Vojera


    I once had a lady get quite upset over the phone when I told her that we couldn't replace her broken window.

    We're a plumbing company :confused:


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭Aisling(",)


    When In catering I had someone ask if I could only give them peas that were all the one shade of green.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭bmwguy


    Not really a request, and I wasn't at work but one of the other posts reminded me of something that happened to me about 2 months ago.

    I pulled into a petrol station and was filling with fuel when a nearly new (141 reg I think) VW Golf pulled up to the pump beside me and started to take the green unleaded pump out of its holder and towards her car....I noticed the TDI sign on the back so I said, politely, that I think her car is a diesel (I knew 100% that I was) and she is about to put petrol into it. She said "this is my husbands car and he said I should get petrol on the way because it is low, I really don't think he would say that if it was a diesel". I told her to check with him again anyway as I didn't want a car ruined and I went into the shop to pay. On my way out, she had the black diesel pump and was pumping her fuel. I looked in her direction and she looked back at me and said "I spoke to my husband, it is petrol". Despite the fact that she was obviously pumping diesel on the advice of her husband. Her tone to me was like, if I had listened to you I would have ruined my car, even though I had actually saved her car, or a massive repair bill at the very least.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Worked with a fella, who almost on a weekly basis would stand up and shout across the room "hey <name>, can you send me back that email I just sent you, I need to add more detail". Standard response from every single person; "it's in your sent folder or just reply all and add the detail". He'd then get off, when someone would laugh as it was their first time hearing this debacle.


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