Haven't touched a drop in...

29 days - after a slip - I am out jogging every night, my face is losing that jowley look again, have a much more upbeat attitude, had the usual "cravings" at times and locations where I would have drank before.

It doesn't take that much to go from slim to tub once you slip. I did what I did before, convincing myself that if I just exercised more it would be ok to have 1-2 glasses (before it had been bottles) and I wouldn't see the effects of alcohol. But that, for me, is just not true because after 1 drink you don't want to go out jogging, you allow yourself the chocolate bar you have no determination or self discipline which is needed to do the simplest tasks. You don't cook a healthy home cooked meal from scratch, you chuck on some pasta instead. You sit down and watch a movie with your glass of wine instead of scrubbing your kitchen or painting your spare room. You definitely don't go out jogging.

So, this time, armed with what I know now and have read before - "You can't go back, you can't function to the standards that you set yourself even on just one. It is simply not possible. Not for you." - I am determined this time not to get fooled.

emmabrighton wrote: »

29 days - after a slip - I am out jogging every night, my face is losing that jowley look again, have a much more upbeat attitude, had the usual "cravings" at times and locations where I would have drank before.

It doesn't take that much to go from slim to tub once you slip. I did what I did before, convincing myself that if I just exercised more it would be ok to have 1-2 glasses (before it had been bottles) and I wouldn't see the effects of alcohol. But that, for me, is just not true because after 1 drink you don't want to go out jogging, you allow yourself the chocolate bar you have no determination or self discipline which is needed to do the simplest tasks. You don't cook a healthy home cooked meal from scratch, you chuck on some pasta instead. You sit down and watch a movie with your glass of wine instead of scrubbing your kitchen or painting your spare room. You definitely don't go out jogging.

So, this time, armed with what I know now and have read before - "You can't go back, you can't function to the standards that you set yourself even on just one. It is simply not possible. Not for you." - I am determined this time not to get fooled.

So even a slip up can end up being a source of motivation, a positive in other words. That's a great mentality.. Best of luck Emma ☺

GerB40 wrote: »

So, 9 months sober today... And even though I do bitch and moan sometimes (mainly because I thought I'd be "fixed" by now) I have to say, the quality of my life has improved immeasurably. I'm healthy, I'm confident and my self esteem has gone from zero to, well I can't really put a number on it but it certainly isn't zero.

Now I know nobody on this thread knows me personally (I hope ) but the person i described above wouldn't even recognise me if they/we met this time last year. My life is better because I don't drink anymore. And although the journey hasn't always been easy, it really boils down to that.

Again, I have to credit my change in attitude to some of the fine folks on this thread. If I ever feel shítty or weak I just look over some of the conversations that have been had, and just knowing that I'm not on this journey alone gives me a strength I never had before.

So I'd say to people starting a new life without drink (and people thinking about giving it up) just stick at it. That mightn't sound too poetic or profound but I couldn't possibly add anything that hasn't been said here before by more intelligent, experienced posters. Thanks boardsies, because life, at the moment, is pretty good..

Well done Ger delighted for you.

The good news is it keeps getting better and better every day! Enjoy it

13 years for me today......very grateful to AA and all that being an active member has gifted me with.

Really enjoy being a part of this forum as well.....lots of you have become (albeit digitally ) a genuine part of my journey so thanks for that.
Here's to the next 13!

marienbad wrote: »

Great stuff Amazingfun , As a fellow AA believer I find your posts are always insightful and on the ball and a joy to read .

And we now have enough digital friend on here to have digital meetings !

Here is to your next 13 years of sobriety !

haha it's mad I know! Remember in a Vision for You where it talks about what it's like to see a sober fellowship grow up around you and how it's an experience we must not miss? How blown away would they be to see it can happen online too

Appreciate your kind words and 'right back at you': thanks for all you contribute here.

Just turned the 4 years mark. Time has flown by. Don't even think about alcohol now, life is good, uncomplicated, ok a little boring but that's my own fault for not getting involved in new things outside of the pub!!

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Congratulations Amazingfun!! Thanks so much for your contribution in this forum... Your enthusiasm & positivity jumps off the screen sometimes - it's great!

Thanks ABC and please forgive me for this but I heard it so early on in my sobriety and really never forgot it:

" Congratulating an alcoholic for not drinking alcohol is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding a horse"
- John Larroquette

Cushtie wrote: »

Just turned the 4 years mark. Time has flown by. Don't even think about alcohol now, life is good, uncomplicated, ok a little boring but that's my own fault for not getting involved in new things outside of the pub!!

