Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

MonkeyTennis · 15-01-2015 05:47PM

bear1 wrote: »

I can kind of see your boss' point. In my company, the IT crowd haven't a clue until we start complaining about it.
Tbf, they are very quick at resolving the issues though.

Oh they know. Theres a big screen down there with flashing lights n stuff .. the whole nine yards. They actually call it THE screen

larko · 15-01-2015 05:50PM

Happened today

Mrs c - 10 packets of ...
Me- good news they're half price this month so thats 12,50
Mrs c- whats wrong with them?
Me - nothing its just a January special offer
Mrs c- whats the date on them?
Me - same as always. 2 year expiry Date
Mrs c- no thanks ill take the regular ones
Me - ok 25 euro please. Idiot

I felt I was in the life of brian with my ghurd

irish_goat · 15-01-2015 05:55PM

Had a woman who forgot to put her recycling bin out for collection and was asking for us to send a lorry to go and get it. I told her we couldn't and she gave out about how the council is always trying to promote recycling and saving the environment and should be coming to get her bin. I tried explaining how unenvironmentally friendly it would be to send a 32 tonne lorry on a 2 mile trip for 1 bin but it fell completely on deaf ears.

Also had a man yesterday try to tell me that he successfully drove his car up and down a steep hill in the snow so the aforementioned 32 tonne lorry should have no problem doing it either.

In my previous life I had a woman ask for less ice in her cocktail but expected the drink to still be full to the brim with alcohol instead.

dollyk · 15-01-2015 05:56PM

Me sitting on my till in lidl, with full uniform.
" Hi do you work here" :rolleyes:

Although in fairness I once asked a lad in a hardware store for a ton of skirting board nails.
Well I was sure thats what I was sent for.
Young lad serving couldnt even tell me why he was falling about laughing. lol

Birneybau · 15-01-2015 06:35PM

Hazys wrote: »

I love how so many people get so wound up by Aongus Von Bismarck's posts. His subtle trolling is hilarious.

You should check out his blog. Link is in his profile.

Dingle_berry · 15-01-2015 06:54PM

Them: 'That culture is urgent, can you write urgent on the plate?'
Us: 'eh... OK... (Bacteria can't read) it will still take 24 hours'
24 hours later
Them: 'I'm looking for the results of the culture on XXX YYY'
Us: 'there was no organisms isolated'
Them: 'OK and do you have the anti microbial sensitivities on that?'
Us: '...everything?'

Or
Us: 'sorry We have to reject that sample, it was collected into a (wrong tube with wrong preservative hence alters the results) then transfered into the correct tube type'
Them 'I took it my self, I definitely put it in the right tube'
Us: 'OK well then the results are incompatible with life. If the patient is still alive I strongly advise a repeat sample'

Then they go back to the patient and say 'oh they lost your sample, I have to take it again'

Sociopath2 · 15-01-2015 07:30PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I have excellent basic IT skills. I'm not on the telephone to It asking them how to book a meeting room, or how to write a macro in Excel. But I don't really want to or need to know what version of Oracle our systems are running on. Or how they get backed up.

I see IT as being like a utility. Water, electricity, IT. It should work almost all of the time, and if something goes wrong then I expect someone to arrive promptly and fix it. I don't need to know why it stopped working; I just want it back asap. And I expect the person who does fix the issue to be professional about their work. That includes being prompt, well dressed and with a pleasant phone manner.

Excellent basic IT skills? Oxymoron there, I would think.

That's the problem when peasants rise a little above their station, they begin to throw their weight around unnecessarily because they don't know how to act in polite company. Suddenly they believe they are a lord. Very parochial behaviour, you fitted in far better than you thought in your Galway bog hole.

I can assure you your German colleagues, including the IT drones mock your faux sophistication behind your back. You must give them no end of entertainment.

As I said absolutely no class.

Lucyfur · 15-01-2015 07:33PM

"Can you stop my son urinating in that plant pot"

For serious.

Electric Sheep · 15-01-2015 07:38PM

Hazys wrote: »

I love how so many people get so wound up by Aongus Von Bismarck's posts. His subtle trolling is hilarious.

Subtle?! Anything but...

c_man · 15-01-2015 07:49PM

Hazys wrote: »

I love how so many people get so wound up by Aongus Von Bismarck's posts. His subtle trolling is hilarious.

I

his blog.

Bootros Bootros · 15-01-2015 07:49PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

This trope is lost on me I'm afraid. Is it geek humour? The reason I ask is that it isn't very amusing. Rather like Family Guy - a show loved by IT workers it would seem.

What's funny Aongus is that your work while highly renumerated could be done just as well by a monkey (there are plenty of studies on this) but the software doing the work for you has been written by much smarter people who are often paid less at least as wages ( of course plenty of the high net worth individuals you work for would be geeks but that's entrepeneurs).

It's really hard to explain( never mind justify) the wages of trade-monkeys. Not only could an actual monkey or a 4 year old do your job; it what ever skill used to apply in say 1970 is now done by computers. In general unskilled labour falls in price once automated. Not in the case of trader monkeys.

