Close shaves (with death)

bogwalrus · 21-02-2014 03:38AM #1

I opened the other post thinking it was going to be close shaves as in nearly killing yourself. Was very disappointed.

It did make me remember of the time I nearly killed myself.

Was driving back to kerry the next day after a nights drinking in limerick and pretty much fell asleep at the wheel. I had 3 passengers with me. Luckily my girlfriend at the time screamed when I veered in to oncoming traffic. It was such a close one. Was easily going 100. Lyric fm on the radio must have put me on a trance. I always turn that station off whenever something soothing comes on.

Anyone else have a close shave with death?

BetterThanThou · 21-02-2014 03:45AM

Maybe not so much a close shave with death, but I was terrified.
Now, I like dogs, so this isn't just me having an irrational fear of dogs. But I was walking down the road one day, past the entrance to an estate. Next thing, I have 3 dogs following me, fairly decent sized dogs, 1 was a type of lurcher, 1 a beagle and another similar size to the beagle, barking aggressively at me. My knowledge of dogs tells me to turn around and appear as big as possible, the dogs don't seem to be phased, still coming closer, so I'm slowly baking away while facing them, I trip over a curb and lose my footing for a while, this scares one of the dogs and it runs off, followed by the other two.

Bipolar Joe · 21-02-2014 03:50AM

bogwalrus wrote: »

I opened the other post thinking it was going to be close shaves as in nearly killing yourself. Was very disappointed.

It did make me remember of the time I nearly killed myself.

Was driving back to kerry the next day after a nights drinking in limerick and pretty much fell asleep at the wheel. I had 3 passengers with me. Luckily my girlfriend at the time screamed when I veered in to oncoming traffic. It was such a close one. Was easily going 100. Lyric fm on the radio must have put me on a trance. I always turn that station off whenever something soothing comes on.

Anyone else have a close shave with death?

Yup, t'was definitely Debussy made you fall asleep at the wheel, that wanker.

bogwalrus · 21-02-2014 03:51AM

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Maybe not so much a close shave with death, but I was terrified.
Now, I like dogs, so this isn't just me having an irrational fear of dogs. But I was walking down the road one day, past the entrance to an estate. Next thing, I have 3 dogs following me, fairly decent sized dogs, 1 was a type of lurcher, 1 a beagle and another similar size to the beagle, barking aggressively at me. My knowledge of dogs tells me to turn around and appear as big as possible, the dogs don't seem to be phased, still coming closer, so I'm slowly baking away while facing them, I trip over a curb and lose my footing for a while, this scares one of the dogs and it runs off, followed by the other two.

It was creepy reading that. Dogs have a pack mentality and can do anything when you bunch them together. I live in the countryside and one of my neighbours has 6 dogs. Individually all pleasant and nice but when together they are bullys towards my donkey and horse.

Paulie Gualtieri · 21-02-2014 03:53AM

Straight razor with a feather blade.

bogwalrus · 21-02-2014 03:53AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Yup, t'was definitely Debussy made you fall asleep at the wheel, that wanker.

By far the most dangerous radio station to listen to while driving. Worse than listening to sports.

Chucken · 21-02-2014 03:53AM

bogwalrus wrote: »

I opened the other post thinking it was going to be close shaves as in nearly killing yourself. Was very disappointed.

It did make me remember of the time I nearly killed myself.

... next day after a nights drinking in limerick and pretty much fell asleep at the wheel. I had 3 passengers with me.

Ya..you'd want to think about that eh?

Sir Arthur Daley · 21-02-2014 03:53AM

Stuck onto a Stanley oil fired range by electrocution that some one had powered back up while working on it, stuck to it for a few seconds close as shave as any so far.

MadsL · 21-02-2014 04:00AM

Hit the deck from forty feet up rock climbing, did not usually wear a helmet, only wore one because last week some boy scouts had kicked some rocks down and my buddy got hit on the shoulder. He was teaching kids the week before and had a bunch of helmets in the car. The fall punched a hole clean through the helmet the size of 2 euro coin. I cracked 3/4 of the way through C6 in my neck.

Fuck you death.

AlmightyCushion · 21-02-2014 04:09AM

My friend was on YouTube on my laptop the other day and I was still logged in. The fecker nearly found my Taylor Swift playlist, the embarrassment if he had would be enough to kill me.

bogwalrus · 21-02-2014 12:03PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

My friend was on YouTube on my laptop the other day and I was still logged in. The fecker nearly found my Taylor Swift playlist, the embarrassment if he had would be enough to kill me.

There was a statistic I read that every human has at least one very close call with death. I do not believe the above was yours. Be prepared=)

positron · 21-02-2014 12:10PM

I don't know if this counts but I was on a plane out of Charles de Gaulle airport just minutes before the Concorde crashed in July 2000. For all we know the debris on the runway fell off my plane?

