What's the stupidest answer you've given on an exam question?

shruikan2553 · 31-03-2014 06:27PM

A wrote an essay for my Irish mocks about a fight between a dragon and a jedi which lead to the jedi stealing my bike. The jedi made a return in my letter home while I was on holidays.

calanus · 31-03-2014 06:32PM

In science class in first year - might have been the first week also. The teacher is asking us a few basic questions. She asks a few to identify a few elements from the periodic table that are gasses.

"Name a type of gas, Calanus?"

Me : "huh" - completely not paying attention

"Name a type of gas"

Me : "ehhh, Calor gas?"

Tasden · 31-03-2014 06:51PM

kiffer wrote: »

I had one when getting a driving lesson...
Driving instructor asked "What makes the car go?"
I said "The engine."
"No" he said, "more basic than that."
"Petrol!"
"No, more fundamental than that..."
So there I am thinking, what's petrol made of... oil, what's the oil made from? Dead plants, under heat and pressure but Fundamentally the energy comes from sun light...
So I hazard "... the sun?"

There was some slight confusion after that but we got it sorted out. Slight rephrasing of the question as "What do you do to make the car go" and I got that he wanted me to say "press the accelerator".

Smart is the new stupid.

I had lessons in one of those driving campus things with the fake roads done out so I'm driving along and the instructor is giving me directions as we go.

I had been with the same instructor a few times so we were quite chatty, so we're chatting and he says "ok so now just go right through this roundabout up ahead" and then continued on with the conversation, I was kinda confused about his instruction but didn't want to interrupt him talking so when i got near the roundabout I drove onto the opposite right hand side of the "road" and drove around the roundabout the wrong way and then back onto my side of the road!

he was like "wtf was that?!" And then I realised what he meant! :pac:

languagenerd · 31-03-2014 07:25PM

I did both French and Spanish in school. In the Spanish mock, you had to write a "note" to an exchange student staying with you and "ask if they could pick the cake up from the bakery on the way home". I must have been thinking in French (gateau) cause I asked them to collect the "gato". Gato means cat in Spanish :P

Femme_Fatale · 31-03-2014 08:36PM

"He defecated" instead of "He defected".

And it was college, not school.

:o

orangesoda · 31-03-2014 08:49PM

A-Level Biology, I didn't bother revising the Genetics section as it was way beyond my capability, 1/2 of the exam paper was about Genetics so you can guess the rest

beano345 · 31-03-2014 09:00PM

Art exam in secondary and I got stuck on this question

"What language was the book of kells wrote in?"

So I whispered to a mate psst what's the answer?

"Dutch" he says

A week later and its all forgotten about,,,until the art teacher is reading back over the questions and picking people at random he comes to the question and asks my mate who answers "Latin"

Very good says the teacher....unlike some people who wrote Dutch isn't that right beano.

Zed Bank · 31-03-2014 09:17PM

During my religious mocks for the junior cert. I had been stressed out all week, it was Friday and religion was my last exam.

I had a certain amount of contempt for religion as a subject, and my teacher was a bit of a Jesus freak so you can imagine how a young 15 year old felt the uncontrollable urge to vent my fustration.

I had answered all the other questions fairly well but there was one I had skipped and needed the come back to it was something along the lines of "Christians have faith that Jesus is the son of God, define some of the morals and values attributed to Jesus"

I thought "yes lets have some fun"

I started "that would be an ecumenical matter, however Christians have been deceived in their belief in Jesus Christ. In fact the one true Lord and savior is Nicolas cage...."

I continued in that manner and thought that I was honestly going to win a ****ing award from my creativity. I ended with "I know this is true as I am the high wizard and prophet of the church of Cage and my lord has revealed this to me, together we will defeat the evil that is Tom cruise, HAIL CAGE!"