Congratulations Cushtie , we are on a roll tonight ! What is it they say in US Elections - 4 more years ! So here is to your next 4 and the 4 after that and the...... you get the idea.

Amazingfun wrote: »

Thanks ABC and please forgive me for this but I heard it so early on in my sobriety and really never forgot it:

" Congratulating an alcoholic for not drinking alcohol is like congratulating a cowboy with hemorrhoids for not riding a horse"
- John Larroquette

And what if you are an alcoholic cowboy with haemorrhoids ? No more drunk at the reins for him or her .

Kunkka wrote: »

Amazing, well done! Just 10 years behind ya

I was saying yesterday in a meeting in a way I'm glad I'm an alcoholic due to me finding AA. It's put in place a way of living I never had even when I was a child before I drank. I can deal with things today and enjoy life for the simple things. We're the lucky ones so many out there active that are extremely unhappy.

Well Kunka another way of looking at it is whoever was up earliest this morning is sober the longest , at day at a time and all that .

I must confess I had a long lie in today until 11.30 so I am only a beginner compared to you early risers

enoughalready wrote: »

I'm at a dodgy stage today where I am having thought processes that maybe I can drink like a 'normal' person again. My mind is playing very devious tricks on me and I knew straight away where to go to express myself! No - not the pub....HERE! I kind of feel like I am being left behind. (Defo a pity party rant!) As if I am not 'out there' being young free and single, being sociable...I'm 28 and still feel like I have more socialising to do. It's just so hard socialising sober, I mean I can do it and it's 'fine', but I'm not living life just to feel 'fine'. Feel I need a slap in the face and for someone to tell me to cop the f**k on!!! I know I'm happier in myself without drink but I am like a bloody hermit hibernating all the time. I need a new awakening. I need to reinvent myself. Anyone else have similar dilemmas?

Most important thing here is you've shared about it before doing something you know you will regret. Get to a meeting if you go to meetings. I was 25 when I gave up and I'm 28 now so I know how you feel but that does pass. You'll soon realize and accept there is much more to life than that bull****. You've had a strong case of euphoric recall and this is normal with where you are at, I was the same. You're thinking about the good times on drink that are long gone, it just WON'T be the same. Just remember it will never be the same so what's the point of going back to that absolute misery. I think you're right and you do need to get out & do something with your spare time though. I got very much in to fitness and I made friends with people who don't drink who I now go for coffees with. Then I met my GF and now I don't have a minute anymore . You need to find what works for you.

Best of luck and keep posting here when you need to.

What to do with one's time and how to meet people , it seems to be the eternal conundrum for the sober life . So ABC and enoughalready I can identify completely with what ye are experiencing .

But it only seems to be a conundrum , for me a sober life is not the same life as before but just minus the drink , it is a completely different life . It is like emigrating to a different country , a different continent even .

I had many great drinking friends but not one has lasted into my sober life . Turns out they were not such great friends after all, just drinking buddies . And I don't mean that in a bad way , it is no different to all the great mates you have in a job and when you are leaving everyone says they will stay in touch , but they rarely do ,once the job connection is gone so is the friendship. True friendship is a rare thing and not to be found through a love of drink or work.

And I had the people telling me that no way was I an alcoholic and I realized that that was just fear on their part ,because if I was then maybe they were too. And this was confirmed as I saw them drifting in and out of AA in the ensuing years .

And then exactly as you say , after a year or so into the programme people genuinely delighted for me as they could see I had ''a bit of a problem''and congratulating me on my success. Nice to hear but exasperating at the same time - if you could see why didn't you tell me at the time for fcuk sake , but we are a polite nation and that kind of honest is rarely our way.

Anyway I am rambling at this stage so to the point what to do about it. For me I never ,ever went to pubs again unless it was an unavoidable family occasion , wedding, birthday,etc. And very quickly I became bored with even the best of people who had even two or three pints in them . It really does change them and only the long term sober can see it.

I created a whole new lifestyle based around interests I had given up on and new ones I set out to find ,Sport,Photography,Classical Music, Books
and most of all AA , going to meetings for myself and helping others . And reconnecting with my family .

The hardest part for me was that I was socially inept before I drank and the alcohol cured all that ,so now that I was sober I had to face those issues without a crutch . Turns out it was not that hard .

So endeth the ramble