Duggy747 · 21-02-2014 12:13PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

My friend was on YouTube on my laptop the other day and I was still logged in. The fecker nearly found my Taylor Swift playlist, the embarrassment if he had would be enough to kill me.

He didn't realise how close to death he was.

No witnesses.

Davarus Walrus · 21-02-2014 12:16PM

During the 80's I was going through a pretty rough time. I was boozing pretty heavily, and was developing a rather nasty coke habit. So I became a henchman for the Gruber brothers. The pay was good, and they weren't too bad once you resisted the urge to snigger at their comical accent. Ended up taking a bullet while in a firefight down a NY aqueduct. Nearly bled to death.

razorblunt · 21-02-2014 12:21PM

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

During the 80's I was going through a pretty rough time. I was boozing pretty heavily, and was developing a rather nasty coke habit. So I became a henchman for the Gruber brothers. The pay was good, and they weren't too bad once you resisted the urge to snigger at their comical accent. Ended up taking a bullet while in a firefight down a NY aqueduct. Nearly bled to death.

I wouldnt do that job for all the gold in your Fort Knox.

SuperGrover · 21-02-2014 12:23PM

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Maybe not so much a close shave with death, but I was terrified.
Now, I like dogs, so this isn't just me having an irrational fear of dogs. But I was walking down the road one day, past the entrance to an estate. Next thing, I have 3 dogs following me, fairly decent sized dogs, 1 was a type of lurcher, 1 a beagle and another similar size to the beagle, barking aggressively at me. My knowledge of dogs tells me to turn around and appear as big as possible, the dogs don't seem to be phased, still coming closer, so I'm slowly baking away while facing them, I trip over a curb and lose my footing for a while, this scares one of the dogs and it runs off, followed by the other two.

Maybe it was the smell of the bread or cake that was attracting them?

orangesoda · 21-02-2014 12:23PM

The Lough Neagh monster tried to eat me once, he is a cousin of Nessy, brutal fellow indeed

SuperGrover · 21-02-2014 12:27PM

I used to work doing lighting for plays and stuff.

One time I needed some cable for a lamp, so picked up what I thought was an unused cable on the stage and cut with a scissors.

There was a bang and a flash. The scissors had a hole burned into the blades. I was completely unharmed, insulated by shoes or magic or something.

Those theatre rigs aren't domestic supply, either.

It was only after a few minutes that I realised how close I had come to frying myself.

Kevin! · 21-02-2014 12:29PM

Magaluf 6th year holiday, first day of arrival thought it would be a fantastic idea to drink as much spirits as possible as quick as possible (700ml) in 3 hours - went through the balcony door in the room by myself which required 15+ stitches and narrowly avoided falling to imminent death on concrete - don't remember any of it happening just waking up in intensive care the next morning not knowing what happened

Was pure stupidity, and a real wake up call

Rothmans · 21-02-2014 12:37PM

Almost choked to death on a gobstopper when I was 12.

My father was belting by back with his fist to try dislodge it from my throat.

It was stuck in there for about a minute and a half. Thought it was the end. I was begging to see those wavy silver stars that you often see if you get up to quickly/ feel light headed.

One last punch and it popped out. Most terrifying experience of my life.

To this day, I never talk with my mouth full, always make sure any food in my mouth is secured when taking a breath etc. May sound paranoid, but I'm terrified it might happen again if I'm not careful.

Zen 2nd · 21-02-2014 12:47PM

When I was young I was playing with my brother in the countryside. There was a river with a stone bridge near to where my uncle lived. Decided to climb it and run across it and my brother grabbed me as the stairs on the other side had fallen away. I was only about 3 steps from falling to critical injuries/death.

June 2012 I came off my motorbike going 80km/h on the M50 during rush hour. I was extremely lucky that there wasn't the usual tailgater behind me. Got away with a broken/dislocated wrist :pac:

danniemcq · 21-02-2014 12:48PM

Drove a quad off a pier, if the water was just a tiny bit shallower then i woulda hit the ground and the quad would have crushed me

Swimming after a football realised i was about a mile off shore and wrecked. Took ages to get back in to shore and if i didn't know the currents of the area i was fecked

Another swimming one was when i was younger and tried to swim to shore and cramped up

Had a funfair waltzer car (takes about 6 or 7 people to lift and even then you struggle) drop nearly on me, the peg at the bottom was just enough to prevent crushing

Used to put my finger into an electrical socket when i was a kid cause it felt weird

marshalling at the Donegal International pushed a car out of the ditch and as we were trying to get to safety another car came around the corner and lost control and came sideways towards me and i think 3 other marshalls. It hit a stump a matter of meters in front of us that stopped the slide and bumping the car the other way.