The examiner saw the funny side and awarded me attempt marks. Needless to say my religion teacher was not happy. Got a C all the same :O

Blue giant · 31-03-2014 09:32PM

One of my friends for the junior cert history mocks. A question was why would Christopher Columbus not like Amerigo Vespucci and he said because he was a bad was man who didn't take nothing from nobody. Needless to say he didn't get any marks for it. Also one of the boys drew a picture of a cow for the greenhouse effect with gas coming out of its ass. There was also a random pic in which he asked for marks for it. Another one then was the last page On the paper said blank page on which he wrote not anymore. Also the inexcusable mistake if writing orgasm instead of organism in science in first year.

PizzamanIRL · 31-03-2014 09:37PM

martingriff wrote: »

Nothing and do not flash any car yourself as if it to warn of gards you can be done

Sorry but if some incompetent driver is coming towards and not realising that he's blinding me then he'll get a friendly flash. If I happen to flash the Gardai I can always say oh it was a mistake I hit off it by accident blah blah blah

B_Rabbit · 31-03-2014 09:40PM

Talking about heterogenous and homogenous mixtures in Chemistry in secondary school.

Teacher asks me what's the difference between the two, and I didn't know.

"B_Rabbit, you should have studied, hetero means different"

"Jaysus miss, I thought it was the homo's that were different"

Bubbaclaus · 31-03-2014 09:59PM

Biology exam had to draw and label a diagram of the Kidney. Didn't have a clue.

So I drew a kidney shaped pool with some guy swimming in it, pointed an arrow at him with the label 'Michael Phelps'.

pharmaton · 31-03-2014 10:00PM

not an exam but was filling out my cv and couldn't remember the names of the modules I'd covered on a course I completed over a decade ago, off the top of my head I wrote down what I could think of with the intention of editing it at some stage when I had all the details. In the place where the modules should have gone I put 'drugs & administration'. I forgot to fix that up and only copped it today. Yes sir that's right, I'm an expert in drugs and administration.

pat_cork · 31-03-2014 10:15PM

I once wrote stupidest instead of most stupid in an English essay.

whupdedo · 31-03-2014 10:16PM

martingriff wrote: »

Nothing and do not flash any car yourself as if it to warn of gards you can be done

I just knew some eejit would comment on it :pac:

noveltea · 31-03-2014 10:39PM

It was a primary school table quiz. My question was, what does FBI stand for. I now know it is the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

BUT at the time there use to be an advert on tv for Batchelors Beans and I am 99% certain the advert said "Batchelors Beans, the finest beans in Ireland"

And that was my answer FBI, Finest Beans in Ireland.

martingriff · 31-03-2014 10:43PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

The question wasn't even what to do when someone flashes you, it was just what to do if they come at you with full headlights.

The answer is don't look directly at the lights I think.

And my stupid answer to a question. Kids lets that be a lesson always read before answering. Doing that a lot recently

robindch · 31-03-2014 10:51PM

In a religious exam years ago, a classmate answered thusly:

Q: What is the Angelus?
A: "Bong, bong, bong. Bong, bong, bong. Bong, bong, bong. Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong."

Another guy in the class was hopeless at Irish and spent his lower-level leaving cert exam drawing pictures of Peig engaged in a range of household chores next to a fireplace.

titan18 · 31-03-2014 10:53PM

Had a question in college about what's used to communicate a project's tasks and timeline, draw a diagram.

Had no idea, so I started talking about Instant Messaging, including drawing diagrams of the old MSN chat window, and how it can be used for projects.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 31-03-2014 11:02PM

In a woodwork Mock exam for the junior cert one of the questions showed a picture of a tool that is used to hold wood together after applying glue and asked "What type of Cramp is this?"

The answer my friend wrote down was **** Cramp.

Unfortunately for him our teacher ended up checking the exams and not someone from outside the school and he got a bit of a telling off.

tomwaterford · 31-03-2014 11:10PM

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

In my driving test, before we got to the driving, one of the questions was:

"What do you do when a car is coming towards you with their full lights on?"

I said "Flash them back"

I was wrong. I still don't know the real answer. It's what I do to this day.