I suspect because it is a socialist scheme -- there being no risks to failure -- you can award yourselves whatever bonuses your monkey bosses want to pay.

Bootros Bootros · 15-01-2015 07:58PM

c_man wrote: »

I his blog.

He is I think sadly a real person.

bucketybuck · 15-01-2015 08:05PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Subtle?! Anything but...

And yet its still a constant parade of idiots posting replies to him.

Shanotheslayer · 15-01-2015 08:09PM

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I learned vba to be able to automate things in Excel. That was logical and straightforward. I'm about to take a course in the R programming language so as to be able to query and analyse large quantities of financial data.

It really isn't that difficult. It certainly isn't as complicated or analytical as the work I do. And the salary structures reflect that. Some IT workers have a really heightened sense of self-importance about themselves and what they do.

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

And well done to whoever wrote them. I'm sure they are very good at what they do. Same as the engineers who designed my new BMW 5 Series. But I don't need to know the intricate details of how they work.

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

What car does your company provide you, Your Superior? A 1986 Ford Orion? If a BMW 5 Series and a Passat are for low-level drones, then what car would they buy for those higher up the corporate ladder?

I bought the car myself. It's a lovely drive and worth every penny. Premium German engineering. And when I do get it serviced, it will be in a garage where professionalism, courtesy and knowledge are always shown.

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

This trope is lost on me I'm afraid. Is it geek humour? The reason I ask is that it isn't very amusing. Rather like Family Guy - a show loved by IT workers it would seem.

I'll take the card if it's reported.

Just fcuk off mate. Sick of reading you talking pure bollix.

Lucyfur · 15-01-2015 08:12PM

MOD

I've a mad idea. If you don't like a persons posts, put them on ignore or skim over their posts.

I think it might be crazy enough to work

petrolcan · 15-01-2015 08:23PM

Aongus is going to need a bigger net.

The Moldy Gowl · 15-01-2015 08:24PM

aonghus.

He has a point. He is just condescending about it

Shanotheslayer · 15-01-2015 08:28PM

Lucyfur wrote: »

MOD

I've a mad idea. If you don't like a persons posts, put them on ignore or skim over their posts.

I think it might be crazy enough to work

I Was just testing your Mod Skills Lucy.

Congratulations you passed

NotCominBack · 15-01-2015 08:40PM

Have absolutely no idea why people get so uptight about posts like that, clearly a wind up, and if not then it's still funny

4zn76tysfajdxp · 15-01-2015 08:42PM

There's no way that blog is real.

bear1 · 15-01-2015 09:19PM

Why am I not surprised that the first mod note has come onto the thread.

shruikan2553 · 15-01-2015 09:25PM

anncoates wrote: »

We all get company space shuttles in my job.

Same as mine but the elites who know VBA get FTL drives in theirs. Cant afford to lose people with such programming skills.

Paddy Cow · 15-01-2015 09:35PM

Madeline Acidic Peppermint wrote: »

There's no way that blog is real.

That blog reads like an average person trying to come across as intelligent and eloquent. Stephen Fry he ain't.

Sociopath2 · 15-01-2015 09:37PM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

That blog reads like an average person trying to come across as intelligent and eloquent. Stephen Fry he ain't.

It sounds like Hyacinth Bucket had a sex change.

shruikan2553 · 15-01-2015 09:40PM

Madeline Acidic Peppermint wrote: »

There's no way that blog is real.

Everyone he meets is a stereotype.

bucketybuck · 15-01-2015 10:38PM

NotCominBack wrote: »

Have absolutely no idea why people get so uptight about posts like that, clearly a wind up, and if not then it's still funny

Because if I wanted to read his blog I'd go and read his blog. I don't want to read his fishing and the numerous posts it attracts in what otherwise could have been an interesting thread.

corner of hells · 15-01-2015 11:36PM

Reverseko wrote: »

I love Aongus Von Bismarck and look forward to reading more about his lifestyle.

You're him , aren't you ?

bear1 · 15-01-2015 11:39PM

Lads, I can see that at some point this thread will be closed. Which is an utter shame as it was going so well.
It was a simple lighthearted thread about idiocy at work and it has come down to people talking about some lad's blog and how hes trolling around.
A few posters have tried to steer it back but alas we are going in circles.
Pity.

rawn · 15-01-2015 11:54PM

I worked for a photography company that specializes in college graduation photography, part of my job was to sell frames to the graduates along with their photos. Well, to their parents who were usually the ones paying. Anyways, the sheer amount of parents who got annoyed with me because they wanted to buy a frame in portrait, not landscape, not realizing that this involves simply flipping the frame on it's side.

efb · 15-01-2015 11:55PM

rawn wrote: »

I worked for a photography company that specializes in college graduation photography, part of my job was to sell frames to the graduates along with their photos. Well, to their parents who were usually the ones paying. Anyways, the sheer amount of parents who got annoyed with me because they wanted to buy a frame in portrait, not landscape, not realizing that this involves simply flipping the frame on it's side.

Well flip it on its side and charge double for the multifunction frame : D

Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

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