I am so tired!

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 02:36PM #1

Right folks, staying up late to watch the world cup along with the heat has meant I've barely got a wink of sleep all week. Apparently I've also been having sneezing fits in my sleep that I don't have any recollection of, so that can't have helped.

Anyway, this has built up to the point that I'm now struggling badly to keep my eyes open at work. Last time I remember being this tired at a desk was in college lectures after a heavy night on the sauce.

Three hours to go, need to stay awake, what should I do AH? I've already had 3 coffees and 2 teas and rubbed my eyes extensively. Any other ideas?

Before you suggest them, I'm not going to:

Masturbate
Flash anyone
Get drunk
Go home early

:P

Alf. A. Male · 20-06-2014 02:40PM

I'd love to help, but you ruled out the only four ideas that matter. I can only suggest burning down the office now.

20-06-2014 02:41PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Before you suggest them, I'm not going to:
Masturbate

Flash anyone

Get drunk

Go home early

:P

It's like you don't even want to be helped

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-06-2014 02:42PM

Ecstasy

waraf · 20-06-2014 02:42PM

waraf · 20-06-2014 02:43PM

just joking OP. Get out for a ten minute brisk walk usually works to keep you awake a bit longer

Corkgirl210 · 20-06-2014 02:43PM

Redbull? air?

MagicIRL · 20-06-2014 02:43PM

Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy energetic as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness energy is just a dollar away.

Jonny Blaze · 20-06-2014 02:45PM

Finger in a power outlet?

eigrod · 20-06-2014 02:46PM

3 things to help :

Drink lots of cold water;
get fresh cool air in and about you
Regular mini walks around your office

Lucifer MorningStar · 20-06-2014 02:47PM

Have a kip in the office

Boom_Bap · 20-06-2014 02:47PM

Go to the nearest toilet cubicle. Don't look in the toilet bowl.

Dunk your head in an hold it as long as possible, while doing this, try to figure out if the toilet was flushed before you dunked using only your scalp.

Your head will be refreshed, and you senses will be heightened after this. Your brain also gets a workout.

The glorious thing about this, you can keep repeating if you keep getting tired. You can also spice things up by sneaking into a cubicle of the opposite sex.

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 02:50PM

eigrod wrote: »

3 things to help :

Drink lots of cold water;
get fresh cool air in and about you
Regular mini walks around your office

Went and splashed my face with cold water and then drank a load of it.

Fresh air is off the table, it's one of those modern buildings where the windows don't open.

Took a mini walk around the office, stuck a clipboard under my arm and walked with purpose so it looked like I was busy.

Cheers, I'd say you've bought me about 20 minutes.

Vito Corleone · 20-06-2014 02:50PM

I could tell you a story that will make you cry.

Hande hoche! · 20-06-2014 02:51PM

epinephrine

SterlingArcher · 20-06-2014 02:52PM

matcha green tea

Tastes ugh but Natural. And does work, helps with anxiety also.

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 02:53PM

Hande hoche! wrote: »

epinephrine

I haven't got any, but that's basically adrenaline, right? So all I need to do is start a fight?

Hande hoche! · 20-06-2014 02:54PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I haven't got any, but that's basically adrenaline, right? So all I need to do is start a fight?

Pretty much. Ideally with someone smaller and weaker than you.

SterlingArcher · 20-06-2014 02:55PM

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Pretty much. Ideally with someone smaller and weaker than you.

Wouldn't that only leave kittens?

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 02:55PM

Vito Corleone wrote: »

I could tell you a story that will make you cry.

Hit me with it Vito, maybe focusing on beating back the tears will help me stay awake. :eek:

SterlingArcher wrote: »

Wouldn't that only leave kittens?

You stole my self-deprecating joke!

Tardful Slakerly II · 20-06-2014 02:56PM

You want some amphetamines, speed. Borrow an aderall off someone if they have any, or try your local biker bar.

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 03:01PM

So I've been giving people the stink-eye to try and instigate a fight and get the sweet adrenaline kick, but I think I just look constipated because they all look vaguely uncomfortable and then they turn away and whisper.

20-06-2014 03:05PM

Can you get a coffee? A double espresso will pick you up a bit (before you crash even further).

Another technique is to close your eyes for two minutes with your head supported and massage the area between your eyes with your fingertips, or give yourself 5 minutes to do some paced breathing.

Sugary tea might help too, very temporarily though.

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 03:08PM

Candie wrote: »

Another technique is to close your eyes for two minutes with your head supported and massage the area between your eyes with your fingertips, or give yourself 5 minutes to do some paced breathing.

I actually tried this a couple of times earlier and it seemed to help, but the gentle tapping of people's keyboards and the hushed voices in the next room were almost like a lullaby and I was in very real danger of dosing off!

Akrasia · 20-06-2014 03:10PM

Put on some headphones and listen to 'Machine Gun' by Portishead at the loudest volume your can get without going deaf. I dare anyone to sleep through this song. Also the terminator bit at the end is awesome

Arthur Beesley · 20-06-2014 03:10PM

5 cans of Red Bull and 5 cans of Monster.

BBDBB · 20-06-2014 03:11PM

stop fighting nature

get yourself a pair of these bad boys and have a nap

http://www.evilskippyatwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/images-6.jpeg

Maximus Alexander · 20-06-2014 03:11PM

Akrasia wrote: »

Put on some headphones and listen to 'Machine Gun' by Portishead at the loudest volume your can get without going deaf. I dare anyone to sleep through this song. Also the terminator bit at the end is awesome

If it's on Spotify, I'll give it a go!

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

5 cans of Red Bull and 5 cans of Monster.

You forgot to put </LIFE> at the end of that. :P

rolliepoley · 20-06-2014 03:13PM

Do a dummy faint and blame it on the heat, then say you have to go outside and get some fresh air.

Dramatik · 20-06-2014 03:13PM

Rub cold water in your eyes, not on your eyelids but on your actual eyeballs, that usually helps for a good half hour. You could also try drawing a picture of your boss stark naked giving out to you for falling asleep on the job, I've found this also helps.

DaveyWaveyLad · 20-06-2014 03:15PM

Seriously, get an eye-test. Watching tv for longer than usual coupled with using a screen at work can cause eye strain leading to tiredness/yawning. If you already wear glasses then maybe a prescription update is needed.

I am so tired!

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