I did this too...except in my case the tester burst out laughing...think he taught I meant actually physically get out and flash them!!

once for a mock leaving cert English exam ordinary level just had a pure disaster and messed everything up....wrote 9 lines for the essay...had terrible writing (still do) and half my answers were underlined with a question mark after them:o
just went blank-was told it was the worst ever result in English mock exam in the history of the school by the principal in the middle of being giving out to over it!!

jimmy180sx · 31-03-2014 11:22PM

Not an exam question, but a good friend was on a tv show in the UK, Fun House with Pat Sharp, question was, Name three emergency services?

My mate answered, police, ambulance, and the AA...at the time the AA had adverts running with the slogan,we're the fourth emergency service...

someone from the AA saw the show and invited him up to their head office and gave him a check for £100 and a trip to Alton Towers. Needles to say we ripped the piss outa him throughout the rest of primary & secondary school.

Chet T16 · 31-03-2014 11:28PM

Exam a year of two ago where we were to name and compare to different communication protocols. I remembered exactly how the protocols worked but could only name one so at the start of the question i wrote "I cannot remember the name of this protocol so for the purposes of this explanation i'll call it Dave, if i remember before the exam is finished i'll write it here ___________" I didn't remember.

Different exam asked to draw the circuit diagram for a bridge rectifier. I couldn't remember what way it went but knew there was 4 diodes in a diamond formation so stuck them in any which way with the caption "this is similar to an actual bridge rectifier differing only by the fact that this one would't work"

EoghanIRL · 31-03-2014 11:39PM

What is the strongest force in nature (particle physics ) and state it's range .

Love wasn't the right answer.

dirtyden · 31-03-2014 11:40PM

Zed Bank wrote: »

During my religious mocks for the junior cert. I had been stressed out all week, it was Friday and religion was my last exam.

I had a certain amount of contempt for religion as a subject, and my teacher was a bit of a Jesus freak so you can imagine how a young 15 year old felt the uncontrollable urge to vent my fustration.

I had answered all the other questions fairly well but there was one I had skipped and needed the come back to it was something along the lines of "Christians have faith that Jesus is the son of God, define some of the morals and values attributed to Jesus"

I thought "yes lets have some fun"

I started "that would be an ecumenical matter, however Christians have been deceived in their belief in Jesus Christ. In fact the one true Lord and savior is Nicolas cage...."

I continued in that manner and thought that I was honestly going to win a ****ing award from my creativity. I ended with "I know this is true as I am the high wizard and prophet of the church of Cage and my lord has revealed this to me, together we will defeat the evil that is Tom cruise, HAIL CAGE!"

The examiner saw the funny side and awarded me attempt marks. Needless to say my religion teacher was not happy. Got a C all the same :O

A junior cert exam in religion?

Are you sure your not making this up?

Jinonatron · 31-03-2014 11:45PM

dirtyden wrote: »

A junior cert exam in religion?

Are you sure your not making this up?

I did one as well

Legwinski · 31-03-2014 11:47PM

dirtyden wrote: »

A junior cert exam in religion?

Are you sure your not making this up?

I had to do it. Learnin' bout Islam nd ting.

retro:electro · 01-04-2014 12:12AM

Second year English exam in college one of our questions was on 'the turn of the screw' by Henry James.. That was grand anyway I answered it pretty well but afterwards I noticed my friend was putting away a load of Shakespeare notes into her bag and I asked her why she had them, turns out she wrote about the Shakespeare's 'the taming of the shrew'.. Needless to say she didn't do very well.

spiritcrusher · 01-04-2014 12:19AM

First year history in secondary school. Teacher was talking about Columbus. He had been telling us the previous day about how he circumnavigated the Earth, and quizzed us verbally on it.
He asked a question requiring the answer "he circumnavigated the Earth".
I of course blurted out that he circumcised the Earth.

He was nearly crippled with laughter for about 5 minutes after that.
Weird thing is I didn't even know what circumcision was...

Doyler92 · 01-04-2014 12:29AM

After reading some of these answers I wish I could go back to doing exams just to write some of them and see the outcome!

What's the stupidest answer you've given on an exam question?

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