Ate a cake that had nuts on it, doc said i was in anaphalatic shock and should have been in hospital (i went to bed)

cletus van damme · 21-02-2014 12:59PM

when i was a kid I stuck spoons in a plug socket.
My right arm got a good jolt.

billie1b · 21-02-2014 01:05PM

I used to be a bowling mechanic, machine went tech with an underlane ball jam, shut it off from the lanes, cleared out the jam and was checking under the lane from the bottom off the lane (where the player recieves the ball back) with a torch to double check the ball track. Not to my knowledge they overrode the lane from the computer and it turned on, there was 3 balls in the pit, they came hurtling up the ball track, luckily I seen it at the last second and lifted my head, the ball literally skimmed my nose. If the ball had of hit me full on I would not be here to tell the story.

Plazaman · 21-02-2014 01:10PM

DannieHasABrazilian wrote: »

.....marshalling at the Donegal International pushed a car out of the ditch and as we were trying to get to safety another car came around the corner and lost control and came sideways towards me and i think 3 other marshalls. It hit a stump a matter of meters in front of us that stopped the slide and bumping the car the other way.

I was Marshalling on a 90 degree junction at one of the Galway Stages Rally. It was well taped off so not much to do but stand there as there was feck all spectators.

Bursting for a píss I nipped behind a hedge to relieve myself. In mid flow I could hear a car approaching. There's nothing worse than trying to rush a píss and I was just about done when the car lost control into the junction and flipped, hitting the corner right where I was standing.

No one was seriously hurt and driver and navigator got out but were surprised when another marshall who was just up the road came down shouting in a panic thinking I was under the car. I couldn't have picked a worst time to emerge from a hedge pulling up my fly.

r3nu4l · 21-02-2014 01:14PM

billie1b wrote: »

I used to be a bowling mechanic, machine went tech with an underlane ball jam, shut it off from the lanes, cleared out the jam and was checking under the lane from the bottom off the lane (where the player recieves the ball back) with a torch to double check the ball track. Not to my knowledge they overrode the lane from the computer and it turned on, there was 3 balls in the pit, they came hurtling up the ball track, luckily I seen it at the last second and lifted my head, the ball literally skimmed my nose. If the ball had of hit me full on I would not be here to tell the story.

Heh, the Brunswick A2 pinsetter machine has a large Power off switch on top of the machine, at the front. It can't be overridden by computer. I always used that when clearing ball jams, always tripped the gate too when resetting or clearing a pin manually. A mechanic in Sweden was paralysed by some moron throwing a ball down at him 'for fun' :mad:

My own brush with death was at 12 years of age. Climbing a mountain, I was lying flat and climbing an incline of smooth rock when gravity took hold of me and I began a long slide, 12 feet down the incline and over the edge. I fell about 20 feet onto a ledge and was miraculously completely unhurt. Then I looked over this narrow ledge and realised that if I'd missed it or landed awkwardly and rolled I'd have fallen another 100 feet. Very lucky. As an adult I really despise the adult who felt it was okay to bring us out that day with non helmets, ropes or other safety equipment. Moron.

Michael D Not Higgins · 21-02-2014 01:15PM

Ruptured appendix as a kid, 3 GPs told my mother it was a stomach bug before she took me to hospital.

The Backwards Man · 21-02-2014 01:15PM

One day I was watching Wallace and Gromit and I almost died laughing.

billie1b · 21-02-2014 01:19PM

r3nu4l wrote: »

Heh, the Brunswick A2 pinsetter machine has a large Power off switch on top of the machine, at the front. It can't be overridden by computer. I always used that when clearing ball jams, always tripped the gate too when resetting or clearing a pin manually.

I had already switched it back on to allow the balls to recycle up the S bend onto the rack, my own stupidity also, but I hadn't cleared the lane back to the reception, so they never should have turned it on. I find it funny now but by god was I a lucky fúcker.

davlacey · 21-02-2014 01:22PM

i got locked out on my balcony 3rd floor apartment, so i thought if i could get on the balcony below me the neighbours could let me back into the building, and i could wait for the misses to come home from work with the keys. i thought if i hung from the bottom of my balcony id be able to reach the hand railing of the balcony below me, how wrong was i about 3 foot to short hung there for about 2 mins till i got the balls to swing myself in on the balcony underneath never forget it.

The One Doctor · 21-02-2014 01:47PM

positron wrote: »

I don't know if this counts but I was on a plane out of Charles de Gaulle airport just minutes before the Concorde crashed in July 2000. For all we know the debris on the runway fell off my plane?

Was it a Continental DC-10?

Close shaves (with death)

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